by Carrie Elks
“Jesus.” He pulled away, eyes gleaming. “I’ve missed you so much.” He moved in again, kissing her hard until they were both breathless. She didn’t want it to end.
“I want you to take me to bed.” She was so desperate to feel him naked against her, on top of her, inside her. It was like her body was awake for the first time in years. She needed to know he felt the same way.
“Hanna…” He kept her close against him, his fingers tangled in her hair. “I want it, too. But we need to take this slowly.”
She leaned forward and kissed him again, this time taking control, easing her tongue into his mouth, grinding herself down on him until she could feel his excitement growing beneath her. He grabbed her behind, standing up and wrapping her legs around his waist, and she threw her arms around his neck, never once breaking their kiss.
“You’ve persuaded me.” He moved his lips against hers. “Fuck taking it slowly.” Striding across the living room, he headed for the door, breaking their kiss so he could look up and find the handle. As he was about to push it down, the telephone in the hall rang, the tone indicating it was the concierge calling.
“Give me a minute.” He placed her gently down, and walked over to the telephone, lifting up the handset. Hanna watched as the intense excitement melted from his features, her body already feeling the absence of his warm embrace.
“Okay, thank you.” He put the receiver back on the cradle with a clatter, running a hand through his messed-up hair as he stared at her apologetically.
“That was the front desk…my mother’s on her way up.”
Twenty Six
June 1st 2012
Richard walked forward and unlatched the lock; the muscles in his back tensing as he pulled the heavy door ajar. The light from the hallway spilled across the wooden floor, and he stepped back to let his mother through.
Caroline Maxwell entered the room wearing a pink chiffon cocktail dress, with a matching wrap draped across her shoulders. She had pulled her blonde hair back from her face with a barrette, revealing smooth features that belied her age. Though Richard had never asked, he assumed some of her yearly vacations involved interactions with scalpels and over-expensive surgeons. She certainly had enough money for it.
Whoever they were, they’d done a good job.
“What is she doing here?” Caroline gestured at Hanna with a manicured hand. Her plump lips pulled back into a scowl, though any accompanying lines were noticeably absent. “Actually, don’t bother to explain; I’ve heard it all from Olivia Vincent. She seemed delighted to tell the whole gala about my new grandson.” She glanced over at Hanna, her nose wrinkled with disdain. “I can’t believe you’re letting Hanna fool you with her white trash lies.”
Richard could feel the anger bubbling beneath his skin, and his face heating up as he stared at her angrily. She held her thin frame tall as if she was the wronged party in all of this, making him want to wring her scrawny neck and scream at her. She needed to know what he’d lost because of her lies. Her calmness only served to irritate him.
“I don’t think you want to start taking the high ground here.” He was unable to hide his bitterness. “Because you’re going to fall.”
Caroline laughed. It was a thin, fragile chuckle, which made him wince. “I have never been so embarrassed in my life.” She pulled at the diamond pendant hanging from her neck. “‘Oh, I hear you’re a grandmamma, Caroline. Didn’t you know Richard and Hanna have a child together? How awful, they’ve kept it a secret.’” Her sarcasm cut through the room like a knife through butter.
Richard reached for Hanna’s hand, not wanting her to be hidden. He wanted her next to him—needed her beside him—to show her he wasn’t ashamed of their relationship. He was proud she wanted to be his.
“Well, that’s just perfect,” Caroline sneered, staring at him as he pulled Hanna into his arms. “What the hell does she do to make you run back every time? Is she good in bed, is that what it is? Because there are people you can pay for sex…”
Hanna pulled her body from Richard, stepping forward with her hand outstretched. He watched as her open palm made contact with his mother’s face. The impact was hard enough to cause Caroline to stagger backward.
“Don’t you dare compare me to a whore,” Hanna said. Richard had to clench his hands together to stop himself from applauding. “I’d be grateful if you could keep your voice down, there’s a sleeping child in this house.”
A livid red line formed across his mother’s cheekbone. She stared at Hanna with sparks beneath her eyes, her face twisted with anger. “Are you going to let her talk to me like that? She assaulted me,” Caroline demanded of him.
“I don’t let Hanna do anything. She’s her own woman, and she’s welcome to do whatever she wants in our home.” He could feel his heartbeat elevating as it clattered against his chest. He wanted to pull Hanna against him and give her some reassurance. “But if you ever compare her to a whore again, I’ll throw you out in the street.”
Caroline shrank noticeably, her eyes starting to water. “Why are you so angry at me? I’m not the one who lied to you about a child, or suddenly walked in years later pretending it was yours.” She patted down an errant strand of hair. “Have you even had a DNA test?”
Richard glowered. “Matty is mine; I don’t need a DNA test to tell me the truth.” He glanced along the corridor, his eyes resting on the closed door to Matty’s bedroom. “I’m angry at you because the only reason Hanna didn’t tell me she was pregnant was because of your goddamned lies.” He was getting louder. He needed to get his anger under control.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Caroline’s voice was dismissive. She rubbed her cheek. “I’ve never lied to Hanna.”
“You did!” Hanna replied. She was trembling like a frightened animal beneath his embrace. “I called Richard’s cell phone and you picked up. You told me Meredith was never going to be able to walk again.”
“I think I’d remember something like that. When did you call?”
“When I found out I was pregnant. In June 2010.” Hanna replied. She wrapped her hand around Richard’s waist, looking for something to cling to.
Caroline shook her head, the tiniest of lines forming between her eyebrows. She blinked a couple of times before looking at Richard, her expression accusatory. “June 2010, wasn’t that when you told Meredith you didn’t want to marry her?”
Richard thought for a moment, letting Hanna’s hand on his waist calm him. It was hard to remember the events of two years ago, though certain dates were etched in his mind. Like the time he told Meredith he didn’t want to be with her, or when he flew to London to find Hanna had disappeared again.
His stomach turned over as a memory flashed through his mind. He could remember his mother calling him at work, telling him he had left his cell phone at home. She had been at his apartment with Meredith, helping her to pack her things. Caroline had offered to have his cell couriered into the office.
“When you spoke to Hanna, were Meredith and I already separated?” He curled his fingers into a fist, feeling the need to hit out. Every single moment of the past two years were for nothing. They’d been so close to their forever, to having everything they’d ever wanted. A few words from his mother had been enough to bring it all tumbling down. “You told her Meredith was crippled when we’d already split up?”
“I thought you’d change your mind about the separation…” Caroline whispered, her voice trailing off.
Beside him Hanna had her hand clasped firmly over her mouth, the horror of the situation making the tears run down her face. Richard wondered if she had the urge to lash out and hit something—anything—the way he did. The anger was too much; he didn’t know how to control it without exploding.
“You remember telling her Meredith was crippled?”
Caroline nodded, her body cowering away from him. He was aware he was acting like a madman; his body coiled like a snake ready to pounce. Only Hanna’s hold on hi
m was enough to anchor him to the ground, to stop him from doing something he might later regret.
“Why the hell would you do that? Do you realize Hanna was calling to tell me she was pregnant? I lost eighteen months of my son’s life because of you.”
His mother put her hand up to her chest, clutching with her aged fingers. “I didn’t know—“
“You knew enough to send Hanna packing. You knew enough to not even tell me I’d had a call on my cell. Don’t play the innocent in this, you’re guilty as hell.” His body was so tense he wanted to scream, to lash out…to do anything to let the tension go. Every moment standing in front of his mother was a reminder of what he’d so very nearly lost.
What he had lost.
“Did Meredith know about the call?” His voice dripped with acid.
Caroline shook her head, her face distraught as she stepped forward, reaching out her hand. “Richard, you don’t have to do this. We can speak to the lawyers, arrange for you to have custody. You don’t need to have Hanna living here.”
It took a moment for her words to sink into his consciousness. She wanted him to leave Hanna, and take Matty away from her. The callousness of her suggestion was the nail in the coffin of their relationship. He wanted to get her far away from his family, so she was unable to poison them the same way she’d tried with him.
He hugged Hanna tighter, burying his face in her hair for a moment, kissing the silky strands.
“We’d like you to leave now.” His voice was muffled by Hanna’s hair. He couldn’t look at his mother, or bring himself to show her out. Nausea swelled in his stomach as he recalled her final words to Hanna on the day of the terrible phone call. He felt bitterly ironic as he addressed his mother, “Don’t come back again.”
“Ever?” Caroline’s voice raised an octave. Hanna stepped back from Richard and placed a reassuring palm on his chest. She shook her head lightly, as if to tell him to hold fire. Deep down he knew she was right; he shouldn’t make snap decisions in the burning heat of his anger, but it took all the strength he had not to manhandle his mother out of the door.
“Not here. I don’t want you anywhere near my family.” Hanna gasped as he said the words. “I know I can’t avoid you at Maxwell Enterprises, but I don’t intend to let you anywhere near my private life.”
“But I’m your mother.” Caroline pulled herself up to her full height. “I deserve your respect. I can’t believe you’re choosing her over me. Stop this nonsense.”
Richard gestured at the door, shooing his hand like he was dismissing a dog. “I’m just grateful I get to choose. I’ve found choice a very scarce option in the past few years.”
Caroline gave him a final, angry glance, her thin lips pursed as she shook her head and reached for the door. As he watched her retreating back he felt nothing but relief. It was like the final block to his future had been smashed to smithereens. He allowed a small smile to tug at his mouth.
After Caroline left, Hanna seemed muted, like somebody had painted her over with a grey-wash. He wanted to steal back the moments to when he had her in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist. Things had seemed so joyful and easy; he didn’t know how to recapture that feeling.
“I think I’m going to bed. It’s been a long day.” Hanna gave him a wan smile. “Hopefully things will seem less bleak in the morning.”
He knew she was right. The moment had passed, for now, and they needed to give themselves time to let the wounds heal over. It didn’t make him feel any less disappointed, though.
“If it makes you feel any better, the worst is really over. Our parents know, and none of their reactions were unexpected.” He tried to reassure her.
“Even Steven and Claire are angry with me.”
Richard shook his head. “They’re not. They were shocked, and surprised, but I spoke with Claire today and they’re planning on visiting soon. They’re so excited to have you and Matty in their lives.”
He reached forward and cupped her cheek with his palm. Her skin was soft and damp with tears. Richard ran his thumb across her high cheekbone and pushed his fingers into her hair, pulling her toward him until her face was buried in his chest.
“I forgot to tell you, Ruby called today. She’s coming back to New York next week.” Hanna’s voice was muffled by his shirt. “She wanted to know how you felt about Tom coming with her.”
Richard laughed, his chest vibrating against her face. “Does she really want to know?”
Hanna pulled back, lifting her head to his, her eyes crinkled with amusement. “Not really. I told her to call you directly.” She ran a finger along his stubbled jaw. “You’re not going to give her a hard time are you? I think the two of them are meant for each other.”
He winced at the thought of his sister being meant for anybody. “I suppose it would give me a chance to have a frank talk with Tom,” he replied, his tone teasing.
“Poor Tom, I suppose it’s a good thing I don’t have a big brother to come and hunt you down.”
His face grew serious. “I wish you did have someone who would have hunted me down. I know Tom was on your side, and eventually he told Ruby, but an angry guy with a shotgun could have prevented so much misery.”
“By burying you underground before you even met Matty?”
Richard shook his head. “No, by looking after you and making sure I lived up to my responsibilities.”
Her hand still lingered on his face. He turned his head to kiss her fingertips, his body reacting as she stroked them along his lip. He watched through heavy lids as her mouth opened, and she pulled her full bottom lip between her teeth, worrying it in a way that sent heat straight to his groin. She plunged her thumb into his mouth, her expression leaving him in no doubt about her feelings toward him.
“You should get some sleep.” His voice was thick with need. He wanted to follow Hanna into her bedroom and drag the clothes from her body. He wanted to comfort her with every inch of his own. But he told himself to take things slowly, regardless of how desperate he was to be inside her. They had the rest of their lives to be together, he wanted to do this right.
Hanna nodded. “It’s been a long day.” She smiled wanly, her hand reaching out to stroke his handsome face. “You should get some sleep, too.”
“I need to finish up some work before I go to bed.” He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, regardless of the fatigue weighing him down. The knowledge she was only a room away was certain to keep him awake.
Richard leaned forward, brushing his lips across her soft cheek. “Sweet dreams, Hanna.” Digging his fingernails into his palms to stop himself from carrying her to his bed, he turned around and walked to the office, aware of her eyes burning a hole in his back.
He hated taking this slowly.
HANNA SLEPT FITFULLY; the covers weighing down on her body making her feel sensitive and overheated. She almost woke herself up, thrashing in the bed, perspiration beading on her chest as a rivulet ran down into her cleavage.
In her dream she could see Matty and Richard. She was standing on dry, arid ground, her feet glued to the earth as her boys ran away from her, until they were just tiny figures in the distance. She screamed at them to wait, but they didn’t hear her. She tried to run, feeling the earth crumbling beneath her bare feet, making no progress. Perpetually moving yet staying in the same place.
“No…” She started to cry, wanting to catch up with them, watching through a curtain of tears as they walked farther into the red horizon. Her legs gave way, her body crumpling into the hot, dusty ground, and she hammered her fists against it, tears dropping onto the parched earth.
“Hanna.” She heard Richard’s voice, and in her dream she saw him turn, his movements halting when he noticed her crumpled form. “Hanna, can you hear me?”
“Come back.” She was vaguely aware of her dream-like state being invaded by reality, the image of Richard and Matty fading into the fog of her consciousness.
“It’s just a bad dream, baby. Wake up.�
�� She could feel Richard’s cool palm stroking her face and she blinked, trying to open her heavy eyelids.
“Am I awake now?” She couldn’t tell reality from imagination, but she reached out to touch his hand, stilling it as he tried to calm her.
“Yes you are,” he replied. There was amusement in his voice. “Would you like some water?”
She sat up, her eyes adjusting to the half-light. Her heart was hammering against her chest. “Yes, please.” She glanced at the alarm clock; the hazy red glow of numbers telling her it was one in the morning.
“Here, take a sip.” His voice was low as he lifted the glass to her lips, his eyes dark as she swallowed the cool liquid. Hanna let the water moisten her mouth, feeling it cool her as it slipped down her throat.
“I’m sorry I woke you.”
“I haven’t been to sleep yet,” Richard admitted. “I was trying to finish up some work.
A glance at his attire told her he was speaking the truth. His cotton shirt was unbuttoned at the collar, rolled up to reveal strong forearms peppered with hair. His shirt had come untucked from his pants, hanging loosely to his hips, wrinkled from a long evening of work.
“I just went to check on Matty when I heard you call my name. I thought you must be having a good dream.” There was a smile in his voice. “Imagine my surprise when your dream turned out to be a nightmare.”
Hanna closed her eyes, trying to erase the image of her boys so far away in the distance. “You kept running away from me.” She swallowed, still tasting the arid dirt in her mouth. Richard, sensing her need, lifted the glass to her lips once again.
“I’ll never run away from you.” His voice was heavy with emotion. “That should have been enough to tell you it was a dream.”
Tears stung at Hanna’s eyes, pooling on the rims, making her vision blur. Richard reached out to stroke her hair, his fingers gentle as he caressed her neck, moving his fingers down to her bare shoulders.
