Entrusted: A Drug of Desire Novel

by Sidney Bristol

  “I do, it’s just…going to take some time. Maybe when this is all over we can do something. Just the two of us. No schedules or any of this.” He ran his fingers through her hair, pulling it over her shoulder until it fell nearly to the mattress.

  “I’d like that.”

  “Me, too.”

  The tension eased from her face. God, she was beautiful. To him, she was perfection.

  “Okay, buddy, you’re going down now.” Raven picked up Níłch’i, who grunted and glanced to him for help. She deposited the dog on the floor and rolled back toward him.

  He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him.

  Fuck it.

  Holding her felt right, and in a world where he hardly knew himself, he wasn’t about to let the one thing he wanted get away.

  Matías kissed her, rolling her onto her back, pushing the sheets and blanket aside. She curved her hands around his head, pulling him closer. They craved each other, plain and simple. They’d admitted as much, so what was the sense in denying it?

  He settled on top of her, caging her between his legs and arms, pressing her down into the mattress with his weight. She was completely under his command. Another time, he might marvel at the beautiful, strong and independent woman who had come to him of her own free will, but right now all that mattered was feeding the need.

  She shifted under him, her feet moving restlessly in their cage and her arms squeezing him closer, as if they weren’t as close as two people could be.

  Kissing her was a religious experience. His heart raced faster than it had when he was a teen with his first crush. Something about her had him by the balls and wasn’t letting him go. He prayed he would last, show her pleasure and mend the fractures in their budding relationship.

  He shifted, sliding a knee between her thighs. She hooked her freed leg around his hip and tightened her hold on his shoulders. He felt the barest whisper of her nails as he rested his palm on her mound. She could do better than that. He pushed the material aside and slid his index finger into her wet heat.

  Raven’s eyes fluttered wide and she gasped, breaking the kiss. In her passion, her face telegraphed everything she felt. The tiny muscles tensed and relaxed, creasing her face as he stroked her and pushed her desire higher. He gently massaged her clit with his thumb and her spine arched, her head tipped back and she groaned as she dug her fingers into his shoulders.

  “Damn, you are so wet,” he whispered against her cheek.

  “Do you blame me?” Her breathing stopped as he curled his fingers within her.

  “No. I’m just that talented.”

  She laughed, but it hitched into a moan.

  He was consumed with the desire to see her climax. He hadn’t gotten a woman off face to face in…years. It was a layer of vulnerability he never wanted to peel back, but with Raven, he wanted to experience all of her pleasure. Every last second of it.

  He curled his fingers, seeking that inner spot, the hidden seat of bliss.

  “Oh—oh!” Raven hissed and her nails raked over his shoulder.

  Matías groaned and pumped his fingers harder, twisting and rubbing her clit with each pass. He gave her the steady, driving pace, and watched her features. Her brows drew down into a line and the furrows grew deeper, her eyes squeezed so tightly shut.

  “Mm, come for me.” He nuzzled the side of her face and kissed the corners of her mouth.

  Her breathing hitched, and her body bowed toward him. Her eyes flew open and in their depths he saw his reflection.

  “Beautiful,” he whispered.

  She slumped against the sheets, momentarily spent.

  He sat up and drew her panties down her legs. Both of their underwear went sailing over the edge of the bed. He pulled open the nightstand and grabbed a condom out of the box he’d stashed there.

  “I like the way you think,” Raven said, her voice a low purr. He glanced at her as he ripped the packet open. She slid her hands up her stomach to cup her breasts, fingers teasing her nipples. “Matías, I need you.”

  Fuck.

  He palmed his dick. It would be far too easy to lose himself watching her touch herself. He wanted to be in her this time. She watched him roll the condom on in a quick motion. As she reached for him, he descended on her, forcing her thighs open and kneeling between her legs. He wanted her more than he wanted to finish this op.

  The thought momentarily froze him as his world adjusted.

  Raven grasped his cock, her hot little hands bringing him back into the moment. She guided him to her entrance, staring deeply into his eyes. As he pushed into her channel, joining their flesh, it felt as if they knit together on an elemental, spiritual level. When she breathed, he felt the shuddering of her lungs, and when his arms trembled, she caressed his forearms, as though she was aware of it too.

  Was she aware of his thoughts? He couldn’t tell if it was just him, or if she was as tied up as he’d become. But he wanted her.

  He withdrew and thrust, keeping the pace slow, savoring the feel of her orgasm-slick pussy around him. Her mouth opened and closed, emitting no sound, but he could feel the way her body wound tight, her muscles undulating and squeezing him. It felt damn good. With each thrust, her eyes fluttered wide, hiding nothing. A touch of fear, a lot of lust, and something tender.

  Matías wrapped her hair around his hands, bracketing her head with his forearms, and thrust harder, driving her to pleasure, determined to see her come a second time. She curled her legs around him, moving in time to his thrusts. Raven moaned, chanting words lost in her rapid breathing. Her hands coasted over his back and chest, down his arms and cupped his face, always moving. He bent his head and kissed her. He devoured her mouth, biting her lower lip as his control slowly dissolved, washed away by a woman who held the key to the person he’d forgotten.

  Her nails scored his shoulders, and he groaned. Raven buried her face in the crook of his neck—and bit him. She fucking dug her little teeth in and held on.

  He growled and pounded into her. She let go and he reared up, staring deep into her eyes, without losing his rhythm. Her jaw dropped and she made little, helpless noises as she shifted below him, as if she were trying to get away and come closer all at once.

  Raven tossed her head back and screamed, her whole body tightening around him and her nails slicing into his arms. He didn’t relent. She’d found her pleasure, and in her bliss, he’d seen deeper into her soul than before. Her scream became a squeal and her head tossed back and forth on the pillows as he continued to make love to her.

  Raven’s body pulsed. Every movement of Matías’ cock in and out of her rubbed her nerve endings and sent her catapulting into a black abyss of pleasure. It was amazing—and too much. Yet she wanted more.

  Matías slowed, his hard cock still inside of her. He rested his forehead against hers, their breath mingling as he pushed hair off her face.

  “Why are you stopping?” she asked between breaths. Her brain wasn’t so far gone that she hadn’t missed his lack of release.

  “I can’t,” he said.

  “Can’t? Can’t what?” She blinked rapidly as guilt gnawed at her. Was it because of what she’d done? Was that a wedge between them now?

  Matías levered up on his hands, but didn’t look at her. Of course, he couldn’t. She’d lied to him, trampled his trust and now they were, what? Done? Over? His hair clung to his forehead, matted with sweat.

  “I can’t get off.” He pulled out of her and flopped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

  He couldn’t orgasm?

  At all?

  Seriously?

  He’d done just fine earlier.

  “Is it me?” Had their breach of trust changed things that much?

  “No, it’s me. I’m just…not good with…never mind. Forget it.”

  “What? No.” She stopped his hands as he reached for the condom. The momentary sweet taste of relief was tainted by the idea that somehow, in all of this pleasure, Matías was lef
t wanting.

  There was no way in hell he was making her orgasm—twice—and not getting there himself. They just had to figure out what worked. People didn’t always orgasm every time, though with him it was damn hard to imagine not coming so hard she broke something.

  He allowed her to draw his hands up to his chest, palms splayed over his ribs. Maybe he was just trying too hard. Perhaps…he needed to let someone else do it for him.

  Raven straddled his thighs, his still-erect cock between them. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach. So far, Matías had told her exactly what he wanted of her, but now it was time to please him.

  Could she?

  “Let me try.” She slid her hands up and down the V of muscle along his pelvic bones. Whatever he was doing to get that—he just needed to keep doing it. She traced the place where thigh met pelvis and stopped breathing.

  He didn’t give her permission, but neither was he stopping her.

  Raven grasped his cock and held it while she positioned herself over him. She shoved her nerves and performance anxiety aside. This was about Matías, and giving him a fraction of the pleasure he’d given her.

  His hands wrapped around her thighs, steadying her as she sank onto him. Something about sex with Matías made her feel dirty and good, all at once. She planted her hands on his chest and moved, up and down, tightening her internal muscles so she squeezed his length, from root to tip.

  At first, she watched him, noticing how the muscles in his face would tense and relax, how his mouth worked without sound. His fingers dug into her thighs. Clearly, she had to be doing something right. She closed her eyes, shutting out his flat stare, and let herself enjoy the feel of him inside of her. She arched her back and leaned forward, using her hips to increase the pace. Her body was warm, her muscles pliant. She pressed her palm to the still slightly-sore breast, biting her lip when she felt the dull ache in her muscles.

  Matías pushed her hands aside and took both of her nipples between his fingers, pinching them to the point of pain. She gasped and squeezed her eyes shut. Her internal muscles fluttered and her rhythm faltered. Matías lifted his hips, urging her on.

  She opened her eyes as she found her pace again, and found his gaze back on her, engaged and focused on her breasts. He stared at her with desire, and it didn’t matter if her breasts were small and her ass too big or his fake friends thought she was ugly. He wanted her.

  They moved in tandem, their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. He continued to massage and torment her breasts, digging his fingers into her sides as she found just the right angle. He began to groan, and his eyes lose focus.

  Not going to come, my ass.

  She redoubled her efforts, squeezing his cock tight, fucking him as hard and fast as she could.

  Matías roared—there was no other word for it—and grabbed her hair. He pulled her down until they were face to face, and thrust. It was hard, rough, and he did it over and over again before ceasing to move. He groaned, and his muscles tensed as he climaxed. She panted for breath, determined to watch him through all of it, and she did, until he closed his eyes and relaxed.

  A feeling of smug satisfaction settled around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. He wasn’t the only one who could do the taking care of.

  He stroked a hand down her back and kissed her brow. She smiled at the tender gesture and closed her eyes, content to feel as though she were wrapped up in him, and nothing else mattered. She could live the rest of her life like this—at least in her fantasies.

  They stayed like that for several moments, neither moving or speaking, simply existing. Their relationship, however it was defined, had taken a hit. And she didn’t know what would come next, but she hoped it wouldn’t be the end.

  Matías’ phone vibrated and flashed from where it sat on the nightstand. He groaned and reached for it. She watched him tap the texts.

  “What is it?” She pressed a hand to her mouth as she yawned.

  “Don’t go to sleep now. We just got our marching orders.” He tossed the phone down on the bed and hugged her to him. “We need to be at the airport in a few hours. Victor wants to meet my fake buyer, so we’ve got to go get him.”

  She groaned and buried her face in his neck.

  What she wouldn’t give to stay here, like this, instead of going off to play drug lords. When this was over, he’d be lucky if she didn’t stuff him in her little plane and kidnap him.

  Now, there was a thought.

  Matías stepped into the grand foyer at House Surrender and instantly found it easier to breathe. Following his release from the hospital and throughout his recovery, he’d been a guest off and on at the unique BDSM retreat. It was a three-story mansion on the north side of Chicago, just off Lake Michigan. In fact, the third story had a smaller dungeon with glass windows facing the lake and many a sub had claimed that playing up there induced the sensation of flying.

  “Matías.” A big, black man stepped out of the administrative offices to the left. He spread his arms and grinned.

  “Damien.” There were few people in this world Matías cared to see more than a few times. Damien was one of them.

  The two men hugged, slapping shoulders and talking over each other while more people filed out of the office. Damien clapped him on the shoulder and held him at arm’s length.

  “Not so sure about the longer hair, man.” Damien’s lip curled as he peered at Matías’ gelled style.

  “It’s part of the cover.” He shrugged.

  “Well, let me introduce you to everyone else. Wait.” Damien glanced over his shoulder. “Wasn’t there a woman with you?”

  “Raven’s outside with her dog. Thought it might be a good idea if we had a few moments alone.”

  “She has a dog?”

  “I didn’t mention that?”

  “No, man.”

  “Shit.” Matías scrubbed his face. He was slipping if he forgot an important detail like that.

  “We can accommodate a dog.” A tall Asian man, wearing black trousers and a long-sleeved shirt pushed up to his elbows, stepped forward. Dom Yamamoto was not a man who showed much emotion, but the corners of his mouth turned up. Barely. But the hint of a smile was there.

  “We’d appreciate that.” Matías shook their host’s hand and glanced at the others. They were all people he’d met that frequented the retreats. House Surrender was unlike any other BDSM establishment he’d been to before. “I think I know everyone else.”

  He did a quick round of handshakes and hugs, surprised at so many familiar faces, which included Damien’s girlfriend, Poppy.

  “Keeping it short?” he whispered as she hugged him surprisingly tightly for such a small woman.

  “Not forever. Just as long as he lets me.” She giggled and let go of him, running one hand over the close-cropped hair at the back of her head. Poppy was one of those rare people who brought the sunlight with her. During some of his darker moments, he’d sought her out, just to quietly sit near her. In those days, they’d both needed to heal after what they’d gone through, and Damien hadn’t begrudged him the time with her.

  “Is this it?” Matías asked.

  “Uh, well, Gio is on her way,” Damien said.

  Matías glanced between Damien and Yamamoto. He’d asked for Damien because the other DEA agent was part of the BDSM community and could pull this operation off in a way that was believable. Yamamoto, well, all Matías really knew was that he did contract work for the CIA, and even that much information about him had been hard to come by.

  “Is that a good idea?” Matías finally asked. He knew they needed a case agent, someone to be behind the scenes and in charge, but he’d hoped they could cut some corners.

  “It’s her or some new guys you wouldn’t like.” Damien shrugged and crossed his arms. “Look, I don’t like bringing her in on it either, but we know her. She’ll do the job better than anyone else.”

  “Have you explained the nature of this to her?”

  “H
ell, no. I called her close to midnight and was lucky to get her to agree.”

  Matías groaned.

  “Why don’t the two of you work on your roles, and I will handle Gio?” Yamamoto said.

  “You sure about that, man?” Damien asked, shaking his head.

  A bit of shadow to Matías’ left moved. He glanced toward it and his gaze snagged on a woman nearly six feet tall, with her long hair pinned up into a bun. She wore the same black, knit-sheath dress as the rest of the House Surrender employees. When their gazes met, she smiled and glanced down.

  Lillian had always had a smile that seemed to invite him to know her secrets. They’d had fun together, but he hadn’t really thought of her since he’d left Chicago. Damn. That was callous.

  One of the front doors opened and he heard nails clicking on the marble. He turned toward the sound, and found Raven standing just over the threshold, surveying the room, head held high, as if she belonged there. She was a queen. And when he looked at her, funny things happened inside of him.

  “You must be Raven.” Damien stepped forward, extending his hand toward her.

  Raven glanced from Damien to Matías and back. As if looking for permission. He wanted to laugh at the idea as soon as it came to mind. Raven wasn’t the type to ask. She’d do what she wanted and beg forgiveness later. But so would he.

  Matías glanced at Lillian and smiled, but there was no feeling there. They’d had fun, she was a nice girl, but she didn’t make him want to forsake everything he’d worked on. With Raven, it was a constant battle to not make the suggestion that they just fly away from it all. She had a plane, they could get clearance to fly wherever. It would be so easy.

  “Why don’t I show you to your rooms? Then we can get started on what we need to do tonight,” Damien said as Matías joined them.

  “Actually, we’ll just need one room,” Matías said. He knelt to scratch Níłch’i’s back.

  “Oh, okay.” Damien’s tone went up in pitch, clearly taken aback.

  “Lillian, please make sure that their bags are put in the corner suite,” Yamamoto said over the chatter.

  “Yes, Dom Yamamoto.” Lillian’s voice was barely above a whisper.