New Cardiff

by Charles Webb

  ‘Yours and Vera’s.’

  ‘But I mean I wouldn’t even be talking like this if I wasn’t so exhausted I don’t even know where I am.’

  ‘Your and Vera’s first time.’

  ‘Right,’ he said, smiling again.

  ‘And Colin,’ she said, ‘let me just tell you something here for a moment. No matter what else happens, you will always have that special memory to look back on and treasure.’

  Colin looked up at the ceiling and laughed.

  ‘Would it help to talk to me about it.’

  ‘I’m not laughing because it’s a happy memory. Just the absurdity of it.’

  ‘Colin, only tell me about it if you feel perfectly comfortable.’

  ‘I’m trying to think how old we were at the time,’ he said. ‘Seventeen? Maybe sixteen. Could it have been fifteen?’

  ‘Don’t worry about that part of it.’

  ‘Anyway, we’d been talking about it for months. Planning it. When shall we do it. Where shall we do it.’

  ‘A couple of nervous teenagers,’ Joanie said.

  ‘So we finally did make the decision, which was to do it one Sunday evening over at her grandparents’ house.’

  ‘Grandparents,’ Joanie laughed.

  ‘Because every Sunday evening, at five o’clock, like clockwork, they went out to eat their big meal of the week.’

  ‘Oh marvellous,’ Joanie said. ‘Sit down again, Colin.’ She helped him back into the chair.

  ‘But the funny part,’ Colin said, ‘was that they always went to the same restaurant, Sunday after Sunday, week in and week out, and the restaurant they went to—and this is the ridiculous part—was directly across the street from the house they lived in.’

  ‘Oh my God,’ Joanie said, clapping her hands together.

  ‘Let me …’

  ‘Go on, Colin.’

  ‘Okay,’ Colin said, standing up again. ‘So over we went, to her nana’s house …’

  ‘Her nana’s house, I love it.’

  ‘We went over there about—I don’t know—half past four …’

  ‘In the afternoon.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘We’d told them the reason we wanted to come over was to watch something on this new large television they’d just got. So we went in, sat down and pretended to be watching some BBC thing on birds in the Orkneys or something.’

  ‘Waiting for them to leave.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘Which they did exactly at five,’ Joanie said.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘This is beyond priceless.’

  ‘And up the stairs Vera and I went, the minute they were out the door.’

  ‘I think it really is helping you to talk about this,’ Joanie said, ‘don’t you?’

  ‘I’m just so sleep deprived I can’t help it.’

  ‘You went upstairs.’

  ‘To her grandparents’ room,’ he said, ‘which was in the front of the house. They had a very small house, a terraced house.’

  ‘A what?’

  ‘Terraced house.’

  ‘What’s that.’

  ‘What’s a terraced house?’

  ‘Oh, oh, oh,’ she said. ‘A terraced house. Go on. I’m sorry.’

  ‘So there we were. In the front room. Their bedroom. And you know what was directly across the street through the big front window.’

  ‘What.’

  ‘The restaurant.’

  ‘You could see it?’

  ‘It dominated the view.’

  ‘Oh my God,’ she said, throwing back her head.

  ‘As I think back about this,’ Colin said, reaching up to wipe his eye with the back of his hand, ‘I have no idea how we could have been so serious under the circumstances.’

  ‘The first time is always serious, Colin.’

  ‘That’s what it was.’

  ‘So there you were, the two of you, up in Nana’s bedroom.’

  Colin nodded. ‘And we just went ahead.’

  ‘You just went ahead with it.’

  He shrugged. ‘Almost like we’d done it a hundred times before. That’s how close we were.’

  ‘On her grandparents’ bed.’

  ‘No, not on the bed.’

  ‘Where.’

  ‘You don’t want to hear all this.’

  ‘Colin, it’s helping you. Don’t question.’

  ‘On the chair.’

  She nodded. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Their easy chair,’ he said, ‘so we could look out the window.’

  ‘Why would you want to do that.’

  ‘Because one of them could have forgotten something.’

  ‘Oh I see.’

  ‘One of them could have had to come back across the street for something.’

  ‘Seniors can be forgetful.’

  ‘So we just … you know …’

  It was quiet a moment.

  ‘What.’

  ‘What,’ Colin repeated.

  She made a motion with her hand. ‘You were going to say …’

  ‘We just … proceeded.’

  ‘Colin, you’re coming back to life here as we speak.’

  ‘Details of it?’

  ‘You mustn’t regress.’

  Colin shrugged. ‘We took our trousers down.’

  ‘Vera was wearing trousers,’ Joanie said.

  ‘As best I can remember. That’s what she always wore back then.’

  ‘Levi’s?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Just go on.’

  ‘I don’t remember what brand they were, but the next thing we did was to move the chair over next to window so we could keep an eye out.’

  ‘On the restaurant.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And you got in the chair.’

  ‘Sort of on it, really. Sort of draped across it, as I think back. It was a very small chair. You know, I don’t really see how we did get into that position.’ Again he began to smile. ‘But here’s the part I don’t think you’ll believe.’

  ‘I’ll believe it, Colin.’

  ‘I hardly do myself.’

  ‘Tell me.’

  ‘The waiter had seated her grandparents—listen to this …’

  ‘I’m listening.’

  ‘He’d seated them at the table by the front window of the restaurant.’

  ‘Oh no.’

  ‘So there Vera and I were, on this tiny chair, having sex for the first time in either of our lives, craning our necks around at the same time and watching her nana and granddad eating shepherd’s pie across the street.’

  Joanie whooped.

  ‘Without a doubt,’ Colin said, again wiping at his eye, ‘I would have to say that was the most bizarre situation I’ve ever been in. Ever. Bar none.’

  ‘I’ve never heard anything that funny before in my life,’ Joanie said, wiping at one of her own eyes.

  ‘Oh Jesus!’ Suddenly Colin sat down again, heavily, in the chair. ‘Oh Jesus!’ He put his face in his hands. ‘Oh God!’ He began shaking his head.

  Joanie hurried to him. ‘I want you to do something for me,’ she said, taking his elbow. ‘First stand up.’ She tried to help him up from the chair. ‘Colin.’

  ‘Oh God.’

  ‘Here comes another guest.’

  He looked up. Through the window he could see an elderly woman approaching the office. ‘God help me,’ he said, getting to his feet.

  ‘Here we go.’

  They walked slowly to the door. As they opened it, the woman was standing just outside. ‘This card won’t open my door today,’ she said, holding a plastic card up in front of Joanie. ‘It worked fine yesterday.’

  ‘I need to reprogram it,’ Joanie said, helping Colin out past her. ‘Can you just wait in the office for a minute and I’ll be right back.’

  She was frowning at them.

  ‘Just go inside, please.’

  The woman stepped inside the office.

  ‘We h
ave some wonderful brochures over there.’

  ‘I saw those yesterday.’

  Joanie closed the office door.

  ‘Never before in my life have I acted this way with a stranger,’ Colin said.

  ‘Come on, Colin.’ Keeping hold of his elbow, she led him along beside the building.

  ‘When you think of British people after this,’ he said, stumbling, ‘please think of those businessmen who were here last month.’

  They stopped beside a large sliding door. ‘Wait for me here, Colin.’

  ‘I’m not representative.’

  She slid open the door and went inside.

  On the other side of the driveway was the motel swimming pool, and floating on the surface of the pool was one bright red leaf and one yellow one. Bent forward slightly, Colin stared at the two leaves till Joanie returned.

  ‘This’ll help you sleep,’ she said, stepping through the door, showing him a little white pill. She had a glass of water in her other hand.

  ‘I don’t use prescription medication.’

  ‘You do now,’ she said, giving it to him. ‘And while you’re asleep I’m going to call someone, a very good person, a very good friend—Mandy, the one who phoned earlier—and she’ll be here when you wake up.’

  ‘I can’t see anyone like this.’

  ‘Mandy’s a trained care-giver, Colin.’

  ‘A trained what?’

  ‘Care-giver.’

  ‘No,’ he said, shaking his head.

  ‘Put this in your mouth,’ she said, taking the pill back out of his hand. ‘Open.’

  ‘Let me meet your friend in a few days, after I’ve …’

  She pushed the pill into his mouth.

  ‘… got hold of myself.’

  She raised the glass to his lips. ‘Swallow.’

  ‘Mrs Fisher.’

  ‘Please call me Joanie.’

  ‘Joanie.’

  ‘Now Mandy’s a slightly younger person,’ she said, putting one of her hands on the back of his head as she tipped the glass up against his lips, ‘but she’s one of my very closest friends, and she’s just wonderful with people. Swallow, Colin.’

  Water ran down over his chin and on to his shirt as he swallowed.

  ‘Did it go down?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘Swallow again.’

  ‘Don’t tip it so much.’

  ‘Mandy has two weeks off,’ Joanie said, as he took another swallow. ‘She’s just starting her second week so this works out perfectly.’

  ‘Two weeks off from what.’

  ‘Did it go down?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Joanie poured the rest of the water into a potted plant beside them. ‘Shining Shores,’ she said.

  ‘What’s that.’

  ‘It’s our nursing home.’

  ‘She works at a nursing home?’

  ‘And she’s getting very depressed during her break, with nothing to do. She’s begun calling me two and three times a day, not that I would ever begrudge Mandy the time …’ She turned Colin, pointing him toward his room. ‘… but after all, I do have a motel to run during the height of Foliage Season.’ She helped him start moving forward. ‘So for her to have a care-giving challenge like this just show up on her doorstep almost seems like a gift from above.’ She let go of him. ‘Can you make it the rest of the way?’

  ‘I can,’ he said, walking forward on his own.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You’re in good hands here, Colin,’ she said after him.

  ‘I know,’ Colin said ‘Thank you. Goodbye.’

  3

  There was a damp, warm sensation on Colin’s forehead when he woke up. It moved slowly down one side of his face, then up the other. He opened his eyes. A young woman was seated in the chair beside his bed, holding her finger over her lips. ‘Shhh,’ she said. With her other hand she moved the moist washcloth over his face again.

  ‘Mandy,’ Colin said.

  She placed her fingers over his eyes and closed them.

  ‘You are Mandy,’ he said with them shut.

  ‘Don’t worry about who I am,’ she said quietly. ‘But I just want you to do one thing for me.’

  ‘What’s that.’

  ‘You don’t have to talk,’ she said, ‘but I want you to think of the most peaceful place you’ve ever been. Just nod if you’re willing to do that for me.’

  Colin nodded.

  ‘Try and think of a place so peaceful that one day you’d like to go back there and stay a long, long time. Will you do that for me?’

  ‘If you’d like.’

  ‘Don’t talk. Just nod.’

  He nodded.

  ‘And if you can,’ she said, ‘try and make this place you’re thinking of a place that’s beyond time and space itself.’ She set down her washcloth and began to massage his forehead. ‘Are you doing that?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘You’re not?’

  Again he shook it.

  ‘Why aren’t you doing that. You can talk to tell me.’

  ‘Beyond time and space,’ he said. ‘What does that mean.’

  ‘What does it mean?’

  ‘I have no concept of it.’

  ‘Well it’s kind of hard to explain,’ she said after a moment. ‘Look, just think of a peaceful place.’ She moved her hand down from his forehead and over his eyes for a moment, then went back to massaging him.

  ‘Are you doing it?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You’re thinking of the most peaceful place you’ve ever been.’

  ‘One of them.’

  ‘And do you want to tell me what it is?’

  ‘A beach.’

  She pressed her thumbs in against his temples. ‘And where is this peaceful beach.’

  ‘The Canaries.’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘The Canary Islands.’

  ‘Where’s that.’

  ‘Off the coast of Spain.’

  ‘And what were you doing there.’

  ‘Vera’s best friend at the time worked for Thomas Cook,’ he said. ‘We got a special fare.’

  ‘Vera.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘The person you came here to forget?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Okay, well you shouldn’t make it a place you went with her.’ She began massaging Colin’s scalp. ‘Think of the most peaceful place you’ve ever been without her.’

  He was quiet as she continued to go over the top of his head with her fingers. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Do you have it?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And do you want to tell me what it is.’

  ‘A forest.’

  She nodded. ‘In England?’

  ‘Could I just say something a little off the subject.’

  ‘Just tell me if the forest is in England.’

  ‘It is.’

  ‘And do you feel perfectly peaceful there?’

  ‘Yes, but I’m—’

  ‘And is it a beautiful, quiet, restful place you wish you could stay in for ever and ever?’

  Colin opened his eyes. ‘Not to change the subject,’ he said, ‘but is this a care-giving technique of some sort you’re doing?’

  ‘I guess you could call it that.’

  ‘That you learned where you work.’

  ‘I learned it in training. I apply it where I work.’

  ‘Right,’ he said, ‘but my point is, I don’t think I’m exactly the type of person it’s meant to be applied to.’

  ‘Don’t you like to feel peaceful?’

  ‘I like to feel peaceful,’ he said, raising himself up on his elbow. ‘I’m just saying I think the terminology you’re using is tailored for someone in a slightly different situation.’

  ‘It’s tailored for people who are preparing for their Journey,’ she said.

  ‘Their Journey.’

  ‘That’s what we call it.’

  ‘I see. And do
I strike you as someone who’s preparing for my Journey?’

  ‘You might be. From what Joanie said.’

  ‘And what did Joanie say.’

  ‘Well that’s sort of confidential.’

  Colin raised up on both elbows. ‘Why.’

  ‘You just always treat that type of information confidentially.’

  ‘Where you work you treat it confidentially.’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘But this is a motel.’

  ‘I’m aware of that.’

  ‘Well listen.’ He sat the rest of the way up. ‘You really have helped, but I think this is probably as relaxed as I’m going to get for now.’

  ‘Could I ask you something?’ she said.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘You’re here to forget this person Vera,’ she said.

  ‘And get away from the things I associate with her.’

  ‘But here’s what I don’t get,’ Mandy said, ‘and I’m not trying to be rude.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I mean why New Cardiff,’ she said. ‘Do you know anyone here?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Have you ever been here before.’

  ‘I haven’t.’

  ‘Well did you hear about the town or something when you were over in England?’

  ‘No.’

  She shrugged. ‘Like I say, I’m sorry to be rude, but what are you doing here. I know I shouldn’t be so curious, but I just am.’

  ‘A person has every right to know why someone’s in their town.’

  ‘I mean when you got on the bus, why did you buy your ticket for here?’

  ‘I didn’t. I bought it for somewhere in Maine.’

  ‘Well so why did you get off here.’

  ‘I noticed the monument.’

  When she didn’t respond for a few moments, he turned toward her. She was looking down at the carpet.

  ‘The Battlefield Monument,’ he said.

  She remained quiet for several more seconds.

  ‘Mandy?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘You just saw it out the window?’ she said, looking back at him.

  ‘There it was.’

  ‘And that’s the only reason you got off.’

  ‘This seems hard for people to grasp,’ Colin said, frowning for a moment. ‘Let me think if there were any others.’

  Mandy was sitting very still in the chair.

  ‘Someone tried to flush an apple down the toilet in Connecticut,’ he said, ‘so that was broken. I suppose that was a minor consideration.’