Fix You

by Carrie Elks

  “I’ve heard so much about you, Hanna.” His father spoke first. “Claire seems to think that I should make you a mix tape.”

  Richard’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. How the heck did they know this girl? She didn’t look like the sort of girl that hung around at parties like this. She was like a bundle of unkempt energy, seemingly without a vocal filter.

  “Maybe I’ll make you one.” Hanna grinned.

  “I’d like that. I don’t think I’ve ever been given a mix tape by such a beautiful young lady before.” Steven was full of smiles and natural charm. His innocent flirting made Hanna blush. Richard watched with fascination as the warm blood filled her cheeks, making her skin glow.

  Hanna turned to Claire. “Just how much Champagne has he been drinking?”

  She had the English affliction of excessive modesty, too. Richard wanted to see her flustered again. “Hanna Vincent, it’s delightful to meet you.” He took her hand and raised it to his lips, expecting a shiver, a sigh. Anything.

  Nothing. She just stared back at him, eyes dancing with amusement, as he released her hand.

  “You too, Prep Boy. I almost didn’t recognize you in black tie. It ages you.”

  Prep boy? His tux aged him? How did his father get the coy looks and blushes, while he got biting ripostes?

  “Well, Goth Girl, I apologize for bewildering you with my attire.” He drawled his words on purpose, knowing sarcasm was the lowest form of wit.

  Hanna turned to give him a grin. “It was a pleasure to meet you all. I really must go and ply the rest of your guests with pig innards stuffed in pastry.” With that she was gone, moving toward the group in the other corner of the room. Richard watched as she walked away, admiring the way her tight, black skirt clung to her round behind.

  Steven had one eyebrow raised. A speculative expression covered his handsome face as he stared back at his son. Richard said nothing, just shook his head and grinned.

  After midnight arrived and they’d sung “Auld Lang Syne,” Richard wandered out into the entrance hall and was thinking about going to bed. He spotted Hanna sitting at the top of the stairs, next to a tiny form that bore a striking resemblance to his sister.

  He and Ruby were close, despite living in separate countries. He found himself worrying about her constantly. She wasn’t a typical pink-loving, shopaholic ten-year-old. She was quirky and funny, read books like there was no tomorrow, and loved to draw whatever she laid her eyes on. She was different, and that made her a target. He knew she hated school, and being looked down on by the other girls. Even here, in London, she was treated like a pariah.

  Tiptoeing up the stairs, he decided to eavesdrop on their conversation, before alerting them to his presence. From what he could hear, Ruby was doing most of the talking. It was unusual.

  “…no, I kinda liked the Spice Girls. I hate Britney Spears, though, and Christina Aguilera sucks big ones. I mean, they were Mouseketeers for God’s sake.”

  “What’s a Mouseketeer?” Hanna’s voice was gentle and amused. Only a few steps farther and he would be able to see her face.

  “From the Mickey Mouse Show. They do stupid dances and sketches and stuff. It’s so dumb.” Ruby’s voice was low, as if she knew that she shouldn’t be out of bed talking to a stranger at the top of the marble staircase.

  “Sounds like hell on earth. Thank God you got out of America while you could.”

  Ruby giggled. “I prefer Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor is the man.”

  This time, Hanna joined in the laughter. “I can’t believe a ten-year-old likes Nine Inch Nails. I blame your father. Claire tells me he’s a huge Marilyn Manson fan.”

  “Oh. My. God. No, no, no. He keeps getting confused between Marilyn Manson and Marilyn Monroe. He’s a fan of the blonde bimbo, not the singer. He’s such an embarrassment.”

  Richard barked out a laugh in response to Ruby’s words. Steven was always trying to keep up with the latest trends, and usually made a complete ass of himself in the process. Not that he ever minded; the ability to laugh at himself was one of his father’s best attributes.

  “Is that you, Richard? Are you sneaking around again?” Ruby’s voice rang out clearly. He climbed up the last few steps, seeing his sister sitting next to Hanna, leaning on her as they talked. Hanna’s legs were propped up, her knees hugged to her chest. He was finding it hard not to stare at her calves.

  Hanna glanced up at him. “You caught us. Now are you going to be a good Prep Boy and keep our secret, or do we have to gag you?”

  Richard felt the urge to respond with a dirty comment. He bit back his retort, reminding himself that his sister was sitting nearby.

  “What are you doing up here, Squirt? I thought you didn’t want to come to the party?” He smiled at Ruby indulgently. If he’d known she wanted to join in, he would have happily escorted her.

  “I wanted to watch the midnight celebrations. I’d hate for anybody to ask me what I was doing when the new millennium arrived, only to hear that I was hiding in my bed like a social misfit.”

  Richard winced. Sometimes she was so grown up, and over-perceptive. He hated that she felt like a freak.

  “I’m sleepy now, though,” Ruby continued. “Hanna, would you take me to bed?” She held up her arms and looked like a child again.

  “Let me help you, Hanna,” he breathed, suddenly liking how her name felt on his tongue. Turning to Ruby, he scooped her up. “Your carriage awaits, milady.”

  Ruby giggled as he carried her along the hallway, putting her hand up to muffle the sound so the guests below wouldn’t notice her presence. Hanna followed closely behind them, making Richard hyper-aware of her close presence.

  Feeling docile, Ruby nuzzled her head into her big brother’s tuxedoed shoulder.

  “Thanks Richard. You make a great big brother.”

  “Better than Nathan?” Richard carried Ruby into her bedroom, twisting slightly so that he could angle her legs through the doorway.

  “Nathan isn’t a brother, he’s an animal. Every time I see him, he throws me up in the air. I’m always scared he isn’t going to catch me.” Ruby’s voice was slurred with sleep. Laying her down on the bed, he pulled the covers back over her. Hanna was standing at the door, watching them. Smiling at her, he could feel the flesh at the corners of his eyes crinkling. When she returned his smile, her plump lips curling up at the corners, he felt something in his stomach drop.

  “Well, Squirt, I can promise I’ll always be there to catch you,” Richard whispered, kissing his sister’s forehead. Ruby was already asleep, her short, soft breaths coming out in a gentle rhythm.

  “Your sister is very sweet,” Hanna said, as he met her at the door. “She’s the opposite of my evil sisters. You’re very lucky.”

  “You have sisters?”

  “Half-sisters,” she replied. “I like to remind myself we are only half-related. They’re the devil in the guise of eleven-year-old twins. They already think I’m their social inferior.”

  “They sound delightful.” He drawled his words again. Something flickered in Hanna’s eyes.

  “They’re a real treat. We can swap, if you like.” That made him smile. Her sisters sounded like just the sort of kids who would treat Ruby like crap.

  “What are you doing up here, anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be stuffing canapés down unsuspecting guests’ throats?” It was funny how light-hearted he felt, upstairs with Hanna, away from the party and the crowds.

  “I’m on a break. I have…” Hanna glanced at her watch, “fifteen minutes left.”

  “Wow, all the things you could do with those fifteen minutes. Endless possibilities.” He grinned, his body brushing against hers as he walked through the door on the way to the hall. “Would you like to come to my room?”

  “Bloody hell! You don’t waste any time do you?” Hanna exclaimed, making Richard re-examine exactly what it was he’d said.

  “Oh shit, I didn’t mean it like that.” He twisted his hands nervously.
“Seriously, it wasn’t a proposition, not that you aren’t cute or anything. What I meant was…I have a new PlayStation, a Tony Hawke game, and two controllers with our names on them. Would you like to join me?” He was flustered now, taken aback by his own obtuseness and her vocal response.

  “In that case, how could I say no? I have to warn you, though, I’m absolutely useless at computer games.”

  While Richard set up the PlayStation in his bedroom, Hanna stood next to his shelves, looking at the CDs, like she was trying to gauge what sort of music he was into. He smiled when he saw her perplexed frown. His taste was eclectic; it was hard to categorize him when his CDs ranged from Puccini to the Prodigy.

  “You have some good music. I hate to think how much your collection is worth.” She ran her fingers over the plastic spines of the CDs. Richard suppressed a smile, deciding that it would be foolish to tell her that this was just a small part of his collection, that he had thousands more CDs back in Manhattan.

  “Do you want to have the first go?” His eyes met hers. He sat down on the carpet, leaning back against the edge of his bed with his legs bent in front of him. Hanna walked over and sat down beside him, refusing the proffered controller with a small shake of her head.

  “You go first, I’ll watch and learn.”

  Three aerials, two flips and a grind later, his ‘special meter’ was up and running. He was able to execute more special moves, showing off a little for Hanna’s benefit.

  “You make it look so easy,” she complained.

  “Everything is easy when you know how. And I don’t sleep well, so I’ve had a lot of practice. It’s your turn.”

  Hanna took the controller and looked with grim determination at the TV screen. The skater moved slowly along the rail before bailing off the edge. Taking another try, her face screwed up in frustration as exactly the same thing happened again.

  “I’m so shit at this.” Her voice was thin and whiny as she stared at the screen.

  “Come here, let me help you.” Richard gestured to the floor, indicating where Hanna should sit. He was almost shocked when she crawled straight over to him, shimmying herself between his legs and leaning her back on his chest. Circling her with his arms, he put his fingers on top of hers as she held the controller and showed her which buttons to press in order to execute an aerial flip.

  The sensation of her back rubbing against his chest, and her behind wriggling against his crotch, made him instantly hard. His erection was pressing into her spine. With only two thin pieces of material between his skin and hers, he knew for sure that she could feel it.

  Hanna turned around and amusement danced across her face. She raised her brow quizzically. “Wow, you must really like this game.”

  “Don’t take it personally. I get hard-ons just from watching the National Geographic channel.”

  She burst out laughing, shaking her head. His hands were still on top of hers, and he showed her how to combine an aerial and a grind.

  “Jesus! I’ve got special points. I’m da man. I. Am. Da. Man.” Hanna squirmed in happiness at having scored something other than a bail. As she moved, her body ground against his erection, making him wince at the painful pleasure her movement caused.

  Glancing at his watch, Richard was almost relieved to see that her break was over.

  Two

  July 19th 2000

  Hanna pulled at her thin vest, the material momentarily sticking to her skin before giving way, allowing the cool air to circulate around her damp flesh. Even for July the weather was unusually hot; the heavy Goth clothing she had packed in her suitcase remained neatly folded and forgotten, like a maiden aunt at a stag party.

  Ruby Larsen lay on a hammock next to her. They were reading aloud to each other from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, having bought the new book from the small shop in town the previous day.

  “Do you think Hermione would like me if we met?” Ruby asked, passing the book over to Hanna.

  “She’d bloody love you. What’s not to love? You’re clever, you’re funny, and you’d beat the hell out of the boys in potions class.”

  They had been at the Larsen’s country cottage in the west of England for a week. Claire Larsen had asked Hanna to take on the job of being Ruby’s paid companion for the summer while she travelled back to the States to look after her sick mother. Hanna had agreed readily. It beat working at Safeway.

  “Sometimes I wish I could go to Hogwarts. It sounds so much nicer than St. Nicholas’s.” Ruby picked at the small silver sequins attached to her T-shirt.

  “There are mean people everywhere, Ruby. Just remember what an asshole Draco Malfoy was to Harry,” Hanna replied wistfully. “Anyway, it’s the school holidays. We’re not supposed to be thinking about lessons, or uniform, or homework. We should be having F.U.N.”

  “You don’t ever have to think about school again,” Ruby complained. “You’re so lucky.”

  Hanna dropped her head back on to the hammock, remembering her last day of school. After a long spring of exams, coursework, and nightmares about Jude the Obscure, it was nice to finally breathe without wondering when on earth she was going to fit in her next assignment.

  She’d been Ruby’s regular babysitter since they met at New Year. It didn’t really feel like work—although she was always grateful for the money—because the two of them always managed to have fun. Hanna enjoyed spending time with Claire and Steven as well; only eight months after their initial meeting, the Larsens already felt like her second family.

  “School days are supposed to be the best days of your life.”

  “I think we both know that that’s a lie.” Ruby kicked at Hanna’s hammock, sending her swinging wildly.

  In the distance, they heard the French doors slam. Hanna looked up to see a tall man with light-blond hair walking toward them. Shielding her eyes with her hand, she could see it was Tom McLean, waving a piece of paper in his large, tan hand.

  “Hi Tom,” Ruby shouted, falling out of her hammock and running to give him a high five. He was the grandson of Mary, their cleaner. He had been in and out of the cottage all week doing small jobs. Hanna suspected Ruby had formed a tiny crush on the blond teenager.

  “Hey, little Rube. How’re you doing?” He winked at the small girl, then looked up at Hanna, his lips unfurling into a slow, lazy grin. “You look a little too comfortable right now.”

  With that, he reached out and grabbed Hanna’s arm, catching her easily as she tumbled off the hammock. Her book crashed into the dirt below.

  “Tom!” she shouted crossly. “Put me down. And if you’ve ruined my book, you will pay with your life.” She swatted at his arm, hand meeting flesh with a resounding ‘thwack’.

  “Hey! Mind my guitar-playing arm. I haven’t insured it yet.” He looked at her with a mock-injured expression. “I only came over to invite the prettiest ladies in town to our gig tonight.”

  Hanna snatched the flyer from his hands. “It’s at a pub, Tom. I can’t take Ruby to a pub. Her parents would kill me.”

  At the same moment, Ruby piped up. “Please can we go? I’ve never seen a band play before.”

  “There’ll be loads of kids there. At least five of my nieces and nephews are coming. Come on, I’ll even treat you to a coke.” Tom put on his best puppy-dog expression.

  “With an offer like that, how can we refuse?” Hanna replied dryly, and an expression of delight formed on Ruby’s face.

  At least she’d managed to keep somebody happy.

  THE CROWDED PUB echoed to the sound of clashing chords and deep vocals. On the stage, Tom glanced up through his eyelashes and smiled directly at Hanna. She found herself biting her lip in an effort not to smile back. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the attention he was giving her. From the moment they met, Tom had flirted with her outrageously. He told her how much he loved her style. Hanna rolled her eyes in response. When he asked her out for a drink, she used Ruby as an excuse to refuse his offer. Now, surrounded by local groupi
es and a couple of A&R men from record labels, it seemed he only had eyes for her.

  “Do you want another coke?” Hanna asked.

  “Yes please. Can I have a straw, too?” Ruby’s mid-Atlantic accent sounded strangely out of place in an English country pub.

  “Of course, milady.” Hanna gave a mock curtsey, made her way up to the bar, and placed her order. When she came back, the band had moved on to a cover of Coldplay’s Yellow. Tom began to strum the soft introductory chords on his electric guitar, and leaned toward the microphone, his bright, blue eyes firmly fixed on Hanna’s.

  His voice was deep and gravelly, perfect for the song. She watched as his sandy hair fell into his eyes, and his lips curled into a smile. A few heads in the room turned to follow his intense stare, some of them looking surprised when they saw him gazing at the petite girl sitting in the corner with her young friend.

  Ruby, oblivious to his blatant staring, continued to sip at her coke.

  “This is our final song. I’d like to dedicate it to the beautiful girl with the perfect smile. This one’s for Hanna.”

  She felt her face heat up as blood flooded her cheeks. Tom flashed her a brief smile, and then winked when he noticed her blush.

  “Do you and Ruby spend a lot of time in the pub?” Hanna’s attention was drawn to the deep voice to her left. Spitting out her mouthful of cider in surprise, she looked up with horror as Richard Larsen walked toward her.

  “Richard.” Ruby jumped off the bench, nearly spilling the remnants of her Coke bottle in her haste to greet him.

  As he held his sister tightly to him, Richard’s eyes met Hanna’s.

  She stood up straight, placing her hands on her hips, and looked him over for the first time since New Year’s Eve. He was smartly dressed in tailored black pants, the sleeves of his pale blue shirt rolled up to his elbows. She tried not to look too closely at his muscled forearms; skin stretched over tight tendons, and covered with a dusting of dark brown hair.