Dropping Gloves

by Catherine Gayle

  “Right. Exactly,” she said.

  “I know you gave up a lot to go to Hollywood. I understand it. I always did. I might not have wanted to let you go, but I understood why you had to. But now you’re back.”

  “I am.” She wrung her hands together, giving me a moment’s pause. “Because it wasn’t what I really wanted. What I really want is you.”

  She’d already made that clear, so I wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain it again. I nodded for her to go on.

  “But I need to be able to sing, too.”

  “Ah. I see.” I wasn’t enough. Not that I wanted her to give up everything for me. I needed to remind myself of that and not let it hurt my ego. I loved Katie because of everything about her, all the disparate parts that made up the whole. I didn’t want her to give up pieces of herself in order to be with me. I would hate it if she felt she had to. If she wanted to, that was another story entirely. “Will I see you tomorrow?” I asked.

  “Furniture’s coming in the morning. Mom’s going to bring me over and then I’ll be there getting settled most of the day. You could come over whenever you have time.”

  My time was definitely going to be limited tomorrow, but that didn’t matter. “Want to come to dinner with me and Razor? We can celebrate your new house.”

  She laughed. “You’re still friends with him, huh?”

  “He’s good for me. Keeps me from being too serious all the time.”

  The arch of her brow underscored her laughter. “Okay. Dinner it is.” She stretched up on her tiptoes, putting both arms around my neck to draw me down for a kiss.

  I was completely on board with kissing her again—as often as possible—but after a moment, I remembered we were in her father’s house. I separated myself before things got too heated. “I don’t think your dad would be very happy if he came around the corner right now and saw this going on.”

  “Why wouldn’t he be?” she asked. “He’s been trying to set us up since the day I came back to Portland.”

  “He might be all right with us getting together, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s setting us up.”

  “Then you haven’t been paying attention. The prom picture. My realtor showing me that house. Dad telling you about my cancer being back even though I’d told him not to. That was all him, and it was all done to give us a nudge.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense.” Not at all.

  “Better the devil you know,” Katie replied. I shook my head, not following. She quirked up a grin. “That’s his explanation. He likes you. He wants me to be happy. To be loved.”

  That might be, but I still doubted he would be very forgiving about seeing me with my hands on his daughter. It’d be best to save that for times when we were alone, or at least not in his foyer. “Tomorrow,” I said. “I’ll kiss you all you want tomorrow.” When we were alone.

  “Promise?”

  I met her gaze and held it. “Promise.” Not that it would be a difficult promise to keep. “Spend some extra time with your mom,” I added. “She needs it.”

  Katie nodded. She kissed me again before I left, and it was all I could do not to beg her to come with me now. But I didn’t. She needed some time with her parents, and maybe some time by herself to sort out how she felt about everything. And I had something I needed to do.

  I got in my car and headed across the river. I wasn’t going home, though. Not yet. The lights were still on at Burnzie’s house when I drove up, and Jonny’s pickup truck was there. I probably should have called before coming over, or at least texted to be sure it was all right, but I didn’t think of that until I was getting out of my car. Too late now.

  I rang the bell.

  A chorus of barks sounded almost immediately, followed by, “Shut the fuck up already.” The porch light flipped on right before Burnzie opened the door looking harassed, his three large dogs barking excitedly behind him. He glared at me. “What the fuck do you want at this hour?”

  “Actually, I was hoping I could talk to Brie about something.” I dragged a hand through my hair.

  “Your hair’s a fucking mess. What do you need to see my wife for?”

  “It’s about Katie.”

  Burnzie eyed me for a second. Then he stepped back, body-blocking his dogs to give me room to follow. “Come on. She’s in the living room.”

  Jonny and his wife, Sara, were there, along with their three-year-old son, Connor. Sara was in the late stages of pregnancy and had her feet up. Brie was apparently pregnant, too, not that you could tell it yet. Burnzie had filled us in during training camp. Jonny was on the floor acting as a jungle gym for his son. As soon as the dogs returned with us, though, Connor decided to climb the German shepherd instead of his father.

  Based on how calm the dog stayed, I got the distinct impression that he was used to it. Not that it should surprise me. A lot of the guys had kids around that age these days, and Burnzie’s house was so big that he often hosted parties for the whole team. It made more sense than trying to rent somewhere that could accommodate us all.

  They all looked up when I came in.

  “Babs thinks he needs my wife more than I do,” Burnzie said.

  “Shut the fuck up,” Connor said. Then he cackled, and Jonny glared at Sara.

  “What?” she said. She pointed at Burnzie. “He’s the one who said it.”

  “This time,” Jonny mumbled.

  “He needs to stop saying it so much,” Brie said, patting a hand over her belly.

  Burnzie threw his hands up. “I’m working on it. I have time.” He picked up an ice bag from the counter and held it to his hand before sitting next to his wife. Not a good sign.

  Jonny was about to open his mouth when Sara said, “I’m working on it, too.”

  “He’s three years old,” Jonny muttered. “I think you should have figured it out by now that he’s going to repeat everything you say.”

  “Obviously, since that’s how I learned it all,” Sara said. “I spent my whole damn life surrounded by hockey players who think fuck can be used as every part of speech.”

  “Fuck fuck fuck,” Connor chanted.

  Brie shook her head, trying to stifle a laugh. She nodded in my direction. “You wanted to see me about something?”

  I took a seat in an armchair. The smallest dog jumped into my lap almost as soon as I was down—possibly because I was as far away from the toddler as possible. Calling her the smallest wasn’t really saying much. She was still way too big to be a lapdog, making me appreciate more than ever before how tiny Blackbeard was, even if he did have some wicked claws. She licked my face, and I petted her out of instinct. Then Brie’s fluffy white cat jumped up on the back of my chair, purring.

  “Right,” I said, overwhelmed by the menagerie I’d walked into and how fast my world had changed today. “I need a favor.”

  The furniture I’d ordered was all in position. I’d brought my suitcases from Mom and Dad’s house with me when Mom drove me over so I could meet the delivery guys. After that, I went to the grocery store and stocked up, so now my fridge and pantry were fairly well sorted out. After I’d returned from that, Mom came over with a few odds and ends—lamps, framed family photos, some vases and fresh flowers. She hung around for a while, letting me show her around. We talked about the colors I wanted to put on the walls, what kinds of artwork I was thinking about putting up, and who to call if I had various problems that sometimes come up for homeowners. But then she left, claiming she had a women’s league meeting even though we both knew that was a lie. I was pretty sure it was just that she was trying hard not to butt in too far, trying to give me some space.

  But now she was gone, and it was just me and this empty house, and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. Dr. Oliver had scheduled my first radiation session for Monday, so I had a few days to figure things out before it all started.

  In LA, I rented a condo, but I was almost never there. I was on set, or out with Zanna and some of my other friends from
the show, or doing something with whomever I was dating at the time. My place was just a place to store my things. It wasn’t really somewhere I did anything other than sleep. Hell, I barely had more in my kitchen than coffee and cereal since eating at home was something I only did in extremely rare circumstances.

  Now I had a house of my very own, and no job, and no friends who were home in the middle of the day. I had a boyfriend, but he had a life that kept him busy a lot of the time. I couldn’t count on Jamie to keep me from boredom at all hours of the day, so I was going to have to figure out a way to occupy myself a lot of the time.

  I flipped through a few channels on the TV, but nothing really caught my attention, so I turned it off. I dug my phone out of my pocket and checked my email. There was another long one from Derek, griping about how the perfect audition for me had just come up—the kind of gritty role he’d been grooming me for by having me hang out with guys like Beau—but he’d had to tell them I was no longer his client. That was exactly the sort of thing I didn’t need to see at the moment, so I shut it down, tossed the phone on the coffee table, and headed into my office space.

  I hadn’t bought any furniture for this room yet. I was still trying to get a feel for it and settle on exactly how I wanted to use it. The idea of a writing and recording studio was still very appealing, but I needed to figure out what sort of equipment I’d need before I did anything else. The late afternoon sun was pouring in through the windows looking out over my backyard, casting everything in warm light that spoke to my soul.

  I lay down on the floor in the middle of the room, soaking it in and making plans. The wall of windows would be perfect for a desk on one side and some sort of cushy chair on the other. I’d need to build in some soundproofing. Not that it was loud around here, but I didn’t want to be in the middle of recording something and have a car horn blare in the background. I could do a wall of built-in shelving on one side, and the other could have all my recording equipment. Once I decided on what I would need, at least.

  My eyes were getting droopy from lying there for so long with the sun shining on me. If I didn’t get up and move around, I’d end up falling asleep down here on the floor, and I would definitely regret that. The view out that window was fantastic, though, so I pulled on a sweater against the chill and made my way into the backyard to my swing. I don’t know how long I was there—long enough that the sun was starting to set behind the mountains and the only thing keeping me awake was the back-and-forth motion—but then Jamie’s voice startled me out of my ruminations.

  “There you are.”

  I swung my head around and found him smiling at me across the fence. Blackbeard was perched on his shoulder, nibbling his earlobe.

  “Here I am,” I replied.

  “I rang your bell and tried calling your phone when you didn’t answer. Thought maybe you’d changed your mind about dinner with me and Razor.”

  “Not a chance. Just forgot my phone inside when I came out here.”

  “Mind if I come around?” he asked.

  I shook my head.

  With Blackbeard in position, Jamie went through his gate and then mine. He took a seat next to me on the bench, and the kitten jumped from his shoulder to mine before coming down to settle on my lap. Not to take a nap, though. His little sniffer was working overtime. I couldn’t blame him. All these sights and smells must be new for him.

  There was a lot new for me, too, like the way Jamie casually put his arm across my shoulders and drew me closer to him. The way he treated me was so different from any of the other guys I’d dated. With them, every touch was possessive and done for an audience to see or to send a message of sorts. With Jamie, every touch was gentle and meant for only the two of us. I could get used to his kind of touches.

  We sat there for a while, telling each other about our days and chitchatting. It was easy to imagine doing this every single day, coming home to one another and sharing the ups and downs, however large or small, we’d experienced since the last time we’d seen each other.

  Before long, Blackbeard was antsy to move. I set him down on the ground, and he raced around the yard, leaping at invisible enemies and wrestling a blade of grass.

  “It’s not fair, leaving him to play all by himself,” I said.

  “You think I need another kitten? A playmate for him?”

  I laughed and shook my head. “I was thinking maybe we should get down there, too.”

  I should have moved the second the words left my mouth, but I didn’t, and then it was too late. Jamie picked me up and dragged me to the ground, rolling us over until I was on top of him. My breasts pillowed between us. My lips were only inches from his, close enough I could smell his cinnamon breath mints.

  “Like this?” he asked, breathless and laughing.

  I answered him by bracing my knees on either side of his waist, resting my arms on the ground beside his head, and kissing him with every ounce of love I possessed. His lips were spicy and sweet when my tongue traced the seam. He opened, inviting me in, and his hands settled on the small of my back. Tender. Tentative. I could feel how much he wanted to be with me—his erection came to life in about 0.28 seconds—but he was still so cautious about caressing me. It was as if he was worried my father would walk up at any moment.

  I kissed the line of his jaw, moving down to his neck. “Touch me, Jamie. I want to feel your hands on me.”

  He lifted one hand, sliding it up to my head. He threaded his fingers through my hair, drawing it down to his face. “Did I ever tell you how much I dream about touching your hair?” He sniffed a few strands, letting them fall in waves against his skin. “It’s so soft. Like silk.”

  With all the things he could choose to touch, he chose my hair. I didn’t know what to make of that.

  But then he rolled us over until he was on top. A layer of leaves blanketed the ground beneath me, and he had me pinned below him, his weight supported by his arms. I drew my knees up, holding him between my thighs. Breathless, heart pounding, I waited for his next move.

  And waited.

  He stayed like that, gazing down at me in awe, as if he was memorizing every detail. The colored light of the setting sun outlined his face above me, a wash of pastels painting the sky. Finally, he lowered his head, placing a kiss on the bit of exposed skin on my chest.

  I sucked in a breath, squeezing my eyes closed in anticipation of his next move.

  His phone rang in his pocket, and he raised himself away from me again.

  “Don’t answer it,” I said. I wasn’t ready for this to end.

  “It’s Razor.”

  I pouted. We’d been getting so close to a moment I’d been dreaming about for years, and now he was going to pass it up for his buddy. “Can’t you tell him you’re busy? I’m sure he’d understand.”

  But Jamie was already getting up and taking the phone out. I supposed that answered my question.

  Blackbeard loped over and replaced him, curling up right over the spot where Jamie had just kissed me. It was sweet, but he was a poor replacement.

  “Hey,” Jamie said into the phone. “No, I haven’t forgotten. I was just picking up Katie first.” He fell silent for a minute. “Just working on doing what you told me to, asshole. We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  He hung up the phone and reached down to help me stand.

  “What did he tell you to do?” I asked, brushing the leaves from my butt.

  Jamie blushed, and his dimples popped out. He didn’t answer me, though. He just took my hand and tugged me in for another kiss, the kind of kiss that made my toes curl. “Come on,” he said when he broke it off. “Let’s drop Blackbeard off at home and go pick up Razor.”

  He might have tried to deflect my question, but I went along with him. For now. I was almost positive I knew someone who would answer it for me, and we were on our way to see him.

  When Katie and I got to the Thunderbirds’ hotel, we walked hand in hand into the building. It was unreal how easily we’d
fallen into doing what felt natural—talking about our days, holding hands, playing around with each other. I could get used to this really fast.

  Razor was waiting for us in the lobby, along with Hunter and Zee. As soon as she saw them, Katie raced across the foyer and kissed Zee on the cheek. That was just Katie. She’d known Zee longer than she’d known me, and all the guys who’d been part of the Storm over the years had become like older brothers to her. Well, all except me, but I was glad she didn’t think of me that way. She did the same with Hunter and was moving on to Razor by the time I got there.

  He was apparently anticipating it, and he swept her up off her feet and planted a kiss on her cheek before she could kiss him. By the time he set her down again, she was trying to catch her breath from laughing so hard.

  I held out a hand for Zee’s.

  He shook it but with his eyes narrowed at me. “Everything all right?” he asked.

  “Everything’s fine.” I had no doubt his curiosity came down to the leaked reports of the locker room incident after the last game. Not that he wanted dirt on us or anything like that. He had been part of that locker room a long time, and he still had a lot of friends there. Most likely, he just wanted to offer up some advice or something else of that nature. I wasn’t going to involve him, though. I meant what I’d told Razor. Those things needed to stay in the room, and no matter how long Zee had been part of it, he wasn’t now.

  He had always been the kind of guy who would respect that sort of decision, and sure enough, he let it go. He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Katie. “Dana sent me with these to show you.”

  She raised her brows in question but opened the envelope to find three photos, one of each of Zee and Dana’s two kids, and a sonogram. “Again? You’re having another baby?”

  “Another boy. He’ll be here in May.” Zee didn’t even attempt to hide his pride.

  We spent a few more minutes catching up with Zee while Razor cracked jokes here and there. Hunter didn’t really say much. He just sulked a lot, occasionally interjecting something slightly more coherent than a grunt. I wasn’t sure what was going on with him other than maybe feeling like his talents were being wasted on a team he didn’t want to play for—he’d made that much clear over the summer when he’d found out he’d been claimed in the expansion draft—but he didn’t seem inclined to talk about it.