Love Today

by Delaney, Delia

  “Okay, sure,” he nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Taryn.”

  I watched him leave, feeling torn between letting it be and apologizing for my fear of dating as he made it to his Jeep in the next row. But before he got in he saw me staring at him, and the smile he gave sent a mix of emotions through me.

  I was no longer excited for the wedding the next day. I got there at two in the afternoon, dreading the fact that I was going to see Zack again. Why did guys have to complicate things at the worst times? He was starting to make me nervous, and I was going into battle mode.

  I was getting my equipment together when he approached me and said, “I’m saving a dance for the photographer.”

  “I’ll be busy working,” I replied, not even looking up.

  “But I got permission from the bride,” he seemed to gloat.

  I looked right at him and almost panicked. “No, you did not,” I basically threatened.

  “I sure did. Apparently I need all the help I can get, because after six weeks of this, I’m still having no luck.”

  “Six weeks,” I scoffed. “What are you even talking about? I met you, like, three weeks ago or something.”

  “Ah, but I noticed you three weeks before that. It just took a while to strike up the nerve.”

  I’ll admit I was a little flattered, but why was he doing this to me now? Here I was to do a job and he was totally flustering me before I even started.

  “You look beautiful, by the way,” he had to say.

  I politely replied, “Thank you. You look very nice as well.”

  “Thank you. So… If you can’t dance with me tonight, then I guess I’ll take a rain check.”

  “I’m already seeing someone,” I lied. It was instant, my panic causing me to blurt out such a lame untruth.

  He raised his eyebrows, obviously surprised. “Oh yeah? What’s his name?”

  I barely paused while I wiped my lense clean. “Um, Jared.”

  He seemed to think about that for just a second. “Hmm, since yesterday? You should have mentioned him when you were stumbling for an excuse then.”

  I was irritated because he called me on my fib, but I chose to stick with it. “Well things moved quickly.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  There was an awkward silence, so I began assembling my tri-pod to keep me busy.

  “Jared, huh?” he finally said. “Jared versus Zack. I think I can handle that.”

  It made me smile, but I still scrambled for another excuse. “You know I have Maggie, right?” I threw into the mix. I knew it was totally dishonest, even though I didn’t literally say she was my own kid. But the implication was still there and I used it to my advantage.

  “Right,” he replied, eyeing me a little funny. “And what does that mean exactly?”

  “Uh… It means that I’m unavailable.”

  He barely nodded, seeming to think it over, but not seeming to really accept the fact that I was turning him down. However, he finally said, “Taryn, I’m asking you out on a date. You can just say no if you want.”

  “Um, then no thank you,” I replied.

  “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

  “Nope, it was all right.”

  He lightly laughed, but I wasn’t sure if I’d wounded his ego or not. I felt kind of bad, I really did, but I guess I was playing a defensive game, just in case.

  I wished he would leave, so I made him feel like he was in my way when I needed to get around him. He moved, but just watched me assemble another camera. I needed to stop letting my inner bitch slip out just because I was uncomfortable.

  “So…I guess I’ll just not smile in any of the pictures then,” he said.

  I wanted to laugh, because it was a funny threat, but I only shrugged.

  “And…I might throw in a scowl or two,” he added.

  “That’s your choice.”

  “And probably a set of crossed eyes.”

  I had to smile at that but my back was turned to him and he couldn’t see.

  “There’s always the bunny ears over my brother’s head, or an occasional middle finger…”

  Okay, a tiny chuckle escaped, but I kept my back to him.

  “Or I could just undress you with my eyes in every shot,” he had to say.

  That made me lose my composure and I let out a frustrated laugh with an, “Oh my gosh.”

  “Ah, see? That’s it. That’s the ticket. Prepare to be undressed all night long.”

  “Would you stop it?” I asked with a frustrated smile. “Grow up.”

  He laughed with a shrug, but once I moved away from him to set up my camera for the tri-pod, he did leave after that.

  I was totally rattled, and also mad at myself. I had to shake it off though. This was someone’s very important day and there was no way I was going to ruin it.

  I strapped on a very professional mood and went right to work. But of course the first set of formal pictures were of all the groomsmen, which included Zack. I thought about trying other photos first, but I had a process, and I wasn’t going to let my attraction to him deter me from it.

  But would you believe that every picture I took of the guys in the wedding party contained a smug smile that seemed directed right at me? I would look through the lens at each face and there was Zack, asking me out again.

  Oh wait, undressing me. And I kid you not that I truly felt naked by the end of the day. I had to endure pre-ceremony pictures, ceremony pictures, and an entire three-hour reception. I wasn’t exhausted from work that day; I was exhausted from Zack’s silent conversations with me. He didn’t say a word to me that entire time, but he didn’t have to.

  Melissa was the one that approached me towards the end of the night. She told me I should take a few minutes to eat and maybe join in on a dance or two.

  “Um, I don’t eat at the weddings when I’m working,” I told her. “Nor do I dance at them.”

  “Oh, please? I want you to have some fun. Fifteen minutes isn’t going to matter. And there are other people taking pictures and stuff too. I insist.”

  “He put you up to it, huh?” I asked, making an adjustment on my camera.

  “What? He who? Zack? He didn’t put me up to anything. I know he really wants to dance with you, that’s all.”

  “Thanks, but I’m enjoying my time as I work.”

  She seemed to think about that, but I was surprised when she said, “I guess I won’t pay you the second half of your fee if you don’t go dance with him.”

  “What?” I chuckled uneasily.

  She looked serious, but she still held a smile. “Yep. I guess you won’t get paid.”

  “That’s blackmail.”

  “I know, and I could go to jail for that. So you have to believe me when I say I really, really, really want you to dance with Zack. Just one dance?”

  I felt like I was up against a wall. I was annoyed, but I was also a little flattered.

  “It’s his brother’s wedding and he’s been miserable,” she frowned. “Please?”

  She really seemed sincere about that, and I even looked across the room to where Zack was with a few other people. He did look a little sullen, and maybe I had been a little rude to him. He was only making it clear that he liked me. It wasn’t his fault that I was defective when it came to the opposite sex.

  I was stubborn though, and was hesitant to give him his way.

  “Please Taryn?” she begged again.

  She pleaded with me silently until I finally said, “Jeez, fine.”

  She displayed an excited little clap while I put my camera away, but I tried not to let her know how nervous it made me feel. It was one thing to feel insecure because of him from a distance, but it was another thing to deal with it up close.

  I really was dressed for a wedding, as I always was when I was working at one. I was wearing a lavender knee-length dress—one of my favorites—and a pair of silver heels. I felt like I fit right in, but I also felt weird, wondering if o
ther people would question why the photographer wasn’t doing her job.

  I guarantee that Melissa motioned him over while I was putting my camera away. It wasn’t more than a minute before I looked up to see Zack standing there.

  “Please dance with me, Taryn. Just one dance, that’s all I’m asking.”

  I wanted to panic and say no at that moment, and I almost did, but even though I didn’t respond, he took my hand anyways. Without a word he moved a couple of steps toward the dance floor to lure me along, and I found myself following him.

  Chapter Five

  Zack was in a different type of mood at that point. He smiled at me on the dance floor, but he seemed to have a different air to him. It was no longer a game since he finally got his way, but he seemed to view the moment more like I did: it was significant. I could tell he really liked me, and that’s what intimidated me so much. But I think he could feel that I was attracted to him, too. I’m sure that’s why he’d been persistent, but now that we were finally dancing together, we both felt the heat between us.

  “I’m really sorry for being such a jerk,” he finally said.

  “You could have at least waited until after this job was over,” I retorted. Yes, I was uncomfortable, and my inner bitch was sneaking out again.

  “I know, but I wanted to dance with you at my brother’s wedding.”

  I didn’t have a response to that, but I noticed Jason and Melissa standing together and they were both watching us. It made me nervous, and being that we were so close to each other, dancing to a romantic song, made it even worse. I wouldn’t even look at Zack because I was afraid he’d try to kiss me. I would have been humiliated from the public display. Maybe he knew that, and he wasn’t going to risk it, but I decided to stick to my own familiar defenses just in case.

  Finally the song was over, and when I was ready to return to my work, he kept hold of my hand.

  “You don’t have to go,” he said quietly. Another slow song came on and he seemed to silently ask me to dance again.

  I could still feel the tangible heat burning between us, and all I could think about was how close his mouth had been to mine. One slight movement if I’d been facing him…

  “I’m sorry, I can’t,” I replied hastily, and I left him standing there on the dance floor.

  It was bad enough feeling the way I felt, but then another guy saw me breezing by and he said, “Hey, if you’re gonna join the party, it’s my turn.”

  “No thank you,” I mumbled.

  “Whatever,” he scowled.

  I think he even called me a name, but I didn’t care. I was angry with myself, mainly because I’d become so vulnerable to another guy again. I wasn’t ready for another relationship.

  I was so thankful when my job was over that night. But even after the bride and groom left the party, I still took a few more pictures. So far I was only familiar with Zack’s family from a professional standpoint. I knew everyone’s names because I’d been talking to them all day for the photos. But I didn’t mingle with any of them, or spend any time getting to know anyone. It wasn’t part of my job that night.

  His little sister was quite funny, and I understood what he meant about her being feisty. Maggie was pretty mild compared to Ashlyn, and even though I was used to being around one four-year-old, it didn’t mean I was able to have it easy with another. I had to work pretty hard to get Ashlyn to cooperate for the formal pictures, but it was way easier capturing shots of her that weren’t posed. I got some really good ones since she was so active, but my favorite was of a quiet time when Zack was kneeling down to talk to her. She had her hands against his cheeks, and it was a really sweet and tender moment.

  I had my equipment all packed away in my trunk when I heard my phone ringing from inside the car. I unlocked the door to find it, but I didn’t recognize the number on the screen.

  “Hello?” I said anyway.

  “Taryn, I really hope you haven’t left yet,” Zack said.

  My heart rate doubled, just from hearing his voice again.

  “Um, no, I’m in my car though, and I’m about to—”

  “Melissa left something for me to give you. Can you wait and I’ll bring it out to you?”

  Oh gosh, what was going to happen if we were alone in a dark parking lot? I was just about to offer to come back inside, where it was busier with cleanup and more people, but I saw him step out of the hotel. I guess I got out of the car, and that’s when he paused because he saw me. He did have something in his hand when he approached—it was a gift of some sort—and he held it out for me when he was close enough.

  “Sorry. I had it and then you were just…gone.”

  “Thank you,” I replied.

  I looked it over for a few seconds so I didn’t have to look directly at him, but he stepped closer to me anyways and gently took my face in his hands. It caught me off guard, and my heart was going to thump right out of my chest when he leaned down to kiss me, but I knew that I wanted him to and I received it willingly.

  I liked how he kissed me—it was soft and gentle, and it seemed very sincere. I found myself wanting more, so that was a good sign. Or maybe it was a bad sign, depending on how you look at it. I enjoyed the attraction we had to each other, but was I really going to let it be anything more than friends?

  When the kiss naturally came to an end, we both just looked at each other. Zack kind of smiled and said, “Wow, no wonder I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Somehow I knew it was going to be that good.”

  It made me smile, and for some reason—after the kiss and his light humor—I felt a lot more at ease with him. “Yeah, I guess some things really are as good as you dream them to be.”

  “Well I’d like to repeat that dream if you don’t mind,” he said, and he kissed me again.

  I pulled him closer that time, mainly because I wanted to but also because I was cold. He had on a suit jacket that felt warm against my bare arms as I wrapped them around his waist.

  “You’re probably cold,” he realized. He was going to take his jacket off for me, but I stopped him.

  “I’m pretty sure I’ll be warmer if you just keep me like this,” I told him.

  He laughed as he closed as much of his jacket around me as he could. I wished I could lay my face against him, but I was wearing a little more makeup than I normally would and didn’t want to get it on his white shirt. We ended up kissing again anyways.

  “Well, I should probably get going,” I said after a while.

  I knew most of the wedding party was staying in the hotel that night, and I really wanted to enjoy the conclusion of the night without it being ruined with an invitation upstairs. Sometimes announcing a departure worked and sometimes it didn’t, but the way he’d been so persistent all night made me worry that—

  “Okay,” he agreed.

  He kissed me one last time and then separated from me. I did not like how cold it was without him, but it made me get into my car without a second thought.

  “Goodnight, Taryn. Can I call you tomorrow?”

  With a smile I said, “Yes, you can call me.”

  “Well can I take you out to dinner, too?”

  I chuckled as I replied, “Yes, you can take me out to dinner. I’d like that.”

  “You sure Maggie’s okay with that?” he asked with a smirk.

  Oh shoot! Maggie…

  “Um, about that,” I said, getting out of the car again. “Uh, Maggie isn’t, uh… Well, Maggie’s my niece.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he nodded.

  “She’s my sister’s little girl and— What? What do you mean you know?”

  He smiled and said, “I know she’s not yours. How many four-year-olds call their mom by her first name?”

  I thought about that, but couldn’t remember a time that she actually had called me Taryn in front of him.

  “And your car is clean beyond belief,” he added, nodding to it. “Too clean to have a child.”

  “What?”

  “And
even though you’re great with Maggie, I can tell that she’s not your daughter. That’s not a bad thing,” he added quickly, probably because he could tell I was a little hurt by it. “It’s just that there are little things that give it away. If you’d actually seen me with my sister you would have concluded the same.”

  I guess I could see that, knowing that different relationships naturally created different actions between people.

  “And…then I kind of asked about you,” he said with a sheepish smile.

  I gave him a wary look. “Asked who? And when?”

  “Uh, just last week. Before I talked to you about the wedding. I just asked someone if Maggie’s mom was the photographer and she said, ‘Oh, that’s her aunt, but yes, she’s a photographer.’ ”

  “You asked to make sure I really didn’t have a kid?” I accused him.

  He looked a bit surprised. “What? I didn’t care if you had a kid. Honestly, Taryn, it didn’t even matter. I just wanted to open up a conversation about you; you know, to learn something maybe. But then I decided I just wanted to talk to you instead, so I made my way over.”

  I don’t know why I felt irritated all of a sudden, but I could tell he sensed it. He kind of sighed, like he thought he’d just made the biggest mistake ever. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way, Taryn. What did I do wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I replied, shaking my head. “I’m not hurt, I’m just… I don’t know, it’s weird learning something is actually not what it seemed.”

  He studied me for a few seconds. “You mean you liked the idea of me being interested in you, even if you had a kid? That made me a better guy in your opinion?”

  “Not a ‘better’ guy…”

  I didn’t know what else to say. I guess now his feelings were probably hurt, and I could understand why.

  “Zack, I’m not good at this,” I admitted honestly. “I’m really not. That’s what all of that…hesitation and…discomfort has been about. I’m just not very good at relationships.”

  “Don’t use that as an excuse,” he said.