Wanting Winter

by J. L. Ostle

  In just a few weeks I have been with three men.

  Drake stands up and his face is scrunched up, his head shaking, avoiding looking at me. He tucks himself away and I get off his car, pulling my dress down.

  “Are you okay? Didn’t you like it?” I bite my lip.

  “No, it's not that. That was better than my imagination could ever imagine.” He pauses. “We didn’t use anything,” he says.

  “I’m on the implant,” I tell him.

  He nods. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”

  He takes hold of my hand, guiding me into the building. We walk up the stairs, neither of us saying a word. I feel like we are more distant now that we have had sex. I feel like this big wall is now between us. When we get to my door, he can hardly look at me and I wrap my arms around my middle, feeling cold.

  Does he regret it?

  “Do you want to come in? Cuddle on the couch?” I give him a small smile.

  He looks at my door then down the hallway. “I think I’d better head home myself.”

  I nod my head, feeling disappointed and hurt. “Okay. Will I see you tomorrow?” I can hear the neediness in my voice.

  “I’ll give you a call.” He comes forward, kissing my lips softly before pulling back and leaving. I stay there watching him until he’s gone.

  Walking into my apartment, I close the door behind me, sliding down it, hugging my knees to myself, tears falling down my face.

  It was me who wanted it, but why do I feel used?

  Or that it was the worse sex of his life?

  I don’t know how long I sit there for before there is a knock on the door. I stand up hoping its Drake, changing his mind.

  Opening it, I am surprised who is standing there.

  “Trent, what are you doing here?”

  Drake

  I have waited so long to be with Winter, I have dreamt about being with her. Watching her fall apart because of me, knowing she was in ecstasy should have pleased me, but it didn’t.

  When I was fucking her, it was so good, but after, when I looked at her, she’d changed in my eyes somehow. I can’t explain it, but seeing her sitting on my car, her pussy bare, knowing another guy was inside her before made me want to mark her as my own.

  But now…I feel differently.

  I just wish I knew why.

  She looked so sad when I told her I was heading back to my place. I know she wanted me to hold her, to comfort her, but I just couldn’t do it.

  Seventeen

  Trent

  An hour earlier

  “Why did you have to bring me home? I was having a good time,” Candice whines, slurring over her words.

  Even though she has slept, she has woken up still drunk and she is really starting to annoy me.

  “You fucking passed out. What is wrong with you? Why did you drink so much?” I yell at her.

  “When Winter passed out she was all cute and sweet, but when I do it, I am a fucking mess. Can you blame me for drinking so much when my boyfriend can’t keep his eyes off his ex? You ignored me,” she spits at me.

  “I told you that I still wanted her before I took this so-called relationship on. I said I was still into Winter, and you said you understood.”

  “I didn’t think you would be fucking me and pining over her at the same time. You aren’t even trying. You enjoy getting your dick wet but when it comes to getting to know me, you’d rather stab your eye with a pen.” She heads to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water.

  “I have tried to get to know you, but there’s nothing there. The sex is good, but a relationship can’t be built on just that.

  “I was fucking my best friend’s boyfriend; did you really think I was a saint? People annoy me.”

  I watch her drink most of the water before setting it down and shake my head. How did Winter have her as a friend? Winter probably brought out the better side to her.

  Again, my thoughts are on Winter.

  “I can’t do this anymore.” I face her.

  “I heard that line before.” She walks slowly towards me. “You say you can’t do this, but your dick still wants it.” Her hands slide down my body until she takes hold of my covered cock. “He likes me,” she whispers.

  My dick does like her, but I am starting to resent her.

  “I don’t care if my dick likes you. I am sure it would stand up for any girl touching it. All we do is argue and fuck. It’s not healthy.”

  “Nothing about us was ever healthy. Why don’t we just have a good fuck then go to bed.” She starts to pull down my zip.

  I pull away from her, walking towards the window. “I don’t want to be with you, Candice. Each day I am with you, the more I wish I was with Winter,” I say honestly.

  I see the anger in her eyes and she grabs the vase that’s close to her, throwing it at me. Luckily it bounces off the wall and not through the window.

  “I am sick of hearing her fucking name. She won’t touch you. She hates you as much as she hates me. You have no chance with her,” she screams.

  “But I have to try. I’m sorry Candice.”

  She laughs. She actually laughs like a crazy person. “I lost the only person who sincerely liked me for you because I thought you would be different. I wanted what you both had. I now have no one.” Her voice shakes on the last sentence. I start to walk towards her, but she raises her hand stopping me. “I’m going to go. Enjoy being alone,” she says before she is out the door, slamming it shut.

  I stand there feeling lighter.

  I look out the window and this pain hits me right in the chest as I see Winter fucking Drake on top of his car—see him fuck her like some kind of wild animal.

  I bet all this birthdays and Christmases have come at once.

  I look away sitting on the couch, my face in my hands.

  We aren’t together, and I have been fucking someone else this whole time, but deep down I was hoping Winter wouldn’t sleep with anyone else. Knowing that she hadn’t slept with anyone since her ex until me, I was hoping it would be the same, but obviously not.

  Fuck.

  Joshua

  I am near the doorway watching Winter chase after Drake. The look on her face like she could lose him is the most unbearable thing in the world. I continue watching them, seeing that panic look on her face until she kisses him.

  We just fucked each other, and she ends up kissing someone else.

  I know she said she didn’t want to be exclusive, but like hell would I have kissed someone just after fucking her. I know that if I did, she would slap me and call me a bastard.

  She gets in the car with him and drives off. She doesn’t even tell me she is going.

  I head back inside to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of vodka, and drinking from the bottle, letting the burn run down my throat.

  “Woah man, want to take it easy?” Chris, my teammate says.

  “Fuck that.” I drink some more.

  “I saw you go upstairs with the Ice Queen. Was it everything you thought it would be?” He claps me on the shoulder.

  “Don’t call her that,” I warn him, and he puts his hands up.

  “You really do like her, don’t you? I thought she was just some conquest.”

  Yeah so did I. “Things change.”

  “Does she know about the plan you and Candice made up?”

  I look around, making sure no else has heard. I only told him, and I know if it got out, it would either be him or Candice that told. “Be careful where you say that shit.”

  Candice had this plan and I can’t believe it actually worked. When she told me that she could help me get Winter, I agreed. I knew that she was blackmailing Trent. I knew that they’d fucked. Candice said what had happened at the club and I knew that I had to help her put the final nail in the coffin. I knew Trent wouldn’t be able to resist the good sex as well as a girl who makes herself vulnerable.

  I’d told her to head to his place.

  She messaged me when she was meeting Tren
t at the park, so I was ready to film the whole thing. I didn’t think he would have chosen Candice over Winter, but it made things so much easier.

  Candice told me what Winter liked about Trent, how she liked how he treated her and made her feel safe. Basically I just needed to be a nice guy, but ensure I flirty so I wouldn’t be put in the friend zone.

  It worked.

  I finally fucked her, and it was so much more than what I’d expected—it was fucking mind-blowing.

  I want her now more than ever before. I just wasn’t expecting her to also fall for Drake.

  “Hey man, can you give me a lift,” I ask Chris.

  “Sure. You’re lucky I haven’t drunk anything tonight.”

  We walk to his car and I tell him where to go and when we get closer to Winter’s building, I tell him to stop. I see her and Drake talking just a few feet away and I grit my teeth when I see her kissing him—see her throw herself at him.

  I pray for him to turn her down but what man could say no to her?

  He fucks her on his car—fucks her where anyone could see.

  “Fuck man.” I hear Chris say but my eyes are still glued to what’s happening in front of me.

  Winter

  Now

  “Trent, what are you doing here?” I wipe away my remaining tears.

  His eyes are trained on me with a concerned look. “Are you okay?”

  I wave him off. “I’m fine,” I lie. I walk in the living room, sitting down on my couch with him still standing in the doorway. I’m not in the mood to fight. “Has Drake sent you down here?” I ask, hopefully.

  He shakes his head, closing the door behind him and sitting next to me. “No, he didn’t. He told me you two slept together.”

  I look at him surprised. He told Trent we slept together? “Why did he tell you?”

  “He doesn’t want shit to be between us. I also told him I left Candice.”

  I look at him and he is watching me intently.

  “I hope you didn’t leave her for me,” I say with a stern voice.

  He shakes his head. “It wasn’t working. She isn’t the girl I thought she was,” he sighs.

  “Sorry to hear that.” I’m not, but don’t know what else to say.

  “I know you’re not, but thank you for not saying I told you so. I can’t believe how much I messed up.” He rubs the back of his neck.

  “You messed up really bad,” I tell him.

  “I know you’re moving on, I see it in your eyes. You are looking at me with indifference. There’s no hate, anger, or even sadness.”

  “I had to move on. Joshua and Drake are a big reason why I have managed to. They have been amazing.” I bite my lip. He knows I slept with his best friend, but he doesn’t know I also slept with Joshua.

  “I get that. I don’t want to hurt you, but I need to say this.” He moves his body closer to me. “I want you back. I know you don’t trust me; I know I will have to earn that. I am even happy to be just your friend, but I need you in my life Winter. I miss you so much. This past week has been hell.”

  I stand up looking at him angrily. “It has been hell for you? What torture it must have been, you fucking my best friend. It must have been agony. It’s me who has been in hell Trent, I am the one who got stabbed in the back,” I shout at him.

  He stands in front of me. “I know, I just mean, I miss you so much. The whole time I was with Candice, I kept thinking about you.”

  I start to laugh. “That is what? Meant to make me feel better. You didn’t just cheat on me, you cheated on me with the only person I was close to.”

  “I know. Tell me you feel nothing for me at all and I swear I will walk out that door and leave you alone for the rest of your life, but if there is a small part of you that misses me, that still likes me, I will keep trying. I will prove to you that I can be the man you deserve.”

  I look at him angrily. “You want to be with me even though I just fucked your best friend not that long ago? How do you know that we are not together?”

  “He told me that you two aren’t. I don’t care that you slept with him. I deserve to feel the same hurt you felt, even though it is tiny in comparison.”

  I feel a little hurt that Drake told him that we aren’t together. It just means he doesn’t want to, or he would have told him so.

  “I also slept with Joshua tonight,” I blurt out.

  Anger fills his eyes.

  “Still want to be with me?”

  “Yes,” he answers.

  “Even though their dicks have marked me? Been inside me?”

  “Yes,” he says, trying to say it calmly, but I know it is bothering him.

  “I don’t know who is more fucked up. You or me.” I shake my head. I am about to turn away when he pulls me into him, gripping my arms, his lips landing on mine in a hungry kiss that electrifies my whole body. I shrug out of his touch, wrapping my arms around his neck, arching my body into his with that feeling shooting through my whole body.

  I’ve miss kissing him so much.

  I quickly pull away, stepping back, both of us panting. His eyes are hooded, looking at me like he wants to fuck me against this wall behind me.

  “I need time to think,” I tell him.

  He nods agreeing. “I can give you that, but know that I will win you back. There is something strong between us and you can’t deny that. Nothing you can do will stop me from wanting you,” he says before leaving.

  I press my hand against my chest to feel my heart beating a million times a minute.

  Fuck.

  How did I get myself into this position?

  Joshua and Trent have made it clear that they want me. I have given the impression to Joshua that I will sleep with him again. Drake though, I don’t even know where I stand with him, but I know I want him.

  I want all three of them.

  Joshua was a dick.

  Trent is a dick.

  Drake has been a friend.

  Shit.

  I walk to the kitchen to get myself a bottle of wine and am heading back to the living room when there is another knock on the door. I swear if it’s another guy confessing his feelings for me I will jump out my window.

  Opening the door, I look confused at the person standing in my doorway—wondering what he’s doing here—when I see him swinging his arm back and feel him backhand me across the face causing me to the fall to the ground. I look up in shock, my hand going to my face, feeling the heat radiating from it. Looking into the eyes of so much anger, I start to feel a little scared. I scream out when he kicks me in the stomach. I go into the fetal position to ease the agonizing pain. “Why are you doing this?” I cry.

  He leans down so we are face to face. “You had to become the new whore in town. You know how much I liked you. I told you I was going to change your mind, and I guess this is the only way I’m going to do it.”

  I feel another slap across my face. “I am going to treat you like the queen you are. The Ice Queen.”

  “This isn’t you,” I say with a shaky voice.

  “How would you know? People change. Just like you have. In a couple of weeks, you have changed into another whore—another slapper—opening your legs to anyone who says a few nice words to you,” he laughs. “But you wouldn’t sleep with me, would you?”

  “Patrick, please,” I beg him.

  “I am going to rectify that, right now. Not fair for these assholes to get a taste of you when I can’t. Me: the one who has been your friend, been at your side, looking after you for the last few years and now these guys come into your life and you just what? Push me aside? I don’t think so. I am going to get what I deserve.” He kneels down pulling me towards him.

  “Please don’t do this.” I try to pull away but my whole body is in so much pain that I can hardly move.

  “You are going to enjoy this, Winter, I promise you that.” He lifts my dress and he smirks when he sees I’m not wearing any underwear.

  I sob out.

  “You
are a dirty slut, aren’t you?” He hands glide up my legs.

  “Someone help me,” I scream out.

  I almost see stars when I feel a shooting pain across my head.

  “Scream again, I dare you,” he says, angrily.

  “Stop,” I barely get out.

  “Your pussy looks so good.” He leans down, and I feel his tongue go between my folds.

  I try to tuck my body away from him, but he holds me down. I feel his tongue go to my clit, sucking hard.

  “You taste so good, even though I can taste that asshole’s come inside you.” His nails dig into my thighs, and I scream out in pain.

  He continues licking and sucking but I don’t get wet; I am dry as anything. My body knows that this isn’t pleasurable—my body is in pain and begging for some kind of relief.

  “I can’t wait to be inside you.” He stands, bringing down his jeans and boxers, his erection pressing against his stomach. “I am going to mark you, Winter—fill you up with my come. I hope you are ready.” He hovers above me.

  “Patrick, please don’t do this,” I cry.

  He strokes my hair before he grabs hold of my wrists pinning them above my head. “You will like it.” He smirks before entering me in one quick motion. With no lubrication, it hurts so much. He thrusts out and back in just as hard.

  I cry out.

  This can’t be happening to me.

  He continues fucking me even though nothing about this is pleasing me. I remain dry, but it doesn’t stop him, he keeps going, panting in my ear. I just lay there crying.

  I cry with each thrust.

  I cry with each nasty word he says to me.

  I sob when he comes inside me.

  He stands up getting dressed with a pleased look on his face. I pray he leaves and just lets me lay here in my own personal hell.

  It's wishful thinking.

  I watch him go to a bag he left at the door and he pulls out a cloth and a bottle of something. “You are coming with me, Winter.” I see him put the liquid from the bottle onto the cloth and it doesn’t take a genius to guess what it is. I have seen enough movies.