Scavenge (Smoldering #1.5)

by Tiffany Aleman

  Table of Contents

  Scavenge

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  This book goes out to all the military families that have missed someone on the holidays. You’re the heroes standing behind the uniform.

  This novella should not be read as a standalone. I highly recommend reading Smoldering beforehand. I should forewarn you that this novella takes place right after Riley deploys to Afghanistan, which forces him and Kelsey to spend their first Christmas apart.

  Copyright © 2014 Tiffany Aleman

  Cover design by © Lori Hall-Underwood

  Book formatting by Crystal Spears-Stickels

  Edited by Katie Mac

  All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any manner without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and for review purposes.

  This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any resemblances to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

  “I really can’t believe you’re doing this,” Jen huffs behind me, her arms loaded with one of my boxes.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I glance at her and can’t help the smile that creeps onto my face. As I flip through my keys to find the one given to me only last month, a melancholy feeling settles on me.

  A week after Riley left, I moved some of my stuff into his place but decided to stay at Jen’s a little longer. I wasn’t sure I could handle being surrounded by all his all of right after he left. It would have been too hard. But, now I’m ready.

  On one hand, I’m thrilled to move into Riley’s and make it our house. On the other, a pang of sadness sweeps through me because he should be here with me. We should be moving my boxes in together. We should be able to argue over mundane things like how my toiletries now clutter the counter in the bathroom or how he doesn’t rinse all the hair out of the sink after he shaves. We should have the chance to make the memories of me yelling at him about how he doesn’t separate the whites from the darks, and him laughing at me about how it’s not that big of a deal. But in reality, he’s not here and that’s just something I have to accept. In hindsight, I’m thankful for Jen and I love her, but she’s not Riley.

  “Don’t worry. I still have my key to your place. You’re not going to get rid of me that easily,” I joke as I unlock the door.

  Memories assault me from every angle when I push the door open. Riley's scent envelops me and I can’t stop the tears from welling up in the corners of my eyes. I take a shuddering breath as I look around this shell of a house that holds so many recollections. The couch sits in the exact same spot where we declared our love for one another, and where our relationship met its demise for a short period of time. Walking further into the house, I look over to the kitchen where we cooked dinner the night before he deployed. A ghost of his silhouette stands next to the stove, and I swear I can still see how his eyes took me in as I peeled my shirt open for him. How it fell from my shoulders and slid down my arms, slowly, seductively, before falling into a puddle at my feet. I can see the smoldering look in his blue irises as I stripped for him, offering him what I had never offered to anyone else before. Me. All of me.

  Arms wrap around my shoulders and I turn to look at Jen. Her concerned eyes meet mine and I turn into her embrace. My head falls to her shoulder and the unwelcome tears wash down my cheeks. Tears fall for the time that Riley and I missed because of our stupid breakup. Tears fall because everything in this house reminds me of him, of us. Tears fall because now that we’re together again, we’re still apart. And not because of our own issues, but because of a war that’s been going on way too long.

  “Shh… It’s okay, Kels,” she soothes, resting her head on mine.

  “I know. I just miss him so much,” I whisper through hiccups as I hug her back.

  “You know, you don’t have to do this if it’s going to be too hard.”

  I nod. “I know I don’t, but I want to. This is his life, Jen. Deployments. Trainings. He’s it for me.” My head lifts off her shoulder. “I have to do this. I need to be able to handle being away from him and still come home and be surrounded by his things.” I offer her a sad smile and gingerly, she reaches up and wipes my tears away.

  “All right then,” she says before dropping her arms from around me. “Now stop crying, put on your big girl panties, and let’s get you unpacked.” Jen looks at me with sympathy shining in her eyes. She squeezes my hand because she understands how hard this is for me. I glance at the box that is now by her feet. Leaning down, I pick it up and walk over to set it on the dining table.

  I chuckle at her comment. “Big girl panties. Really?” I ask as I look at her from over my shoulder.

  “Yeah. For a moment, I thought I needed to go to Publix and pick you up a package of Depends.”

  “Well, it’s nice to know that you’re watching out for me.” I grin.

  “Of course. What do you think best friends are for?” She smirks before sticking out her tongue.

  ♥

  My back hits the couch as I let out a deep breath. I look to Jen and clink my bottle with hers. “Thanks for helping me move,” I offer before taking a sip of my Miller Lite.

  “Anytime. But I will say my ass is not going to like you for a few days,” she grumbles as she squirms on the cushion. “Why in the hell did you have to move into a house with so many stairs?”

  “What, you don’t like it?” I laugh at her as she adjusts on the couch.

  Her eyes squint and her forehead scrunches from her movements. “Oh, I like the house, just not the damn stairs.” She groans as she tries to get comfortable.

  “Your place has stairs,” I counter.

  “Yeah, only one set.”

  We sit in silence for a while, both of us looking around to see more boxes piled next to where I sit, some in the kitchen, and a couple stacked next to the bookshelves.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m kind of glad you moved out.” Jen’s voice is quiet, soft, and I lean toward her to hear her better. She picks at the label on her beer bottle, her eyes downcast, and I can’t help but wonder what made her say that.

  “Why?”

  “After everything you’ve been through,” she shrugs, “with your parents, Todd, I wasn’t sure you’d ever really get back out there again.” She looks up at me with a soft smile on her face. “You’re happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

  I nod before taking another sip of my beer. “I know,” I whisper.

  A part of me is sad I never received my parents’ acceptance. They’re still my parents. I love them, just in a different way. No matter what I do, I’ll never be enough for them. I accepted that almost three years ago, and I’m okay with the outcome. Sometimes you just have to accept the cards you’re handed, and when the dealer offers you a chance to trade them out, you take the deal. I traded my parents and what would have been a fake marriage for my happiness and in the end, I gained a full house. I have Riley, his family, and Jen. I’m happy, but most of all, I’m surrounded by people who love me f
or me. A ringing sound pulls me from my thoughts so I lean over to grab my phone off the end table.

  A smile engulfs my face as I rush to sweep my finger across the screen to accept the incoming video call. “Hey, babe,” I answer, excited to hear his voice, see his face.

  “Are you all moved in?” Riley asks, with a smile to match my own.

  I stare at his handsome face, committing his features to memory. He leans a little more towards the camera, and I can’t help but wish I could touch him, run my hands across what looks to be day old stubble on his strong jaw, kiss his soft, full lips. He’s been gone almost a month, but it feels like a lifetime.

  “Yeah.” I push an icon on my phone and flip the camera around so he can see all the boxes littering the living room and kitchen. I push it again so I can see his face. “Jen helped me.”

  “Did she complain the whole time?” he asks in jest, and a burst of laughter escapes me.

  “I’m right here, asshole,” Jen admonishes as she leans over my shoulder to look at him. “And no, I didn’t complain the whole time.”

  “Oh. Hey, Jen.” Riley laughs. “Thanks for helping Kels move.”

  “Uh huh.” She waves her hand in the air. “I only have one question for you. Why in the hell did you get a house with so many damn stairs?”

  “Are you still hung up on that?” I roll my eyes, chuckling.

  “Yes,” she says, her eyes going big. “My ass is seriously going to hurt tomorrow.”

  “What is she talking about?” Riley interjects.

  “Nothing.” I sigh. “She’ll be fine.” I give Jen a pointed look. “You’ll be fine,” I stress. “Now, tell me about your day,” I say, turning my attention back to Riley.

  “There’s not much to tell. I woke up, worked out, ate some breakfast, and now I’m calling you before I have to go out on a mission later tonight.” He shrugs.

  “Well, don’t go into detail or anything,” I joke as a grin tugs up the corners of my lips. “Before I forget, I sent you a box the other day, but I’m not sure you’ll get it in time for Christmas.”

  “Okay. I’ll be on the lookout for it.” Riley goes quiet for a second. “I miss you,” he says, and his soft voice washes over me.

  “And on that note…” Jen states loudly. She stands and walks into the kitchen to throw away her beer bottle before collecting her purse off the bar. “I’m gonna go. You know, let you two talk, and everything. Call me tomorrow.”

  “Bye, Jen, and thanks,” Riley shouts into the camera and I smile at him.

  “See ya, Riley. Take care,” she yells before shutting the door behind her.

  I get off the couch to lock the front door. “Now, where were we?” I ask, walking into the kitchen to grab another beer.

  “I was telling you how much I miss you, and we only have a little over eight months left to go.”

  “Eight months. Right.” I nod. “I miss you, too. More than you can imagine.”

  Riley shakes his head back and forth, and I see the internal debate warring within him. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he sighs. “The deployment, I mean. I used to live for this shit.”

  My eyebrows dip in confusion as I lean back against the bar and give him my undivided attention. “What do you mean used to?” I ask.

  “I don’t know how to explain it. I’m just… this is why I never got involved with anyone. This has been my dream for so long.” He rakes a hand through his short hair. I want to console him, but I’m not sure how, when he doesn’t even seem to know what it is he wants to say. “But now my dream has changed.” Riley pinches the bridge of his nose and his eyebrows dip down in confusion.

  I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. “Okay…”

  He shakes his head and lets out a frustrated sigh. “This is coming out all wrong. Being in the Army has always been my dream. But here lately, my dream consists of you, with my ring on your finger, my babies growing inside of you, my future consisting of only you and the family we’ll create. The rest,” he waves his hand around his temporary home, “is a blur.”

  “I’m sorry.” For what, I don’t know.

  Am I sorry he sees the same image I see when I close my eyes at night? No. Am I sorry he no longer considers his career his dream? Yes.

  “See? I’m not sorry, babe. I love my job and everything it entails, but I love you more.” The corners of his lips lift in the sexy grin I love so much. “I want the new dream.”

  Tears prick the corners of my eyes, and I have to swallow over the lump of emotion lodged in my throat. “Me too.”

  My eyes flutter open and the morning sun shining in my and Riley’s room blinds me. For a moment, I lay here, soaking in the rays that beam down onto my face. As I heave a deep breath, Riley’s scent wraps around me, and for the first time since he walked away from me through those hangar doors, I feel like he’s here with me, and it brings a smile to my face. It’s comforting and saddening at the same time, because I know when I turn my head to look at his side of the bed, all I’ll see is crumpled sheets and all I’ll feel is cold linen.

  I need to unpack. If I turn my thoughts in a different direction, I can make it through this. I need to get out of bed, use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and make some coffee. A loud sigh escapes and I roll my eyes. I berate myself for acting ridiculous. I am not this pathetic, weak woman. I never have been. Okay, well maybe once. But I’ve survived worse, a lot worse. Then again, I’ve never loved anyone the way I love Riley either.

  After I get out of bed, I go downstairs and make a cup of joe. Coffee in hand, I climb the stairs, my aching muscles reminding me of yesterday’s move. Placing the mug on the dresser, I throw my hair into a ponytail and look at all the boxes I have to unpack. “I can’t believe how much stuff I really have,” I say to the empty room.

  When I open the first drawer and see it full of Riley’s rumpled t-shirts, all I can think is how in the hell did he get it shut. Better yet, how did I get it open? I shake my head and toss them onto the bed to re-fold. My eyes flicker to a torn piece of paper as it drops out of the pile and floats to the floor.

  “What the hell?”

  After a moment’s hesitation, I pick it up and contemplate opening it. I do not deny the fact that this could be some girl’s number. We were separated for three months before we decided to give our relationship another go. Do I think Riley would leave it there on purpose? No. Would it bother me if it is another woman’s number? I’m not sure. On some level, it would, because, well, damn it, he’s mine. At the same time, I can rationalize that Riley and I are together now. We’re a team, and I’m the one he asked to move in with him. No one else, just me. I stare at the paper, folded and a little wrinkled, and curiosity gets the better of me.

  Kels,

  I know this is a hard time for you. It is for me, too. It’s our first Christmas together, yet we’re spending it apart. I know you’re probably thinking, ‘how in the hell did he know that I’d find this note?’ Well, to be honest, I didn’t. I was hoping you’d move in as soon as you left the hangar, but of course, you didn’t. I had a little help from your sidekick, Jen, though. She may be a pain in my ass, but she loves you and really does want to see you happy.

  Now, I hope you didn’t think that a trip to the spa was all I was going to give you for Christmas. Since there're only five days left before the holiday, you’re only getting five notes. I’ve asked Jen to write them and place them sporadically throughout the house. So look past her chicken scratch. You will have to follow the directions that will lead you to your real gift.

  On the rack in the closet in our room sits an old shoebox. Go and open it. Remember, I love you, and I’ll be talking to you tonight.

  Yours,

  Riley

  I sprint across the room to the closet. An orange and white Nike box sits on a shelf, nestled between other boxes. Pushing up to the tips of my toes, I pull it down. Excitement courses through my veins. With shaky han
ds, I lift the lid and laugh. Tears well up in my eyes and a smile takes over my face.

  In the box are seashells we collected the first time we went to the beach together. Some are smooth to the touch while others are rough and coarse with ripples. Some are peppered with spots while others are all one color. A few of them have chips that leave how they came ashore to the imagination. But what catches my attention are the words scribbled in black Sharpie on them. Beautiful, funny, loving, soul mate, classy. When I’ve pulled each shell out of the box, I find another note. My breath catches as I unfold the paper and read.

  Babe,

  I bet that smile I love so much is lighting up your face. I know I’m not the most romantic man in the world and you women crave that shit, but I do keep some things that mean the most to me, like these shells we collected the very first time we went to the beach. The words on the shells are just a few of the things I love about you. So when you’re feeling alone, look at these shells and remember a time that makes you happy.