The Shadowglass

by Rin Chupeco

  I tried to will in the Dark, tried to wrap it around me as I always could before, direct it with all the love inside of me.

  “Rise up.”

  I could no longer feel the darkness. I could no longer touch the runes. My chest felt bare without the weight of my heartsglass. Wasn’t that what I wanted? I thought, and hysterical mirth bubbled from my lips, desperate for an outlet. Didn’t you want normalcy, to be free from the burdens of the Dark?

  “Rise. Rise. Rise! Rise!” I pounded the ground with fury. “Rise! You promised me! You promised you would crawl out of your grave! You promised me, and I…and I—”

  The bones of other skeletons watched me silently, and the waves crashed against the shore.

  I spent two nights by his grave, unable to move as the sun turned into moonlight into day. By the third sunrise, I had lost all sense of self. Perhaps the elder asha expected this when they abandoned me here. Perhaps they knew that the most fitting punishment was to die by my own hand.

  Let me prove them right for once.

  I waded out into the cold deep. The tide had arrived, and soon the waters had risen to my chest.

  It would be so easy. To immerse myself in the quiet, to close my eyes, to let out one final breath.

  It would be so easy to die.

  It would have been easier to have never known the Dark. It would have been easier if Mykkie had never found me, if she had left me to live and die in Knightscross, never the wiser so that I could never be the fool.

  Life without the Willows. Life without being an asha. Life without Polaire or Mykaela or Likh or Kance or Khalad…

  Life without ever having known Kalen…

  I surfaced abruptly, gasping for air, expelling salt water from my lungs. I staggered back toward the shore and fell to my knees before Kalen’s grave, sobbing harder.

  I had to live. I had to live for Fox. He was all I had left.

  But when I opened my eyes, I saw a vision.

  I saw Kalen, alive and well, standing before me, holding a light so bright and lovely. He smiled and extended his other hand toward me, eyes full of love. I had my heartsglass once more, the silver having given way to black. But instead of the dark and matted luster I had feared, it was as bright as an ebony night filled with pearly stars. It was beautiful.

  “Are you scared?” he asked me gently, and I laughed. Once upon a time, my sister Lily had promised me a prince.

  “Never when I’m with you,” I whispered to the fading vision, as it gave way to black sands and the roar of the surf.

  I should not have had that vision. My heartsglass was now locked away by the elder asha to prevent me from touching magic. So what did this mean?

  I felt a warmth against my breast, a familiar weight. I looked down.

  Hovering above my chest, small but growing in size and form, was the beginnings of a heartsglass, bright and black.

  • • •

  There was a cave along the Sea of Skulls, small and cool, hollowed from heavy stone. I stood by the entrance and watched as the figure approached. His face was wrapped in a heavy scarf to keep out the sun and shield his face from view, but I knew him by the way he rolled his shoulders and leaned forward to squint.

  “You’re late,” I said softly as he neared.

  Slowly, Khalad pulled back the head covering. “How did you know?” His eyes drifted to where my half-finished heartsglass glowed in the glass case I had compelled a passing merchant to sell to me. “I thought… The elders—”

  “My strength is not up to par yet. I can scry upon those who wander close to the beach, but the Dark grows in me every day. How is Likh?”

  Khalad’s eyes looked tired. “She hasn’t woken up. Not since the elders brought us back. I… Nothing I did could wake her.”

  “Is that why you’re here?”

  He seemed taken aback by my quiet, gentle tone. Had he imagined he’d find a madwoman lurking along the Sea of Skulls, haunting her lover’s tomb like a forgotten ghost? “Yes and no. I was worried about you.”

  “Do they know where I am?” Does Fox know where I am? was what I meant, and he understood.

  He shook his head. “No one but the elders. They knew well enough to swear me to secrecy, in exchange for Likh’s treatment. They know I never break my oaths, and I know they could not afford to spare me, now that Master is gone.”

  I murmured my sympathies.

  He continued. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to come. The only reason I knew you were alive was because of Fox. He believes that I don’t know where you are. I said nothing because of my oath. I…I told no one about Altaecia either. No one’s seen the oracle, but people think she’s ill. I said nothing about her as well. I couldn’t… I knew I had to talk to you first.”

  “You made the right choice. Druj might have given up her disguise as the oracle, but she is still dangerous.”

  “I’m not even certain there isn’t a spy on my back tailing me. My leaving Kion would make the elders suspicious.”

  “They have someone. I turned him away at the borders, sent an illusion of you down to Amarai for him to chase.”

  He stared. “You’ve gotten stronger.”

  “Black heartsglass takes in more of the Dark, or so some Gorvekai say,” I said.

  His gaze traveled to my regenerating heartsglass again. “How?”

  I smiled brightly, bitterly. “Aenah knew something the elders didn’t. Black heartsglass will always come back to you, she told me once. That is why the Faceless prized it above all. No matter what spells they cast, my heartsglass will always come back to me. It has been two months, and perhaps it will require another two before I take back all that is rightfully mine.”

  Aenah told me it was acts of violence that turned one heart’s black. What she failed to elaborate on was that violence against me would have the same result. I should have known—hadn’t I seen Aenah’s grief over her dead child and her burning city, watched that instant when her own heart had succumbed to black? Hadn’t Druj shared a similar story of loss?

  “What do you intend to do, Tea?”

  “What do you want me to do, Khalad? Isn’t that why you’ve traveled all this way? You would not have left Likh’s side if you didn’t believe her situation was hopeless. Where do you plan to go?”

  The Heartforger hung his head. “Daanoris, to start. Master kept many books there with notes on heartsglass. There might be something I could find for Likh.”

  “And you chose to pay me a courtesy call along the way?”

  “I was worried, Tea!”

  I smiled sadly. The time for worry had passed. “I know you, Khalad. I may not have all my heartsglass yet, but I can read yours. There’s something you want from me.”

  The Heartforger paused and reached into his rucksack. He pulled out a familiar pouch, and all seven bezoars spilled into my hands.

  “I’m glad there are still things I can hide from you.” He smiled grimly. “I left Kion for good. The elders thought Likh would keep me there and out of trouble. Instead, I snuck into their study like we had all those months ago and took back the bezoars they stole. I couldn’t find your heartsglass—no one but Hestia seems to know where it is.”

  I burst into laughter, and Khalad looked startled. “Probably buried somewhere so they never have to look at it again. Why are you giving these to me?”

  “Because I am going to help you. Druj is still out there. You can still complete shadowglass if you want to.”

  “Stranger’s Peak rejected me—”

  “There is no rule about taking the test a second time. As I recall, Agnarr himself invited you to return. The final test—Druj said it was for love. Was it about Kalen?”

  I nodded, my gaze sweeping, as it often did, to the small, makeshift cairn I had fashioned over Kalen’s grave.

  “I want to know if there�
�s anything in Master’s notes that will help me save Likh, but even I know the chances of a cure are small. The only way I can think to lift her curse is to rid the world of magic like Druj and the Gorvekai wanted.” He clenched his fist. “It’s a selfish desire, I know. But if that’s what you want as well, then I’ll help you. I’ll forge whatever you need, whatever you want. Just please—” His voice cracked. “If you love Likh, then help me save her.”

  The bezoars glittered in my hands, and my black, half-finished heartsglass pulsed in answer. “Do they ask for me?”

  Khalad nodded. “Fox was—is—frantic. He’s in Yadosha searching for you. He’s being watched closely, but I don’t think the elders believe he’s in contact with you.”

  He paused. “Do you—do you want me to tell Fox where you are?”

  I shook my head. He would not believe me about the oracle or Altaecia. Not like this. “No. He will learn soon enough. Thank you for keeping my location a secret. You’ve placed yourself at great risk for me.”

  “Do you mean to stay here forever, Tea?”

  “On the contrary.” I lifted my hand and traced a rune in the air. The ground beneath us shuddered, and several of the ancient skeletons that slumbered nearby moved.

  “Go to Daanoris, and see what help your Master’s notes reveal,” I said. “I have my own trials to complete.”

  • • •

  I knelt on falling snow before the entrance to Stranger’s Peak. Lord Agnarr of the Gorvekai stood before me. His face was wooden and expressionless, but I saw sympathy in his gaze. “You are Little Tears’s salvation, and ours,” he said. “You have passed our trials as no other asha has done before you. I will teach you the secrets of shadowglass, to unmake the magic of the world. Do you accept, Tea of the Embers?”

  A new vision swam through my mind. I saw all seven daeva bowing to me, with Kalen, smiling and alive, my hand in his, while I stood surrounded by light. You were right, Lily, my heartsglass wept. A prince on my arm, surrounded by silver. You were right.

  “Are you ready, love?” the Kalen of my vision asked again.

  I stood, and darkness swirled. There was no darkrot in me, only purpose. “Always,” I said.

  “Do you think to stay long, milord?” the lady asked me, smiling brightly.

  Representatives of the seven kingdoms had traveled far and wide to Ankyo, to celebrate the marriage between Princess Inessa and her royal consort, General Fox Pahlavi. I was still unused to the dazzling displays of courtiers and ornate coaches as noble guests and emissaries clustered around the palace entrance, offering well wishes to Kion officials. Conscious of my simpler garb, I excused myself and retreated to the nearly empty royal gardens, seeking a few minutes’ respite. The gardens were open to those curious enough to explore, though the fanfare at the castle gates proved more popular. I could sing before a crowd without fear, but to mingle with the nobility as one of them was distressing.

  Without thinking, I sought out the twin statues at the center of the carefully manicured garden. It had been completed only a month before, though a few elder asha still protested its inclusion on palace grounds. But General Fox had insisted, and Princess Inessa seconded his wish. She was the reason, she had argued, for Fox returning to her against all odds, even after magic had ebbed away from the lands. The bone witch—no, Lady Tea—was right. The loss of the runes would not stop the tide of politics, but they no longer had the poisonous bite they once did when they came armed with spells.

  I liked the monument. Even the best sculptors could not completely copy her true likeness, but it was a beautiful attempt. In it, I could see the familiar contours of her lovely face, her black hair whipping behind her, frozen in time by metal and bronze. The rendering could not accurately portray her flashing, dark eyes, alive with anger or grief or warmth or whichever mood took her, but no likeness could. Her lover stood silently beside her, clad in black, with his fingers wrapped around hers. He gazed down at her, and it softened the inexorability of his countenance.

  A girl stood at the foot of both statues, gazing earnestly up at them. She was still dressed in an asha’s hua, though it was rapidly growing out of fashion in the wake of the runebinders’ waning influence; still, it suited her well.

  “I wish I could have said good-bye to them,” she mourned. “Khalad says they were happy in the end, and that’s all I could’ve ever hoped for. But is it selfish of me to wish for more?”

  She was a miracle, they had told me. On the day Lady Tea and Lord Kalen died, she had woken from her months-long sleep, disoriented but healthy, no longer blighted. When the news from Shadi first reached us, Lord Khalad had broken down in King Kance’s arms and wept like a young child.

  I looked up at the Lady Tea’s statue and felt my own eyes fill. “It’s never wrong to wish for more happiness,” I said hoarsely.

  She knelt and pressed a chaste kiss against Lady Tea’s foot. “We miss you every day. Wherever you two wander, I hope you are at peace, as we are.”

  “Likh?” Lord Khalad idled in the garden, King Kance by his side. “Are you keeping His Highness from Inessa and Fox? They’ve been searching for him.”

  “Acting regent for Prince Jakova,” I corrected him. My distant cousin would make a better ruler for Drycht. My time with the asha made me realize I had neither the patience nor the aptitude for politics. “And I arrived here of my own volition but found Lady Likh ahead of me.”

  “I wanted to pay my respects,” the beautiful girl said.

  Shadows crossed both brothers’ faces. “But of course,” King Kance assented, smiling sadly at the statues.

  “Of course,” Lord Fox repeated, arriving behind them. There were no more heartsglass left, but emotions were easy to read on his face nowadays: wistfulness, sadness, pride, love. “Inessa is going to kill me if we delay the ceremony any longer, and I would like the wedding over and done with before I lose more of my sanity.”

  Lord Khalad laughed and linked arms with Lady Likh. “The princess’ll kill you if she hears you now.”

  The friends moved away, heading toward Ladies Shadi and Zoya, who were about to enter the castle with Councilor Ludvig and Lord Rahim waiting for them by the entrance. General Pahlavi stayed. There was a faint cut on his chin, barely noticeable.

  “Shaving,” he said, a wry smile. “I’m still remembering how to heal properly, like a normal man.” He looked up again at his sister. “Do you know,” he asked, “where the term ‘seven hells’ come from?”

  “Not quite,” I confessed.

  “There are no legends about seven hells. Not even an epigraph or a footnote. No one seems to know its origins, though we use it often enough as a curse. And yet Lord Garindor tells me it was a common expletive even among Vernasha’s contemporaries. I’d like to think that there are more stories than we can ever know in our own lifetimes. Perhaps there really are seven hells. Or perhaps there are seven heavens. Perhaps they’re in one of them.”

  I nodded silently, not trusting myself to speak.

  The man leaned his forehead against his sister’s likeness. “I miss you. I’m getting married today, Tea. Married! You should be here with me and Mum and Dad and the others. You—you gave me everything. You were always the stronger of us. So why am I the one standing here, with this the closest we’ll ever get to be? I’ve never been able to keep you from doing what you wanted, and I know you’re with Kalen, and I know with him you’re happiest. I didn’t show my love as well as I should’ve, but—” He swallowed. “I’ll find you again. I know it. What’s one more impossibility when it’s you?” His eyes traveled to the statue beside her.

  “Take care of her, Kalen. Because when my own time comes, you’ll be answering to me.” He leaned back and blinked away his tears.

  “Fox?” A soft voice came from behind us. Princess Inessa stood, hopeful and sad and unsure all at once.

  He smiled. “You’re not sup
posed to see me before the wedding,” he chided and kissed her.

  “I’ve never been one for custom.” She sighed against him. “If you’d like a few more minutes…”

  “No, my love. I’m ready now.”

  I assured them I would be along shortly and prayed silently for a long, more lasting peace to make up for everything they had lost.

  “It’s a nice enough piece.” I whirled around, my heartbeat quickening. But I was disappointed to find an unfamiliar face. The woman had a freckled face and bright, brown eyes, tufts of short, red hair escaping from her bonnet. The man beside her was tall, sandy haired, and darker, with green eyes. They were clad in the heavy wool that was typical among the Gorvekai.

  She nodded at the retreating royalty, curious. “Are they part of the wedding? Was the lady their friend?”

  “Yes.” It angered me sometimes, to know the extent Lord Fox and Lady Tea had gone for the kingdoms, only for very few people to recognize them or their efforts. “The wedding will be a happy affair…but they are still grieving.”

  The redhead squinted. “She’s the one to kill the magic, wasn’t she? Made things harder, even for us common folk.”

  “With runes, we took things for granted. I doubt most people would even begin to understand their sacrifice. There is more color to life than in a heartsglass. You may not understand today, but your sons and daughters might one day.”

  The woman smiled. “Well, if there are enough people like you to remember her, then she’ll always be alive, won’t she?” She looked at the monuments again, a most peculiar expression on her face. “Sons and daughters,” she echoed, “sons with my fire, daughters with my eyes. Mayhap one day, they will. A life worth dying for is a life worth living after all.” She laid a hand on her companion’s shoulder, squeezing. “Let’s go, my love.”