The Longing

by Wendy Lindstrom

  Amelia frowned, confusion spiraling through her mind. “Why would Papa give her money?”

  Richard’s expression filled with sympathy. “Why do you think, Amelia?”

  His insinuation was too obvious to misinterpret, but if Amelia lived two hundred years she would never believe her father would cheat on her mother. He’d adored her mother. Gambling was one thing. An affair would have been the last possible vice she could ever have imagined her father being involved in. Especially with a sweet woman like Catherine Cameron.

  “Papa was a friend of your father’s. Maybe he felt inclined to help Catherine when she was widowed.”

  “Maybe,” he said, but Amelia knew he didn’t believe it. “He took over Catherine’s support when my dad died. That’s all I know for sure.”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. God help her, she didn’t want to believe it. But maybe that’s why her mother had been upset the day they made streusel. Maybe she knew the truth. Maybe Amelia’s father really had been having an affair.

  Amelia fumbled to open the door. She had to get out of Richard’s office. She couldn’t bear to hear another heartbreaking word about her father.

  “It’s locked, Amelia.”

  She reached up to twist the latch, but Richard’s hand stopped her. She whirled to face him, surprised that he’d crossed the room so quietly.

  “I rigged it to lock when I shut the door. It’s the only way to protect my privacy.” He gave the knob a quiet turn to unlock it, but he caught her arm and stopped her from bolting out the door. “If you rush out of here looking as if someone just died, you’re going to cause a tidal wave of gossip. If anyone finds out about this, your father’s reputation will suffer as severely as Catherine’s.” He sighed as if his shoulders carried an unbearable weight. “People make mistakes, Amelia. Most of us regret it. Your father was a good man and I’m sure he never meant to hurt anyone.” Richard gave her wrist a light squeeze. “Don’t try to understand this. Just protect his privacy and let him rest in peace.”

  The realization that she may not have really known her father crushed Amelia. All those years she’d adored him, had considered him a pillar of integrity and honor, but if Richard was telling the truth about Catherine, then her father had been a gambling, two-timing liar.

  Chapter Thirty

  Kyle glanced up when Amelia pulled into the lumberyard after lunch. She drew the carriage to a stop beside him and he could tell by her expression that she was upset.

  “Are you too busy to take a walk?” she asked.

  “Why?”

  “I need to talk to you.” Her nostrils flared and emotion filled her eyes. “Please. Can we go now?”

  “Of course.” After flagging Jake to take care of Amelia’s carriage, Kyle helped her out and gestured for her to lead the way.

  She took him back to the gorge where they’d dug her boat out of the sand and enjoyed one of the happiest days of their marriage. They sat on a fallen tree, its trunk stretched across the rocky bank with its limbs sprawled in the water. For several minutes they sat in silence, listening to the birds and the gurgle of the creek.

  “What’s bothering you?” Kyle asked, his gut in knots wondering what had caused Amelia distress.

  She glanced up. “I don’t want to spoil the day by talking about Richard and my father, but you’re right about keeping secrets. They’ll only cause problems for us later on.”

  The warm feeling Kyle had been carrying around with him since he and Amelia had made love started to turn cold. “What happened?”

  She raised her knees and hooked her arms around her shins. “I know where Papa’s money went.”

  Kyle met her eyes, but didn’t say anything.

  Amelia stared at the burbling water flowing down the creek as she told him about the letter and her trip to the bank. “I asked Richard why Papa was giving him money, and he said it was for Catherine.”

  “Why?”

  “I asked the same question. Richard said Papa was having an affair with Catherine and had been supporting her since Richard’s father died.”

  “Richard told you that?”

  Amelia nodded, her expression beginning to reflect her struggle to control her emotions. “For the first time in my life, I’m ashamed of my father.”

  “Amelia, this doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Yes it does. It fits the timing of Papa’s money loss. He stopped making bank deposits in his business account five years ago. Alfred Cameron died five years ago. Fifteen months after that Papa’s business account was empty and there weren’t any more deposits made. Mortgage papers started appearing about two years ago.”

  Pure amazement filled Kyle as he gawked at his wife. “How did you discover all of this?”

  “I’ve been looking through his files like you told me to do.”

  Kyle snorted at his own ineffectiveness. “I’ve been having discreet conversations with the local mill owners and anyone else your father did business with, including James Hale, hoping to uncover what he’d been involved in, and all this time you’ve been gathering clues. Why didn’t you tell me any of this?

  Amelia shrugged. “None of it made sense until I found that letter today. I honestly thought Papa had gambled away his money.” She sighed and her shoulders sagged. “I wish that had been the case. I don’t want to believe Papa cheated on my mother, but there’s no other explanation.”

  “Yes there is. I’d wager everything I own on your father’s integrity.”

  “Why else would he have given Richard or Catherine money?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe he’d had a business arrangement with Alfred and felt obligated to continue it after the man died. He was friends with Alfred. Maybe he felt a need to take care of Alfred’s widow. It could be any of a thousand reasons.” He hooked an arm around Amelia’s waist. “I’ll go see Richard tonight and find out what’s going on.”

  Amelia straightened up and gripped his arm. “I know he’s your friend, Kyle, but I...I think there’s something Richard isn’t telling me.”

  “That’s why I’m going to see him.”

  She held Kyle’s gaze. “I’d rather tell Duke about this and let him see what he can find out about Richard’s connection to Samuel Klein.”

  Kyle’s heart kicked, but he couldn’t disagree with Amelia. Too many things didn’t make sense.

  She drew a shaky breath. “I’m sorry if this hurts you, but I have to know what was really going on with Papa.”

  Kyle combed his hair back with his fingers, feeling as though he were betraying his friendship with Richard, but like Amelia, he had to know the truth. “I’m sure there’s a sensible explanation for this,” he said, but he sure as hell couldn’t guess what it might be.

  “I hope so.” The wistfulness in her voice shredded Kyle’s conscience. Her eyes misted and she looked away. “You know, I finally understand what you went through the night Papa died. This is the first time I’ve ever doubted my father and it’s an awful feeling. I can understand how you might have felt betrayed, Kyle, because I do, too. I’m so sorry I made you feel worse about what happened that night with Papa. The only thing you were guilty of is being human.”

  If only that were the truth. Kyle felt nauseous knowing Amelia would never forgive him for what he was about to tell her, but Kyle couldn’t allow her to doubt her father’s integrity when he knew the truth. Tom Drake was an honest, loyal man who loved his wife and daughter, a man who had earned Kyle’s respect and friendship. Kyle couldn’t let Tom’s memory be tarnished because of a cruel accusation that he could correct. Nor could he allow Amelia to be crushed by her own heartache over a man she loved. She deserved to remember her father with respect and love. And Kyle needed to honor his friend.

  He lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t you ever believe that your father cheated on your mother. I made the mistake of doubting him once, and I’ll always regret it.”

  She raised her lashes, her eyes filled with heartache. “I wa
nt to believe Papa’s innocent. I truly do,” she whispered, her voice thick with pain, “but there’s so much evidence.”

  “He wasn’t having an affair with Catherine. I’m certain of it.” Kyle knew he was the only man Catherine had been intimate with because she hadn’t been looking for love. She had needed a friend. She had shared her body and her heartache only with Kyle.

  “How do you know this, Kyle?”

  Kyle’s gut churned and he felt nauseous, but he forced the words from his dry mouth. “Because I was having an affair with her.”

  The life seemed to drain from Amelia’s eyes as she stared at him.

  “I didn’t want to tell you like this, Amelia, but it is the only way I can assure you of your father’s innocence.”

  “My God,” Amelia whispered, shoving off the tree trunk, unable to believe her ears.

  Kyle reached for her arm, but she stepped away from him.

  “Don’t touch me!”

  “I need to explain this, Amelia. It was a casual thing between Catherine and I.”

  “Casual? How dare you!” The flat of her palm struck him across the face, the impact jerking his head. He stood up, his eyes bright with insult, but Amelia didn’t care if Kyle throttled her. Her entire body was quaking with outrage. “There is nothing casual about an intimate relationship, Kyle! A man may think an affair only casual, but it’s a life-destroying event for a woman.”

  As if he sensed she was beyond reasoning with, Kyle stood in stony silence, which only increased her anger.

  “How could you ask Catherine to our wedding, or let me invite her into my home? For God’s sake, Kyle, you took your lover into our bedroom!” A tear-filled sob burst from her throat. “How could you?”

  “She’s not my lover, Amelia. Our affair ended when you and I decided to marry.”

  Unable to bear hearing the details, Amelia turned her back. Pain cut through her chest, but she couldn’t condemn Kyle for something she herself was guilty of. She’d been intimate with Richard, too, and though it was in the distant past, it was no different than Kyle’s more recent affair with Catherine. It just felt different. Much different.

  “I’m sorry, Amelia.” He sighed. “I won’t ask you to forgive me. I know I’ve hurt you too many times for that.”

  Amelia turned to face him, knowing Kyle really didn’t understand what it was going to take for them to make their marriage work.

  “I have to find a way to forgive you, Kyle. We both have to learn to trust and to forgive each other because someday we’ll have children who will learn how to live by our example. They’ll need us to understand and forgive their mistakes instead of punishing them.” She met his eyes, begging him to help her save their marriage. “How in God’s name are we going to teach them to trust and forgive if we aren’t capable of it ourselves?”

  Chapter Thirty-one

  It took ten days before Duke came to the house wearing his sheriff’s badge and a frown that looked similar to Kyle’s own expression when he was deeply upset.

  Duke nodded to Kyle then stepped inside and glanced at Amelia, who was sitting on the parlor floor playing with the kittens in her wounded quiet way as she’d been doing every evening since Kyle had told her about Catherine. They still worked together and Amelia performed all but one function of a dutiful wife, but there was a wall of hurt-filled silence surrounding her that Kyle knew he couldn’t breach.

  Kyle turned back to his brother. “I can tell by your expression it isn’t good news, Duke, so don’t sugarcoat what you’ve got to say.”

  “All right. Richard wasn’t a lawyer. He didn’t even graduate from college.”

  Amelia’s face blanched and she glanced at Kyle as if asking whether he knew about it, which of course he didn’t.

  “He worked in a shipyard for two years.”

  Kyle stared at his brother as if he were speaking in a foreign language.

  “The man I sent to investigate Richard visited Samuel Klein at a place called The Law Office. Richard and Sam were partners in that business.”

  “That was Richard’s law firm,” Kyle said, but Duke shook his head.

  “It was a gaming house. Sam claimed he met Richard at a shipping yard where they had worked loading cargo on ships. They started a gambling business in a small room in the back of a friend’s shop, then over a period of a year they managed to save enough money to open their own business.”

  Kyle shook his head. Richard had written home announcing the opening of his own law office. There had to be a mistake. “This can’t be right.”

  “It is, Kyle. According to Sam, Richard handled the financial end of their business and he supposedly embezzled a good portion of their money before Sam got suspicious and started digging through their books. Sam knew the law wouldn’t help him get his money back, so he confronted Richard and made him sign over his share of the business to Sam.” Duke’s expression softened and he looked at Amelia, his eyes filled with compassion. “Sam also learned that Richard was blackmailing your father and that’s why Sam sent the letter.”

  Kyle glanced at Amelia, but she sat frozen on the floor, her expression filled with dread.

  “He said your father had delivered a payment to Richard every few weeks,” Duke continued, “but during his last visit, Sam eavesdropped and heard Richard threatening to tell the authorities about Albert Cameron if your father didn’t keep paying the counters.”

  Amelia glanced at Kyle, but he shrugged, unable to fathom the connection. “Your father banked with Albert Cameron, didn’t he?”

  “Yes. Papa and Albert were friends. What could they have been involved in that would get them in trouble with the authorities?”

  “I don’t know.” Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, trying to sift through the confusing information, but none of it made sense. To even consider that a smart man like Richard was involved in blackmail was ludicrous.

  “I didn’t want to believe it either, Kyle, but I trust the man who gathered this information,” Duke said. “He wouldn’t give me facts unless he’d verified them.”

  Kyle lowered his hand and sighed. “I’m going to talk to Richard.”

  “So am I,” Amelia said, getting to her feet.

  o0o

  Amelia, Kyle, and Duke followed Catherine into the parlor where Richard was reclining in a chair with a wine glass in his hand.

  A smile lit his face when he saw Kyle, but she knew the shine of Duke’s badge had caught his eye. He lunged to his feet in one smooth motion and Amelia had to admire his ability to act the part of a pleased host. “Is the Pemberton closed this evening?” he asked, but his cocky grin faltered when Duke and Kyle exchanged an uncomfortable glance.

  “May I offer anyone a glass of wine?” Catherine asked, her hands shaking as she reached for the wine bottle.

  Amelia curled her fingernails into her palm, hoping the gouges would distract her from the searing pain in her heart.

  Kyle shook his head, but spoke to Richard. “You might prefer that we meet in private.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “I have a friend who went to visit Samuel Klein,” Duke said and Richard’s face paled. “Would you like to finish this conversation after the ladies leave the room?”

  “Of course not,” Richard said, as if he had no cause for concern and no idea why they were standing in his parlor worrying Catherine. “I’ve already told Amelia that Sam was a friend of mine.”

  “You also told her that Catherine had been having an affair with Amelia’s father,” Kyle said in his straightforward manner.

  The wine bottle shattered on the floor and Catherine gaped at Richard. “That’s not true!”

  “Of course it isn’t,” Richard said smoothly, clasping Catherine’s arm and moving her away from the broken glass. He faced Kyle, his eyes brimming with anger. “I never told Amelia that lie.”

  Amelia gasped. “You told me that Papa was supporting Catherine, and when I asked why, you insinuated very clearl
y that they were having an intimate affair.”

  Catherine’s shocked expression turned to outrage. “To my knowledge your father never contributed any financial assistance to my household. I barely knew the man.”

  Amelia ignored Catherine’s denial, sensing Richard was using those precious seconds to formulate excuses and possible ways to manipulate the situation to his advantage. “You were blackmailing my father for your own gain, weren’t you, Richard? I want the truth or I’m walking down the street to your uncle’s house and telling him everything Duke has uncovered about you.”

  Kyle crossed his arms over his chest. “And I’d like to know why you claimed to be a lawyer when you were working in a shipyard on a dock?”

  Catherine swung an incredulous look at her stepson. Instead of exhibiting the shock or shame Amelia had expected Richard became livid. “I worked as a dock hand because Tom Drake killed my father!”

  Amelia’s breath whooshed out and she grabbed the back of the sofa. Dead silence filled the room. Catherine buried her face in her hands; the rest of them stared at Richard as if he’d just shot them in the gut.

  “What are you talking about?” Kyle demanded.

  “Five years ago your wife cried on her father’s shoulder, and when I refused to marry her, Tom attacked me. My father tried to pull him off, but Tom shoved him and he fell from the second-story floor that we’d been installing.” Richard glared at Amelia. “The fall killed him.”

  “Wait a minute.” Kyle glanced at Amelia then back to Richard. “Why was Tom trying to force you to marry Amelia?”

  Richard snorted. “Why do you think?”

  As if Richard had slugged Kyle in the chest, he staggered back a step. He looked at Amelia, his eyes begging her to deny Richard’s accusation.

  “How could I tell you?” she asked quietly, her heart breaking over the look in his eyes.

  “The same way I told you about Catherine.”

  Catherine gasped, but Richard snorted. “How honorable of you to tell Amelia about the two of you.”