Skeletal

by Emma Pullar

  ‘So, what’s he got?’ Cara asks, when we reach the top.

  ‘Nothing.’ I say.

  ‘But what’s wrong with him?’ she asks, irritated.

  ‘Nothing.’ I repeat.

  31

  Ruinous

  When we reach Central Side, Bunce leads us down an alley and we relish the cool shade of the towering Morb apartments. Cara leans back against the wall and turns her attention to the ripe pear, taking a large bite. Bunce leans over me, one hand on the wall and with the other he gently brushes the back of his fingers down my cheek. His eyes shine happiness into my soul. He leans in and our lips meet. He kisses me tenderly, like we’re lovers about to link forever. I kiss him back, softly, gentle. He’s happy, I can feel it radiating off him, brighter than the sun. I wind my arms around his neck and stroke the back of his head. I forget the world. I forget everything, until Cara gasps beside us and the pear drops to the ground.

  ‘What in Skel Hell?’

  We pull apart and I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

  ‘I guess we got carried away,’ Bunce says, smiling.

  ‘Got carried away?’ Cara shouts, eyes big as saucers. ‘I don’t, I can’t … I ’ave no words. No words!’ She turns on her heel and storms off.

  ‘Cara!’ I shout.

  ‘Stay away from me, Sky. You fuckin’ sicko!’ she yells, as she breaks into a run, footsteps echoing into the distance.

  ‘Sky, let her go,’ Bunce says, taking my arm. I snatch it away.

  ‘You don’t understand, do you?’

  ‘Understand what?’

  ‘Even if by some miracle Central let us live, even if they allow us to be together, that’s the kind of reaction we’re going to get, day in day out, and worse. Do you think people are going to accept us?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘No! Would your family accept you linking with a Skel?’

  Bunce sighs.

  ‘What shall we do then, eh? Isn’t this what we wanted? What’s done is done.’

  I wring my hands.

  ‘Let’s take it one step at a time. Being cured is a big enough bombshell without letting on that we …’ I stop, I can’t think of a good word. I don’t want to say, “are lovers” or “want to be linked” because I’m still unsure of my feelings.

  ‘One step at a time sounds good to me.’

  Bunce takes my hand and kisses it.

  ‘Do you feel any different?’ I ask. ‘I mean … I know you feel better but how does it feel to be cured?’

  Bunce tugs at his baggy shirt, and hikes up his trousers.

  ‘I feel strong. Invigorated,’ he says, clenching his fists. ‘Like I could take on every guard in the city single handed.’

  I smile.

  ‘This isn’t going to be easy.’

  ‘Nothing worth fighting for ever is.’

  I stare at Bunce’s slender face, cheeks no longer round and boyish, his eyes look more defined, his nose seems thinner. He’s handsome. I feel more attracted to this face. Hell! Am I that superficial? I am. I want to kiss him again. Rip his clothes off. Bunce stares back at me.

  ‘Do you think I’ll lose any more weight?’

  ‘Dunno,’ I say, and I don’t know.

  ‘I don’t want to get thin and weak.’

  I narrow my eyes.

  ‘Like me, you mean?’

  Bunce’s eyes widen.

  ‘No, I mean I don’t want to go too far the other way and get sick again. You’re strong and beautiful. You would be, no matter what.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I say, but I don’t mean it. I mean, you jerk! Men are all the same. Me strong, you weak. Bunce is as bad as the rest of them.

  ‘I mean it, Sky,’ he grabs my hands. ‘Scrawny, chubby, dark skin, light, scars, chipped teeth, whatever. It’s not about what you see. True beauty is how someone makes you feel when you’re around them.’

  ‘Yeah right, that’s not how things work, Bunce.’

  ‘It is for me,’ he says stepping closer. ‘Beauty flows from within, no matter what face you’re given.’

  I kiss his cheek and pull him by the hand to walk at my pace. He drags his feet until we are moving so slowly a snake would overtake us. I’m not used to being talked to the way he talks to me. It makes me uncomfortable. I change the subject.

  ‘I’m going to my Cube.’ I say, trying to ignore the fact Bunce has swept my hair aside. ‘Get a change of clothes.’ Kisses trail down my neck and I melt into Bunce’s arms. ‘You can wear some of my grandfather’s old clothes for now.’

  Bunce pulls away and frowns at me.

  ‘They aren’t old-man clothes!’ I say, rolling my eyes. ‘Though we’re not fashion victims, like you lot.’

  ‘I didn’t mean to offend you,’ Bunce says, hands caressing my shoulders.

  ‘It’s fine, it takes a lot more than a frown to offend me,’ I take his hand. ‘Come on.’

  We slip through an alley that separates the slums from the park and head out onto the street. We walk in the direction of my cube: Park Side, Road Four, Cube Block H, C-1. The city is a system of grids, like living on the circuit-board that powers the train riding over the top. Skels know the grid so well they need not use their eyes to find their way. They don’t even glance up as they scurry about, hurrying to fulfil their duties.

  Bunce and I walk close to one another, so no one can see our laced fingers. The misplaced euphoric feeling doesn’t last; it abates when the sun is smothered by grey cloud. The trees shudder, leaves trembling in the wind. ‘There’s a storm coming …’ The wind whispers. I know what’s coming and no amount of Bunce’s love can stop it. A never-ending hurricane is on its way, a maelstrom we created which could destroy everything, including us.

  The cure is both a blessing and a curse. If Bunce and I go home to his family, we won’t be greeted with open arms. What will Central do when they find out? What will Clover do? I think of all the people who will lose their High-Host privileges, all the lives this will change for the worse. If I’m honest with myself, I know I’m as good as dead. By curing Bunce, my choices haven’t changed, unless Bunce agrees to cure others. He stares at me, eyes brimming over with love. He won’t agree.

  ‘Are you going to cure others?’ I ask, sheepishly.

  ‘Huh?’

  Bunce holds his jeans up with one hand, to keep them from falling down. He looks like a boy playing dress-up in his father’s clothes. It seems more possible in my mind that his clothes have grown, rather than his body shrinking. I double back to stand beside him. The wind picks up around us.

  ‘Your classmates,’ I say loudly. ‘If they want it, will you cure them?’

  ‘Skyla, I think we’ve established I’m not gay.’

  ‘I meant the girls.’

  ‘No,’ Bunce says firmly, walking away. I jog to catch up.

  ‘But we agreed when we left the complex that ...’

  Bunce cuts in.

  ‘We didn’t agree that you should drink the cure,’

  ‘I was forced.’ I cross my arms and purse my lips. Infuriating!

  ‘I’m not going to have this conversation with you, Sky.’

  ‘Think of what you’re saying.’ I stress.

  ‘In my shoes, would you do it?’ he asks.

  I don’t even have to think about it. I would do it. Fuck a few Morbs, or die horribly once Central catches me? No contest.

  ‘Other people will want to be cured too.’ I try my best to explain things to Bunce in a way he’ll understand. ‘Bins created the cure for Kally. Shouldn’t she be able to live her dream? Especially, after her grandfather gave his life for her happiness. And you heard Lyca, only you can do it.’

  ‘I won’t do it. I hate Kally!’ he says, staring straight ahead.

  ‘Someone else then, after that you can leave it to them to spread the cure.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because it’s my choice, and I choose you!’ Bunce grabs my shoulders. ‘You and you alone. I ne
ver want to be with anyone else.’

  The firmness of his voice cements his words, the wind rips through his hair, giving him a rugged look. I can’t help what I say next.

  ‘But it’s your duty.’

  Bunce scowls at me and I instantly want to take my words back.

  ‘Was it your duty to sleep with me, then? Pathetic Morb who’ll never experience sex!’ he rants. ‘Here’s a sympathy fuck!’ Bunce turns his back and walks off. I run to catch up.

  ‘You know it wasn’t like that,’ I say, pushing my wind-frenzied hair from my face so I can see where I’m going.

  ‘Wasn’t it?’ he says, marching ahead with no thought as to where he’s going.

  ‘Don’t play games!’ I say.

  I’m annoyed he thinks I would have sex with someone because I feel sorry for them. I have more respect for myself than that. Healing society is different to having sex with people because you feel sorry for them. If that were true I’d have slept with half the city by now.

  ‘You’re the one playing games!’ he says, hiking up his jeans which keep slipping down. ‘Not sure if Crow will ever come back for you so you’ll settle for me until you know for sure.’

  ‘Now you’re being idiotic.’

  ‘Am I? What would happen if Crow suddenly appeared to rescue you like he always does?’

  ‘I’m not some helpless damsel in distress. For your information, I’ve helped Kian out of a whole heap of shit in the past. That’s what friends do, help each other. And I don’t care where he is or what he does. I don’t care what you do, either,’ I say, but I do care. I lied to Bunce, twice. I turn my back on him. ‘I’m going.’

  ‘It’s not your cube anymore. They gave it away, you heard Cara.’

  We walk along, arguing. All the while, the storm builds, spurred on by our raised voices. Rain spits down on us.

  ‘I’m going to get my stuff?’ I say.

  A rumble tears through the clouds above.

  ‘They probably burned it.’

  Flash of lightning.

  ‘Thanks for that.’

  The sky grows darker.

  ‘Be realistic, why would they keep it?’

  The next roar of thunder is closer.

  ‘Why would they burn it? I just want to go home, all right?’ I shout.

  I stand, hands on hips and drops of rain patter onto my cheeks.

  ‘Neither of us has a home anymore!’ Bunce yells.

  ‘I don’t accept that.’

  I shake my head but I know it’s true and the truth hurts.

  ‘Then accept this,’ Bunce gazes into my eyes. ‘I don’t care how you feel about anyone else, it’s how I feel about you that matters. You will, always and forever, have a home in my heart.’

  Again, I find myself lost for words. Shocked at how sure he is of his feelings, even more shocked that I find myself wanting a home in his heart. I blink the raindrops from my eyelashes.

  ‘Forever?’ I whisper.

  Bunce takes my hand back and weaves his fingers with mine.

  ‘Forever,’ he whispers back.

  I squeeze his hand. I’m not waiting for Crow like he says. Maybe Bunce is my forever. I guess we could live in Tinny’s old hideout, but the guards are probably monitoring that by now. Or we could go find the ingredient in the desert, which is what I was going to do in the first place. The flaw with that idea is that Bins is dead. Who will make the cure now? I wouldn’t know where to start. I idly shove my hand into my pocket and feel a sharp plastic edge, wait … the info-card. I bet it holds the formula for making more serum. I mean, what else could it be?

  We run through the lashing rain and when we arrive at my cube, I stare at my front door longingly. No guards, no ruinous, no one around. Overhead, the grey clouds have multiplied, swallowed the sun and the blue sky. The rain grows heavier.

  ‘Why isn’t anyone guarding my cube?’ I say to Bunce.

  ‘It’s not your cube anymore, that’s why,’ Bunce replies, ‘a sane Skel wouldn’t come back to a cube that’s no longer theirs.’

  I roll my eyes and slip inside, Bunce follows close behind me. The air inside is clogged with pungent smells but at least we’re dry. Bunce shakes the wet from his hair like a drenched rat would from its fur. I wrinkle my nose, the Skel who’s taken up residence here must not have emptied the bucket for a few nights. Gross! I scan the tiny square space. Nothing much has changed. I want to lie on my bed, go to sleep and forget the world, but Bunce is right, it isn’t my bed anymore or my home. I walk a few steps and yank open the wardrobe door. My clothes are crumpled up at the bottom, I kneel down and rummage around, some of my grandfather’s stuff is still here, I fling a pair of black pants at Bunce and he hurries to put them on. Clothes pushed out of the way, I lean into the wardrobe and feel round the edges for the loose panel. My fingernails scrape the wood, a piece flips up and a dark hole appears.

  I reach inside and remove a small wooden box from the dust and cobwebs. It holds my keepsakes. I thought about taking the box to the complex, but didn’t because I deluded myself into thinking it was all a mistake. I wasn’t really selected and they’d realise I was the wrong girl once I arrived and send me back home.

  I push back the lid and slide the smooth orange pebble and red ribbon to one side, treasures I’d found as a child. A glint of gold peeks out and I pinch my finger over it and pull out the necklace given to me by my grandfather before he died – the real treasure. I hold it up and admire the shiny pendant. It spins, catching on the fork lighting flashing through the window, golden spectrums dancing over my palm below it. I’ve never worn the necklace for fear of it being stolen, lost, or confiscated. The pendant is a solid gold coin, something that used to be called money.

  My grandfather tried to explain it to me once. He said people worshipped money and that my pendant was “old” money. It didn’t occur to me to ask what new money might be. He said money often came in the form of numbered paper and people would fight over it. I don’t know why anyone would worship paper that isn’t filled with words. During the land wars, people worshipped the sun. Praying it would give them enough energy to heat and light their homes, that it would stay strong during the winter months. My grandfather explained that before people realised they could harness the sun’s rays efficiently, they used to dig down into the ground to release gas, sunlight trapped in rocks. The drillers would sell it to people at high prices and that’s how the war began, when every inch of land was filled up and the planet sucked dry, and the seas too high, that’s when nations turned on each other, fighting over land in order to create their own food reserves and renewable energy. No one can own land but those people back then didn’t understand that. None of us own any part of Gale City. Central controls it but no one owns it.

  I fasten the necklace around my neck and shut the box, placing it back beneath the dusty panel.

  ‘Where’d you get that?’

  My grandfather’s trousers fit Bunce, tight across his thighs but better than the baggy ones he was wearing.

  ‘My grandfather gave it to me.’

  ‘I thought Skels didn’t like possessions,’ he says.

  ‘Oh, we like them but they aren’t available to us,’ I say, admiring the gold around my neck. ‘Anyway, this is special, not some junk you might buy at a Morb store.’

  ‘We don’t value junk.’ Bunce says hotly. ‘We’re not that different. You act like the Morbihan are aliens.’

  Aliens. I smile. They are Martians but then I guess all colonists are, me included. Bunce offers me his hand. I grab it and he pulls me onto my feet. I cup Bunce’s less round, more angular face. He touches his nose and forehead to mine. The front door swings open and crashes into the wall. Startled, my heart skips a beat and I cling to Bunce. The outline of a tall, dark figure is cut out against the grey outside.

  ‘Don’t cha’ know the difference between kissing someone and killing them?’

  My heart sinks. Sib. I reach into my pocket and thread my fingers into the fo
ur loops of my knuckle-knife.

  Before I can blink, two strapping men covered in tattoos enter the cube and take a hold of Bunce.

  ‘Hey!’ I shout and grab at Bunce’s arm, but it’s no use, they’ve come to repay the debt after he inadvertently caused Dutch’s death.

  ‘Let go of me.’ Bunce struggles, the men hold his arms tighter.

  ‘Nice place you got here.’ Sib mocks.

  My eyes lock on to her as she steps into the room. Shadow lifts from her face to reveal a twisted smirk and cold, green stare surrounded by long dreadlocks. She moves forwards until she’s in my personal space.

  ‘You lied to me.’ Her breath is stale. I swallow my fear and hold her stare.

  ‘And?’ I say boldly, but I don’t feel bold.

  Unlike the guard at the complex, I don’t think I can take Sib and I’m concerned about the burly men restraining Bunce.

  ‘And?’ Sib says, thick lips spreading into a toothless grin. ‘That’s why I did what I did.’

  I stare into her tattooed eyes, wishing looks could kill.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ I ask, confused.

  Bunce struggles in the corner of the room, but there’s no getting away. Sib’s lackeys hold him to the spot with little effort.

  ‘Repaid your debt with interest,’ she beams.

  My body feels as if it’s been injected with icy water. Bunce is still alive. What did she do? Then I realise. Kareen. She killed Tess’s mum.

  ‘Kareen. You murdered her,’ I say.

  ‘Yes,’ Sib says, walking around me like a wolf circling its prey. ‘But the genius was in framing your little friend.’ My face twists in disbelief. Sib’s softens. ‘Oh, don’t worry, I pumped that little princess so full of drugs, she wouldn’t have felt a thing on that operating table. If they took a knife to her quickly, that is.’

  The laugh that follows chills me to the bone. Sib took Tess. She gave her to the dodgy guards at Rock Vault. I shake with rage. Thunder rolls over the top of the cube block, loud, like it’s cracked the sky. I clench my fists.

  ‘You bitch!’ I yell over the roaring rain, which pelts the window like a spray of bullets.