Out to Lunch

by Stacey Ballis

  “Told you so.”

  You know, that is one of your least attractive qualities, that whole “I told you so” thing.

  “Yeah? What else are my least attractive qualities?”

  Well, the dead thing isn’t terribly adorable.

  “Point taken.”

  Can I go run this event already? I have a bride all dolled up as Zoe waiting to wed her Wash.

  “Listen to you, all geeked out.”

  Occupational hazard. And totally your fault. If you hadn’t given me custody of Wayne, none of this would have happened.

  “I know! Isn’t it wonderful?”

  Yes.

  Yes it is.

  * * *

  Elliot opens my door for me and offers his hand to help me out of the car. I stand and take his arm, and we walk across the sidewalk and into the quad.

  “I still can’t picture you and Aimee in these hallowed halls,” he says. “All that ivy. Seems too staid for you guys.”

  “Well, I think we both agreed it is better to be the cool kids on a quiet campus than the fuddy-duddies at a party school.”

  “There is a certain Jenna-and-Aimee logic to that.” He laughs. We see Wayne and Noah on the other side of the quad and head over to see them. The rest of the gang is already seated, Andrea and Law, newly cohabitating and snuggled up happily. Benji and Jordan; their romance flamed out as quickly as it started and seems to have left them the best of friends. Lois and Eloise, and Eloise’s new guy, Joe, a lanky fair-haired architect who came in to buy a housewarming gift for a client, took one bite of the caramel chocolate cookie bar she offered him, and was smitten. We adore him and look forward to their eventual enormous children. Jasmin and Gene are here, and the rest of the seats are filled with a combination of students and faculty.

  Elliot takes Noah’s hand and they go to sit with the rest of the gang in the front row. Wayne looks at me.

  “Ready?” he asks me.

  “Yep,” I say, and head for the podium.

  * * *

  I will never get used to standing in front of crowds, talking about Aimee. And you all have the lovely words her husband Wayne put down in your programs. So I know I don’t have to list her accomplishments for any of you. We are here today to honor my dearest and best friend. Some of you knew her well; most of you never met her. Here is all you need to know about Aimee: She was the kindest, best friend, best person anyone could hope to know. This school was the reason we knew each other. It changed everything for both of us. So it means the world to know that Aimee will have a permanent place on this very special campus.” I turn to look at the small statue behind me. Tucked in a quiet corner of the quad, in a small nook in one of the stone buildings, a three-foot-high bronze depicting Aimee as a child of maybe three or four, sitting on a quilt, reading a book to her bedraggled and beloved bunny rabbit. Wayne found the picture of Aimee in a box of old pictures when he went to the Brands’ for Easter, and everything clicked. The innocence of childhood. The connection to literature. No boobs. No Star Wars theme. It was perfect, and once we scoped out the particular spot and made sure it was small and not an impediment to theatrical productions, I signed off on the commission.

  “I want to thank all of you for coming today, and to thank the University of Chicago for introducing me to my best friend.” I turn to Wayne, reach out for his hand. And look out into the faces of everyone I hold most dear. “Who introduced me to all of my best friends.”

  Wayne and I hug, and the dean says a few lovely words, and then our group leaves to have champagne and little tea sandwiches back at the Library.

  “It was a lovely ceremony,” Andrea says, refilling my glass with bubbles.

  “Yeah, she would have approved, I think.” I take a sip. “So how are things going here, is it different knowing it is yours?” I sold the Library to Andrea last month. It made no sense for me to hang on to it, and I know that she wanted more security for her future. She promoted Eloise to manager, and told her that when she is ready, they can talk about partnership.

  “Not so much different, just, you know, settled.” She smiles. “We certainly miss seeing you as often as we used to, so the new venture must be going well.”

  “So far so good. We’re building a client base, the events we’ve done so far have been well received, we’re fully booked for the Chicago Con, and already have an event booked for next year’s San Diego Con.”

  She grins. “Um, you mean an event for your boyfriend?”

  I blush. “And business partner.” I look over at Elliot, who has Noah on his shoulders. He catches me looking and winks.

  “His hair is SO much better.”

  Yeah, I know.

  “How’d you get him to change it?”

  I may have had WKRP in Cincinnati on the TV while I was cooking one night when he came over. He looked, pondered, lightbulb went on, and he asked me if maybe he should update his hair. The rest was history.

  “Sneaky minx. You sprang Gary Sandy on him and let him make the relevant connections like it was his idea. Evil genius.”

  I learned from the best.

  “You bet your ass.”

  “Hey, Jenny, I’m gonna get Noah back to Madison, he has school tomorrow. But we’re on for our usual Thursday meeting,” Wayne says.

  “You betcha.” I smile at him.

  “Thanks for today, I think we did it the right way.”

  “I think so too. Thanks for not letting go of the idea. You were right, it was a nice way to honor her.”

  “Well, I think we finally figured out that our ideas really can work when we both have the same goals.”

  “Yes, we certainly have.”

  And that’s the truth, Ruth.

  From Jenna’s Notebook

  Food is one of the ultimate expressions of love, and for Jenna and the people in her life, it is a central occupation. Here are some of their best and most favorite recipes!

  Aimee’s Biscuits

  SERVES 4 TO 6

  Hey, I was never much of a cook when I was alive, and haven’t gotten better since my untimely demise. But even Jenna has to agree that my biscuits? Are fluffy little nuggets of delicious that cry out for butter and jam or honey, or mustard and ham. I strongly recommend you make these with a small 1 ½ inch cutter. First off, they get the right ratio of crispy outside to soft inside, and they are easier to eat.

  2 cups flour, sifted with:

  4 teaspoons baking powder

  ½ teaspoon salt

  ½ teaspoon cream of tartar

  2 teaspoons sugar

  ½ cup vegetable shortening or leaf lard, cut into small cubes and very cold

  2⁄3 cup whole milk

  Preheat the oven to 350. Sift the dry ingredients into a large bowl. Add the cubed shortening or lard, and toss to coat. Using a pastry cutter or two butter knives, carefully cut the fat into the flour mixture until it resembles very coarse crumbs. Do not overwork; having some larger pea-sized pieces is okay. Slowly add the milk, and mix briefly until you see the last of the flour mixture become incorporated. Do not overmix.

  Flour a board and pat the dough into about ½-inch-thick slab. Using a floured 1 ½-inch to 2-inch circular cutter, cut dough into biscuits and place on a greased pan about an inch apart.

  Bake 10 to 12 minutes. Eat while still warm.

  Jenna’s Carbonara

  SERVES 1 TO 2

  You need comfort food? Look no further. This one-pot pasta meal is the perfect thing for a cozy dinner for two, or a post-breakup binge for one.

  ¼ pound pancetta, chopped finely

  2 tablespoons dry vermouth or white wine

  8 ounces linguini or spaghetti

  3 egg yolks

  ¼ cup Parmesan, grated finely, plus more for topping

  ½ tablespoon Italian parsley, chopped

  Salt and pepper

  Bring a large pot of water to a boil and salt it well. Cook pasta to al dente according to the directions on the box. Drain the pasta when done, reservi
ng about ½ cup of the pasta water to use later.

  While the pasta is cooking, in a very large skillet set over medium heat (do not use nonstick here), cook the pancetta, stirring occasionally, until the fat has rendered and the bacon is browned and crispy. With a slotted spoon, remove the pieces of bacon to a dish. Pour off the fat and reserve. Deglaze the pan with the vermouth, being sure to scrape up all the bits until they dissolve into the wine.

  Toss the pasta into the skillet. Cook over medium-high heat for a minute, tossing constantly to coat, and adding a tablespoon of the reserved pancetta fat if you like. Turn off the heat.

  In a large bowl, whisk together the egg and the Parmesan cheese. Slowly whisk in half of the pasta water. Add the contents of the bowl to the skillet off the heat, along with the bacon and chopped parsley, stirring all the time. Toss well. If too dry, add the rest of the pasta water and continue to toss until everything is well mixed. Season with salt and pepper to taste, and serve with more grated Parmesan.

  Jasmin’s Pan de Coco

  SERVES 8

  This traditional unleavened coconut bread is unusual, and very delicious.

  1 cup coconut milk

  2 tablespoons whole milk

  ½ cup unsweetened coconut flakes

  2 cups all-purpose flour, sifted with:

  ½ teaspoon salt

  ½ teaspoon baking soda

  Preheat oven to 300°F, and grease a large baking tray. Sift the flour with the salt and baking soda into a large mixing bowl. Add in the coconut milk and the regular milk and mix until combined. Oil your hands, and knead in the bowl for about 5 minutes, it will be somewhat sticky. Portion into four equal pieces, and form each into a roughly 6-inch disk on the baking sheet. Sprinkle the breads equally with the coconut flakes.

  Bake 12 to 15 minutes until a skewer comes out clean. They will still be fairly pale. Let cool. Just before serving, put pan under broiler for 2 minutes to toast and brown the tops.

  Jenna’s Jade Slaw

  SERVES 12

  Jenna developed this in her earliest days when Fourchette launched. She needed a signature slaw, and always hated gloppy mayo-based versions. This is a perfect side dish for barbeque, or any rich, hearty meal. Bright and crunchy, a great buffet item.

  1 head green cabbage shredded as finely as possible (think angel-hair pasta, not spaghetti!)

  2 heads fennel, sliced paper thin

  2 green apples, julienned fine

  1 large jicama, julienned fine

  2 hearts of celery, sliced fine

  ½ cup sliced almonds, toasted

  For the Dressing:

  ¼ cup rice wine vinegar

  2 tablespoons sugar

  1 tablespoon soy sauce

  1 tablespoon grated ginger

  ⅓ cup canola oil

  ½ teaspoon ground grains of paradise

  Pinch salt

  Mix dressing ingredients together till well emulsified. Toss veggies and apples with dressing till thoroughly coated. Let sit a minimum of 1 hour for flavors to blend, then taste for seasoning and balance, and toss with almonds just before serving.

  Jenna’s Lunch Pasta with Cauliflower, White Beans, Roasted Garlic, & Pancetta

  SERVES 4 TO 6

  Jenna knows that her best healing happens in the kitchen. This warming pasta is great for a crowd. She adapted the recipe from her pal Alana, making a vegetarian side dish heartier as a main course with pancetta and white beans. (For more of Alana’s recipes, check out Off the Menu, available from your favorite local bookseller or online retailer!)

  2 heads garlic, papery skins removed, top quarter of heads cut off and discarded

  6 tablespoons, plus 1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil

  1 head cauliflower (about 1 ½ pounds)

  Salt and ground black pepper to taste

  ¼ teaspoon sugar

  1 pound small-shaped pasta, Jenna prefers orechiette

  ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes

  2 to 3 tablespoons juice from 1 lemon

  1 tablespoon fresh parsley leaves, chopped

  2 ounces Parmesan cheese, grated (about 1 cup)

  ¼ cup chopped walnuts, toasted

  ¼ cup pancetta, cubed

  1 15-ounce can cannellini or other small white beans, drained

  Adjust oven rack to middle position, place large rimmed baking sheet on rack, and heat oven to 500 degrees.

  Cut one foot-long sheet of foil and place garlic heads, cut-side up, in center. Drizzle ½ teaspoon oil over each head and seal packet. Place packet on oven rack and roast until garlic is very tender, about 40 minutes. Open packet and set aside to cool. This can be done up to three days in advance.

  Place baking sheet in oven to heat. Trim outer leaves of cauliflower and cut into small florets, discarding the tough center stem. Place cauliflower pieces in a large bowl; toss with 2 tablespoons oil, 1 teaspoon salt, pepper to taste, and sugar.

  Remove baking sheet from oven. Carefully transfer cauliflower to hot baking sheet and spread into even layer, placing cut sides down. Return baking sheet to oven and roast until cauliflower is well-browned and tender, 20 to 25 minutes. Transfer cauliflower to cutting board. When cool enough to handle, chop into rough ½-inch pieces.

  While cauliflower roasts, sauté the pancetta in a large skillet until browned. Remove from skillet with slotted spoon and pour off all but 1 tablespoon fat. Add beans to the skillet and toss to coat with the fat, then cook over medium-high heat till warmed through. Bring 4 quarts water to boil in large pot. Salt water well, and cook pasta according to package directions, until al dente.

  Squeeze roasted garlic cloves from their skins into small bowl. Using fork, mash garlic to smooth paste, then stir in red pepper flakes and 2 tablespoons lemon juice. Slowly whisk in remaining ¼ cup oil, and stir in ½ cup cheese.

  Drain pasta, reserving 1 cup cooking water, and return pasta to pot. Add chopped cauliflower, beans, and pancetta to pasta; stir in garlic sauce, along with ¼ cup cooking water, and parsley. Adjust consistency with additional cooking water and season with salt, pepper, and additional lemon juice to taste. Serve immediately, sprinkling with remaining ½ cup cheese and toasted nuts.

  Wayne’s Favorite Cider-Brined Pork Chops

  SERVES 6

  When you only eat eleven things, they better all be good! Jenna developed this recipe especially for Wayne, and it is his favorite. You’ll like them too.

  8 tablespoons kosher salt, plus more for seasoning chops

  2 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper, plus more for seasoning chops

  4 cups apple cider, plus more as needed

  6 1 ½-inch-thick center-cut or loin-cut pork chops, bone in

  6 tablespoons grapeseed oil

  To make the brine, dissolve the salt in ½ gallon of warm water in a large bowl. Add the pepper, pour in the apple cider and mix. Drop the pork chops into the brine and add enough additional apple cider so that the chops are mostly submerged. Cover and refrigerate for at least 8 hours and up to 24.

  To prepare the chops, preheat oven to 400 degrees. Remove chops from brine and dry well with paper towels. Rub them with 2 tablespoons of the oil and season well with salt and black pepper.

  Heat the remaining oil in two oven-safe (cast iron preferably) skillets and brown the chops, three to a pan, for 4 minutes a side. Place skillets in oven for 6 to 8 minutes and then remove chops to a warm platter. Cover loosely with foil and allow them to rest for about 10 minutes.

  Lemon Chili Green Beans

  SERVES 4 TO 6

  When you are sick of the same old same old “tender crisp” steamed green beans, try these. They’re full of flavor and a bit of heat; Jenna thinks you’ll be a convert.

  1 pound French thin green beans (haricot verts) trimmed

  1 tablespoon chopped shallot

  Juice and zest of one lemon

  1 tablespoon grapeseed oil

  2 tablespoons butter, divided

  ¼ cup dry white wine

  ½ teaspoon red pep
per flakes

  1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon or parsley

  Salt and pepper to taste

  In a large sauté pan over medium-high heat, melt 1 tablespoon butter with the grapeseed oil. When it stops foaming, add the shallot and red pepper flakes, and cook until lightly browned. Add green beans and cook until they begin to get a little color. Put in the wine and lemon juice and cook until it has reduced almost completely, by which point the beans should be tender. Toss in the remaining butter and stir until it has created a sauce. Season to taste with salt and pepper and add the chopped herbs at the last minute.

  Fig Tarts with Pistachio Cream

  SERVES 4

  These simple little desserts are very elegant and special. And what Jenna made the night she and Brian first got together . . .

  1 recipe of your favorite pie dough or store-bought crust, rolled out and cut into 4 6-inch circles

  1 pint fresh figs, washed and cut into six wedges each

  4 amaretti cookies, ladyfingers, or other hard cookie, smashed to crumbs

  4 teaspoons Demerara sugar, like Sugar in the Raw

  ½ teaspoon cinnamon

  ¼ cup fig jam

  ½ cup heavy whipping cream

  1 teaspoon sugar

  1 tablespoon canned pistachio paste (I like Love’n Bake)

  Preheat oven to 400°F.

  Place the rounds of dough on a parchment-lined baking tray about 1 inch apart. Divide the cookie crumbs between the rounds and spread out, leaving about ½ inch around the outside edge. Divide the figs between the rounds, making a pretty spiral design with the wedges on top of the crumbs, again leaving about ½ inch at the edge. Fold the edges up around the figs, pinching where necessary. Mix the cinnamon and sugar. Sprinkle the tarts with the cinnamon sugar and bake until golden brown, and the dough is cooked through, about 14 to 18 minutes. Let cool on a rack.