The Darwin Awards 6: Countdown to Extinction
Page 18
Cassandra Brooks (author of “Batty Behavior”) grew up in the woods of New England, perpetually doing ecological experiments. She loved collecting little critters from the rivers, ponds, and tide pools, investigating under what conditions they lived or died (sorry, little water striders). She was equally fond of writing it all down in her journal and sharing with her sisters and friends. After completing a Master’s in marine science, studying Antarctic toothfish—one of two species better known as “Chilean Sea Bass” (“Don’t eat it!”)—she went back to school for science writing, finally finding a way to merge science and outreach. Her essay, while outside her field of study, is a window into a topic she’s long found fascinating. “Really, don’t we all?”
Alice Cascorbi (author of “Why Bother with Sex?”) is a 1995 graduate of the UCSC graduate program in science writing. Her mostly academic interest in the evolution of sex was sparked by her 1988 BA thesis on that topic at Carleton College. After college, she spent several years exploring a variety of jobs in the life sciences—from sequencing oat DNA, to working as a veterinary assistant, to burning prairies for The Nature Conservancy. As of this spring, she is “all but revision” on an MS in Conservation Biology from the University of Minnesota. Before going freelance, she worked for five years at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, writing about conservation for their website and researching sustainable seafood for the Seafood Watch Program. Ecology and cooking have been two of her chief interests throughout life. When she is not writing, she enjoys mushroom hunting and organic gardening. She lives in Portland, Oregon, with her beloved husband and two Maine Coon cats.
Alison Davis (author of “RNAi: Interference by Mother Nature”) is a proud banana slug alumna of the University of California, Santa Cruz Science Communication program. She has a PhD in pharmacology from Georgetown University and did postdoctoral research in developmental biology at Stanford. A lover of science and words, Alison feeds her passions for both as a freelance writer covering Washington, D.C., where science and policy intrigue are in abundant supply. She lives near Baltimore with six males: one husband, two sons, two Australian cattle dogs, and a guinea pig.
Jennie Dusheck (author of “The Reproductive Lottery”) is a freelance science writer and author of an award-winning college-level general biology textbook, with degrees in ecology and zoology. She lives in Santa Cruz, California, with her family. “My two teenage sons are big fans.” Her past research life includes pursuits as disparate as analyzing the diets of free-range dairy cattle (by looking at the stomach contents of cows) to writing the protocol for a NASA Space Shuttle experiment that sent frog embryos into space. Now living on semirural property, she spends a lot of time thinking about drainage. Her essay, which could not be included in this book due to space limitation, can be found at www.DarwinAwards.com/science/lottery.html
After receiving an astrophysics degree, Adam Mann (author of “Quorum Sensing: Secret Language of Bacteria”) joined the science writing program at UC Santa Cruz. He finds that contemplating both the cosmos and bacterial life on earth provides the same feeling: personal insignificance. He enjoys music, language, technology, and fine cheeses.
Jane Palmer (author of “Rapid Evolution”) is a transplant from England who has a doctorate in computational molecular biology and a passion for climbing rocks. She lives in Boulder, Colorado, with her Scottish husband, Gareth, and her American daughter, Iona. They spend endless hours arguing over who belongs to the superior race. Iona always wins despite her small skull.
Stephanie Pappas (author of “Left Behind: Vestigial Structures”) is a freelance science writer. She has a degree in psychology from the University of South Carolina and a certificate in science communication from the University of California, Santa Cruz, both institutions known for their dignified mascots (a chicken and a slug, respectively). Her favorite subjects to write about are brains, cephalopods, mummies, and medicine; one day, she’ll write an article about the medical implications of a mummified cephalopod brain and retire happy. Stephanie lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband and two very demanding guinea pigs.
Kristin Sainani (author of “DNA Fossils: The Evolution of HIV”) is a freelance science writer and a health columnist for Allure magazine. She is also a clinical assistant professor at Stanford University, where she teaches doctors how to write clearly and use statistics wisely. She enjoys long-distance running and hanging out with her husband and toddler.
Chandra Shekhar (author of “Evolving Cancer”) turned to a career in writing after more than a decade as a scientist, and later as an entrepreneur. Although he is trained in computer science and engineering, Chandra ends up writing mostly about the life sciences. He enjoys reading Somerset Maugham, P. G. Wodehouse, Jane Austen, and other British writers, and fantasizes about writing a best-selling novel.
Mike Wall (author of “The Mystery of Super-toxic Snake Venoms”) has been both a science writer and a scientist, with research interests in snake and lizard evolution and the conservation of reptiles and amphibians. He has chased down, grabbed, and been bitten by many squirmy, scaly creatures—but nothing nearly as scary as a mamba.
The Darwin Awards website was born on a Stanford University web-server in 1994. Its cynical view of the human species made it a favorite speaker in classrooms, offices, and pubs around the world. The website won dozens of Internet awards, and now ranks among the top ten thousand most-visited websites. It currently entertains a million visitors per month in its comfortable Santa Cruz home. The Darwin Awards hosts a community of free thinkers who enjoy philosophical, political, and scientific conversations. Guests are welcome to launch fireworks, bounce on the trampoline, and spin a flaming hula hoop.
STORY INDEX
A Clear Lesson (At-Risk Survivor)
A Cushioned Blow (At-Risk Survivor)
A Drilliant Idea (At-Risk Survivor)
A Really Bad Commute (At-Risk Survivor)
A Screw Loose (Darwin Award Winner)
A Shoe-In Winner (Darwin Award Winner)
Against the Odds (At-Risk Survivor)
Agua Ski Calamity (At-Risk Survivors)
airplane
aluminum, extraction
An Illuminating Story (Darwin Award Winner)
An Un-Fun Whirlwind (At-Risk Survivor)
Anchors Aweigh! (At-Risk Survivor)
animal, crocodile
animal, deer
animal, dog
animal, liger
animal, lion
animal, raccoon
animal, rattlesnake
balloons, helium
bath
Battered Sausages (At-Risk Survivor)
Batty Behavior (Science Interlude)
Beach Getaway (Darwin Award Winner)
Bench Press (At-Risk Survivor)
Birch Slapped (At-Risk Survivor)
Bitter Biter Bit a Nitwit (Urban Legend)
Blast from the Past (At-Risk Survivor)
bomb, antique
bomb, homemade
bomb, stolen
Boom Boom Bees (At-Risk Survivor)
Bricks in the Head (Darwin Award Winner)
cannon (homemade)
Caps’n’Hammer Kids (At-Risk Survivor)
Carbidschieten (Darwin Award Winner)
Cats Land on All Fours (At-Risk Survivor)
Christmas Light Zinger (At-Risk Survivor)
Chutes and Spills (At-Risk Survivor)
Clap-Clap-Clap Your Hands (At-Risk Survivor)
Claude François, French rock star
Coffee Can of Water (At-Risk Survivor)
commute
criminal, drug addict
criminal, insurance scam
criminal, joy-riding drunks
criminal, murderer
criminal, thief
criminal, vandal
Crushing Debt (Double Darwin Award Winner)
demolition
distracted driving
DNA Fossils : The Evolution of HIV (Science Interlude)
Double Dip (Darwin Award Winner)
Double Parking (Double Darwin Award Winner)
Doublemint Dumb Chewing Gum (Darwin Award Winner)
Down in the Dumps (At-Risk Survivor)
Duct Don’t (At-Risk Survivor)
dust devil, monster
Dying to Go (Darwin Award Winner)
Dynamite Rancher (Darwin Award Winner)
Electric Bathtub Blues (Darwin Award Winner, Historic)
electric fence
electricity
Jacuzzi
kitchen mixer
toilet
Epitaph—She Liked Feathers (Darwin Award Winner)
Evolving Cancer (Science Interlude)
explosion
ATM
bees
blasting cap
dynamite
fireworks
gasoline
gum
lighter fuel
liquid oxygen
M-80
mattress
natural gas
oxy-acetylene
propane cylinder
spray paint
explosion, tequila
varnish
washing machine
white gas
FAQ
father, car mechanic
father, firecrackers
father, Ph.D. genius
father, The Cook
father, The Tinker
father, whale researcher
feather (feather, not father!)
feces
fire
Flying Door (At-Risk Survivor)
food, cake
food, coconut
food, cucumber
food, fruitcake
food, gum
Fool’s Gold (Darwin Award Winner)
Glacier Erasure (Darwin Award Winner)
glass doors
gonads
stuck in a pipe
stuck in a urinal
stuck in a vase
gravity
and a feather
and a tunnel
and dirt
gum, chewing
gun, cannon
gun, fight
gun, howitzer
gun, putty bullets
Hard Science, with Zombies ! (At-Risk Survivor)
Herschel the Doberman (At-Risk Survivor)
holiday, Christmas
holiday, Fourth of July
holiday, Mother’s Day
holiday, New Year’s
homemade, anchor
homemade, bomb
homemade, cannon
homemade, green vehicle
Homemade Howitzer (At-Risk Survivor)
Hot Buns (At-Risk Survivor)
ICanSayIToldYouSo (At-Risk Survivor)
icebergs!
insurance
It ’s the Cure That’ll Kill You (At-Risk Survivor)
Killer Fuel Economy (Merits Discussion)
Killer Ser ve (At-R isk Survivor)
Left Behind: Vestigial Structures (Science Interlude)
Locker Room Humor (At-Risk Survivor)
Low-Flying Drunks (Double Darwin Award Winner)
Man Meets Manure (Darwin Award Winner)
mattress
Medieval Mayhem (At-Risk Survivor)
Meet the Author (At-Risk Survivor)
military, free time
military, sentry duty
Missed (But Not Missed By) the Bus (Darwin Award Winner)
Mock Death (Darwin Award Winner)
Mortar Fire (At-Risk Survivor)
Motorized Bar Stool (At-Risk Survivor)
Mr. Tinker (At-Risk Survivor)
Muffled Explosion (Darwin Award Winner)
My Father, the Ph.D. (At-Risk Survivor)
Mystery of Super-Toxic Snake Venom (Science Interlude)
Ninja Deer Hunter (At-Risk Survivor)
Ninja Wannabe (At-Risk Survivor)
Nitrating the Unknown (At-Risk Survivor)
Not Even Half-Baked (At-Risk Survivor)
Not Fast Enough Food (Darwin Award Winner)
One Foot in the Pool (Darwin Award Winner)
One-Track Mind (Darwin Award Winner)
oven
microwave
shrink wrap
toaster
Padre Baloneiro—Balloon Priest (Double Darwin Award Winner)
Painkiller (Darwin Award Winner)
paint, spray can
parachute
Payback (Darwin Award Winner)
Pill Pusher (At-Risk Survivor)
Pillar of Strength (Darwin Award Winner)
Pipe Cleaner (At-Risk Survivor)
plastic wrap, weight loss
Poor Decision on a Major Scale (Darwin Award Winner)
Popsicle (At-Risk Survivor)
priest, Catholic
Project Steve (Science Interlude)
Putting the Pain in Propane (At-Risk Survivors)
Putty Bullet (At-Risk Survivor)
Quorum Sensing: Secret Language (Science Interlude)
Race to the Bottooommm (Darwin Award Winner)
Rapid Evolution (Science Interlude)
RNAI: Interference by Mother Nature (Science Interlude)........
Rub the Mint (Darwin Award Winner)
safety inspector
Saw It Coming! (Merits Discussion)
SCA, Society for Creative Anachronism
Sentry Duty (At-Risk Survivor)
Sex on the Brain (Science Interlude)
She Talks Faster Than She Walks (Darwin Award Winner)
Shocking Rappel (At-Risk Survivor)
Shockingly Conductive (At-Risk Survivor)
Short Circuit (Darwin Award Winner)
Single Bud Vase (At-Risk Survivor)
Sky Rider (At-Risk Survivor)
Sky Surfer (Darwin Award Winner)
Sparkleberry Lane (Darwin Award Winner)
Spin Cycle (At-Risk Survivor)
sport, bodysurfing
sport, “controlled” rock slide
sport, digging holes
sport, hunting
sport, jumping in a dust devil
sport, kite boarding
sport, ninja
sport, pull-ups
sport, rappel
sport, skiing
sport, street skating
sport, swimming
sport, tennis
student, frat boys
student, camping trip
student, chemistry
student, just graduated
student, summer job
Survival Tips
Taser, first aid
teacher, aviation electronics
Teeming With Crocodiles (Darwin Award Winner)
Tennessee Pee (Darwin Award Winner)
The Great Fruitcake Incident (At-Risk Survivor)
The Mane Attraction (At-Risk Survivor)
The Mettle of the Kettle (At-Risk Survivor)
theft, deterrent
toilet, jailhouse
toilet, mid-air
toilet, woods
tool, air compressor
tool, chainsaw
tool, drill
tool, GPS
tool, hammer
tool, shovel
tool, washing machine
tool, wrench
tornado, monster dust devil
transportation, balloon
transportation, by kite
transportation, plane
transportation, ski boat
transportation, tornado
tree, and fish
tree, and power lines
tree, dead
tree, safety
urine, mid-air
vehicle, bar stool
vehicle, bus
vehicle, Caterpillar
vehicle, demolition
vehicle, dragster
vehicle, electrified car
vehicle, fun and games
vehicle, moped
&nbs
p; vehicle, natural gas
vehicle, one car crash
vehicle, pickup truck
vehicle, slow
vehicle, subway train
vehicle, tractor
vehicle, train vs. sports car
Volunteer “Fire” Man (At-Risk Sur vivor)
washing machine
wasps, “pissed off”
water, crocodile-infested
water, frigid
water, rainstorm
water, spillway
water, swimming pool
water, swollen creek
Wetting the Bed (Darwin Award Winner)
Wheel of Fortune (Darwin Award Winner)
whirlwind, dust devil
Why Bother With Sex? (Science Interlude)
Why I’m the Last of Nine Children (Darwin Award Winner)
woman
and a crocodile
and electricity
falling
late for bus
late for work
on a moped
surfing
Tasered
Zap Car (Darwin Award Winner)
zombies!
LOCATION INDEX
Australia
Belgium
Belgium
Brazil
Canada
China
Croatia
France
Germany
Greenland
India
Indonesia
Iraq
Italy
Malaysia
Mexico
Philippines
Poland
Romania
Russia