by M. Sembera
Me and my damn mouth…
Chapter Twenty-Six
A week later, I was practically a shut-in. I cancelled all my appointments at the shop and took two weeks off. I spent most of my time in my room. My headphones became a permanent fixture on my person and every song about heartache and misery was my new best friend. I could barely eat and I hardly slept. My days were spent lying on the floor of my room reliving every lost moment between me and Joie.
I stumbled out of my room and walked to the kitchen. Pulling my headphones off of my head, I slid them around my neck when I saw my aunts and uncles sitting at the table playing spades with my parents’. After shaking my uncles’ hands and greeting my aunts’ I walked to the stove and grabbed a slice of pizza.
“He looks so sad,” I heard my Aunt Penny comment before she turned to look at me. “Everyone goes through this at least once in their life. It’ll be okay.”
I walked to the bar on the other side of the table took a bite of pizza and nodded at her.
Aunt Charlotte curled the corner of her mouth into a smile as she added, “The important thing here is that you’re working through your feelings. Without kidnapping anyone.”
I scowled at her thinking that was a weird thing to say. Sure, I’d stalked her a bit before but that’s a whole other level right there.
“I didn’t kidnap her,” dad insisted as everyone started to laugh.
Wait, what?
Mom bumped him with her shoulder and winked. “No, you just took me to a secluded cabin out in the woods without my permission while I was passed out and held me hostage there.”
What the hell?
“You kidnapped mom?”
Appearing as though it wasn’t his first time defending himself over this, he replied, “It wasn’t kidnapping. I packed her a bag and even stopped at the store to make sure we would have food out there.”
Uncle Auggie scratched the side of his beard as he informed, “That’s premeditated kidnapping.”
Dad looked straight at my uncle and replied, “At least I didn’t steal her shoes.”
Uncle Auggie shot Charlotte an irritated expression before griping, “I didn’t steal ‘em, she left them in my truck.”
“You did hold them for ransom, though,” Aunt Charlotte reminded with a wide smile.
“Fine, I did. But I never stalked anybody,” my uncle declared as he looked over at Aunt Penny.
“I did not stalk him,” she stated before turning to Uncle Seth and questioning, “Did I stalk you?”
Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed her cheek before answering, “A little bit.”
“I was wooing you into friendship with delicious baked goods,” she claimed before explaining, “How else was I supposed to greet you every morning if I didn’t stare out of the peephole and listen for you to step out?”
Uncle Seth kissed her again, assuring, “Well, I’m glad that you did.”
While my aunt pursed her lips into a smile, I shook my head and headed back to my room.
To sum up, dad’s a kidnapper, Aunt Penny’s a stalker and Uncle Auggie has a thing for women’s shoes…
About an hour later I heard a knock on my bedroom door. Forcing myself to answer it, I got up and opened the door.
“Can I come in?”
Narrowing my eyes at my mom, I replied, “You never knock.”
Never.
Walking into my room, she shared, “I didn’t want to walk in and find you sitting inside a circle of Joie pictures or something disturbing like that.”
“I did that Tuesday,” I smarted at her as I walked back to my bed.
Ignoring my comment, she stepped to my mirror, looking over the necklace and ring that hung over the corner.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Would you?”
“No, but sometimes it helps to get out of your own head for a while.”
I sat down on my bed and looked at the floor.
Taking a seat next to me, she questioned, “What happened?”
“I don’t know.”
“Palmer?”
“No, I really don’t know, mom. One minute I’m standing there with good intentions and in the next, I’m pissed at her ‘cause she won’t tell me I’m better in bed than Roe.”
Mom closed her eyes, sucked in a deep breath and shook her head at me.
She sat silent for a few seconds before saying, “Why in the hell… I’m not sure why you need to know that but you do understand that what happened between the two of them isn’t any of your business.”
“I wasn’t being serious at first then she wouldn’t answer me. It didn’t bother me, until it did. And then, I said some things.”
“Do I want to know?”
“Nope.”
“Okay, well, you’re done moping around the house. You’re going to get up and take a shower. Then, you’re going to clean up this room. After that, you’re going to do whatever it is you need to do to get your life back to where it needs to be and you’re going to rejoin the rest of the world as a productive member of society.”
“Mom.”
“Palmer.”
“It hurts.”
“I know,” she assured, placing her arm around me.
Leaning my head against her shoulder, I shared, “I’ve never felt this way. I had plans for us. I was going to do things.”
“Then do them. You’ve always had a lot of words to share. Your mouth has gotten you out of as much trouble as it’s gotten you in over the years. I don’t know what all was said and I don’t want to either. What I do know is, Joie is a twenty-year-old single mother with a full-time job, her own apartment and car note. She is a grown up. She doesn’t have time to play with you anymore. No amount of words is going to make her believe that you are the right man for her. You’re going to have to show her.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
My mom can come off harsh, most of the time, but that doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She knew what to say to me and how to say it to kick my ass out of feeling sorry for myself and into gear. My heart still felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, hanging heavy inside my chest but now, I had purpose. It wasn’t as good as having Joie but it would do for now.
I still had another week off and decided to make it count.
“Can I steal Roe for a few hours,” I questioned, walking into my dad’s shop.
“If it’s okay with him,” dad laughed before asking, “Did you get ahold of Ailin?”
“Yea, he said as long as you, Uncle Auggie and Aunt Penny were fine with it he’d be happy to.”
Dad smiled at me as I glanced over at Roe, “You comin’ or what?”
“Where?”
“Man, just come on,” I urged before dad assured, “Go on, take the day off.”
Roe stared at me for a moment before dusting himself off and heading out the door with me.
When I pulled up at our Grandma Sarah’s house, I could feel Roe staring at me. It was actually our Uncle Ailin’s house because he and his wife, Sophia, bought it from her before he was transferred and they moved to Europe. Since it was the house he, dad, Uncle Auggie and Aunt Penny grew up in, and they all had their own homes, the agreement was made not to sell it. Everyone kind of takes turns keeping up with the house but it’s old. It’s got potential though. Four bedrooms, wraparound porch, on a nice piece of land and my personal favorite rich in Caffrey family history.
I parked a few feet from the house before getting out. Roe followed me until I stopped on the porch.
“I’m buying it,” I shared, nudging him with my elbow.
He appeared surprised and then smiled. “Good.”
“Yea, it’s gonna need work though.”
“Is that why I’m here?”
I flashed a smile before informing, “We’ll talk about the house later.”
He appeared concerned as he squinted his eyes at me.
Or maybe he was curious. I don’t know, the man only has three facial expressions.
/> “I looked online and all you have to do to get your driver’s license is take a class and then pass the driving test.”
Stepping off of the porch, Roe stated, “I can’t drive.”
I hopped off next to him. “I know, that’s why I’m going to teach you.”
“No,” he shouted, walking to the car.
“Come on, man,” I replied, grabbing his arm to stop him.
He shoved me back with a growl. “Get off me.”
I held my hands out at my sides as he glared at me.
“Roe, you need to drive.”
“No.”
“Yea, ya do,” I insisted, taking a step closer to him. “You’re a grown man with a kid. Don’t you want to be able to pick her up from school one day or what if she’s with you and there’s an emergency.”
He seemed to be thinking it over so I decided to give him a little push.
“I’m not gonna pretend that I have any idea what it was like to be in the car that day. But that was a long time ago.” I stopped, pulled my keys out of my pocket and held them out to him. “And right now, you need to man up, take these keys and drive the damn car.”
Roe stood there balling his fists at his sides.
“Take the keys.”
His head barely nodded as he reached out and took the keys from me.
Roe sat in the driver’s seat with his hands resting against the thighs of his slacks instead of the steering wheel.
“Put the key in and start the car.”
His hand shook as he slid the key into the ignition without starting my car.
“I can’t,” he stated, dropping his hand back to his pant leg.
“You can.”
“No.”
Didn’t we just do this?
He began frantically shaking his head back and forth, stuttering, “Nnnno, I ccccan’t.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder and blurted, “Roe, stop,” trying to snap him out of whatever was happening.
His whole body shook. “Ittt was mmmy fffaultt.”
Squeezing his shoulder, I assured, “It wasn’t.”
I kept my hand on his shoulder as he slowly calmed down.
“I killed him.”
“Roe?” I could feel myself scowl, waiting for him to explain.
His voice was shaky as he shared, “I wanted to sit in the front. Will always sat up front. We flipped for it. I didn’t know she was having a stroke. I didn’t know what was happening. Her head was back and her arms were down at her sides. The car started to drift. I panicked. I jerked the wheel. I wanted to tell everyone that it was my fault. I couldn’t tell anyone. I killed him.”
Tears burned my eyes as I watched him fold his head over and cry.
That’s a heavy burden for a ten-year-old to carry. No wonder he was so screwed up.
“You didn’t have to carry that all on your own,” I swore, sucking in a breath as the tears rolled from my eyes.
Roe sniffled a few times as he nodded then slowly raised his hands and placed them on the steering wheel.
Glancing over at me, he asked, “Are you crying?”
I pulled the collar of my t-shirt up to wipe my eyes and griped, “Shut the hell up and start the car.”
Two grown-ass men, cryin’ in a car.
“After this we’re gettin’ a shot of whiskey and a beer.”
“I don’t drink.”
“I don’t give a shit, that’s what we’re doin’. Now drive the damn car.”
Next on my to-do list was just as meaningful and only slightly less traumatic than teaching Roe to drive. I stood in the marking room with my Aunt Penny as she hugged me tight with tears streaming down her face.
“You were always my favorite. Don’t tell anyone I said that but you are. You’re my favorite,” she swore before wiping her eyes and letting go of me.
“I know,” I confirmed as I looked down at her.
“How did you get him in the driver’s seat?”
Lying a bit but for a good cause, I replied, “It was nothing I did. He realized it was time.”
A sweet smile formed as she assured, “That’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. What’s important is that he’s making progress.”
The fact that she knew I was lying made me smile.
Aunt Penny patted my arm before walking to the logbook. She smiled down at it while rubbing her hand across the top of it.
“As many times as I was disappointed in Kieran, before and after he died, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for him because he passed his Legacy onto me.” Nodding, I watched as she turned from the book and looked at me, imparting, “His dad never would have let a woman become a marker. When I gave my first mark, he told me this was our legacy and that we make the rules from now on.”
“I’m glad he did.”
A bittersweet smile coated her expression as she shared, “I’m proud of you Palmer. You were a good apprentice and I know our legacy is in good hands with you. This is my last mark. You are my last mark. After today, you are the family marker.”
I don’t even know what to say right now but I’m not going to cry, again, damn it.
Clinching my back teeth together I nodded at the somber moment we were sharing.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, taking my shirt off over my head.
“Who was your drawer?”
I handed her the envelope from my back pocket. “Liv Caffrey.”
Aunt Penny hunched her shoulders up and smiled wide at me.
I thought she was going to cry again as she held the square of paper with my mark in her hand. It was a traditional Celtic heart with two drumsticks crossed behind it forming an x. One stick said Joie and the other Dalilah.
“I’m glad you’re including her.”
“Can’t have one without the other. They’re a package deal, ya know.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
It took a few weeks to get the paperwork sorted for the house. Since it was for sale by owner it was fairly simple, the only issue real issue was distance. Packets had to be mailed back and forth between my Uncle Ailin and I to be notarized. There were a few extra stipulations set to ensure the house would stay in the family no matter whose name was on the deed. I did have one minor setback but Aunt Charlotte’s dad pulled some strings for me and after that everything went smoothly.
The utilities were on, repairs were made and I was broke as hell before I even moved in. This adulting shit’s expensive. Two days before I moved out of my parents’ house, I was cleaning out the rehearsal room when my mom walked in.
“I bought you a microwave.”
I looked up at her from the pile of music I was going through.
“Thanks.”
She stood in the doorway for a minute before explaining, “You said you knew how to work one.”
“I do. Thank you, mom.”
“Don’t burn the house down,” she blurted at me before reminding, “Like you almost did here the time you tried to cook yourself breakfast.”
“I won’t,” I replied as I stood up and walked in her direction.
“It would be safer if you ate here.”
“You want me to drive here every morning for breakfast?”
With a serious expression, she added, “Dinner too.”
“We’re still going to see each other at the shop.”
“I know but you’ve always lived here, ever since you were born.”
I wrapped my arms tight around her and assured, “I’m gonna miss you too, mom.”
The look in her eyes showed a mixture of pride and sadness as I let go.
She let out a loud breath and turned to walk out when an idea hit me.
“Can I have Monster, Doup and Joie over?”
Turning back to me she blurted, “What?”
“They need to come get their stuff from in here anyway.”
Mom looked me over before slapping her hands against the front of her thighs, “Ha! I know what you’
re thinking.”
“So it’s cool?”
“I’ll go back to the store.”
“Thanks.”
Mom winked at me, making a clicking sound with her mouth as she walked out.
After I texted Monster and Doup, I texted Joie.
Palmer: Cleaning out the rehearsal room.
I waited a minute to see if she was going to text back.
Palmer: Monster and Doup will be here at 7, gonna make it a thing.
When she didn’t text back I sent one last text to her.
Palmer: Free food and daycare provided.
Cute right?
In the rehearsal room Doup flipped through an old note book of tattoo idea’s I’d drawn up while Monster dug through a jar of picks.
I had given up on Joie showing up as I offered, “Beer?” heading for the door.
Doup blurted, “Always,” before Monster shook his head. “Sheila’ll kick my ass if I come home drunk.”
I shook my head and laughed while Doup argued the fact that two beers wasn’t close to getting drunk as I walked out.
Rounding the corner into the kitchen, I heard mom say, “Rubbing her stomach with olive oil might do the trick.”
An unexpected feeling of triumph resonated inside of me when I saw Joie standing there holding Dalilah next to mom.
“You came.”
“I’m here for Monster and Doup,” she assured as she handed Dalilah to my mom before walking past me.
Fair enough.
I spent a few minutes with Dalilah before heading back to the rehearsal room.
When I walked in, Joie was fussing, “Why is that in here?” as Monster held up a pink training bra.
Doup tipped his bottle at her and answered, “You pulled it off and threw it in the corner.”
“When did I do that?”
I smiled to myself before sharing, “The day you tried out.”
Joie shook her head with a scowl at first then covered her face with her hands and began to laugh.
Monster nodded and glanced over at me. “Man, we thought you were messin’ with us. Talkin’ about this badass drummer that you knew and in walks little Joie.”
