The Shadowglass

by Rin Chupeco

  “Assisting Odalia?” I demanded.

  “We seek the same thing you do, witch. When the mountains fall and we reclaim the forbidden fruit, his Highness, King Aadil—may the heavens forever bless his name—shall hold the key to immortality and rule the eons. Kance, that fool prince of an insipid king, seeks to deny us. We will prevail and crush his army. Already you are too late. We have taken the mountains. Soon, we will take the harvest.”

  “And what does Druj have to do with all this?”

  “Druj is with us. Druj counsels the king. Druj learned of my skill in the Dark and brought the runes out of me.” The man bared his teeth. “You will not stop us. My life is but a small grain in the sands of a fate you cannot hope to overturn. Drycht will rise as it once had, and there is no stopping the tide.”

  The next blow that came was not from Lord Stefan’s hand, but from mine. My fist slammed into the side of his head; the chair he was strapped to wobbled, then overturned. I held his head against the ground with as much force as I could manage.

  “If you ever harm Kance,” I said coldly, “I will kill you slowly, and you will relive that nightmare in your head over and over until I snuff out your life as easily as a candle’s flame. Your suffering will last a hundred thousand sunsets.” I strengthened the wards, ensuring that not even a meditation rune could cross the barrier. “Take him away and do what you want to him. I have all the information I need.”

  “Remind me never to anger the good asha,” Lord Stefan said as I stalked away.

  “You haven’t looked at me since this morning,” Kalen observed as he caught up to me.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, my head down.

  “Was it because of last night?”

  Of course it was about last night! I had drunkenly announced my ardent love for Kalen to anyone who would listen, then pledged to exchange heartsglass while also threatening everyone at the same time. And that was right after a fight about returning to Kion. My cheeks colored. I’d asked him to marry me! “No,” I mumbled.

  Kalen stared straight ahead. “When the worst of this is over and we find the culprits responsible, I wouldn’t mind.”

  “Mind what?”

  “Exchanging heartsglass.” Then he strode away, leaving me stunned.

  By the time I caught up with Kalen, he was with Likh and Khalad in the now-empty great hall. Likh was bent over a cup of tea, breathing in the aroma. He looked as bad as I felt, though I suspected he was worse off. He had refused to relinquish the runic wards in light of recent news. The Heartforger had taken off his spectacles, and his eyes were bloodshot.

  “The Drychta thinks the First Harvest is in Mithra’s Wall,” I announced, and both turned to me. “Aadil’s army managed to sneak past the southern kingdoms, and they now occupy the range. Kance’s army is there, trying to head them off. We must help them. From what the spy says, it seems Aadil is well aware of the shadowglass spell, and that Druj has allied himself with them.”

  “I thought Lord Garindor said that the First Harvest was in the Ring of Worship?” Khalad asked.

  “He said he thinks it’s there. But if Druj thinks it’s at Mithra’s Wall, we can’t risk not investigating.”

  Likh started to rise, then flinched when a ray of sunlight from a nearby window glanced across his face and sat back down. “Right now?” he asked weakly.

  “We’re leaving, but you aren’t. Don’t argue with me on this, Likh. It’s too risky for you, and you know it. There’ll be Faceless there, and I have no doubt Druj will be in those mountains. If he’s anything like Aenah or Usij, he’ll find some way around the wards.”

  “Okay,” the asha said meekly.

  I raised my eyebrow. “Really? You’re not going to fight me on this?”

  “I’d be fairly useless, wouldn’t I? It’s not like I can use any spells at this point, and I haven’t quite gotten the fighting part of my training perfected yet.” Likh took a sip of his tea and shuddered. “I’m so occupied with trying not to throw up that I don’t have much room in me to protest. I want to die,” he moaned.

  “Is tea the best solution?”

  “It’s Althy’s concoction that we brought with us,” Khalad said shortly, then softened his tone. “Drink up, Likh, and I’ll make you a fresh batch.”

  “It tastes disgusting,” Likh mumbled, but drank obediently.

  “I want you here with him,” Kalen told his cousin. “With Likh under the wards, you’re the most qualified to seek out other blighted here in Yadosha.”

  “I take it you’re off to join Kance’s fight?”

  “The Yadoshans are also interested in coming to his aid. They’re not very happy about being fooled. But Tea and I will be faster on the azi. If Kance is facing off against the Faceless, then time’s of the essence. And if anything happens here, we’ll only be a dragon’s flight away.” He glanced at me, and I nodded. “Stefan is sending word to Istera and Tresea as well. They have no love lost for the Drychta. As soon as we hear word of what the Yadoshans intend to do, we’ll be leaving.”

  “Good luck and get back safely. And send my regards to my brother.”

  “It might be a good idea to address some other issues while you’re here in Thanh,” Kalen advised gently.

  Khalad looked back at Likh, who rested his head on the table. “I suppose you’re right.” He picked up the empty teacup. “I’ll refill this.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Kalen said.

  “You okay?” I asked Likh once they were gone.

  The boy’s head bobbed, face still buried in his arms. “I am never ever going to drink again.”

  “Is now a good time to bring up Khalad?”

  “You’re an evil person, Tea,” he accused.

  “So I’ve been told.”

  Likh jerked up. “Oh… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “I know what you meant.” I’d been so close to forgetting about Daisy, about Fox. I forced down my own melancholy, stifling a sudden spasm of grief. “Does he know now?”

  “He does.” Likh’s face was miserable. “I…I blurted it out in the heat of anger. He just stared at me like I’d grown another head. He had no idea. He hadn’t thought about me that way. That’s what made me want to drink and forget last night. That’s why I was flirting with your friends. I wanted to feel, for one brief second, how it would be if I were what I looked like, instead of what I really am. I know that’s no excuse…”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  He looked at me in amazement. “Sorry for what?”

  “The rest of this wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to be accepted as an asha and be an amazing dancer and star in the darashi oyun, without all these other challenges.”

  “No one forced me to become an asha. I wanted it. I wanted it so bad that it was obvious to you. Even when I was a zivar shopkeeper’s assistant with a talent for weaves and a head full of dreams.” Likh smiled. “I thought about quitting, but if I did, it would only justify what others thought about me, that I didn’t deserve to be asha. There were some bad days, but there were a lot of good days too, and I won’t trade any of those for the world.”

  He looked down at his hands. “Maybe I need to understand myself first, you know? So I can figure out what I’d like to change about me after that.”

  I hugged him. “You are far wiser than I will ever be, Likh. Whatever you do, I’ll support you. But we must get the Blight purged from your system first.”

  “Lady Tea, Lady Likh.” Lord Aden entered the hall with Lords Knox and Balfour. The big man was especially pale, and not from the Mireth Light; nearly escaping a terrible fate tended to do that, even to the bravest fighters. He also stank of his own runic wards. “I understand that I have you to thank for my life.”

  “It was I who imperiled it in the first place,” I said, rising to my f
eet. As Kalen had predicted, I couldn’t quite meet their eyes after my show last night. “If Aadil hadn’t seen the azi, you all might have been spared.”

  Lord Knox chuckled. “How red you are, Lady Tea! What’s spoken in our cups remains in our cups, milady. We’ve been down that road many times before.”

  “I don’t trust that shite bastard—begging your pardon—of not blighting us, with or without your daeva,” Lord Aden continued. “The first minister and the others are drawing up plans to mobilize our army and join Odalia. It would take a three days’ ride to Mithra’s Wall. There’s no hurry at the moment, he said—King Kance’s army’s expected to arrive around the same time too.” He looked downcast. “I’d been hoping I could still join up, but Stefan isn’t seeing things my way.”

  “You’ve been blighted, and you still want to fight?”

  “Besserly says as long as you don’t eat compromised food, the Blight’ll fade and you’ll be back to normal, right? These wards don’t make me feel any different. Like a hidden shield on me, right? Wouldn’t that mean I’ve got added protection? I mean, I can fish my own way and brew my own hops, and I can still hold a sword. What other problem ought I have if I go with the rest of the men?”

  “Oh dear,” I said.

  Lord Knox guffawed. “You must forgive him, Lady Tea. It’s the first battle he’ll be missing since that wrangle with that Tresean trawler at Montvaisin a year ago, on account of him being seasick. Stefan’s sending you over to Westmarchen Tower at the Finger, Aden, to keep a close eye out on any other strange ships coming in. The gods willing, you’ll have your share of action there.”

  Aden sighed.

  “I would like to apologize as well,” Likh said shamefacedly. “I misled you and your friends last night, Sir Knox. You were led to believe that I was…that I was a lady. Likh…in Odalia, Likh is a boy’s name. I joined the Willows out of a genuine sincerity to be an asha…but I shouldn’t have withheld this from any of you. Please forgive me.” He closed his eyes.

  How many times had he confessed this in Kion, I thought, only to be met with derision and disgust? I felt terrible, not having known before.

  All three Yadoshans stared incredulously at the asha before Knox and Aden threw their heads back in laughter. Balfour, on the other hand, looked stricken.

  “Poor Bally here’s smitten with you!” Aden explained in between chortles, forgetting his own problem. “He was all doled out, asking Besserly questions about what he needed to be your patron and worrying how he’d go about it without causing you offense! We’ve traveled all the kingdoms, Lady Likh. And sure, there’s some right bastards, but we ain’t as narrow-minded as some of our kinsmen. No harm—well, except for poor Balfour’s broken heart here.”

  “There’s a waiting period after becoming an asha before Likh can accept such offers, even if he were willing,” I told the man gently, “and he hasn’t quite finished his training yet.”

  “Would…would the rates be different if he ain’t a girl?” Balfour asked, almost mournfully, and his fellows roared. The asha in question was already beet red, mouth open as he stared at the contrite Yadoshan. Khalad looked horrified. He stared at Balfour—I was pleased to observe—with almost the same look Likh had when Lord Cyran had taken Khalad’s hand back in Istera.

  “Yadoshans,” Kalen said again, shaking his head.

  • • •

  Preliminary reports told us, as Lord Aden confirmed, that Kance’s army had yet to arrive at Mithra’s Wall but was expected to in three days. The Yadoshan army had already moved out to add to their numbers, itching to get to the fighting before the Odalians could. At Kalen’s insistence, I reluctantly agreed to spend the night in Thanh instead of setting out immediately.

  “Azi or not, it’s suicidal to face down a Drychta army and a Faceless lurking within their ranks without rest,” he reminded me. “We’ll get there long before Stefan’s soldiers, even if you stay the next two nights. Let’s not head into a potential battle before conserving our strength.”

  I’d fallen asleep quickly after dinner, after another round of Delving to ensure that there were no other traitors in our midst, but woke up around midnight, trembling. There were no visions or nightmares this time—I had not experienced those since leaving Odalia.

  This time it was different. I had a strange feeling of fear and discomfort, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen…and that I would be powerless to prevent it.

  I stole quietly out of bed, so as not to disturb Kalen, and hesitated before the window, looking up at the moon. Slowly, I reached for the azi and felt its gentle presence reach out for mine. It was soaring with no particular destination in mind, enjoying the wind billowing underneath its wings, the fresh, cool air against its three heads.

  That’s what true freedom looks like, I thought enviously. Nothing but endless sky before you, as far as you dare.

  I retreated slightly. Despite my promise never to make contact with Fox again—for the fear that he would be accused of being an accessory to my actions—I stepped out, reaching across the miles between us. The door separating us that I had so carefully built in my mind, the painstaking seals I had placed to keep myself out, crumbled easily at my touch.

  I missed Fox. I missed Mykaela too, and Althy and Inessa and Shadi—even Zoya and Parmina—but it was Fox’s absence that grieved me. His was the voice that provided comfort and companionship during my long years of training, and I had never been apart from him this long. This might have been an exile of my own making, but knowing what I had to do was different from remembering what I was missing. I only want to know if he’s all right, I promised myself, and believed in my own delusion.

  Fox was no longer in prison, and the relief that took hold of me knew no bounds. He was in the royal chambers, standing before an open window and looking out into the city, while Princess Inessa slept nearby. It was good to see that he had retained favor with Empress Alyx. His thoughts were somber, his mood bleak.

  Leave, I told myself. You should leave. I didn’t.

  There was a faint rustle, and Inessa’s sleepy voice broke through the darkness. “Come to bed, Fox. I’m cold.”

  Fox turned away from the window. “Kance has left Odalia,” he said quietly.

  “I was there when Mother broke the news to us, my love, remember? Right before you saved us from my blighted maids.”

  Blighted maids? Visions rose in my head unbidden, as Fox gave in to his memories. Horribly transformed women with spider legs and horns gunned for Inessa and the empress, my brother fighting them off.

  “If Tea knows, she’ll go after him.”

  Inessa lifted her head. “You haven’t talked about your sister since she left,” the princess said gently, and my heart twisted.

  “I—sometimes I feel her in my head, and I don’t know if it’s my mind playing tricks or if she’s really there. I do my best to push her out, but she hovers like a ghost, haunting me. There is a wall between us, a wall she built, and both Mykkie and Althy tell me I must leave it that way. If I don’t, the elder asha will believe I’m still in contact with her, no matter what Mykkie and the other asha offer for evidence.”

  “If they refuse to believe you no matter what you do, why don’t you reach out to her?”

  My brother was silent.

  “Do you really believe that she killed Daisy?”

  “I saw her, Inessa.” The confession sounded like it had been torn from his throat. “I was in her head when she did it. I’ve been in her head when she was controlled by a Faceless, and this was different. She was in control. She may claim not to remember, but no one was in possession of her thoughts when she killed our sister.” His voice hardened. “It’s her black heartsglass. I know it. Killing Aenah tainted her. The more she takes in the Dark, the more uncontrollable she becomes. I don’t want to see her hurt anyone else, Inessa, even if it is un
intentionally. I don’t—I don’t want Mykkie or anyone else to have to kill her.”

  “I am not going to lose either of you, Fox.”

  “I don’t know that you have a choice.” He took her in his arms. “It might be better for you to give me up. My presence is enough to cost you your reputation. Some people already see me as a traitor. You should not endure whispers for consorting with one.”

  “Mykaela says to be patient, and I trust her.” She kissed him. “Whatever happens, I will not leave you. And if you have any faith in me, then you will do the same.”

  “I will do everything in my power to stay by your side. But not at the cost of your life or your honor, even if I have to slay my own sister to protect them.” Then he lifted his head, startled. Before his lips could form my name, I retreated, weeping, to the other side of the door. The seals I added were more formidable, enforced by a stronger will than I had at the last undertaking. He will be safer without me in his head, I thought as I built. He will be safe.

  But all I could focus on were his words. Even if I have to slay my own sister.

  He was right. I could not blame him. It might come down to that in the end.

  By the time Kalen found me, my tears had dried and I was more pensive than melancholic. “Why is it,” I asked him with a rueful smile, “that you have the uncanny ability to wake when I need you, though I do my best to be silent?”

  He tapped his heartsglass. Despite the cold, he wore no shirt, and my heart quickened at the sight. “It’s almost instinct to close my eyes and know where you are.”

  “Do you know what’s strange? Mykkie said something similar not too long ago. Like she could feel Polaire still, because they’d shared heartsglass.”

  “Can’t sleep?”

  “Couldn’t stay asleep.” I looked up at the stars. “We can’t run away, Kalen,” I said softly. “I can’t sit by while Druj and the Drychta attempt to create darksglass. Without us, they could force Khalad to create lightsglass for them. And if they find the First Harvest, then it will only be a matter of time before they combine the two to make shadowglass. Once we’ve found a solution to that, we can leave. I’ll go with you anywhere.”