Street that Rhymed at 3am

by Mark Timlin

  I saw Robber’s face when I disconnected. ‘Family problems?’ he said.

  I tossed the phone to him and said, ‘Tell me about it. Sometimes I think I’d be better off without one.’

  57

  ‘What are you going to do about her?’ asked Robber.

  ‘I’ll call her in the morning. She’ll come round. She always does. Or at least she always did. But she’s at a difficult age.’

  ‘Who isn’t? Listen, Sharman. Why don’t you just take all this to the authorities?’

  ‘The police? I don’t think so. They’d lock me up and throw away the key. They’d love to have me in custody for a cop killing. They wouldn’t listen to a word I said.’

  ‘I’d come with you. Explain.’

  ‘Fuck off, Jack. You don’t know any more than they do. It’s just my word against nothing.’

  ‘But I’d do it.’

  ‘What? And miss your Christmas bonus?’ I looked at the case.

  He looked at it too and shook his head. ‘The odds are bad.’

  ‘Come on, Jack. I can remember when you’d love to go in and break a few spades’ heads.’

  ‘Ah yes. But then I had the might of the Met behind me.’

  ‘I’m not giving up Tootsie,’ I said grimly. ‘That dude is mine. I don’t really care about the rest. But Tootsie and his mates are going down. Large.’

  ‘You’re crazy.’

  ‘And tired. I need some sleep, man. I feel like I haven’t closed my eyes for a week.’

  ‘OK,’ said Robber. ‘Sleep on it. That’s a good idea. We’ll talk more in the morning.’

  ‘Christmas Eve,’ I said. ‘Goodwill to all men.’

  He smiled and we got up, switched off the lights and hit the wooden hill to Bedfordshire as Judith would’ve put it when she was little. God alone knows what she calls it now.

  The bed was comfortable and the sheets were fresh and smelled of spring mornings, but I couldn’t sleep for a long time. My head was full of exploding aeroplanes and dead bodies littered about like autumn leaves in a Vauxhall tunnel.

  But eventually, as a distant clock struck four, I fell into a restless sleep.

  58

  Christmas Eve morning

  The church clock woke me again. It was still dark. I counted eight strokes. I’d been dreaming about shooting people. I didn’t know who, or if it was a dream about the past or a premonition of the future. There was a tap on the door and Nellie brought me in a cup of hot, sweet tea. It’s little kindnesses like that that make the world go round. I couldn’t remember the last time someone brought me tea in bed. Then I did. It had been Dawn. My wife. I didn’t want to think about that. The widow seemed happy. Robber must’ve paid our rent in kind. ‘Jack’s up,’ she said. ‘He’s having breakfast.’

  ‘I’ll be down directly,’ I said.

  After she’d gone I drank my tea, got up, found the bathroom, did what I could to myself without aid of a razor, got dressed in clothes that were sour to say the least, and went downstairs.

  Robber was at the dining-room table finishing his eggs and bacon. He looked up when I went in and wrinkled his nose. ‘You stink,’ he said.

  ‘So would you if you’d been wearing the same clothes for…’ I hesitated. I couldn’t remember. ‘Christ knows how long,’ I finished.

  ‘Sure,’ he said.

  Nellie stuck her head round the door. ‘Breakfast?’ she said to me.

  ‘Please.’

  ‘Egg, bacon, sausage, tomato?’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘I’ll get you some toast. Tea or coffee?’

  ‘Tea please,’ I said, and she withdrew.

  ‘Good billet,’ said Robber.

  ‘Yes,’ I agreed.

  ‘Right,’ he said, pushing his plate away. ‘What are we going to do?’

  ‘I’m going to phone Judith. Then we take a cruise round. I need to think.’

  ‘And that’s never been easy.’

  ‘Cheers, Jack,’ I said.

  The widow brought my breakfast and a fresh pot of strong tea. Robber had been out and got the Sunday papers. I wasn’t featured, but the boys from Vauxhall were. I reminded myself to get rid of the Detonics as soon as this was all over. If I survived, that was. If I didn’t, it wouldn’t matter.

  When I’d eaten, I borrowed Robber’s mobile again and called Jane’s house. She answered. ‘Nick,’ she said. ‘What the hell is going on?’

  ‘Save it, Jane,’ I replied. ‘It’s all on the news. Is Judith there?’

  ‘She’s in bed.’

  ‘Haul her out, will you? We had a ruck last night.’

  ‘You can’t get on with anyone, can you?’ she said and plonked the receiver down with a bang.

  She was back within a minute and her voice had changed. It was edged with panic as she said, ‘Nick, she’s not there!’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Her bed’s not been slept in.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Stop saying that. She’s gone.’

  ‘Jesus Christ on a crutch,’ I said. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘How the hell do I know? You spoke to her last. What did you say?’

  ‘That I might not be able to make Christmas dinner and that her present was at the flat… fuck,’ I said. ‘I bet she’s gone there to get it,’ and I cut off Jane without saying goodbye.

  59

  ‘Come on, Jack,’ I said. ‘Get your shit together. We’ve got to get out of here.’

  He got up from the table and went upstairs. When he came back he was wearing his coat, which had an unmistakable bulge under the left armpit, and was carrying his car keys. ‘I’m fit,’ he said. ‘Let’s go.’

  In the hall, we said goodbye to the widow. Robber gave her an awkward hug and said, ‘See you later, Nellie.’

  ‘Be careful, Jack,’ she replied.

  ‘Thanks for everything,’ I said and touched her hand.

  ‘You’ll be back,’ she said.

  ‘I hope so,’ and I pecked her on the cheek, and Robber and I went out into the bitter, misty morning which it seemed might turn out to be our last.

  We climbed into the Morris Traveller, which was coated with a thin layer of ice and whose inside was colder than a deep freeze. I stashed the bag of dope behind the front seats and Robber ground the starter. The motor caught on the third try and he wiped the inside of the windscreen with one hand. ‘Give it a minute to warm up,’ he said, putting on the demister which had about as much breath as a duck with asthma.

  ‘Come on, Jack,’ I said impatiently. ‘We’ve got to get rolling.’

  ‘Patience,’ he said, as the windscreen slowly cleared and he pushed in the choke and selected first gear. ‘It needs time.’

  ‘Which is one thing we don’t have,’ I said.

  Robber eased the clutch out and with a hop, skip and jump the Morris moved off.

  We headed up Knights Hill into Norwood Road and turned left at the railway bridge into my street. The car was beginning to warm up by then and the heater started to cope with the cold. ‘Cruise it, Jack,’ I said. ‘There might be someone watching the house.’

  ‘I doubt it. It’s Christmas Eve. Everyone will want to be off duty. And them’s that are on are getting ready for tonight’s punch-ups.’

  ‘I hope you’re right,’ I said. ‘But if there is someone watching and Judith’s gone there, at least she’ll be safe with them.’

  Robber let the old car drift round the side streets and I clocked every motor for copperish-looking occupants, but there were none. Once satisfied, I told him to stop three or four houses up from where I had my flat.

  He parked the car and I said, ‘You can stay here if you like.’

  ‘I’ll come with you. Who else is likely to be at home?’

  ‘No one. There’s three f
lats in the house. The big one in the middle is empty, waiting to be sold. And the girl at the bottom always goes home at Christmas to see her folks in Bolton.’

  ‘Good,’ he said. ‘At least we’ll have some privacy. Come on, let’s go.’

  We both got out of the car, opening our coats for easy access to our weapons, and walked together to the house. ‘Judith’s got a key, I take it?’ said Robber.

  I nodded as we walked across the empty forecourt to the porch. I had my key in my hand but I didn’t need it. The massive old front door was open an inch with the latch back. ‘Shit,’ I said, taking out the Detonics and cocking the hammer. ‘Jack, I don’t like this one little bit.’

  60

  Slowly, I pushed the front door open to its full extent. The hall beyond was empty. I crept in silently and Robber followed, pulling his massive Smith from under his coat as he came. I gestured for silence and led the way up the stairs. The door to the middle flat was secure and I headed towards my apartment. I flattened myself on the last flight of steps and realized something was wrong. The normally gloomy hallway was too light. I raised my head until my eyes were level with the landing above and saw why. The door to my flat had been smashed down and lay inside the living room. ‘Shit,’ I said silently and slid upwards and across the carpet. Ducking down to make a smaller target, and with the Detonics fanning the air in front of me, I peered into my flat. It was empty, as far as I could see, but someone had done a good job of trashing the place.

  ‘Shit,’ I said again, a bit louder this time as I went inside, checking the small kitchen and bathroom beyond. Empty again. ‘Come on in, Jack,’ I said. ‘The birds have flown.’

  Robber followed me inside and said, ‘You sure?’

  I nodded. ‘Not much room here to hide,’ I said. ‘Look at this fucking mess.’ Someone had been through the place like a whirlwind, and I kicked at a pile of CDs that had been scattered across the floor.

  ‘That’s not going to improve the look of the place,’ said Robber. ‘But then it’s not going to do it much harm, considering the usual state of your housekeeping.’

  ‘Judith’s been here,’ I said.

  ‘How do you know?’

  I gestured towards the bed. Bunched up on top was a sheet of Christmas wrapping. ‘Her present,’ I said. I pulled the bed away from the wall and behind it was the pair of rollerblade boots. ‘And she didn’t take them. So that means someone took her. I’d lay money on it.’

  ‘I hope you’re wrong,’ said Robber. And as if on cue, the phone, which miraculously had survived the pillage, began to ring.

  61

  I picked up the receiver. ‘Sharman?’ said a voice I didn’t recognize, although it had a faint Caribbean lilt, even on a single word.

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Where you been, man? We been looking for you.’

  ‘I’ve been around.’

  ‘Sure. Now listen up, man. You’ve got something we want, and we’ve got something you want.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Look around yourself, man. You’ve had visitors. What do you think? Don’t play games. She’s young, she’s sweet.’

  ‘You bastard.’

  ‘No bad language, man. Now we want to do a deal with you. Do as you’re told and no one gets hurt.’

  ‘Let me speak to her.’

  ‘All in good time. You were very unwise to let her wander the streets alone. It’s a bad neighbourhood.’

  ‘If you hurt her…’

  ‘No threats, man. Don’t be foolish. You got a mobile?’

  ‘No… Yeah.’

  ‘Make up your mind.’

  ‘Yes,’ I said.

  ‘Gimme the number.’

  I looked at Robber and covered the mouthpiece. ‘What’s the number of your phone? Come on, quick.’

  He reeled off the number and I repeated it to the caller. ‘Goodbye now,’ he said. ‘We’ll call you back.’

  ‘I want to…’ But he cut me off.

  I slammed down the phone. ‘Fuckers have got Judith,’ I said.

  I would’ve tried 1471, but where I live doesn’t have that service. We’ve not been digitalized and our telephone lines are still strung from wooden poles. And I ain’t joking. ‘Who was it?’ said Robber. ‘Any idea?’

  ‘Some black bastard,’ I said. ‘Could’ve been with Mr B, Darkman or Tootsie. Or anybody. I didn’t recognize the voice.’

  ‘You sure they’ve got her?’

  ‘No. But it’s a good assumption. Whoever it was knew that the place had been turned over. And knew she’d been here.’

  ‘Then we’d better start looking,’ said Robber.

  ‘They want the dope, whoever they are,’ I said.

  ‘I just bet they do.’

  ‘What do you think about that?’

  ‘We’ll do what we have to do.’

  ‘If we give it up, you’ll miss your Christmas box.’

  ‘Then we’ll try not to give it up. But, if it means getting Judith back, we’ll do it. As long as we’re sure that we do get her back.’

  I suddenly felt terribly cold. ‘We’d better,’ I said.

  ‘We will. I take it they’re going to call on the mobile?’

  I nodded.

  ‘Where do we start?’ he asked.

  ‘In alphabetical order. Mr B, I think. It was his gear in the first place.’

  ‘He’ll welcome you with open arms, then.’

  ‘I very much doubt that.’

  ‘We’ll have to see, won’t we?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Come on, let’s go.’

  ‘Wait a minute, I could use a clean shirt.’

  ‘You’re telling me.’

  I took a few seconds to find one amid the debris, took off Parker’s coat, which I dropped on the floor and slid into the shirt and my leather jacket that was on the bed with the pockets pulled inside out. I felt better for that. More ready for action. Finally, I slid the Detonics into my belt and zipped the jacket up over it. ‘Come on then, Sharman,’ said Robber. ‘Time’s a-wasting.’

  His enthusiasm depressed me. The last place I wanted to go was back to Mr B’s. I mean, talk about Daniel and the lion’s den. This beat that little story hands down.

  62

  We went back to the car and drove to Brixton. We were there in less than ten minutes. Although a lot of shops and stores were open for Christmas Eve, the streets were deserted as though Christmas Day had come twenty-four hours early. The freezing mist persisted, and I shivered even though the car’s heater was blowing warm air. It could’ve been the weather, but more likely it was the fear of what might be happening to Judith, and anger and frustration that I couldn’t help her. I flexed my fingers as if I was pointing a gun at the head of the cocksucker who had taken her. And if I had been, and they’d hurt her, I knew I’d use it. If only…

  As we drove I looked out for anyone watching us, but came up blank. Still, someone had to be or else they wouldn’t have known that Robber and I had gone to the flat. Or maybe they’d just kept trying the phone on the off chance.

  I got Robber to park three or four streets away from Mr B’s place after we drove past and eyeballed the house. It was as quiet as the grave. I left the bag of dope and my gun in the car with him. There was no point going in armed. If Mr B was holding Judith I didn’t want to start a shooting war. And if he wasn’t, there was no point anyway. If they let me out again they’d just keep it and we’d be one weapon down. And if they didn’t let me out, well, then I was dead and it wouldn’t matter. ‘I don’t know what’s going to go down,’ I said, before I got out of the Morris. ‘We didn’t part on the best of terms and I nicked his dope. At least I can use that as a bargaining tool. That is, if he doesn’t shoot first and ask questions after.’

  ‘You’re taking a big chance,’ said Robber.
r />   ‘Don’t I know it. But what else can I do? Christ knows what’s happening to Judith.’ It didn’t bear thinking about. ‘But if anything does… trust me, somehow I’ll take some of those fuckers with me.’

  ‘How long should I give you?’

  ‘What? Before you come in with six guns blazing like bloody John Wayne? Give it up, Robber. If I’m not back within an hour, you might as well flog off the drugs and forget you ever knew me. I’ll be brown bread and that’s all there is to it.’

  ‘Police?’ he asked again.

  ‘After all your experience you still have a touching faith in law and order,’ I said. ‘No. My ex-sister-in-law will have that covered. Leave it to her. Just keep that mobile phone of yours switched on. If Mr B has got Judith he isn’t likely to get in touch whilst I’m inside his house. But if someone else has her they might. Just say I’ll be around later or else all bets are off. Unless, of course, you want to swap the dope for her. How altruistic are you, Jack? How much is one little girl’s life worth to you?’

  He looked at me hard. ‘I just don’t know about you, Sharman,’ he said. ‘No wonder you never lasted in the Job.’

  ‘I don’t work well in group situations,’ I replied. ‘I’m too much of a loner.’

  ‘But you were glad enough to see me last night.’

  ‘There’s always exceptions, Jack,’ I said, and touched his arm.

  He put his hand on mine and said, ‘Good luck, son. Take it easy, eh?’

  ‘I’ll try. At least I never shot his fish.’

  ‘Do what?’

  ‘Long story. See you later, I hope.’

  And with that, I got out of the car and angled across the street in the direction of Mr B’s and whatever I’d find there.

  63

  I opened the gate to Mr B’s house, walked up the path bordered with browned out, skeletal plants waiting for spring to coat them with green, and rang the front doorbell. I only had to wait ten seconds before it was opened by Harold, and Goldie and Majesty appeared from the side of the house. I might’ve guessed there was a video monitor somewhere and they’d watched me arrive. There were no weapons visible, but I knew they were close and I lifted my arms away from my body to show that I wasn’t carrying. Harold grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me into the hall where he frisked me thoroughly. Goldie and Majesty hustled in after me and closed the door behind them. Somewhere above us I could hear The Jimi Hendrix Experience cranked up on a stereo, ‘If Six was Nine’, and it occurred to me that, if six was nine, life would be a very different experience altogether.