Topdog / Underdog
Page 6
(Rest)
It aint right me trying to make myself into a one woman man just because she wants me like that. One woman rubber-wearing motherfucker. Shit. Not me. She gonna walk in here looking all hot and shit trying to see how much she can get me to sweat, how much she can get me to give her before she gives me mines. Shit.
Lincoln
Booth
Lincoln
Moms told me I shouldnt never get married.
Booth
She told me thuh same thing.
Lincoln
They gave us each 500 bucks then they cut out.
Booth
Thats what Im gonna do. Give my kids 500 bucks then cut out. Thats thuh way to do it.
Lincoln
You dont got no kids.
Booth
Im gonna have kids then Im gonna cut out.
Lincoln
Leaving each of yr offspring 500 bucks as yr splitting.
Booth
Yeah.
(Rest)
Just goes to show Mom and Pops had some agreement between them.
Lincoln
How so.
Booth
Theyd stopped talking to eachother. Theyd stopped screwing eachother. But they had an agreement. Somewhere in there when it looked like all they had was hate they sat down and did thuh “split” budget.
(Rest)
When Moms splits she gives me 5 hundred-dollar bills rolled up and tied up tight in one of her nylon stockings. She tells me to put it in a safe place, to spend it only in case of an emergency, and not to tell nobody I got it, not even you. 2 years later Pops splits and before he goes—
Lincoln
He slips me 10 fifties in a clean handkerchief: “Hide this somewheres good, dont go blowing it, dont tell no one you got it, especially that Booth.”
Booth
Theyd been scheming together all along. They left separately but they was in agreement. Maybe they arrived at the same place at the same time, maybe they renewed they wedding vows, maybe they got another family.
Lincoln
Maybe they got 2 new kids. 2 boys. Different than us, though. Better.
Booth
Maybe.
Their glasses are empty. The whiskey bottle is empty too.
Booth takes the champagne bottle from the ice tub.
He pops the cork and pours drinks for his brother and himself.
Booth
I didnt mind them leaving cause you was there. Thats why Im hooked on us working together. If we could work together it would be like old times. They split and we got that room downtown. You was done with school and I stopped going. And we had to run around doing odd jobs just to keep the lights on and the heat going and thuh child protection bitch off our backs. It was you and me against thuh world, Link. It could be like that again.
Lincoln
Booth
Lincoln Booth
Lincoln
Throwing thuh cards aint as easy as it looks.
Booth
I aint stupid.
Lincoln
When you hung with us back then, you was just on thuh sidelines. Thuh perspective from thuh sidelines is thuh perspective of a customer. There was all kinds of things you didnt know nothing about.
Booth
Lonny would entice folks into thuh game as they walked by. Thuh 2 folks on either side of ya looked like they was playing but they was only pretending tuh play. Just tuh generate excitement. You was moving thuh cards as fast as you could hoping that yr hands would be faster than yr customers eyes. Sometimes you won sometimes you lost what else is there to know?
Lincoln
Thuh customer is actually called the “Mark.” You know why?
Booth
Cause hes thuh one you got yr eye on. You mark him with yr eye.
Lincoln
Lincoln
Booth
Im right, right?
Lincoln
Lemmie show you a few moves. If you pick up these yll have a chance.
Booth
Yr playing.
Lincoln
Get thuh cards and set it up.
Booth
No shit.
Lincoln
Set it up set it up.
In a flash, Booth clears away the romantic table setting by gathering it all up in the tablecloth and tossing it aside.
As he does so he reveals the “table” underneath: the 2 stacked monte milk crates and the cardboard playing surface.
Lincoln lays out the cards. The brothers are ready.
Lincoln begins to teach Booth in earnest.
Lincoln
Thuh deuce of spades is thuh card tuh watch.
Booth
I work with thuh deuce of hearts. But spades is cool.
Lincoln
Theres thuh Dealer, thuh Stickman, thuh Sides, thuh Lookout and thuh Mark. I’ll be thuh Dealer.
Booth
I’ll be thuh Lookout. Lemmie be thuh Lookout, right? I’ll keep an eye for thuh cops. I got my piece in my pants.
Lincoln
You got it on you right now?
Booth
I always carry it.
Lincoln
Even on a date? In yr own home?
Booth
You never know, man.
(Rest)
So Im thuh Lookout.
Lincoln
Gimmie yr piece.
Booth gives Lincoln his gun. Lincoln moves the little wooden chair to face right in front of the setup.
He then puts the gun on the chair.
Lincoln
We dont need nobody standing on the corner watching for cops cause there aint none. Thatll be the lookout.
Booth
I’ll be thuh Stickman, then.
Lincoln
Stickman knows the game inside out. You aint there yet. But you will be. You wanna learn good, be my Sideman. Playing along with the Dealer, moving the Mark to lay his money down. You wanna learn, right?
Booth
I’ll be thuh Side.
Lincoln
Good.
(Rest)
First thing you learn is what is. Next thing you learn is what aint. You dont know what is you dont know what aint, you dont know shit.
Booth
Right.
Lincoln
Booth
Booth
Whatchu looking at?
Lincoln
Im sizing you up.
Booth
Oh yeah?!
Lincoln
Dealer always sizes up thuh crowd.
Booth
Im yr Side, Link, Im on yr team, you dont go sizing up yr own team. You save looks like that for yr Mark.
Lincoln
Dealer always sizes up thuh crowd. Everybody out there is part of the crowd. His crew is part of the crowd, he himself is part of the crowd. Dealer always sizes up thuh crowd.
Lincoln looks Booth over some more then looks around at an imaginary crowd.
Booth
Then what then what?
Lincoln
Dealer dont wanna play.
Booth
Bullshit man! Come on you promised!
Lincoln
Thats thuh Dealers attitude. He acts like he dont wanna play. He holds back and thuh crowd, with their eagerness to see his skill and their willingness to take a chance, and their greediness to win his cash, the larceny in their hearts, all goad him on and push him to throw his cards, although of course the Dealer has been wanting to throw his cards all along. Only he dont never show it.
Booth
Thats some sneaky shit, Link.
Lincoln
It sets thuh mood. You wanna have them in yr hand before you deal a hand, K?
Booth
Cool.—K.
Lincoln
Right.
Lincoln
Booth
Booth
You sizing me up again?
Lincoln
Theres 2
parts to throwing thuh cards. Both parts are fairly complicated. Thuh moves and thuh grooves, thuh talk and thuh walk, thuh patter and thuh pitter pat, thuh flap and thuh rap: what yr doing with yr mouth and what yr doing with yr hands.
Booth
I got thuh words down pretty good.
Lincoln
You need to work on both.
Booth
K.
Lincoln
A goodlooking walk and a dynamite talk captivates their entire attention. The Mark focuses with 2 organs primarily: his eyes and his ears. Leave one out you lose yr shirt. Captivate both, yr golden.
Booth
So them times I seen you lose, them times I seen thuh Mark best you, that was a time when yr hands werent fast enough or yr patter werent right.
Lincoln
You could say that.
Booth
So, there was plenty of times—
Lincoln moves the cards around.
Lincoln
You see what Im doing? Dont look at my hands, man, look at my eyes. Know what is and know what aint.
Booth
What is?
Lincoln
My eyes.
Booth
What aint?
Lincoln
My hands. Look at my eyes not my hands. And you standing there thinking how thuh fuck I gonna learn how tuh throw thuh cards if I be looking in his eyes? Look into my eyes and get yr focus. Dont think about learning how tuh throw thuh cards. Dont think about nothing. Just look into my eyes. Get yr focus.
Booth
Theyre red.
Lincoln
Look into my eyes.
Booth
You been crying?
Lincoln
Just look into my eyes, fool. Now. Look down at thuh cards. I been moving and moving and moving them around. Ready?
Booth
Yeah.
Lincoln
Ok, Sideman, thuh Marks got his eye on you. Yr gonna show him its easy.
Booth
K.
Lincoln
Pick out thuh deuce of spades. Dont pick it up just point to it.
Booth
This one, right?
Lincoln
Dont ask thuh Dealer if yr right, man, point to yr card with confidence.
Booth points.
Booth
That one.
(Rest)
Flip it over, man.
Lincoln flips over the card. It is in fact the deuce of spades. Booth struts around gloating like a rooster. Lincoln is mildly crestfallen.
Booth
Am I right or am I right?! Make room for 3-Card! Here comes thuh champ!
Lincoln
Cool. Stay focused. Now we gonna add the second element. Listen.
Lincoln moves the cards and speaks in a low hypnotic voice.
Lincoln
Lean in close and watch me now: who see thuh black card who see thuh black card I see thuh black card black cards thuh winner pick thuh black card thats thuh winner pick thuh red card thats thuh loser pick thuh other red card thats thuh other loser pick thuh black card you pick thuh winner. Watch me as I throw thuh cards. Here we go.
(Rest)
Who see thuh black card who see thuh black card? You pick thuh red card you pick a loser you pick that red card you pick a loser you pick thuh black card thuh deuce of spades you pick a winner who sees thuh deuce of spades thuh one who sees it never fades watch me now as I throw thuh cards. Red losers black winner follow thuh deuce of spades chase thuh black deuce. Dark deuce will get you thuh win. One good pickll get you in 2 good picks you gone win. 10 will get you 20, 20 will get you 40.
(Rest)
Ima show you thuh cards: 2 red cards but only one spade. Dark winner in thuh center and thuh red losers on thuh sides. Pick uh red card you got a loser pick thuh other red card you got a loser pick thuh black card you got a winner. Watch me watch me watch me now.
(Rest) Ok, 3-Card, you know which cards thuh deuce of spades?
Booth
Yeah.
Lincoln
You sure? Yeah? You sure you sure or you just think you sure? Oh you sure you sure huh? Was you watching Links lighting fast express? Was you watching Link cause he the best? So you sure, huh? Point it out. Now, place yr bet and Linkll turn over yr card.
Booth
What should I bet?
Lincoln
Dont bet nothing man, we just playing. Slap me 5 and point out thuh deuce.
Booth slaps Lincoln 5, then points out a card which Lincoln flips over. It is in fact again the deuce of spades.
Booth
Yeah, baby! 3-Card got thuh moves! You didnt know lil bro had thuh stuff, huh? Think again, Link, think again.
Lincoln
You wanna learn or you wanna run yr mouth?
Booth
Thought you had fast hands. Wassup? What happened tuh “Links Lightning Fast Express”? Turned into uh local train looks like tuh me.
Lincoln
Thats yr whole motherfucking problem. Yr so busy running yr mouth you aint never gonna learn nothing! You think you something but you aint shit.
Booth
I aint shit, I am The Shit. Shit. Wheres thuh dark deuce? Right there! Yes, baby!
Lincoln
Ok, 3-Card. Cool. Lets switch. Take thuh cards and show me whatcha got. Go on. Dont touch thuh cards too heavy just—its a light touch. Like yr touching Graces skin. Or, whatever, man, just a light touch. Like uh whisper.
Booth
Like uh whisper.
Booth moves the cards around, in an awkward imitation of his brother.
Lincoln
Good.
Booth
Yeah. All right. Look into my eyes.
Booths speech is loud and his movements are jerky.
He is doing worse than when he threw the cards at the top of the play.
Booth
Watch-me-close-watch-me-close-now: who-see-thuh-black-card-who-see-thuh-black-card? I-see-thuh-black-card. Here-it-is. Thuh-black-card-is-thuh-winner. Pick-thuh-black-card-and-you-pick-uh-winner. Pick-uh-red-card-and-you-pick-uh-loser. Theres-thuh-loser-yeah-theres-thuh-red-card, theres-thuh-other-loser-and-theres-thuh-black-card, thuh-winner. Watch-me-close-watch-me-close-now: 3-Card-throws-thuh-cards-lightning-fast. 3-Card-thats-me-and-Ima-last. Watch-me-throw-cause-here-I-go. See thuh black card? Yeah? Who see I see you see thuh black card?
Lincoln
Hahahahhahahahahahahah!
Lincoln doubles over laughing.
Booth puts on his coat and pockets his gun.
Booth
What?
Lincoln
Nothing, man, nothing.
Booth
What?!
Lincoln
Yr just, yr just a little wild with it. You talk like that on thuh street cards or no cards and theyll lock you up, man. Shit. Reminds me of that time when you hung with us and we let you try being thuh Stick cause you wanted to so bad. Thuh hustle was so simple. Remember? I told you that when I put my hand in my left pocket you was to get thuh Mark tuh pick thuh card on that side. You got to thinking something like Links left means my left some dyslexic shit and turned thuh wrong card. There was 800 bucks on the line and you fucked it up.
(Rest)
But it was cool, little bro, cause we made the money back. It worked out cool.