So only Jared could hear I murmured, “Give me time to recover from today first.”
He laughed silently and then asked, “Hey Maggie, what are you gonna be for Halloween? Did you decide?”
She seriously considered that, especially because she now had a few more costume ideas to choose from. “Mmm, maybe a fairy ballerina,” she said, touching the tutu and a fairy wand set.
“Sounds good,” he nodded. “But what about the tiara? You could be a princess fairy ballerina.”
I had to laugh at that, especially because Maggie was totally interested in the idea. She went to work on the costume, and while she was distracted, Jared turned his attention to me.
“So,” he smiled. “How have you been?” He actually got up and moved to the couch I was sitting on, and even though he didn’t sit directly by me, he was closer in proximity and it made me nervous.
“I’ve been pretty good,” I tried to say evenly. “How about you?”
He slightly nodded. “Mm, so-so.”
“Just so-so?” I smiled.
He returned the smile but didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then he kind of glanced around the empty house and asked, “So where’s your boyfriend? Couldn’t make it?”
“He’s in Canada.”
“Vacation?”
“Work.”
“What’s he do?”
I looked at him warily for the inquiry, but he just shrugged, letting me know it wasn’t a big deal to ask.
“He’s a former pro snowboarder,” I finally replied.
He considered that, seeming a little surprised. “Former, huh? So what’s he doing in Canada?”
“He works with other up-and-coming pros.”
“Oh? Like training them?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm, so how often is he gone?”
I smiled, realizing where the conversation was headed. But I did answer, “A few times a month.”
“Hmm,” he said. “So have you considered going out with me sometime?”
I was taken by surprise with that, but he seemed serious. Well I knew he wasn’t going to joke around about it, but I was a little intimidated by the fact that he truly expected an answer. Jared was a little more up front with me than I was used to when it came to guys.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I answered.
“Why not?”
I took a moment to gather my thoughts. “Because I enjoy what I have with Zack, and I’m comfortable with it.”
“And you wouldn’t be comfortable with me?”
“That’s not what I said. It means that when something is good, it would be foolish to change it.”
“Why change what already works, huh,” he stated. “Well, why are you okay with just ‘settling’ with what works? What if you could have ‘amazing’ instead of just ‘good’?”
“Why do you think you can be persuasive enough to change my mind?”
“Well…because I’m just going with my instincts. I feel like you’re worth the effort.”
I sighed. He was going to keep being forward, wasn’t he? And really, just because he was a famous rock star, I was supposed to succumb to his charm?
You do succumb, you idiot, I told myself. He would only break your heart.
“Jared, the more you do this the more hesitant I become to be around you.”
I wished I hadn’t said that, but there was no taking it back.
“Hesitant? Because you really have considered it?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Yes you have,” he laughed accusingly. “Taryn, what the—” He stopped short because Maggie was still in the room, but he didn’t finish his thought. Instead he just stood and I knew he was going to leave.
“I’m sorry,” I told him, standing up with him.
“I just can’t figure you out.”
“No, you’re probably just used to getting your way.”
He stared at me for several seconds; I felt guilty for letting my defenses turn bitchy, but I was only being truthful.
Finally he said, “Is that honestly what you think of me?” He slowly shook his head, clearly disappointed with me. “I was hoping you wouldn’t stereotype me like that,” he said quietly. “I suppose now would be the time to reveal all of my anti-social secrets, right? Let you know that I don’t live that ‘sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll’ lifestyle. I’m just cool with the rock ‘n’ roll aspect of it, okay? I love that. I love who I am and what I do. But I take care of myself. I try to make good choices and I don’t live it up with women whenever I want. I’m not that kind of person, and I was hoping that you’d realize that too.”
By then Maggie was drawn to our conversation, and even though Jared had been speaking softly to me, she could tell that we were in some sort of disagreement.
“I should get going,” he said. “I’m sorry for complicating your life because of my interest in you.”
I had no response. He told Maggie goodbye and she watched in confusion as he found his own way out the front door. She even frowned at me, like it was my fault for sending her new buddy away.
I wanted to kick myself. I didn’t know what else I could have said or done differently, but I was really mad at myself. Why? I don’t know. I got my way, right? I resisted and resisted until he finally—
The front door opened again, and before I could get excited that I’d have a chance to apologize, Jared set a CD on the table in the entryway.
“By the way, there’s the song I wrote for you. It’s going to be big, so hopefully you get used to it.”
And with that he left again.
Maggie was up in a flash to get the disc, but I took a deep breath and dropped down onto the couch again. I didn’t know why I let people frustrate me so badly.
“What is it?” Maggie asked, bringing the disc to me.
I took it and said, “It’s a song. Jared, uh, makes music.”
“I wanna hear!” she said excitedly.
“Uh, no, I don’t think so. You’d better let me hear it first, okay? Then maybe I’ll let you hear it.”
She looked confused as to why I would say that, but just looking at the words scribbled on the disc confirmed that I made the right choice.
The song was titled “Wicked Woman.”
Chapter Ten
“How about this one?” Rachel asked, holding up another dress.
“It’s the same as the last one. They’re both fine.”
She sighed and held them against each other to compare. “I think I like the blue one for her. Makes her look a little more…I don’t know, distinguished.”
“Distinguished? Jeez, she’s five. You said no pink, so I think either the blue or the green works just fine.”
I seriously couldn’t understand why my sister was fretting over which dress to put on her daughter. It was for when her new “guy friend” meets Maggie for the first time that coming weekend. Rachel made it seem like a “never get a second chance to make a first impression” moment when it shouldn’t have been.
I wasn’t surprised when she bought both dresses.
Maggie and I wandered to the food court to get pretzels while Rachel continued to shop for accessories, and that’s when my phone rang.
I answered it with, “You’re back!”
“Yep, I am,” Zack replied. “What are you up to on this beautiful Monday afternoon?”
“Shopping,” I sort of groaned. I complained to him about my sister and my latest annoyance with her, being careful that Maggie couldn’t hear, and using the phrase “a certain someone.”
“Well, at least she’s claiming she has a daughter, right?”
“Yeah, because she can’t go any longer pretending she doesn’t.”
“Hmm. But maybe meeting the right guy can set her straight?”
“I doubt it. The day she uses the term ‘boyfriend’ or says ‘the right guy’ will be a shock to us all. But she acts like she’s got a horrible secret to reveal or something. That’s what bugs
me.”
“I don’t know. I guess some people are afraid of ruining something they really want. Maybe it’s not meant to be, but nobody likes to speed up the inevitable.”
I wasn’t sure if he was still talking about my sister or not, but I felt guilty, like I was afraid he knew about my conversations with Jared. He did know that Jared had asked me out a couple of times—I didn’t keep that from Zack—but I kept the rest out of it. We had agreed to a casual relationship, but it didn’t mean that I wanted to hurt his feelings. Sometimes I felt like I wanted to tell him, but I usually decided that there was nothing to tell.
Especially now, because I was most likely on Jared’s “do not contact” list.
“So what are you doing tonight?” he asked. “You wanna hang out?”
“Sure, that sounds good.”
“Hey, how come your sister isn’t working? Isn’t Monday the day she slaves away all day? And Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday…”
I laughed and said, “Yeah, usually. But her boss made her take the day off.”
“And she agreed?”
“If it comes from the boss then yeah. But hey, I’m going to finish up here and I’ll give you a call, okay?”
“Sure thing. Can’t wait to see you.”
I was excited to see Zack that night. I think I even took longer to get ready than I normally did. Rachel walked by my room as I was putting my shoes on and asked, “Where are you going?”
I noticed that she too was dressed to go out and I made a very obvious shake of my head. “No,” I told her.
“Taryn, I didn’t know you were going out tonight. I already made plans.”
“Then cancel them. Finish the day with your daughter. Then you can say you’ve actually spent an entire day with her.”
“Oh shut up,” she growled at me. “Why don’t you have a job that pays for a house and your child’s college fund?”
“I’m happy with my job. And I could afford a place on my own, but instead I choose to live here and raise your child.”
“I never asked you to move in here, Taryn!”
“No, but you barely spend time with your own kid! Mom and Dad—”
“They know nothing about my life! I barely got through college thanks to them! I did it. I did it all on my own. And thank God I landed a great job right away with a great company, or Maggie and I would be on the streets!”
“The streets? You had all of us to help you! No, you were the one that turned your back on us! We all offered to help, but it wasn’t how you wanted us to help. I understand you needed to be a working mom, Rachel. I would have been the same way. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to have to take care of me. But you neglect that poor kid more than you should!”
“Neglect her—?”
“And instead of asking for a babysitter, you just choose to dump her on people—”
“Hey! I had a great babysitter! I didn’t ‘dump’ her on anyone! Are you talking about you, Taryn? Are you whining that I don’t pay you to babysit? I thought we agreed that you didn’t have to pay for anything but utilities—”
“We did agree on that. And it’s got nothing to do with watching Maggie—I would never resent watching my own niece—but you take advantage of me, Rachel. Like this,” I motioned to her, all ready to go out. “Did you even think to ask me to watch her tonight? I mean all you needed to do was ask. Is that so hard?”
“And suddenly you’re a socialite?”
“What?”
“You’re so afraid of guys that you deliberately avoid places where you’d meet them! You are so afraid of having a serious relationship that you choose to hide behind my daughter! You like it that way! Poor Zack, he thinks you’re just shy. That’s bull!”
“What does that have to do with anything? Honestly, you’re going to throw that in my face? Well I’m not as sure of myself as you are! We are nothing alike! I don’t want to make the same stupid mistake that you did!”
“How dare you!” she shouted at me.
I knew that I’d gone too far, but really… How long was she going to keep putting Maggie on the back burner?
“I don’t want to fight with you anymore,” I said. “I’m going out tonight and I really hope you’ll put your daughter to bed for once.”
I left the room before she could blow up at me again, but I wasn’t expecting to find Zack sitting on the couch with Maggie on his lap. She had her head against his chest, and even though she wasn’t crying or anything, I could tell she was affected by her mom and her aunt fighting in the other room.
I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. I just stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say. Zack said something to Maggie while she was cuddled against him, and then she nodded her head. It was kind of a tender moment, seeing them together like that, and it made feeling angry with my sister seem pretty pointless.
She left Zack’s lap to give me a hug. I was very humbled by that, thinking she might have been upset with me for yelling in the other room. But I used the moment to apologize to her, and then I asked her to find her mom to give her a hug too. After all, Maggie was the only reason I even saw my sister these days.
“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” I said to Zack. I was embarrassed and disheartened at the same time, and it really made me feel vulnerable.
He got up from the couch to meet me halfway, and I was thankful to have someone to hold me during such a frustrating time. After a moment he said, “We can just stay here if it’s a problem.”
“No, I just can’t. I need to get out if you don’t mind.”
“Sure.”
I found my coat and purse, wondering if I should check on Rachel and Maggie before I left. I decided not to. I’d made my case and it was my turn to go out for once. Rachel had gone out the last four nights, so I was due.
Before we got too far, Zack stopped me at his Jeep. With a smile he pulled me close to kiss him, and I enjoyed having that closeness with him once again. It helped me to relax and I was able to push the fight with my sister out of my thoughts.
We went out to dinner, taking our time to enjoy each other’s company. We did end up at his place, where I’d only been twice before but on pretty casual terms. However, tonight I was feeling a little more affectionate. I think Zack realized that, but he was a gentleman about it, doing his best to make sure I knew what I wanted. For once I just wanted to have my own night with him and not have to worry about everyone else. I wasn’t upset about my sister anymore, and I knew that we’d work it out, but I just wanted to focus on Zack and how much I cared about him.
Of course I could get serious with him. Rachel was wrong.
It was two in the morning when my phone rang. The only person that could be calling me at that time was my sister, and if she thought she was going to interrogate me to find out where I was, she was sadly mistaken.
But it was actually Bethany.
“…She said eleven o’clock and it’s almost two…” was all I caught at first.
“Wait, what? She who? Where are you?”
“I’m at your house watching Maggie. Rachel said she’d be home by eleven at the latest, but I need to get home because Ron leaves for work at three. I have to get home to Joshua. I mean I can wake Maggie up and take her with me…”
I groaned to myself—or maybe it was out loud because Zack asked what was wrong.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I told her.
“I’m sorry; I just can’t get a hold of Rachel. It just goes to voicemail.”
“It’s not your fault. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”
I was rushing around to leave when again Zack asked, “Taryn, what’s going on? Where are you going?”
“My sister went out last night anyways,” I said angrily. “She left Maggie at home with a babysitter and still hasn’t come home yet. Bethany needs to leave.”
He was putting his shoes on along with me but didn’t say anything. Once we were in the Jeep heading out he still didn’t say anyt
hing to me. I think he knew how furious I was, but I also wondered if he felt our night had been ruined, too.
“I’m sorry,” I had to say after a minute. “And she wonders why I have no social life,” I muttered. “Well I guess ‘social’ isn’t really the word I’m going for…”
I could tell he smiled in the dark, but he took my hand and said, “Don’t be sorry. And I believe your social life just got a jumpstart.”
That made me laugh, and really, why was I letting my sister ruin something for me again. I wasn’t going to let her this time; I wanted to remember my time with Zack because it was happy and I knew things with him were good.
Bethany left as soon as we got there. I paid her what cash I had, which was only twenty bucks. But even though she said Rachel could square it up with her later, Zack paid her the rest of it anyways.
I checked on Maggie the second I could. She was sound asleep, but I couldn’t help but feel really sorry for her. I wished so badly that she had a mom that put her first. I still couldn’t believe that Rachel left, even after all that we argued about.
Zack almost startled me when he entered the room. He held me for a few seconds and then he quietly said, “I’m gonna head out. Will you be okay?”
I really didn’t want him to leave. I wished he could just stay with me. We should have still been at his place, enjoying the time alone.
“I’ll be okay. But you don’t have to leave.”
I knew he didn’t want to stay over with Maggie and Rachel in the house, so I wasn’t surprised when he said, “I should go.”
“Yeah, you have work I guess.”
He kissed the side of my head and said, “Well last night I wasn’t planning on going to work in the morning…”
I smiled, and I did appreciate the gesture, but in a way it made me feel worse that I had to miss out on it. However, I just said, “I guess I’ll take a rain check on that.”
“Definitely.”
He kissed me goodbye after that, and once the house was secured for the night, I took myself to bed. It felt kind of lonely in the house, even though it was just Maggie and I a lot of the time anyway. But Rachel had never been out this late before. And usually she would tell me if she was going to be late, even if it was just in a text message.
Love Today Page 7
