The Bigfoot Blunder (A Charlie Rhodes Cozy Mystery Book 1)

by Amanda M. Lee

  “You saw her steal the keys?” I wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Why didn’t you say something before she left the property?”

  “I wanted to see what she would do,” Jack answered honestly. “I lost sight of her for a few minutes, so I waited in the parking lot. Imagine my surprise when she left with you.”

  “I … this is my fault.” I felt suddenly desperate. “If someone is going to get in trouble, it should be me.”

  “No one is going to get in trouble, because Chris isn’t going to find out about it,” Jack countered. “As for the rest, Millie can’t be fired. She knows too many family secrets. Even though she’s divorced from Myron, the entire family is still fond of her. She could burn down the entire lab and be safe.”

  That made me feel marginally better. “I … that’s a relief.”

  “You’re another story,” Jack plowed forward. “I’m sure they explained that you’re on probation for ninety days, right?”

  I wordlessly nodded, my heart sinking.

  “You can’t steal rental vehicles when you’re on probation,” Jack barked. “That’s not how things are done around here.”

  “I … well … .” I broke off, swallowing hard. “We were only asking some questions. I thought you might be interested in the answers. I didn’t think we were doing anything wrong.”

  “I don’t believe that for a second.” Jack’s expression softened as he ran his tongue over his lips. “Charlie, I know Millie bullied you into going and you went because you have a natural curiosity.You were loyal enough not to let Millie tackle this part of the investigation on her own. It’s a nice sentiment, but you need to understand that Millie always leaps and never looks.”

  “I didn’t think there would be any harm in it.” That was true, right? I honestly couldn’t recall any longer.

  “I don’t think you believe that. And I’m not here to suck all of the fun out of this,” Jack countered. “I know you don’t believe it, but it’s true. Just … you should’ve gotten me. I would’ve gone with you.”

  I couldn’t help but be suspicious, and I made my feelings known as Jack pulled into a parking spot in front of The Overlook. “You’re only angry you were left out of the fun. Admit it.”

  Jack snorted. “Whatever.” He hopped out of the vehicle and moved toward the sidewalk that led to the inn’s main door. Bernard was already out of the Tahoe and supporting Millie’s weight as he led her toward The Overlook.

  I considered pressing Jack on the issue of his anger, convinced his nose was really out of joint because we didn’t include him. I didn’t get the chance. He extended an arm in front of me to still my movement and tilted his head to the side. “Do you hear that?” His voice was barely a whisper.

  I didn’t hear anything but my own inner voice telling me that Jack was purposely trying to be a pain in the butt. “Don’t change the subject,” I chided. “I … .”

  Jack clamped his hand over my mouth and pressed his eyes shut for a moment, ultimately changing course when his senses tripped over something I couldn’t see or hear.

  “What are you doing?” I hissed, shoving his hand from my mouth.

  “Something is going on back there,” Jack whispered, pointing toward a spot on the other side of the greenhouse I’d noted when we first arrived. “There are people outside.”

  “What are they doing?”

  Jack shrugged. “I have no idea. You’re convinced the Winchesters are up to something, right?”

  My previous indifference evaporated. “Yes.”

  “Let’s see what that noise is.”

  I kept close enough to Jack that I could touch him if things went bad, but remained quiet as I followed him. It took him a few minutes to pick his way through the area, finally stopping and staring when we reached a small clearing halfway up the bluff behind the inn.

  A bonfire roared in the center of the circle. My mouth dropped open when I saw the dancing women. There were four of them … and they were naked. “Is that … ?”

  “Winnie, Marnie, Twila and Tillie.” Jack hissed. “I guess Millie isn’t the only one who thought it was a good night to drink. They look as if they’ve been through at least four bottles of wine, if the empties scattered on the ground are to be believed.”

  “What are they doing?”

  “They appear to be dancing.” Jack was grim. “I’ll never be able to unsee this. I didn’t even know boobs could spin that way.”

  I couldn’t help but be amused, opening my mouth to tease him when a hint of movement caught my attention on the far side of the clearing. Landon, a disgusted look on his face, stumbled closer to the women, Bay at his side.

  “Oh, good grief,” Landon complained. “You couldn’t wait until the monster hunters were gone to do this?”

  Winnie energetically waved and continued to dance. “It’s the vernal equinox,” she argued. “We can’t delay it. It doesn’t matter who is staying at the inn.”

  “Yes,” Twila laughed. “We … must … dance!” She jiggled her butt for emphasis.

  I exchanged a quick look with Jack to see if I could grasp what he was thinking. His face remained impassive.

  “They already think we’re weird,” Bay offered. “If they see this … .”

  “Who cares what they think?” Tillie called out. “I certainly don’t.”

  “You don’t care what anyone thinks,” Landon said, moving closer to the blanket spread on the grass. “Did you drink all of the wine? If I’m going to watch this, I’ll need wine.”

  “There’s more in the basket.” Twila flapped her arm as she pranced and pointed. “You should hurry up and drink so you can catch up. You live on the property now, too, Landon. You need to dance.”

  Landon shot a worried look in Bay’s direction. “Is that true?”

  “I should mess with you, but it’s not true.” Bay giggled. “They have a bet to see when you finally get drunk enough to dance with them under the full moon.”

  “Oh.” Landon’s face was impassive. “That’s never going to happen.”

  “Oh, it’s going to happen,” Tillie said. “I’m definitely going to live to see that.”

  “Whatever.” Landon shook his head as he pulled a cork. “Who wants to drink with me?”

  Bay raised her hand.

  “I know you do.” Landon kissed the tip of her nose, making my heart hurt because the smile he flashed at her was so earnest. “So … bottoms up?”

  Bay slid a glance in the direction of her mother and aunts. “That’s probably the wrong term around this group.”

  Landon chuckled. “Cheers?”

  Bay smiled. “Drink up, witches,” she corrected, giggling.

  “Drink up it is.” Landon took a huge mouthful of wine and risked a glance at the gyrating older women. “We might need a few more bottles of this if I’m going to survive the horror.”

  “You and me both.”

  13

  Thirteen

  We watched a long time. Probably longer than we should have. It was too fascinating to turn away from. Jack secreted us behind a group of trees and we hunkered down, fascinated despite the chill in the air as the women did their own thing and ignored the outside world.

  Mostly it was just dancing. Bay and Landon didn’t join in, instead resting on the blanket spread across the far side of the clearing and whispering to one another. After almost an hour Landon staggered to his feet, tossed Bay over his shoulder and announced they were going to bed. It was clear what he had in mind. The others merely waved and continued their twirling.

  Eventually my legs cramped and Jack prodded me away. We made the walk back to The Overlook mostly in silence, only risking talking once we were inside.

  “What do you make of that?” he asked finally, breathless.

  “They like to drink and dance.”

  Jack made an exaggerated face. “But … Landon was out there with them. He didn’t seem to care at all.”

  “Why should he? This obviously isn’t the fi
rst time they’ve done it.”

  “No, but that’s his future mother-in-law,” Jack argued. “Why would he want to see her naked?”

  He had a point. Still … . “He never looked at Winnie,” I said after a moment’s contemplation. “He stayed focused on Bay the entire time. I mean ... well … he knew they were dancing, but he remained focused on Bay while they were out there.”

  “He’s always focused on Bay,” Jack noted. “He barely looks at anyone else.”

  “He loves her.”

  “It’s not just that,” Jack countered. “It’s as if he’s waiting for something bad to happen to her. He’s determined to protect her at all costs.”

  I noticed that, too. “Well, she is a reporter who happens to own the newspaper where she works,” I offered. “Maybe she gets into trouble from time to time.”

  “She’s a reporter for a weekly in a town that’s all about festivals,” Jack argued. “I wouldn’t think that would put her in harm’s way very often. Landon tries to keep her as close as possible whenever he can.”

  “I think it’s kind of sweet that he loves her that much.”

  “I think it’s weird.”

  I made a face. “Because you can’t imagine loving someone that much?”

  Jack shook his head. “Because he seems to be waiting for something terrible to descend on this family. It’s almost as if he knows that danger is coming, and when it arrives, it will be coming for Bay. Why do you think he believes that?”

  “I think some people want to protect the people they love at all costs.” My mind briefly traveled to my parents and the way they cautioned me about keeping my abilities hidden. “Maybe Landon knows something we don’t. Have you ever considered that?”

  Jack held his hands palms up. “That’s exactly what I’m worried about. What do you think he knows?”

  I had no idea, but I was determined to find out. “I need some sleep. I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “You’ll definitely see me in the morning.” Jack shuffled down the hallway, heading for his room. He paused with his hand on the doorknob. “You don’t have to worry about getting in trouble. Even if Chris finds out, you’ll be fine. Millie will tell him the truth and, like I said, she’s allowed to do whatever she wants.”

  “Yeah? Thanks.” I flashed a small smile. “I probably shouldn’t have gone with her. It seemed like a good idea at the time, though.”

  “The dumbest ideas always do.” This time Jack’s grin was legitimate. “Get some sleep. I have a feeling it’s going to be an interesting morning.”

  He wasn’t the only one.

  I WOKE EARLY and showered, taking the extra time to blow dry my long hair and apply the bare minimum of makeup. I hadn’t imbibed the night before, so I didn’t have a hangover, but I was under the impression that the same couldn’t be said for the rest of the house.

  Tillie, Landon, Bay, Thistle and Marcus sat at the dining room table when I hit the main floor. I took a moment to eavesdrop before entering.

  “I can’t believe I missed that,” Thistle complained. “I forgot it was the equinox. We need to write this stuff down on a calendar, Marcus. You know how I love the naked dancing.”

  “You don’t love the naked dancing,” Marcus argued. It was the first time I could remember him raising his voice. He seemed quiet and contemplative most of the time, which was why I liked him. “You do nothing but complain when it’s happening.”

  “That lasts only until I’ve had some wine,” Thistle shot back. “I like it fine after that.”

  “Well, I don’t like it fine,” Marcus argued. “You know how I feel about the magic of spinning boobs.”

  I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

  “We didn’t spend any time watching them anyway,” Bay offered. “Once Landon had some wine in him he started making up poems about bacon and that got him in the mood.”

  “The mood for what?” Tillie asked, nursing her mug of coffee with a haggard expression. “By the way, my boobs don’t spin. They’re as firm as they were when I was a teenager. I could be a model. They’re that firm. No, seriously, I could totally do it professionally. Victoria’s Secret called and I had to turn them down.”

  Thistle snorted. “Please. Your boobs have like eight minds of their own when you get to drinking and dancing. Still, was that a smart idea when we have the Legacy Foundation group in the inn?”

  “I don’t care who we have in the inn,” Tillie replied. “Besides, they’re looking for Bigfoot. Unless I’m mistaken, we weren’t dancing with Bigfoot.”

  “You were still loud enough to draw attention,” Landon warned. “That’s how Bay and I knew you were out there. We forgot it was the equinox, too.”

  “And you wanted to go home and take a bath,” Bay teased. She seemed mildly hungover, but in good spirits. “Think how much we would’ve missed if we did that.”

  “I’m sure my head wouldn’t be pounding nearly as much as it is now if we’d been good instead of bad,” Landon countered, rubbing his forehead. “Still, I’m glad you made me write down that ode to bacon before going to bed. I’m going to recite it to you every night.”

  Bay snorted. “Yes, that will certainly put me in the mood.”

  “It will put me in the mood,” Landon said. “I’m the one who generally puts you in the moods so … we’ll be fine.”

  I took advantage of the lull in the conversation and pasted a bright smile on my face as I walked into the dining room. “Good morning. How is everyone this fine and beautiful spring day?” Hmm. That probably came out a little forced, huh?

  “Still alive,” Tillie replied, draining the rest of her coffee. “I’d say that’s about all we have going for us.”

  I fixed a puzzled look into place while pouring my own mug of coffee. “Oh, is something wrong?”

  Tillie narrowed her eyes as she regarded me, rolling her neck and openly staring. “She saw us.” She made the announcement after only a few moments of contemplation. I was completely taken aback.

  “I did not see you.”

  “Ha!” Tillie extended a finger. “If you didn’t see us, how do you know there was something to see?”

  “You just told me.”

  “Oh.” Tillie drew her eyebrows together. “I’m still pretty sure she saw us.”

  “I’m pretty sure you’re right,” Landon said dryly, pouring Bay a glass of tomato juice as he pinned me with a quizzical look. “Were you out and about last night?”

  “I … .” Crap. I was caught. They knew it and I knew it. Thankfully Jack picked that moment to swoop into the dining room and save me.

  “What’s going on?” he asked, his expression unreadable as his gaze bounced from face to face.

  “She was spying on us last night,” Tillie replied, unruffled. “She thinks we don’t know … but we know.”

  “Spying?” Jack was a much better actor than I was and when he lifted a confused-looking eyebrow I almost believed him. “What was she spying on?”

  Tillie ran her tongue over her teeth as she regarded Jack. I figured she was probably debating whether or not she wanted to tattle. I was wrong.

  “You were out there, too.”

  Jack balked. “I was not out there watching you.”

  I groaned as I slapped my hand to my forehead. “And you think I’m a bad liar,” I muttered, shaking my head.

  “Told you.” Tillie was clearly full of herself as she shifted her eyes to Landon. “You didn’t do anything illegal, did you? They could take your badge if you’re not careful.”

  “I didn’t do anything illegal,” Landon barked, his annoyance obvious. “At least I don’t think I did. We didn’t do that one thing I suggested with the bacon, right?” He looked confused when he glanced at Bay.

  Instead of being embarrassed, she giggled. “No. We don’t have any bacon in the guesthouse. We couldn’t have done that even if we wanted to.”

  “I think the better question is: Would you have done that?” Landon p
erked up.

  Bay immediately began shaking her head. “No. It’s dirty.”

  “Since when did you become a puritan?”

  “Not dirty-minded,” Bay corrected. “It’s physically dirty. We’d never get the grease out of the sheets.”

  “What if we do it in the tub?”

  “Do you want to eat soggy bacon?”

  Landon shrugged. “Life is full of hard choices, sweetie. We’ll give it some thought later.” He patted her hand and turned to Jack. “They were on their own property. What you saw was none of your business.”

  Jack widened his eyes. “I didn’t want to mention seeing anything.” He jerked his thumb in my direction. “That’s on her. She has a big mouth.”

  “She didn’t announce that she saw us,” Bay pointed out. “She merely pretended she didn’t, and Aunt Tillie figured out she was lying.”

  “And how did she do that?” Jack asked.

  Bay shrugged. “She has a nose for lies. I can’t explain it.”

  “Yeah, she definitely manages to figure out when people are lying,” Thistle confirmed. “Once, when I was a teenager, I told her the truth about my car breaking down because that was the reason I missed curfew. She got me to admit to lying even though I was telling the truth.”

  “That’s not why I did that,” Tillie said, snorting. “I knew you weren’t lying that night. I also knew you snuck out two nights before and made out with the Randall boy. You didn’t get caught for that, so I was merely paying you back.”

  Thistle’s mouth dropped open. “How did you know I snuck out that night?”

  “I know all and see all.”

  Surprisingly enough, the Winchesters didn’t appear bothered that someone had spied on them the previous evening – which was dumbfounding to me because I wouldn’t get naked in the gym shower, let alone a field full of family members. So I took a risk and settled in one of the open chairs, picking a spot close to Jack. He filled his mug with coffee, clearly enthralled by the odd conversation.

  “You’re making that up,” Thistle said. “You simply played the odds that I’d done something wrong over the past week and guilted me until you got the outcome you wanted.”