Klingon Hearts 11 Controlled - Limitations of the Mind

by Tracy Sobieski

  She smiled tentatively at him. "Sure."

  She was a terrible liar. Kyle frowned, put the tray on the nightstand and sat down on the bed, facing her. This must be what it was like for Lucas all the time. He could hear her thoughts so clearly she might as well be speaking aloud.

  <>

  Melanie's dark brown eyes flew to his in shock. "How did you do that?!" Her voice was barely a whisper.

  "It's called 'Imzadi,'" he explained softly. "We're bonded, Melanie. Just like my parents. Just like Lucas and K'Leena. I thought you understood."

  "N-no...I didn't realize...."

  She all but jumped off the bed and moved away from him. Kyle resisted the urge to follow her. Damn! She was frightened again. Of him!

  "Melanie, please." He reached out with his voice. "Don't...."

  "You can read my mind?!" There was more than a touch of anger in her voice. "You're not a telepath! You're barely an empath!"

  She couldn't deal with this. She didn't want him in her head! He had no right to her thoughts! They were hers! Only hers!

  Kyle cursed violently and stood up, causing her to shrink from him more. "It's not like that!"

  She grabbed her clothes and held them in front of herself protectively. "Get out, Kyle." The dead coldness of her voice tore at his heart.

  God, no! Not again! She couldn't shut him out again, he wouldn't allow it. "We need to talk."

  "No, we don't. You can just read my mind and find out all you want."

  "I wouldn't do that! You don't understand! I don't want anything from you that you won't give me freely! Dammit, Melanie, don't do this!"

  "I want to be alone." She clutched the garments closer to her chest, eyes pleading with him to just turn and leave. "Please, Kyle," she begged.

  Kyle took a step toward her and froze when she flinched from him. There was an actual physical pain that tore through his heart at the sight of her cowering from him.

  "I'm sorry," he apologized roughly.

  "Just go. Please!" The request came out thickly, her breath catching on a sob.

  She sank to her knees at the sound of the door hissing closed, trembling uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face.

  Kyle leaned against the door he'd just exited, softly banging the back of his head on the gray metal. Had he ruined everything?

  *****

  Melanie managed to avoid Kyle for most of the day, hiding out like a coward in Sickbay on the pretense of working. It was late afternoon before she ventured out to take a walk down to try and clear her head. She ended up in the holodeck. Out of curiosity, she ran the famous "Resort" program that Voyager used in it's early years in the Delta Quadrant. She found herself sitting on one of the large, coal-black breaker rocks watching the waves roll in. The warm moist air was soothing and she soon found her self in a better mood.

  She'd done it again. Reacted out of fear. Kyle was better off without her. She couldn't even control her emotions. The minute she felt threatened she struck out blindly, hurting the closest thing. If she became involved with him, he would always be the closest thing. It wasn't fair to him. She was broken. Damaged. He deserved someone whole. Someone who could love him back completely. Without fear.

  "Hey there," Lucas interrupted her thoughts her gently, hesitantly. "Got a minute?"

  Melanie startled slightly, then turned her head and smiled. "For you? Always. What's on your mind?"

  "I'm worried about a friend."

  Confusion spread across her face. "Me?"

  He nodded. "I thought maybe you could use someone to talk to."

  "I think that's my line."

  "Please." Lucas held up both hands in surrender. "I'm just concerned for you, Melanie. And Kyle." He took a seat next to her on the enormous rock.

  She viewed him thoughtfully for a moment, tucking her knees under her chin and hugging her legs tighter against her body. "Been peeking into my mind, Lucas?" She couldn't keep the anger from her voice. Dammit, they didn't have the right to just read her mind like that!

  "Not intentionally, honest. But, sometimes...."

  "You can't help but 'overhear?'"

  Overhear. It was as good a term as any, but it wasn't anywhere near accurate. He didn't just "hear" their thoughts. He felt their emotions. And the stronger the emotion, the deeper he felt it. It was impossible to block all the time. If he dropped his guard for even a moment, it would crash into his consciousness. K'Leena was the only one he could be around and not have to maintain the mental blocks. Even though she didn't realize it, over the years she'd learned to erect mental barriers of her own to protect him. He could get through them if he wanted. A small push with his mind was all it took, but it still took actual effort. He could relax with her like he could with no one else. Most of the time anyway. Lately all they seemed to do was fight.

  "Yeah," he admitted with a grimace. "Sometimes, I overhear."

  "That must be difficult for you." Always the therapist.

  Lucas groaned. "Not today, Melanie, huh? Can you just stop being a counselor for one damn minute and let me help you?"

  A grin twitched the corners of her mouth. "It just bugs the hell out of you, doesn't it? If there's a problem you have to fix it. If there's a woman in distress you have to save her. Lucas Riker has to be the hero, doesn't he?"

  "Attacking me won't make your problems go away, Melanie," he told her softly.

  "And rescuing me won't make yours disappear either, Lucas."

  *****

  Lucas met Kyle on his way out of the holodeck. Kyle's dark mood did nothing to ease his mind.

  "Don't, Kyle," he told him. "She doesn't need this from you right now."

  His brother saw red. "Go to hell, Lucas! This is none of your business." He tried to push past the older man, but Lucas grabbed his arm.

  "I said 'Don't.'"

  Kyle froze. "Let go before I knock some sense into that thick skull of yours. You of all people have no business giving relationship advice." The icy contempt in Kyle's voice was impossible to miss.

  "Maybe not," he conceded, tightening his grip. "But I do know she doesn't need your anger now. And I'm not about to let you go down there looking for a fight."

  "I warned you!" The younger Riker growled before twisting out of the tight grasp. An instant later, his fist connected with Lucas' jaw, sending his brother staggering away from him.

  The second punch Kyle threw didn't hit his mark. Lucas deflected it, almost effortlessly, but the third hit him in the solar plexus, almost winding him.

  "Would you knock it off!" He yelled, catching his breath harshly and dodging yet another swing. "I'm not going to fight with you!"

  "What's the matter, Lucas? Scared you'll lose?" It was a ridiculous taunt and Kyle knew it. Lucas could kill him with one blow if he chose to, but Kyle was too angry to care.

  "Oh, for the love of God!" Lucas swore. He blocked the next punch, grabbed Kyle's arm and faster than he could take his next breath, Lucas had him pinned face first into the ground, his knee on the center of Kyle's back to prevent him from getting up. "Settle down, you idiot!"

  "Lucas! Get off your brother!"

  Kyle and Lucas groaned in unison at the sound of their father's voice coming from down the dimly lit corridor.

  "What the hell is the matter with the two of you?!" Will barked, all but yanking his eldest child off his youngest by the scruff of his neck.

  "Nothing," Lucas lied with a grin. "We were just wrestling, right, Kyle?"

  Kyle stood up sheepishly. "Yeah, wrestling." He gave Lucas a grateful glance.

  Will was not impressed. "Wrestling, huh?" There was a long pause while the admiral let his sons squirm. "Lucas, your wife is looking for you. You can explain to her why you have a split lip and torn uniform. Kyle," he turned to his youngest child. "I would like a word with you."

  Kyle felt like a naughty child as he followed his father to the Mess Hall.

  "Sit!" Will commanded as soon as they were alone.

 
; "I really don't have time for a lecture, Dad." Kyle made for the door, deciding he didn't want to do this. So, he and Lucas had a fight. Big deal. Brothers fought all the time.

  "Make time." It was the "admiral's" voice that stopped him.

  If nothing else, Lieutenant Thomas Kyle Riker was a well trained Starfleet officer. With everyone back in uniform and being onboard a starship, his actions were almost programmed. Kyle spun back around stiffly and stood at attention, saying nothing and waiting with military precision for his commanding officer to give him his orders.

  "Sit down, please," his father implored.

  Kyle merely assumed an 'at ease' stance. "Sir?" he prodded after Will just looked at him for a long moment.

  With a sigh, the eldest Riker sat down in then nearest chair.

  "What was going on outside they holodeck just now?" he asked Kyle.

  "Nothing."

  Will rolled his eyes. "Right, and I'm the Tooth Fairy."

  Kyle chuckled. "Aren't you?" He cocked his head to the side slightly.

  "No, I'm Santa, your mother's the Tooth Fairy. Now stop trying to avoid my question."

  "Lucas and I had a disagreement. That's all. No big deal."

  "This disagreement wouldn't have been about Melanie, would it?"

  "I don't remember."

  Will sighed heavily. Being a father to Kyle was harder than being one to Lucas. He understood Lucas. His motivations were never a mystery to him since they were so much alike, but Kyle was different. He was more like his mother. Will wondered how to broach the subject that Kyle obviously needed to talk about. Straight forward, he decided after a moment. It was probably the wrong thing to do, it seemed most of his decisions concerning his youngest were, but he didn't know how else to go about it.

  "Did you spend the night with her?"

  Kyle's head snapped back in surprise. Enough was enough. "You don't seriously expect me to answer that, do you?"

  "Dammit, Kyle! I'm just trying to help."

  "Trust me, Dad," he drawled bitterly. "Nothing you say is going to help."

  "What if I told you I knew what you were going though. That I'd been there and understood?"

  The scathing reply died on his lips as the implications of what his father just said sank in.

  "Mom?" he managed to choke out.

  "Yes," Will nodded, his voice shaking as well. "Not the same way as Melanie, but a violation just the same. Maybe even worse in some ways, I don't know." His shoulders dropped with a heavy sigh. These memories were hard to revisit. It'd been very difficult for Deanna and him. Both times it had happened. The first time, with Jev using a memory of him had been bad enough. It had taken the better part of a year for Deanna to feel comfortable with him again. But the second time... God! They'd been married then, completely bonded. He'd felt it all. He'd known her pain as if it was his own. She'd just come back to him after a separation. They'd finally managed to work through their problems and have a real marriage and he'd almost lost her again.

  Kyle was confused. "What do you mean, 'not the same?'"

  "Mental rape is still a violation. So, if you think I don't know what you're going through, you're dead wrong."

  "Gods," Kyle breathed, shocked to his boots at the revelation. "Does Lucas know?"

  Will laughed harshly. "Lucas would go hunting if he knew." Which was precisely what Will had done. He'd killed a man in cold blood and never regretted it. Never would.

  "And I wouldn't." Kyle bristled at his father's assumption that he wasn't as protective of his family as Lucas was.

  "No, you wouldn't." Kyle was more level-headed than Lucas, or himself for that matter.

  The simple confidence in his father's voice, cut Kyle deeply. "Of course not!" he snapped. "Not Kyle. He would never do something like that. He'll never measure up to Lucas."

  "Measure up...?" Will broke off, appalled. "You don't really believe that, do you?"

  "What? That I'm not the son Lucas is? Why should I believe otherwise? Everyone knows he's perfect."

  Kyle stood up to leave and Will rounded the desk rapidly to stop him.

  "Wait a minute," he demanded. "You can't just throw that out there and leave."

  "Sure I can. It's the truth."

  "Dammit, Kyle!" Will grabbed his son's arm when he turned to leave. "It's not the truth! I have never once held you up to Lucas' standard!"

  "But Lucas is the 'standard,' isn't he?" The cold conviction in Kyle's voice stunned his father.

  "Lucas isn't perfect, Kyle," he told him quietly. "And I never wanted you to be anyone other than who you are."

  "Since when?" And with that, Kyle stalked out of the office, leaving his father standing alone is shocked silence.

  *****

  Mike's lips twitched with a barely repressed grin when Lucas exited the turbolift doors on the Bridge, looking like something Tessa's cat dragged in.

  "Finally pushed her too far and she hauled off and hit you, huh?" The laughter was just screaming to be let out.

  Lucas rolled his eyes. "It was Kyle, not K'Leena." He spoke slowly, testing his sore jaw.

  "Damn. Sorry I missed that. I haven't seen you get your ass kicked in a while. Could have used the diversion."

  "Don't you have something better to do?" Lucas asked bitingly.

  Mike grinned broadly. "It's my turn on the Bridge."

  "Great."

  "What's up with Kyle, or did he just hit you for the hell of it?"

  "You don't want to know, trust me. How's Tessa?"

  Lucas noticed the fist Mike clenched at the question. "Okay, I guess. She's quiet. Withdrawn."

  "It's only been a couple of days, Mike. Give her some time. She lost the baby before she even knew she was pregnant."

  "She'd finally agreed to marry me. Did I tell you that?"

  Lucas shook his head.

  "The night before she miscarried. I was so happy when I woke up that morning. I couldn't wait for Harry and Seven to arrive so we could get married. Can you believe that? Me, Mike Burns, wanting to get married. I can't imagine my life without her anymore. She's everything to me, you know?"

  His friend smiled. "Yeah...I know."

  *****

  Deanna glanced up with a smile when her husband strode into their assigned quarters, only to have it wiped from her face at his expression. His anguish was a physical blow that struck her square in the chest.

  "What?" she gasped, leaning back against the dining room table and setting her coffee cup down behind her, afraid she'd drop it.

  Will looked helplessly at her for a moment before speaking in a quiet, broken voice.

  "Was I that bad of a father? Did I hold them up to such unreasonable expectations? Is everything that's happening with them now my fault?"

  Deanna took a step toward her disheartened husband. "What happened?"

  "I found Kyle and Lucas fighting. About Melanie, I think. I never found out for sure. I just wanted to talk to Kyle, let him know I was there for him. That I understood what he was going through. But he was so angry with me. Said I always expected him to be like Lucas. God, Deanna! He thinks I'm disappointed in him because he's not."

  She laid a hand on her husband's cheek, offering any comfort she could.

  "Will...."

  "Kyle thinks he doesn't measure up to my expectations and Lucas damn near kills himself on a daily basis trying to be what he thinks I want him to be."

  "It's not a simple as that, Will," she told him softly. "They're grown men and responsible for their own actions."

  "Influenced by the way *I* raised them. My own son thinks I don't love him."

  "Kyle knows you love him," she reassured. "He's hurt and angry and lashing out at whoever is convenient. First Lucas and now you. Don't read anymore into it."

  "He may have said the words in anger, Deanna, but he sure as hell meant them. And what about Lucas? He's become so overprotective and controlling with K'Leena since Michael was born. What does that remind you of? They are acting this way because
it's what I taught them to be!"

  "You listen to me, Will Riker," Deanna began menacingly. "You were a damn good father to those boys! Kyle's issues are with his own feelings of inadequacy rather than with your parenting. And Lucas' problems are more my fault than anyone's. I'm the one who didn't see how hard being a telepath was on him. I'm the trained therapist who didn't know her own son was begging for help all those years!"