The Only Way Out

by Susan Mallery

  What now? The question repeated itself. What now? What now? Kray’s men had seen her. They knew she was still on the island and they knew she was with Jeff. Kray would be looking for them. When would he find them? What would he do to Jeff when he found him? She knew her own fate and refused to think about it. But she might be responsible for Jeff’s death.

  The front door opened. She glanced up and saw him standing in the doorway. “Is Bobby asleep?” he asked.

  She nodded. “He finally calmed down.” They’d both been terrified. She’d stayed in the darkness listening to his steady breathing until her shaking had gotten so bad, she’d been afraid she couldn’t stand upright.

  Jeff stalked closer to her. He’d removed his cap, but he was still dressed in camouflage. The military clothing made him look dangerous. She didn’t dare stare at his face. Instead, she kept her gaze on his broad chest.

  “What the hell were you thinking?” he asked. “You could have been killed. I told you to get yourself and Bobby out. If you can’t follow orders you’re not going to stay alive very long.” Anger filled every word. His hands curled into fists as if he would like to strangle her himself.

  “I know,” she whispered, barely able to force the words past her trembling lips.

  “You know? The hell you do, lady. Do you know who those men work for? They thought I was part of a military operation. But no, that was too simple. You had to go and show yourself to them. Now they know you and I are together. Have you thought about that?”

  “Yes, I have. It doesn’t change anything.” The last statement was said hopefully. She wanted him to confirm that Kray knowing the truth wouldn’t endanger them more.

  Jeff laughed harshly, shattering her brief illusion. “It changes everything. He knows you’re still on the island. Now they’ll be looking for the three of us. His men can describe me, and Kray will be able to identify me from the description.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry? That’s the best you can do? What if Kray’s men had caught you, or shot you? What if they’d shot Bobby?”

  She jerked her head up and stared at him. The anger in his eyes made her flinch, but she didn’t look away. “Bobby was safe in the Jeep. I had him tucked down between the front and back seats.”

  “What if there had been a third man?”

  She opened her mouth, but no sound came. A third man? She hadn’t thought of that. “I couldn’t let them kill you.”

  “They weren’t going to. Not without Kray’s direct orders.”

  “They were hurting you. I had to make them stop.”

  “If you act like a civilian, you’re going to die and Kray’s going to get your son.”

  The shaking increased. She bit down hard on her lower lip to hold back the tears. She didn’t want to know that. She didn’t want to have to think about the danger or what disasters had been narrowly avoided.

  “Stop trying to scare me,” she said. “Nothing bad happened. We’re all fine and Kray didn’t get us.”

  “The man I hired to get you to Florida is dead.”

  She’d forgotten about him. Her stomach lurched. She turned away from him, toward the arm of the sofa. She pulled her knees up toward her chest. Her skin was cold and clammy. Her pulse increased.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. I should have listened. I should have taken Bobby and left. No, I should never have married Kray in the first place. That was the first mistake.” She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to remember that time. “No, not the first mistake, but the biggest. But I couldn’t leave. Don’t you see? I thought they were going to kill you. I couldn’t bear to watch another man die. Especially not you. But a man is dead anyway. Because of me. I killed him. Oh, God, the explosion.”

  “Andie.” She felt Jeff settle on the sofa next to her.

  “No, it’s true. If it wasn’t for me, he would be alive right now. Why did he have to die? Why did I have to marry Kray? How could I have been so stupid? I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know.”

  She felt a hand on her shoulder. She jerked away from him, burrowing in the corner of the sofa. The thick cotton was smooth against her cheek. Expensive. Only the best for Kray and his man. She almost laughed, but was afraid she would sound hysterical.

  “I understand,” he said quietly.

  “I doubt that. You blame me as much as anyone. I deserve it. I know that. I should have seen the truth.” She opened her eyes and stared at the wall next to the fireplace. She blinked several times, surprised to find her eyes filled with tears. “My first stupid decision was to become a model after my parents died. My second was going to Europe. It was no place for an innocent teenage girl. I had no direction, no one to tell me what I should do. No one to give me advice. Kray was the first person to really listen to me.” She drew in a deep breath. “He was intrigued.”

  This time the laughter did escape. “Intrigued. Can you imagine anything so ridiculous?”

  “Andie, it’s okay.”

  She turned on him. “It’s not okay,” she said angrily. “You’ve just finished explaining how not okay it is. We’re going to die on this island. Kray is going to take my son from me, then he’s going to kill us both.”

  Steel blue eyes stared into her own. “I’m not going to let that happen.”

  He reached up and pulled off her baseball cap. Several strands of hair drifted across her cheek. Slowly he brushed them away. His fingers were slightly rough and callused against her skin.

  “Don’t,” she whispered. His rage frightened her, but his gentleness would destroy her. She would be left vulnerable, with no way to protect herself from him.

  He ignored her request and continued to stroke her face. She didn’t know she was crying until he cupped his palm against her jaw and wiped the tears away with his thumb.

  “You’re shaking,” he said.

  “What did you expect?”

  “Sometimes I forget you’re not an experienced field person. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You were right. I wasn’t thinking. I was just so afraid of being alone with Bobby. I wasn’t sure I could keep him safe on my own.”

  He smiled at her. “Either way, you managed to save my hide. You were very brave.”

  “I didn’t feel brave. I was terrified.”

  His eyes darkened to the color of a midnight sky. His jaw tightened. He was fighting some powerful emotion, but she didn’t know what. She didn’t know anything anymore except that she was cold inside. It was as if the fear leeched the very life from her bones. The only warm place on her body was where his hand touched her face.

  “How long is it going to be like this?” she asked. “How long do I have to be afraid? How long until he catches us? How long until we’re both dead and Kray has Bobby?”

  “Hush.” He reached for her and pulled her close.

  She didn’t want to go into his arms. She didn’t want to be close to him. Not because she didn’t care but because she did. He would make her feel things and want things. She would start to believe and she’d long ago learned believing was deadly. Nothing had changed between them. He was still on the island with his men, sent here to capture Kray, perhaps even to kill him. She was still his enemy’s ex-wife—despised, disdained, unworthy.

  Yet she couldn’t deny his touch or his warmth. He angled toward her on the sofa and pulled her into the shelter of his heat. He stroked her head and her back. He murmured promises that it would be all right. She knew he lied. He couldn’t know that. But for this moment, she chose to believe him. The alternative was to surrender to the despair, and she couldn’t do that. Not until her son was safe.

  She wrapped her arms around his waist, clinging to him. He was warm and alive. His chest rose and fell in time with his steady breathing. She could hear the thudding of his heart under her ear. His muscles bunched and released against her cheek. His scent, faint fragrances from the night and the maleness that was his alone, surround
ed her. She would remember these moments. Later, when she was alone and afraid, she would call on the memories to keep her strong.

  “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he said. “You’re probably in shock.”

  “I’m okay,” she whispered, snuggling closer. His shirt was surprisingly soft against her skin. “What about you? I heard them hitting you.”

  “Just a few bumps and bruises.”

  She raised her head and looked up at him. “Are you sure? Nothing’s broken?”

  He reached down and felt his left side, then rotated his shoulder. “I’m bruised up pretty good, but it’s all still working.”

  His face was so close to hers. The angle of his jaw caught her attention. Strong, clean lines. She could see the beginnings of stubble shadowing his features. His mouth was straight and well shaped. She remembered the feel of it against her own, then quickly closed her eyes. She didn’t want to remember that right now. She didn’t want the moment spoiled by fantasies of what could never be. Jeff was still very much in love with his late wife. She was the last woman he would ever want to be with.

  She forced herself to think of other things. Of the sound of the sea and the stillness of the night. She relaxed against him, letting the soothing stroking of his hand against her back lull her fears.

  Without warning she saw the explosion, heard the deafening blast and felt the concussion. She stiffened and pushed away from him. Her eyes flew open.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  She caught her breath. “Nothing. I just—” She shook her head.

  “Andie, what?” He touched a finger to her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Tell me.”

  “When I closed my eyes, I saw the explosion again. I could hear it in my head. I’m afraid I’m going to have nightmares for a long time.”

  “You will, but they’ll fade.”

  She wanted to ask how long that would take, then remembered he wouldn’t be able to tell her. After all, just a couple of nights ago he’d had nightmares about his wife, and had called out Jeanne’s name. Andie wondered if she would call out Jeff’s name when she dreamed of the boat exploding. She’d stood there, terrified, not knowing if he was dead. She hadn’t been able to see anything.

  “Don’t think about it,” he said.

  “I can’t think about anything else.”

  “I know.”

  She glanced up at him.

  His expression was resigned. “I want to tell you it gets better, that you’ll learn to live with it,” he said.

  “But it doesn’t get better, does it?”

  He pressed his hand against her head then, urging her to relax against him. She wanted to protest, but she couldn’t. It felt right to be with him like this. His strength offered her the illusion of safety, the feeling that as long as she was with him, everything would be all right. It wasn’t true, of course. But for a while she would pretend. Pretend that he liked her, that her admiration was nothing more than a fleeting well of gratitude. That she didn’t really care for him specifically. She tried to gather the strength to move away. She told herself to be strong, not to be a fool.

  “You’re so damn beautiful.”

  His words shocked her. She looked up and found him staring down at her. His eyes were hungry, filled with a fire that kindled instant heat inside of her. He didn’t move, yet he seemed to strain toward her. His muscles tensed, his heartbeat increased.

  “Jeff?”

  “I know, I’m a complete bastard.” He pulled away from her, shifting on the sofa so he faced forward. “You need rest, Andie. Go to bed.”

  Did he want her? It seemed impossible to believe. She stared at him, at the way the lamplight caught the gold blond of his hair. At the breadth of his shoulders, at his strength. She needed him, she cared about him and she wanted him. Perhaps more than he could imagine. It had been so long since she’d been with a man, been touched intimately. She wanted to be held and loved. She wanted to be cherished, caressed, healed. She wanted to borrow his strength.

  “Jeff?”

  “Stop saying my name,” he demanded. “You don’t know what it does it me.”

  His hands clenched into fists. Did she really affect him? She sat up on her knees, not sure she was willing to believe what was happening. All this time she’d thought he despised her. Was it possible he thought of being with her as she’d thought of being with him? Was it possible he cared? Did his anger come from guilt? Not just because she was Kray’s ex-wife but because he hadn’t been with another woman since Jeanne’s death?

  He’d said she was beautiful. So often her physical body was merely a hindrance. Something people had to get past to see the real person inside. She was assumed to be stupid, or stuck-up, or superior, when in fact she was just like everyone else, with flaws and good points.

  But at this moment, she was glad he liked the way she looked. She reached behind her and pulled her braid over her shoulder. She unfastened the tie at the end, then finger-combed the strands free. When her hair was loose, she moved closer to him. She touched his shoulder.

  He turned toward her. He breathed her name, then slipped his hands through her hair. “You’re incredible,” he said.

  She smiled. It wasn’t love, but it was about her, and that was enough for now. She hadn’t felt special to a man in a very long time. Perhaps not ever.

  “I want you,” he said.

  She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned toward him. Her lips brushed his. She touched him with the faintest pressure, more teasing than passionate, more playful than arousing.

  The fingers in her hair twisted, holding her in place. He angled his head and opened his mouth. At the first touch of his tongue, fire raced through her. The flames ignited her skin, her breasts and the sweet waiting place between her thighs.

  She slipped forward, falling across his lap. He released her hair and gathered her close to him. They never broke the kiss. Even as he picked her up in his arms. Even as she wiggled to get closer and held on to his neck. Even as he walked down the hallway and into his bedroom. Even when he kicked the door closed behind them, shutting out the rest of the world.

  Chapter 11

  Jeff carried Andie to the king-size bed in the center of the room, then bent over and placed her on the mattress. His muscles protested, especially his shoulder where Kray’s man had hit him with the rifle butt. He ignored the pain and concentrated only on the need flooding through him. It had been too long.

  Andie stared up at him with wide blue eyes. Her perfect features, her smooth skin and pouty mouth, all fueled his desire. She was every man’s fantasy. The kind of woman who would stop traffic wherever she went. Yet she stared up at him as if he were all she’d ever dreamed of. Her body quivered. He could feel the slight tremors.

  “Jeff,” she breathed. Her voice was low and husky, as if desire had forced her to say his name.

  He’d been hard from the moment he’d sat next to her on the sofa and pulled her close. He’d managed to control himself until she’d taken her hair down and touched him. Now there was no going back.

  He taunted himself. Instead of letting the fire consume them both, he waited until the heat was unbearable. He stared at her, at her long jean-clad legs, at her hair spilling over the pillow. She studied him in return, looking at his face, then his chest. Her gaze dipped lower. She flushed slightly when she saw his erection straining against his trousers, but she didn’t look away. Her lips parted and her breathing increased.

  He reached for the belt buckle at his waist. After unfastening it, he set it and his holster on the nightstand. Next, he pulled his shirt free of his trousers. His boots hit the floor, followed by his socks. Only then did he sit on the bed next to her.

  He placed one hand on her thigh. Her jeans were soft from many washings. He could feel the heat of her body and the rippling of her muscles as he ran his palm down her long, lean leg to her ankle. He stroked her calf, her knee, then the outside of her thigh. As his fingers crossed her belly, she caug
ht her breath. He slipped over her ribs to her shoulder, then down her right arm to her hand.

  Capturing her wrist, he brought it toward his mouth. Their gazes locked. Watching her watch him, he pressed his lips against the sensitive skin of her inner wrist. He felt the rapid flutter of her pulse. He opened his mouth and tasted her. Her eyes widened. She was sweet and salty. The combination made him realize how long he’d been starving for a woman’s flavor. He held in a groan.

  Desire swelled in his chest and groin. The fire burned hotter. Yet he held back. He knew what would happen when he gave in. He knew they would both eventually succumb to the flames. But not yet. Anticipation would intensify the act.

  Still holding her wrist, he moved his mouth to her palm and nibbled her sensitive skin. Her fingers brushed against his cheek. He circled her palm, tracing life lines, touching each of her fingertips with his tongue, memorizing the taste and feel of her. Beyond the room were the muted sounds of the night. He could hear the surf through the open window, the faint rustle of a night breeze. The scent of exotic, tropical flowers carried to him, yet no fragrance was sweeter than her.

  She continued to watch him. Her eyes darkened with smoky desire. She moved her free hand to his thigh and gently squeezed his tight muscles. The silence in the room hummed in expectation. Through her shirt, he could see the faint puckering of her nipples. Her hips began to move slightly, offering him paradise. His blood boiled through him—faster, hotter, urging him on. Yet he continued to hold back, not ready to take or give. In the back of his mind, a voice whispered of fear. There hadn’t been anyone for so long. He wanted her, and yet…

  She slipped her hand free of his hold and grabbed his wrist. Before he could stop her, she pulled his fingers to her mouth and touched the tips with her tongue. Electricity shot up his arm, through his chest to his groin. She drew his index finger into her mouth and suckled him. His arousal flexed hard against his belly. Had she touched him there, he would have exploded in her hand.

  He growled low in his throat and reached for her. Sliding one hand behind her shoulders and the other around her waist, he hauled her up against him. She reached for his arms and clung to him. He pressed his mouth to hers.