No Quest For The Wicked (Enchanted, Inc. #6)

by Shanna Swendson

  My jaw dropped. Seriously, that was all she could say about this? I’d actually been joking about her having no soul, but maybe I was right. I turned to see that Owen looked equally astonished. “I thought you were exaggerating about her,” he murmured. “I owe you an apology.”

  Then Mimi sighed heavily. “But I suppose you’ll do. It’ll certainly be different. Everyone does jazz combos and string quartets, and if I have to hear another harpist I’ll take a knife to the strings. People will definitely be talking.”

  When they aren’t crying, I thought. I wasn’t so sure that elfsong made the best dinner music, but I doubted Sylvester and the elves—which would make a great band name if they ever decided to perform—would stick around that long.

  Which reminded me, we were there to get the brooch. I shook my head to clear the last strands of elfsong-induced cobwebs. “What are we up to, Plan C?” I asked Owen.

  “Just Plan B, I think. We made two attempts with plan A, unless you count the one Thor interrupted. I won’t be able to make another go, though, since they already know I’m after it.”

  “I don’t know if I’ve got the skills,” I said. “Maybe we could get Rod to change your illusion.”

  “Oh, come on, don’t tell me you didn’t learn to slip stuff into or out of your brothers’ pockets,” he teased.

  “No, not really. I just got to be pretty good at knowing when they were trying to slip something into mine. It helped that most of the things they tried to slip into my pockets tended to slither.”

  “All you have to do is wait for her to take her hand out of her pocket, then when she’s distracted, bump or brush up against her. Grab the real brooch, drop in the fake one, then get away quickly. There will still be something in her pocket, so she won’t immediately assume she’s been robbed.”

  “That is, until she doesn’t get whatever power surge that thing’s giving her.”

  “She doesn’t know where the power’s coming from. She’ll feel a loss, certainly, but she wouldn’t know it’s the brooch, since she doesn’t know about magic—that is, unless she’s learned something since you quit working for her.”

  “You’ll take care of the diversion?”

  “Trust me. Now go look busy. Do something that takes you back and forth by Mimi a few times before you move in, so they’ll be used to you being in that area.” He handed me the duplicate brooch, then pulled me close for a quick kiss on my temple before sending me off with a playful swat on my behind that I was glad my grandmother wasn’t there to see. Where was she, anyway?

  I kept an eye out for her while I looked for a job to do that would help me blend in. The new linens had arrived, so I joined the group picking up stacks of tablecloths and napkins to distribute to the tables. I had to agree with the people who’d been talking earlier—there was no discernable difference between these and the ones we’d removed. It was typical Mimi, only magically amplified.

  Taking the linens to the tables gave me the opportunity to walk past Mimi several times. She didn’t seem to notice my existence, which was also typical Mimi. I was more concerned about her minions. They’d recovered from the elfsong, and the one reeking of expensive cologne had gone on full alert. Even if whatever illusion the elves used to mask their true natures worked on the puritan, he still had to know that something magical was afoot. I couldn’t tell if the other minion was part of the scheme. He mostly focused on his clipboard, jotting down every request Mimi made. If he was smart, he’d be recording everything she said because when she changed her mind, she thought the new thing was what she’d always wanted, and written evidence wasn’t good enough proof for her.

  I definitely didn’t miss that job, even if my current job was boring most of the time and dangerous the rest of the time.

  I’d made several trips past Mimi and her minions—which would also make a great band name—and I figured it was almost game time. I’d noticed both Rod and Owen on their phones, so I supposed they were concocting something. I just wished I knew where Granny was. I didn’t like wild cards—like, say, Thor and his battleaxe. Granny was an even bigger wild card than Thor, both literally and figuratively.

  I spotted her on the far side of the room, where pastry chefs were putting the finishing touches on a giant cake shaped like a wheelchair. I wasn’t sure that was in good taste for a charity focusing on helping people with spinal cord injuries, but it was certainly visual and memorable. Granny was supervising the placement of flowers around the cake wheelchair’s spokes. That meant we might be safe from interference for a while. Granny didn’t need a gem to make her bossy, and this opportunity to be bossy held even more allure for her than any magical brooch.

  I gave Owen a nod to signal that I was ready to move in for my mission, then headed to get one last armload of linens to carry to the table nearest where Mimi currently stood. Then, as though she was picking up on my brainwaves and doing exactly what I least wanted her to do, Mimi headed over to inspect the cake, bringing her within range of Granny.

  My initial plan thwarted, I changed course to go to the table nearest the cake. I thought it would be best if I were in position to intervene in case Granny did something strange. Well, stranger than normal. Even before she’d been open with me about her magic, I’d thought she was extremely eccentric.

  “What is this supposed to be?” Mimi demanded when she reached the cake.

  The cake decorators cringed and cowered, looking like dogs being scolded for making a mess on the carpet. That left Granny to face Mimi. She looked up at Mimi and snapped, “It’s a wheelchair made out of cake. Any fool can see that. What did you think it was?”

  Mimi was struck speechless. I wished I had a video camera because that wasn’t something that happened often. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, but nothing came out. She coughed, then sputtered, “I meant, why isn’t it the way I ordered it?”

  “And how did you order it?” Granny asked, her hands tightening on the top of her cane and her voice taking on an edge I recognized all too well. When her voice got that tone to it, even my mother quit arguing with her—and my mother’s main hobby, aside from trying to make me wear more makeup, was arguing with her mother.

  Mimi was distracted enough for me to slip in close to her, but her brooch pocket was too close to the cake table, and then she put her hand in her pocket, presumably to draw strength from the Eye so she could deal with Granny. “It–it was supposed to have a more metallic look in the icing,” Mimi eventually managed to say.

  Granny nodded. “Yes, I can see where that would be important. Metallic icing is just what’s keeping a cake shaped like a wheelchair from being tasteful.” The cake decorators grinned and clustered around Granny.

  Even from where I stood, I could see the lump in Mimi’s pocket where she formed a fist around the brooch. When she spoke, her words were tinged with power. “Do it as I ordered it.”

  Granny stared her down in silence. The cake crew started to cower again, but then drew strength from Granny and straightened defiantly. When Mimi began twitching anxiously, Granny said, “Well, alrighty, then. Girls, throw on some silver glitter. Don’t worry about how it’ll make the cake taste. Taste is obviously not a concern here. Want us to add some streamers to the handles? That’ll really jazz it up.” Behind her, the crew took some little vials of silver cake décor and began sprinkling it on the metal parts of the wheelchair cake. They hadn’t even waited for Mimi’s reply.

  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Either the Eye had met its match and found the one force in the universe that was more powerful than it was, or Granny was drawing power from the stone without actually being in possession of it. She was in total control of the situation, even while Mimi desperately clutched the brooch. I supposed it helped that Granny knew exactly what she was dealing with and maybe even knew how to channel its power, while Mimi had no idea what was going on other than that touching the brooch made her feel stronger.

  I moved so that I could catch Granny’s eye over
Mimi’s shoulder. If Granny was channeling the Eye, then maybe she could get Mimi to obey her. When I was sure Granny was looking at me, I mimed taking something out of my pocket and handing it over. Granny didn’t acknowledge me, but she stared Mimi down again and said, “Why don’t you show me that pretty thing you’ve got? Maybe we could work the design into the cake. That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Her voice had softened, taking on the tone of someone trying to get a toddler to hand over her candy, but it still had an edge of command to it, very much like the tone Mimi got when she touched the brooch.

  Mimi’s hand slowly moved out of her pocket. I couldn’t see from my angle, but it looked like she was taking the brooch out. She held her palm out to Granny, and Granny leaned over to look at it. “Ah, very nice, isn’t it?” she said sweetly. Then her voice hardened and she added, “Give it to me!”

  The puritan minion jumped forward to intercept, but he wasn’t fast enough. Mimi’s arm moved as though she was really going to do it, but then she jerked back, clutching the brooch against her chest and crying, “No! It’s mine!” Her minion breathed an obvious sigh of relief. Mimi shoved the brooch back into her pocket and kept her hand in there. It had come so close to working, but now I didn’t stand a chance of getting it away from her anytime soon. She’d be extra-clingy.

  I headed over to where Owen had watched the whole incident while spreading cloths over tables. “That was …interesting,” he said.

  “I think Granny was using the Eye,” I said, running my hand across the tablecloth to smooth out a wrinkle. “Is that possible?”

  “Maybe. There had to be a way of overpowering the owner and taking it over, or it wouldn’t have stirred up so much strife. The owner could have just commanded everyone to back off. A powerful person who knows what she’s doing might be able to use it from nearby without actually touching it or possessing it.”

  “Then maybe we could just keep Granny close to Mimi, and she can counteract or minimize the damage until we can find a way to make the switch. She already stopped Mimi from abusing the cake decorators.”

  “That may work for a while, but it won’t be enough later in the evening.”

  “Why not?”

  “When this event starts, this room will be filled with billionaire and millionaire philanthropists, celebrities, and politicians. Now, think about those kind of people surrounding the Eye.”

  “That’s when the real trouble will start,” I said, nodding as I imagined the likely scenario. “That’s probably what these magical puritans have planned—a big scuffle breaking out that they can resolve.”

  “Or worse, one of those people with real power getting the brooch away from Mimi. Imagine what might happen if a senator got that thing and took it to Washington. That’s when the real trouble would start that they could step in and save us all from by plunging us back into the Dark Ages.”

  “Yikes,” I said, shuddering. “Okay, then, we’ve got to get the brooch and get it out of the museum before the event starts.” I turned to watch Mimi fleeing from Granny to go micromanage something else, trailed by her minions. “Maybe we should use one of our darts on the puritan minion, get him out of the way, and then we can go for the brooch.”

  “Okay, let’s do it that way. Give me a dart and I’ll deal with the minion.”

  I took the case out of my purse, handed him a dart, and said, “I’ll distract him.”

  I picked up a flower arrangement and headed past Mimi and her minions. When I thought I was in the perfect position to distract all of them, I pretended to trip, dropping the arrangement so the vase shattered on the floor, the water splashed everyone nearby, and flowers flew in all directions.

  That triggered a patented Evil Mimi hissy fit outburst. “I do not believe the incompetence I’ve seen here today!” she shouted. “This is a world-class institution. I am trying to put on a world-class event. And yet you people can’t do anything right. You can’t get the linens right, you can’t get the flowers right, you can’t get the cake right, you can’t even walk across the room without dropping something. I’m terrified of what the food is going to be like. You, stop that!” she shouted at me as I bent to pick up the fallen flowers. “Don’t do another thing. Don’t touch anything else. I want you out of here, right away. This instant! Do you hear me?”

  She seemed to expect me to fall down and grovel or else scurry away in fear, but instead, I stood up and faced her, stepping toward her in a way that showed I wasn’t the least bit intimidated by her. I might not have been able to channel the power of the Eye the way Granny did, but I wasn’t influenced by it, either, and I had taken my last verbal abuse from Mimi almost a year ago. She had no power over me anymore, and it felt really good to know that.

  She stared at me. I figured she was baffled by the idea of a catering staff member not being cowed by her. But I didn’t expect what she said next.

  She frowned as if in disbelief, then said, “Katie Chandler? What are you doing here?”

  Chapter Twelve

  It was my turn to be stunned speechless. Mimi wasn’t supposed to be able to recognize me. I was magically disguised! I glanced over at Rod and saw that he was on the phone. Behind Mimi, Owen was also on the phone, so I assumed they were conferring about this very situation. Either Rod’s illusion on me had slipped, or the brooch made Mimi immune to magic and not just magical attack.

  “Well? Explain yourself!” Mimi snapped.

  I turned back to her as if just then remembering she was there—which was halfway true—gave my best mysterious Mona Lisa smile, and said, “That would be my business.”

  “You’re working for me, so that makes it my business.”

  “Actually, I’m not.” I had to bite the inside of my lip to keep from smiling. This was way too much fun.

  She waved her hand dismissively. “You may work for the catering or event company, but I’m the one hiring those companies, so ultimately, you work for me.”

  “Isn’t your foundation the one paying the bills?” I asked in mock innocence.

  “I’m the one signing the check,” she shot back. There was a slightly frantic edge to her voice, like she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with this situation. I’d never dared to openly defy her when I worked for her. She’d probably thought I was a meek little mouse then. I was a meek little mouse then, but saving the world from bad magic a few times does wonders for your confidence levels. I’d faced down dragons, evil wizards, and creatures out of my worst nightmares—and won. Even with a magical brooch, Mimi was nothing.

  “I still don’t work for you,” I said with a shrug. “I never said I worked for any of the event companies. I’m here for another purpose.”

  “I knew it!” she shrieked. “That crazy gossip blogger is trying to ruin me! He sent you here to infiltrate the place, didn’t he?” She dove at me, grabbing my shirt collar and getting right in my face. “Tell me, you little bitch!”

  “Takes one to know one,” I said, locking my eyes onto hers, which was easy because they were only a few inches away. It would have been difficult to focus on anything else.

  She straightened, released my collar, and drew back a hand as though to slap me, and that was exactly the wrong thing to do. For one thing, all the event staff had stopped what they were doing to watch the show, and I got the feeling that if she actually went through with the slap, she’d never be able to put on an event in this city, ever again. For another, my boyfriend was standing right behind her, watching her sternly after he’d ended his call to Rod, and he was immune to magic, so the protection of the Knot didn’t affect him as long as he didn’t use a weapon. She’d barely raised her hand before he jumped forward and grabbed her wrist.

  But most important, she’d threatened me in the presence of my grandmother, and Granny did not take kindly to people messing with her grandbabies. I’d known that Granny wasn’t as feeble as she sometimes pretended to be, but I had no idea how fast she could move. She’d have made a reasonable showing in the hundred-meter dash
at the Olympics. Almost before Owen grabbed Mimi’s wrist, Granny had managed to cross the room to insert herself between us.

  I would have liked to fight my own battle instead of letting my grandmother come to my defense, but there was no stopping Granny when she got her dander up. This would be a world championship-level bitch-off, the wily old battleaxe squaring off against the entitled control freak. Mimi didn’t stand a chance.

  “You keep your cotton-picking hands to yourself, missy,” Granny snapped, waving her cane for emphasis. “This is no way to treat people. Don’t you know you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? Besides, people with real power don’t have to act like bullies. If you really were as powerful as you think you are, you wouldn’t have to say anything. They’d just do things for you because they’d want to please you. You’re only showing off your weakness.”

  Muffled laughter spread throughout the courtyard as the bullied staff got their vicarious revenge. I gave myself a moment to enjoy the epic battle, then returned my focus to the mission. Owen still had Mimi’s right hand in his grasp, so her pocket was unprotected. I darted around Granny and reached for the pocket.

  I wasn’t the only one who’d had that thought. Sylvester and Lyle simultaneously lunged toward Mimi, deflecting my attempt. Meanwhile, the puritan minion knocked Owen aside. Owen refused to let go of Mimi’s wrist, so he took her down with him when he fell. The minion brought the side of his hand down on Owen’s wrist, forcing him to release Mimi. Mimi straightened, rubbing her wrist, then put her hand back in her pocket. I’d lost yet another chance at the brooch.

  Owen was still on the floor. He pulled the tranquilizer dart from his shirt pocket, made eye contact with me to warn me he was about to act, then raised the dart and aimed it at the back of the minion’s leg.

  But Sylvester got in the way, making yet another go at the brooch. He didn’t seem to be acting rationally anymore. There was no thought or plan, only raw need. His eyes blazed feverishly, and sweat dripped down his face as he clawed at Mimi’s pocket, his fingers brushing against thin air an inch away—before he toppled over to lie face-down on the ground. He’d moved so quickly that Owen hadn’t had a chance to pull the dart back. That meant we had only one dart left, but at least we’d learned that they worked on elves.