by Jane Peart
“It’s all right, Liddy. Don’t cry anymore. I know you just said what you thought you should. But believe me, I’m going to be so happy.”
“Oh Johanna, I’m sorry,” Liddy sobbed, her arms tightening around Johanna. “I’m just going to miss you so terribly.”
“And I will miss you! We’ve been friends so long! But you will be one of my bridesmaids, won’t you? I’d ask you to be the maid of honor, but Mama says I must have Cissy—it’s only proper for the sister of the bride and all that. But I do want you specially, so will you?”
“Of course!” Liddy said and the two girls hugged.
During the rest of the visit, the two girls discussed colors, material, and design of the bridesmaids dresses. By the time Liddy left, things had smoothed out between them. At least on the surface. But Liddy’s criticism had wounded Johanna, and she knew that somehow their friendship would never be quite the same.
One afternoon just a few days later Johanna had another visitor, an unexpected one. Bessie stuck her head in Johanna’s bedroom door and announced, “Miss Johanna, dere’s a young gemun to see you.”
“Dr. Davison?” Johanna asked excitedly, jumping up from her desk and dropping the quill pen with which she was addressing wedding invitations.
“No’m, it’s Mr. Lassiter.”
“Oh, dear!” Johanna’s exclamation was dismayed. She had not seen Burt since her engagement had become common knowledge in Hillsboro. She wasn’t looking forward to this, she thought as she gave a quick peek in her mirror, smoothed her hair, and straightened her lace collar. But there was no help for it. She had to see him, even if it turned out to be unpleasant. Burton had never made a secret of his feelings toward her, at least as much as she would allow him to. Johanna had consistently tried to avoid his getting serious. She knew it was only her efforts that had delayed his proposing. She knew Burton had planned to talk to her father as soon as he completed his year of reading law with his uncle. Well, it was all neither here nor there now, she sighed and went downstairs.
As she entered the parlor, Burton turned from where he stood staring moodily out the window. Johanna had no trouble reading his expression. His face was a mixture of disappointment and indignation.
“Johanna, how could you have done this? You hardly know the fellow. No one does!” were the first words out of his mouth.
This declaration immediately infuriated Johanna, and she lost no time indicating that to Burton.
“I know him. Dr. Murrison certainly knows him. And who are you to make such a statement?” She drew herself up, attempting to look both angry and dignified, a hard combination to achieve.
“But I love you, Johanna. I always have. I always intended to ask you to marry me! You must have known that.”
“I’m sorry, Burton. I knew you were fond of me. Why, we’ve been friends since—since we were children almost. At least from the time we went to Mrs. Clemens’s dancing classes. And we shall always be friends. But I never led you to believe there would be anything else between us. I certainly never meant to, if you somehow got that impression.”
“That’s beside the point, Johanna. We have everything to make a really good marriage. We have the same background, we grew up at the same time, we go to the same church, we know all the same people. I am my parents’ only son, and I will get all the family silver, seventeen acres of land on which to build you a beautiful house, provide you with a home, a life that you’re used to—there’s no reason at all why you wouldn’t accept my proposal.”
“The most important reason of all, Burt,” Johanna said softly. “I don’t love you—not the way a woman should love the man she marries. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. Hard as that may be for you to accept.”
Burton shook his head vigorously and went over to her.
“Johanna, you’ve got to listen to sense. This is a foolhardy thing you’re doing. Marrying a man who’s practically a stranger, going off into the mountains, to who knows what kind of a life? It’s ludicrous. Everyone agrees.”
Anger rushed up in Johanna. The idea that Burton’s family and, as he indicated, everyone in Hillsboro, were talking about her, discussing her decision, infuriated her.
“Burton, I’m sorry if you’re hurt. I’m sorry if you think I’m making some kind of terrible mistake, but there it is. And despite what you or anybody else—anybody at all—has to say about it, I’m going to marry Ross Davison, and I’m more proud and happy about that than anything I’ve ever done in my entire life.”
Burton looked crestfallen. He threw out his hands in a gesture of helplessness.
“I always knew you were stubborn, Johanna, but mark my words, what you’re doing is beyond reason.” His mouth tightened into a straight line. Then quite suddenly his expression changed into one of inconsolable regret. “I know we could have been happy, Johanna. If you’d just given me a chance…”
Johanna’s sympathetic heart softened at the sheer dismay in his face, the sadness in his voice.
“Oh Burt, if it were as easy as that. Someday you’ll understand. I mean, I genuinely hope that someday you’ll find someone and feel the way I feel about Ross. You’ll recognize it then. You’ll understand what I’m saying and know you can’t settle for anything less.”
Burton shook his head again. “How can you be sure that isn’t the way I already feel about you, Johanna?”
Johanna took a step back, moved toward the parlor door leading into the hallway. “I’m sorry, Burt, I truly am. I never meant to make you unhappy.” She knew there was really nothing else to say. She wanted him to leave, to have this painful confrontation over.
Head down, Burton crossed the room and, without looking back, walked past Johanna into the front hall. There he picked up his hat and cloak, opened the door, and went out.
Johanna sighed. It had been a difficult half hour. But what else could she have said or done? Truthfully she did hope Burton would find someone to love. Someone he could love as much as he thought he did Johanna. As much as she loved Ross.
However, much as she tried to dismiss it, Burton’s words hung like a shadow over her own happiness. He had said a great many things that she didn’t want to agree with but knew were true. Of course, the conventional wisdom was that you married someone from a similar background, someone with whom you had much in common.
She and Ross did come from different worlds, but a strong love could bridge those differences. And the one thing of which Johanna was sure was that their love was strong enough.
Burton’s emotional plea for her to reconsider her decision to marry Ross was not the only such experience Johanna had after her engagement was announced. A visit from her paternal grandmother proved even more difficult. The old lady had arrived one morning, earlier than she usually went out anywhere. Johanna was called down to the parlor to find her father’s formidable mother seated by the fireplace, one hand clutching the top of her gold-headed cane. Her small, bright eyes pierced Johanna as she entered the room.
Hardly before Johanna had kissed her withered cheek and greeted her, Melissa Shelby demanded, “What’s this I hear about you, young lady? I couldn’t believe my ears when your father came to inform me that you were to be married to someone I never heard of!”
Johanna had tried to explain that Ross was Dr. Murrison’s assistant and a doctor, but her grandmother waved her ringed hand in a dismissing gesture.
“Tut, tut. Alec Murrison, what does he know? I’ve known him since he was a lad, and never did think him too bright!” she had said sharply. “Being a doctor don’t give him insight or the ability to make a good match.” She shook her head, making the silver corkscrew curls under the black lace widow’s cap bob. “His say-so don’t make it the right thing for you.” She glanced over at Rebecca. “Neither does your mother and father’s reluctant approval of this engagement. In my day, daughters married whomever their parents picked out for them. Not just any Johnny-come-lately that happened along.”
Patiently Johanna attempted t
o placate the indignant old lady. “Grandmother, I truly believe that if you met Ross, you’d change your mind.”
The old lady’s chin had risen disdainfully. “Well, young lady, I’d planned that you would have my Georgian silver tea set when you married, but I thought you would chose someone from one of the Hillsboro families I know. What’s wrong with some young man from among your parents’ friends?” She turned to Johanna’s mother accusingly. “I just don’t understand young people these days—or their parents, for that matter. My papa ruled with an iron hand, and we all snapped to, I’ll tell you.” She tapped her cane sharply on the floor.
“We certainly intended to bring Johanna’s young man to call on you, Mama-in-law,” Rebecca had replied. “It did all come up rather unexpectedly. We thought—” She never got to finish what she might have said, because Melissa interrupted.
“Intended? What good does that do now? As I told my son, everyone knows what is paved with good intentions.”
“I’m sorry,” Rebecca had murmured, then sent Johanna an angry glance that said, Now, see what you’ve done?
Impulsively Johanna had gone over to her grandmother, knelt down in front of her, and looked up into the frowning face.
“You want me to be happy, don’t you, Grandmother? I’m sure if you allowed yourself to know Ross, you’d see how very kind and good he is and you’d see that I was making a good choice, the right choice for me. Please, may I bring him over?”
Rebecca had looked at her daughter, mentally shaking her head. There she goes, turning on the charm. And she’ll have her way. She always does! In front of her eyes, she saw her daughter wield the magic she had seen her use so often on her father.
In the end, Johanna had received a grudging invitation from Grandmother Shelby to bring Ross for tea the following Sunday afternoon.
That evening while waiting for Ross’s usual, often brief visit, Johanna wondered if all the opposition they were getting had made her more stubborn or strengthened her love. It was a tossup. The more people told her she was making a mistake, the more she dug her heels in, declaring they were wrong. Ross often seemed distracted, and she worried that he might have the same kind of doubts. They had stepped onto this path together, and there was no turning back now. The question was, Was it true love or pride? Johanna quickly dismissed these troublesome thoughts. Of course she loved Ross. Of course she wanted to marry him. When they were together, nothing like that entered her mind. She basked in the love she saw shining in his eyes. The clasp of his hand on hers, his kiss on her lips, thrilled her, and then she knew she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with him.
During the next few weeks, the Shelby household was as busy as the proverbial beehive. The local seamstress had all but moved in to work on Johanna’s gown and the bridesmaids’ dresses.
Concentrating on filling a suitable hope chest for Johanna, Rebecca often asked herself in frustration, What in the world would the girl need for a log cabin in the mountains? If Johanna were marrying a young man from Hillsboro and doing things properly, there would have been at least a six-month engagement and they would have spent a year embroidering and monogramming linens. Rebecca sighed. So much for that. What was expected of a bride in town had nothing to do with what her housekeeping requirements in Millscreek Gap might be.
Johanna did not appear at all troubled by whatever doubts others had with her marriage plans. As she basked in her love, her days passed in a kind of euphoric daze. She would soon have her heart’s desire. However, she was sensitive enough to realize that Cissy was jealous of all the attention she was getting. For weeks the wedding had been the center of activity at Holly Grove, and Cissy’s attitude had become increasingly noticeable. Johanna did not want her sister to be unhappy, even if only because her pouting face sometimes intruded on Johanna’s own happiness. She decided to do something. One night at bedtime she crossed the hall, tapped gently at the door of the bedroom Cissy shared with Elly, and entered.
Elly was already asleep. Cissy was perched on the bed, brushing her hair their mother’s required one hundred strokes. She looked up in surprise at Johanna’s entrance. Cissy neither smiled nor gave Johanna an opening. Probably brooding over some imagined slight or something that had happened that made her feel neglected, Johanna thought. However, she continued with her intended mission. She held out her hand, in which she held a folded, lace-trimmed hankie.
“Cissy, I’ll soon be gone and you’ll be the oldest one,” she began. Cissy gave her head a little “So what?” toss. Undaunted, Johanna continued, “And I want you to have something special to remember me. Here.”
Cissy’s eyes widened in surprise. “What is it?”
“Take it and see.”
Looking cautious, Cissy took it into her own hands and slowly unfolded the dainty linen handkerchief. Lying within the folds was a pair of earrings, small garnet drops surrounded by tiny pearls.
“Oh, Johanna!” Cissy exclaimed. “Thank you. I’ve always loved these.”
“I’m glad.”
“Are you sure? I mean, do you really want me to have them?”
“Yes. And you’re to wear them on my wedding day. They’ll look perfect with your dress.” Cissy’s gown was to have pink draped puffs over rose taffeta.
Impulsively Cissy hugged her. “Thank you, Johanna!”
Suddenly Johanna felt sorry for all the spats, all the spiteful words they’d carelessly flung at each other in the midst of small tiffs and little arguments. She wished she and Cissy had been closer all these years. She wished she could have loved this sister as easily as she had Elly.
For now, anyway, their particular bridge of built-up resentment and disharmony had been crossed. Johanna was satisfied she’d responded to her inner nudging to make amends with her sister. She was going on to a new, wonderful life with Ross, and she didn’t want to have any regrets about unmended fences left behind.
The aunties had combined their talents and many hours to make their niece a beautiful quilt in record time, to give as a wedding present. Although Rebecca knew what they were doing and why they were meeting more frequently, she used the explanation that her demanding duties as mother of the brideto-be prevented her from coming to the regular weekly sessions. This left her cousins free to discuss the situation regarding what was commonly agreed to be an “unsuitable” match.
“Johanna’s marriage is a terrible blow to both Rebecca and Tennant,” Hannah declared.
“If that’s so, Rebecca is holding up very well under the circumstances,” remarked Jo McMillan.
“Of course. Rebecca’s got too much pride to admit it,” snapped Hannah, bristling that her opinion would be contradicted.
“But I think Dr. Davison is a fine young man,” Honey ventured mildly.
“If he’s Johanna’s choice, what difference should it make to anyone else?” demanded Jo McMillan.
“That’s fine for you to say, Jo—you don’t have a daughter. I’m sure Rebecca hoped Johanna would do her proud and make a prestigious marriage. That Lassiter boy, for example. Or Judd Sellers,” persisted Hannah.
“‘Love laughs at locksmiths in spite of parents’ plans,’ to misquote Shakespeare. Didn’t Rebecca and Tennant try locking Johanna up, so to speak?” demanded Jo. “Wasn’t that what the trip to visit us after Christmas was all about?”
Hannah pursed her lips. “Well, even if they gave in, it has still all happened too fast. A proper engagement should last at least one year.” Hannah gave a definitive nod. “And as long as we’re quoting or misquoting, ‘Marry in haste, repent in leisure.’ That’s all I have to say.”
Honey and Jo exchanged an amused look, sharing their doubt that it was all Hannah had to say.
“It’s really not for us to judge. If Johanna is happy, what else matters? She’s the one who will suffer if it’s a mistake,” commented Bee.
“I agree, and when you come right down to it, I’ve never seen anyone look happier. Why, Johanna’s become quite beautiful in
the last few weeks, haven’t you noticed?” Josie asked.
“The two of them absolutely adore each other. He can’t keep his eyes off her. The way he looks at her…” Bee’s voice trailed off, and a dreamy expression passed over her plump, pink face. “Humph—” was all Hannah seemed to be able to say after that.
The wedding was set for a Tuesday, the first week in June. It was a far cry from the wedding Rebecca had wished for her oldest daughter. It had always been her hope to put on an elaborate wedding reception appropriate for the Shelbys’ standing in the community. But if Johanna noticed the lack of what would have been extravagant preparations had there been another type of celebration, another bridegroom, she was too blissful to care.
The ritual service would be read by Reverend Moresby, and the couple would respond standing in front of the fireplace, which was to be decorated with simple arrangements of flowers and candles. Afterward, cake and wine would be served to the company.
The morning promised as pretty a day as anyone could have wished for a June wedding. The first thing Johanna saw upon awakening was her gown, which was hanging on the pine armoire opposite her bed. It was of oyster white faille and, touched by the sunlight flooding in from the window, seemed to sparkle with iridescent light.
Elly was her first visitor. She came into Johanna’s bedroom proudly bearing a tray with hot chocolate and biscuits. “Mama said I could bring you your breakfast this morning, Johanna,” she announced. “See, I picked this myself for you.” She pointed with one chubby finger to a single white rose, drops of dew still sparkling like diamonds on its velvety petals faintly blushed with pink.
They were soon interrupted by a quick tap on the door, and Cissy came in, her hair still wrapped in paper curlers, to sit beside Elly on the foot of the bed while Johanna sipped her cocoa.
Cissy had dropped the superior air she had maintained while Johanna was in their parents’ disfavor. After Johanna’s gift, she had changed and had entered into the wedding preparations helpfully and happily. She gloried in the position of being the maid of honor as well as in knowing that once Johanna had departed, she would be the oldest daughter in the home. Privately she intended to learn by her sister’s folly and only have beaux her parents approved. In the meantime, there was no harm in being close to her sister again. In fact, down deep Cissy knew she would miss Johanna. Terribly. Throughout their childhood, Johanna had always been the lively center of fun games and merriment and mischief. Cissy realized that something sparkling and delightful would disappear out of all their lives with Johanna’s departure from their home.
