Deadly Satisfaction

by Trice Hickman

  “Hey, Mom!” Lauren screamed with excitement as she burst into the room. She rushed over to Charlene’s chair and wrapped her heavy arms around Charlene’s chest. She squeezed so tightly Charlene could barely breathe. “I’m home!”

  Charlene was so startled she nearly fell out of her chair. She’d been in such deep thought about her circumstances that she didn’t hear Phillip’s rental car pull up, nor did she hear him roll Lauren’s enormous suitcase against the hardwood floors.

  “Mom, are you okay?” Lauren asked.

  Charlene wanted to tell her that no, she wasn’t okay. But as she scanned Lauren from head to toe, she wanted to ask her daughter the same thing.

  Each time Charlene had seen Lauren during holidays and school breaks over the last two years, her appearance had changed, and not for the better. Lauren used to be a well-dressed, meticulous, attractive young woman who took care of herself and had pride in her appearance. Her hair had always been neatly styled, her clothes had always fit well and were appropriate for her shape, and she’d always paid close attention to her diet, exercising regularly so she could maintain a healthy weight for her medium-size frame. Lauren had also been very focused and highly driven in her approach to everything from school to her social life. Charlene had often told her to loosen up and not be so serious about things. But now, Lauren had gone in the opposite direction, and Charlene was more than a little worried.

  Charlene had begun to notice the change almost immediately. Lauren went from wearing a combination of trendy shirts, classic blouses, and flirty dresses, to sporting sweatpants and T-shirts. She’d gone from a neatly tapered pixie cut that had suited her angular face, to a dried-out, misshapen Afro that did nothing for her appearance. And her once-fit body that had comfortably carried a size eight, had ballooned to a size twenty. There was once a time when if Charlene had called Lauren to check on her, she’d have been deep in a book at the library, or studying in her off-campus apartment. But these days, no matter when Charlene called her, Lauren was hanging out with friends, or she wouldn’t pick up at all, giving Charlene no other choice than to leave a voice message and hope that she called her back within a week.

  Charlene had become so worried about the changes she’d observed that she’d asked Lauren what was wrong several times. “Baby, I know the things that have happened in our family have had an impact on you,” Charlene had told her, “but I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Please tell me, what’s going on with you?”

  Despite Charlene’s constant probing, Lauren would simply smile and tell her not to worry because everything was fine. That was another reason Charlene knew without a doubt that something was very wrong—Lauren rarely smiled or acquiesced if she felt she was being challenged about something. She was the type of young woman who stood resolute in her beliefs and serious in her demeanor.

  Now Charlene longed for those days, because Lauren had become a serious party girl, and if Charlene’s guess was right, her daughter hadn’t seen the inside of Johns Hopkins’ library in weeks.

  “You startled me,” Charlene said as she gave Lauren a kiss on her cheek. “I’m so glad you’re home, baby. Let me stand up and give you a proper hug.” Charlene’s embrace used to envelop Lauren, but now her arms barely covered less than half the surface of her daughter’s back. Lauren didn’t even smell the same. There was a time when she’d always emanated a sweet scent of some new lotion or perfume she’d be trying out. But, as Charlene inhaled, her nose was filled with the smell of onions.

  “What did you eat this morning?” Charlene asked.

  “I got a burger from Steak ’n Shake on our way from the airport. Why?”

  “Because you smell like onions. Why are you eating hamburgers this early in the morning?”

  “Restaurants start serving lunch at ten thirty, Mom. Besides I haven’t had a good burger in forever.”

  “Okay, well, you could’ve gotten a salad. The last time we talked, you said you were going to start eating more healthy.”

  Lauren let out a deep, frustrated breath and rolled her eyes. “It’s good to see you, too, Mom.”

  “Don’t get sarcastic with me, and don’t roll your eyes, young lady.”

  Lauren walked over to where her suitcase was propped against the wall and started rolling it toward the hall. “I wasn’t being sarcastic.”

  “Stop right there,” Charlene said in shock. She couldn’t believe how blatantly disrespectful Lauren was behaving. She walked over to her daughter and looked her in the eye. “Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you. What’s gotten into you?”

  “I’m fine, but it seems that you have a problem with me for some reason, because instead of being happy to see me, all you can do is find fault about what I eat.”

  “I told you I was glad you’re home when I hugged you. You’re only upset because I called you out about the way you’ve been eating. Lauren, you’re in medical school, so you’ve got to know that eating the way you’ve been doing this past year isn’t healthy.”

  Lauren put her hand on her wide hip. “Oh, I get it. You’re embarrassed because you have a fat daughter now.”

  Charlene was appalled. It was as if she was standing in front of a total stranger, trying to make sense of the irrational, defensive things coming out of the mouth that used to belong to her once logical and responsible daughter. “I’m not embarrassed, I’m concerned.”

  “Not everyone can be a size six,” Lauren said, looking at Charlene’s slim frame.

  “I didn’t say a word about your weight, because your health is more important than your size. And I’m telling you right now, you need to tone down your attitude. Like I said, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you need to change it—quickly.”

  Just then Charlene looked down the hall past Lauren to see Phillip coming in the front door pulling two large suitcases. Two travel bags also hung from each of his shoulders, and Charlene could tell they were heavy because her strapping son looked weighed down.

  “Hey, Mom,” Phillip called from down the hall. He left the luggage at the foot of the stairs and walked back to where Charlene and Lauren were standing. “How’re you feeling, Mom?”

  Charlene remembered that the last time Phillip had seen her was last night, when she’d been passed out drunk on the couch and he’d left her a note and a glass of water. She saw that he was dressed nicely, as usual, but she also suspected his outfit was what he’d worn when he’d left the house last night. She wanted to talk to him about it, but this wasn’t the time to have that conversation. “I’m a whole lot better today,” she said, then she looked at Lauren, “I think.”

  The expression on Phillip’s face told Charlene that he knew exactly what she was talking about, and that perhaps Lauren had been a little salty with him as well. Charlene looked at the pile of luggage down the hall. “Lauren, why did you bring all that luggage home for a such a short trip?”

  When Phillip folded his arms and looked at his sister with raised brows, Charlene knew the answer wasn’t going to be good. Lauren hesitated, so Charlene asked her again. “Lauren, why did you pack so many bags?”

  “Go ahead and tell her,” Phillip urged.

  Lauren lowered her voice. “I was hoping I could stay here for a while.”

  Phillip’s phone rang and temporarily distracted everyone. Charlene watched as he looked at the number, frowned, and then returned the phone to his back pocket. Charlene refocused, turning her attention back to Lauren. “What do you mean, stay here for a while?”

  Lauren glanced at Phillip with a look that let Charlene know she wanted her big brother to help her explain something that was so bad it had left her unable to speak up for herself. But Phillip shook his head as if to say she was on her own. Finally, Lauren cleared her throat and spoke. “I’m not going back to med school, so I was hoping I could stay here for a little while until I figure out what I want to do next.”

  “Wait a minute.” Charlene blinked rapidly. “When did
you suddenly make this grand decision? It had to have been this morning when you packed all this luggage and boarded your flight, because as of yesterday afternoon when I talked to you, you didn’t say anything about dropping out of school.”

  “Mom, I’m not dropping out. I withdrew, and—”

  “Withdrew!” Charlene said, raising her voice. “When did you withdraw from your classes?”

  Lauren lowered her voice to a whisper. “A few weeks ago.” “Lauren, what’s going on with you? And don’t you dare give me a sarcastic answer.”

  Lauren let out a loud sigh. “No one ever listens to me.”

  “I’m listening to you right now, but you’re not making any sense.”

  “No, Mom. I’m making perfect sense, just not to you. And that’s the problem. You and Phillip keep asking me what’s wrong with me, over and over again, but neither one of you have taken the time to listen to what I’ve been saying. I’m fine and there’s nothing wrong with me. I’ve decided to make some changes in my life, and just because you guys don’t approve of them, or understand me, it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with me.”

  “You can’t possibly believe what you’re saying,” Phillip said.

  Charlene stepped toward Lauren, folded her arms, and looked into her daughter’s eyes with a serious stare. “Are you doing drugs?”

  Lauren laughed and shook her head. “Unbelievable. Now that I’m finally taking control of my life and making decisions that are best for me, you think I’m on drugs.”

  “Baby, you graduated valedictorian from Tuskegee and you have a full . . . let me say it again . . . a full scholarship at one of the most prestigious medical schools in the country, to pursue a career you’ve dreamed about since you were a child. And now you want to throw that all away? Yeah, that’s why I asked if you’re on drugs, because you clearly don’t know what you’re doing.” Charlene shook her head with worry. “Lauren, I’m going to ask you again, what’s going on with you?”

  Lauren let out a deep, frustrated breath of air. “There you go again. You’re still not listening to me. Mom, I’m not on drugs and I’m not depressed, or whatever else you’ve made up in your mind that you think is wrong with me.”

  “Phillip,” Charlene said as she turned to her son, “did you know about this?”

  He shook his head. “She told me after I loaded her bags in the car at the airport.”

  “I know you two don’t respect my decision,” Lauren said defiantly, “but I know what’s best for me. Why can’t you guys just be supportive?”

  Phillip’s phone rang again. He quickly pulled it out and frowned for a second time when he saw the number. He hit the Ignore button to silence it before placing it back into his pocket. “Sorry about that,” he said. “Listen, sis, Mom and I love you, and we’re not gonna stand around and let you mess up your life when we can both see that something’s wrong with you.”

  “I should’ve known you two wouldn’t understand,” Lauren huffed. “Hakeem was right, I should’ve just stayed with him in our apartment in Maryland instead of coming back here.”

  “Who the hell is Hakeem?” Phillip asked.

  “He’s my boyfriend, and right now he’s the only person who respects the fact that I’m capable of making my own decisions.” Lauren looked directly into Charlene’s eyes. “I didn’t graduate number one in my class or win a full scholarship by making bad decisions.”

  Charlene balked. “That was the old Lauren. I don’t know who I’m dealing with now.”

  “You’re dealing with a grown woman who knows what’s best for her. Just because my decision doesn’t please you, it doesn’t mean I’m wrong. I know what I’m doing and I don’t understand why you two find that so hard to believe!”

  “Because it’s coming out of the mouth of someone who has mustard stains smeared across the front of her sweatshirt, breath that smells like onions, and hair that looks like a bird decided to build a nest in it, that’s why,” Charlene said in a matter-of-fact tone. “You’ve got to be on drugs.”

  Phillip’s phone rang again, and this time when he looked at the number he smiled.

  Charlene shook her head. “Please cut that phone off, or tell those women who keep calling that you’re busy with a family emergency.” She watched as Phillip answered the phone.

  “Hey,” Phillip said in a soft tone, dripping with sweetness. “Hold on a minute.” He looked at Charlene and then at Lauren. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

  Charlene watched as her son rushed off to the family room.

  “I have to use the bathroom,” Lauren said, then turned and practically ran down the hall and up the stairs.

  Charlene stood where she was, frozen in disbelief and despair. She looked up toward the ceiling above, listening to her daughter stomp her way down the hall upstairs, oblivious to the fact that she was making the biggest mistake of her life. Then she turned her eyes and ears toward the family room, where she could hear her son speaking softly, probably to the woman he’d been with last night, no doubt trying to juggle her into his rotation. “Lord, please, please help me.” She was worried about her children, and she felt helpless to what she could see were big problems brewing for both of them.

  Then Charlene’s mind turned to her own worries, and the terrible mistake she’d made that was now looming over her head. And once again, she knew she had to focus only on what she had the power to change. For now, that meant dealing with the person who’d sent her the cryptic text. So instead of spending happy family time with her children while she prepared the food they would eat for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving dinner, Charlene walked down the hall to her study and sat behind her desk. She turned on her computer, typed in a name search, and wrote down the information she found. She opened another browser window and sent an e-mail to Shartell Brown, the person whom she now knew had sent the infamous text message.

  Chapter 20

  DONETTA

  Donetta slowly opened her eyes and blinked. She was thankful that her throbbing headache was gone, along with the terrible pain that had gripped her entire pelvic area. She was still experiencing pain, but compared to how she’d felt earlier this morning, she was thankful it wasn’t worse. “What time is it?” she mumbled in a groggy voice. She rubbed her eyes and looked at her digital alarm clock, only to see that she’d slept straight through the morning. “Damn, that Dilaudid knocked me out for the count.” She looked around for Phillip and realized he wasn’t there.

  “Close your eyes and rest.” Those were the last words Donetta remembered hearing Phillip say before she’d drifted off. She picked up her phone to dial his number and saw that he’d sent her a text while she slept.

  Phillip: I hope by the time you read this message you’re feeling better. Your breakfast is in the microwave when you’re ready to eat. Call me when you wake up. See you soon.

  Donetta couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him. She actually felt giddy, which until now she’d thought was an emotion reserved only for teenage girls. But that was how Phillip made her feel: like a young girl full of hope. She shook her head, still trying to wrap her brain around how suddenly her love life had changed, as well as her frame of mind. When she’d awoken yesterday morning she’d been lonely and filled with pessimism about the holidays. Now, a little more than twenty-four hours later, she was in the beginnings of a new relationship and she was excited about the possibilities that were to come.

  Donetta thought about Phillip and remembered how gentle he’d been with her that morning when she’d been in excruciating pain. They’d shared passionate moments last night when they made love, but that physical nirvana paled in comparison to the emotional intimacy and connection they’d formed this morning when he’d slid her panties up her legs, and then tucked her into bed. He’d turned an awkward moment into an endearing memory that she’d never forget. She dialed his number and he picked up on the first ring.

  “Hey,” he said in a sweet but hushed voice. “Hold on a minute.”

  Donet
ta could hear female voices in the background. She turned the volume button up and held the phone close to her ear so she could listen to what was being said. But the more she strained her ears to make out their words, the farther away the voices sounded. Even though she didn’t know what they were talking about, she could tell by the women’s pitch and tone that they were arguing.

  “Sorry about that,” Phillip said, still talking in a low, hushed voice. “I’m back. How’re you feeling?”

  “I’m better. Is everything okay?” She didn’t want to rush to any conclusions, so she held her breath and waited for him to explain the commotion going on around him.

  “Good, I’ve been worried about you. I’m glad you’re better.”

  “Thanks.” And by the way, where are you and who the hell are those women that I hear arguing in the background? She wanted to ask.

  “Did you eat your breakfast?”

  “Uh, no . . . not yet, but thanks for making it for me. I just woke up, read your message, and called you.”

  “Oh, okay. Well, I hope you’ll enjoy it.”

  He sounded preoccupied, and it made Donetta wonder even more what was going on. The noise in the background had escalated, and then suddenly subsided. She refused to remain in the dark any longer. “Phillip, I hear women arguing. Where are you?”

  “I’m in the middle of a family situation. It’s, um, it’s not good. I picked my sister up from the airport after I left your place, and now she and my mom are going at it.”

  Donetta started breathing regularly again. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “It’s a really bad situation here . . . you have no idea.”

  “As much drama as I’ve experienced in my life, I completely understand. Do you need to go?”

  “Yeah, I think I do, before things get too out of hand between them. Do you have plans for today?”

  “None.”

  “Can I come over later this afternoon?”

  She smiled. “You better.”

  “In that case, I’ll see you in a little while.”