Cashing Out

by Pierce, Nicolette

  “I have a surprise for you. And, no, it’s not hot dogs.”

  That comment resulted in an ear twitch and an eye blink.

  “It’s diet cat food. The vet promised you won’t know the difference and will be less likely to attack innocent people.”

  I pulled the food from the kitchen cupboard and filled his bowl. I’d purchased the food a week ago but had been too chicken to make the switch. His favorite food was running low, so it was now or never.

  The sound of nibbles falling into the bowl caught Gus’s attention, and he stretched lazily before descending the doggy stairs. He meandered over with a slight after-nap waddle.

  “Mmmm. Look at the yummy food. I’m sure it tastes really good.”

  He seated himself near the bowl and sniffed. A slow head turn and a twitchy blue- eyed scowl told me he wasn’t happy about the change.

  I sprinkled in some of his favorite kitty bites to entice him. He took another sniff and decided it was okay. I let out a breath of relief.

  “Enjoy your new food.”

  I picked up the postcard from the floor. A lone weathered elephant stood in the middle. The number two was written on the back. I tossed it into the pile with the rest of the postcards from Ian.

  The first postcard that had arrived had carried a glimmer of hope that Ian at least remembered that he was married and would hopefully come back soon to annul it. As more postcards arrived with less information, hope dwindled. It was time for me to act on my own. Take matters into my own hands!

  Tomorrow.

  As I emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, Gus was positioned in front of the door, waiting to ambush me.

  “Didn’t like it?”

  He let out a low growl.

  “You have to try. I’ll sprinkle the last of your kitty bites in there.”

  He followed me to his bowl and plopped down.

  “Be a good boy and eat.”

  My phone vibrated. I double checked the caller ID. There were too many people I avoid these days to answer the phone without looking.

  “How are you?” Mya cooed. Ever since Ian took off, she’s treated me like a porcelain doll teetering on the edge of a high shelf.

  “Mya, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  “But I feel so terrible about everything you’re going through. Greyson is clueless, and Ian left you stranded. I told David I’d hire him just to irritate them to death.”

  I chuckled. “I’m sure he’d do it for free. However, there’s no need. I’m planning on taking a relaxing vacation, but Frankie decided to come along. In fact, he’s planning the trip right now.”

  Mya squealed. “I’m coming over right now! I’m going too!”

  “What about David?”

  “What about him? He’s chasing after Ian right now.”

  “Where is he?”

  “He jumped on a plane heading to Africa yesterday.”

  I gulped. “Please tell me he didn’t do this for me. I don’t want Ian cuffed and carried home in a potato sack so that he’s forced to ‘do right’ by me.”

  “Don’t be silly. David is worried about Ian. If you knew Ian better, you’d know that he doesn’t just marry girls and then take off. Something is wrong. Even though he shouldn’t have left you, there’s a reason he did. I don’t think I’ve ever seen David more worried.”

  “Oh,” I mumbled, my thoughts lost in a kaleidoscope of theories.

  “David will get it sorted out. You know he won’t stop until we’re all a big happy family.”

  I let the happy family reference slide. Her heart was in the right place.

  “I’ll be over in ten minutes. Bye!”

  By the time Mya arrived, Frankie had the destination picked out. Mya giggled and gasped as he showed pictures of our upcoming LA trip.

  “Frankie, we don’t have money for this,” I said.

  “I would help, but David put me on a budget,” Mya pouted. “I’ll probably be able to scrounge enough for a hotel room.”

  “It’ll only cost a couple of thousand all together,” he said. “We’ll drive Lucille to the coast to cut costs. We’ll stay in this swanky upstart hotel. Since their grand opening is soon, they’re giving out promotional deals like crazy to draw vacationers. It’s near the beach. See?”

  I scrolled through the online pictures. It looked modern, clean, and heavenly. The perfect distraction.

  “And the money?” I asked.

  “Don’t I always have a plan?” he asked.

  “Yes, but it usually involves me.”

  He waved his hand as though a gnat floated by. “I have a solution. It’ll only take a few minutes of your time. You’ll even have money left after the vacation is paid off.”

  “How come I don’t believe you?” I asked dryly. “I’ve never seen a penny for any of the gigs you’ve forced me to do.”

  “Sometimes you have to spend money to make money,” he said in his lofty businessman tone. “Anyway, this is a powder-puff gig.” He clicked on to a webpage with a woman punching the air with boxing gloves. Her dark hair fell lightly about her face, framing her pretty smile with cherry-red lips.

  “I’d fight her?” I asked, thinking he must be joking.

  “Actually, you wouldn’t fight at all.”

  “Then what would I do? I refuse to punch anyone.”

  “You take a fall, and she wins. There’s no hitting involved.”

  “Take a fall? Frankie, you’ve come up with some weird gigs before, but this one isn’t sitting well.” Actually, none of them sat well. But this one . . .

  “Look at her. She’s a powder puff. You’ve been whaling on that bag of yours for months. I know,” he muttered. “I’ve had to listen to it. You could beat her with one arm tied behind you.”

  “I thought I was taking a fall?”

  “Exactly! You won’t hurt her and she won’t hurt you. It’ll be the easiest five thousand you’ll make.”

  “I’m not doing it.”

  “Then we can’t go on this fabulous vacation. Look at the sunset! Look at these men! Can you tell me ten seconds in the ring wouldn’t be worth it?”

  “Not even one second!” I headed to the door to escape.

  “Don’t forget you’re working tonight,” he called as I slipped through the door and out of his clutches.

  Chapter 2

  Lenny tromped through the door. “I only have two tonight,” he grumbled, holding the door open for the two couples.

  “No drink special?” I asked, finding it odd that Lenny couldn’t round up more.

  “Tons of specials all over the strip,” he said, ushering the couples to the waiting area. “I think it’s those damn fairy yahoos! They’ve been encroaching on my turf for weeks now.”

  Dorothy minus Toto peeked in the front. “Where are all the couples?”

  “I was just telling Nadia, I think Fairytale Chapel is stealing my haul.”

  Dorothy thought a moment. “Nadia, get these two couples set up and then swing by the Fairytale Chapel with Lenny. We’ve been losing customers left and right.”

  “Frankie, I should stay here. There could be walk-in customers,” I urged, hoping I didn’t have to endure a confined space with Lenny.

  “There haven’t been walk-in customers for days. Investigate for me.”

  “But . . .”

  “No buts!" He clicked his glittery red shoes together three times and returned to the chapel.

  I withheld an eye roll. It nearly killed me.

  “Lenny, give me ten minutes.”

  I helped the couples as quickly and efficiently as possible, even though one woman kept snickering and writing Tin Man instead of her name.

  I ushered the first couple to the aisle and turned on the music. My eyes caught on Vivian and Bernie, who were dressed as poppies and swaying to Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

  “Let’s go!” Lenny tugged on my arm. “I’m losing commission by the second.”

  We hopped onto the old school
bus Lenny used as the chapel’s shuttle.

  “Perhaps you’re losing customers because this bus is really ugly."

  “Everyone loves this bus!” Lenny preened, flipping on the interior party lights.

  Neon lights streaked the ceiling. A disco ball whirled in the rear corner, twirling spots of light. The music thumped through the bus, vibrating the seats.

  “Lenny! Turn it down!” I shouted over the music.

  “This is how I bait them!” he hollered. Giving his bare-breasted hula dancer a flick, he revved the clunky engine.

  I sat in front with fingers stuck into my ears. Thankfully, Fairytale Chapel wasn’t too far away; two miles at the most.

  “I’m telling you, this reeks of Prince Charming! I’m sure he’s leading an assault on the entire chapel industry,” Lenny shouted.

  “I think you’re being dramatic,” I hollered back.

  “Not so! I think he’s mapped my route and is picking up couples before I get there.”

  “Change your route,” I shouted dryly.

  “My route is gold! I’ve spent years developing it. I’ll be damned if he’s going to steal it from me.”

  “All good things must come to an end,” I offered.

  “Just keep an eye out for their bus.”

  “What does it look like?”

  “Like a lumpy, over-glittered pumpkin.”

  I kept my eye on the road and walkways until Lenny pulled alongside the Fairytale Chapel. Costumed workers dressed as fairies fluttered and played between beams of light. The Fairytale Chapel castle was on the small side as far as castles go but was complete with drawbridge and moat. Flags waved on each of the four turrets.

  “The pumpkin bus is in the parking lot,” I said. “They aren’t stealing your customers.”

  “Look in the front window. They’re packed solid. They already finished their route. My route!”

  Prince Charming stepped from the drawbridge. A smile slipped into place as he eyed our idling bus.

  Lenny wrenched open the bus door and stepped out.

  “Gentlemen do not spy on their competition,” Prince Charming stated. His eyes raked over the bus. Disgust wrinkled his otherwise handsome features.

  “He really does look like Prince Charming,” I noted.

  Lenny shot me the same look of disgust. “He’s wearing makeup and tights. He even has white girly gloves.”

  “I don’t judge.”

  “What hails you? We’re up to our coffers in marital bliss.”

  “I came to warn you! Stop using my route, or I’ll have to . . .”

  “Have to what?” Charming’s groomed brow arched. “Certainly you can’t imagine your rundown chapel can rival ours?” Charming flicked an imaginary speck off his crisp white tunic.

  “It’s better! We don’t have lame fairies and a stupid prince.”

  “No, ’tis true. You have Frankie.” Charming gave a sad nod. “He’s infinitely worse. And his staff is . . .” Charming’s eyes traveled over Lenny and stopped quite low, “. . . lacking.”

  I cringed. Lenny’s face exploded in crimson.

  “Take that back!” Lenny growled.

  Charming smirked. “I can’t take back what is true.”

  “Then it’s a challenge?” Lenny barked.

  “A challenge would require a worthy opponent.” He chuckled. Unfortunately, I chuckled too. His eyes sought to find the voice. “A beautiful maiden in this wastrel’s carriage?”

  Lenny turned to see the beautiful maiden. When it was only me in sight, he snorted. “That’s just Nadia.”

  “The beauty has a name!” he gushed. “Nadia. Such a name tastes of sweetness on my lips.”

  It was my turn to snort at such a display. No wonder the goofball gets so many women to flock to the chapel. If I was drunk and in need of beautiful words, albeit sappy ones, I’d come here rather than All Celebrities.

  “Thy fair maiden has a honeyed laugh. ’Tis music to my starved ear.”

  “That’s it!” Lenny poked Charming’s nose. “Challenge accepted!”

  Charming sighed and slowly, finger by finger, pulled off his glove, slapping Lenny smartly across the face with it. Lenny sputtered.

  Giggles spilled. I couldn’t control them. Lenny was so wound up he couldn’t see how ridiculous this was.

  “Name your second,” Charming demanded.

  “Frankie!"

  “Then the challenge begins. By the new moon, we shall see who has had the most couples grace their chapel.”

  “Beginning tomorrow.” Lenny scowled. “You already stole my customers tonight.”

  He bowed his assent. “It wouldn’t be fair otherwise.”

  “What are the stakes?” Lenny asked.

  “Other than bragging rights?”

  Lenny gave a tight nod.

  “May I suggest a prime billboard of the winner’s choosing?”

  “A billboard?”

  Charming smiled, white teeth flashing. “Bragging rights in its most glorious and monumental form. Total humiliation for you and your master.”

  Lenny grunted. “Deal! And stay off my route!”

  “’Tis a public road well traveled.” Charming stepped back. “Now vacate my land or the fairies shall be upon you.”

  Lenny snorted. “What can they do? Sprinkle fairy dust on me?” he scoffed and batted his hands like diminutive fairy wings.

  “Fairies!” Charming called, growing bored of Lenny. “Do your worst!” He turned and stepped to the front door while fairies surrounded the bus.

  “Uh, Lenny?” I eyed the fairies that, upon closer inspection, had attributes of feral gnomes . . . with no elf hats or red cheeks. And even though they were wearing tights and wings, it did nothing to soften their appearance. Perhaps that’s why they darted between the light beams and not directly in them. “I think we should leave. Now. Right now!”

  Lenny bolted into the bus as they closed in. He slammed the door shut and stepped on the pedal, chugging down the road before the fairies ambushed.

  “Lenny, you know this is crazy, right? You’re competing with Fairytale Chapel. Even on our best nights we still can’t win.”

  “I’ve got a plan. Frankie said he’ll install a soda machine on the bus. I’ll rig cheap boxed wine into the carbonation system to make sparkling wine. Girls love sparkling wine. Tickles their nose and stuff.” Lenny scratched his round belly. “What the hell is a new moon?”

  * * *

  I peeked at the two cards placed in front of me. King and two.

  I really need a vacation. I can’t even think how to play this hand. I sighed and tossed the hand to the dealer.

  “Sighing is a tell,” Roy said.

  I smiled up at him. “How did you find me?”

  “Word gets around, especially if Gloria’s yapping. Why are you playing at this dive?”

  “It’s not a dive. The Backlash is so retro, it’s trendy.”

  “Let me buy you a drink and we can talk. You’re throwing your money away.”

  I gathered my belongings and followed Roy to the nearest bar.

  When we were settled and drinks were two-thirds gone, Roy said, “Spill it.”

  “There’s nothing to spill.”

  “Then why aren’t you playing at Lost City?”

  “Greyson banned me from Lost City.” I twirled the straw in my drink.

  Roy downed the rest of his and signaled for another, forging strength to talk what was ultimately girl talk. I detected a small shudder.

  “So, you two had a falling out? That crap happens all the time. Why did he toss you out?”

  Quite literally, actually, I remembered. “Because I forced my way in to see him. Remember Fiona from that horrible party Mya threw?”

  “The Nadia Revival Party?” Roy smirked and nodded. “Yeah, she was quite a little number. You didn’t go green-eyed-monster jealous, did you?”

  My eye twitched. “A little, but it had to do with Dagor.” I told him the story of Sergio’s family
and Dagor’s involvement. By the time I finished retelling Dagor’s death, we were on our third round of drinks. Roy looked as if he wanted a car to flatten him as well.

  “So, now you can’t return to Lost City,” he summed up.

  “Right.”

  “But once he knows what happened, I’m sure he’ll let you back in. It’s not the same without you. I’m actually losing money.” He chuckled when I shot him a narrow glance.

  I shrugged. “He might have, but I went and did something completely stupid.”

  Roy sighed into his drink. “Lay it on me.”

  “I married his brother. I didn’t mean to. I just woke up and . . .” I pulled out the pink plastic vending machine ring from my pocket.

  “Shit.”

  “I’m pretty sure I said the same thing.”

  “Since you have the ring, I’m assuming you haven’t annulled it yet.”

  I shook my head. “I was waiting for Ian to return. He’s in Africa.”

  “Have you heard from him?”

  “I have a pile of postcards, but most of them don’t have messages.”

  Roy scratched his head. A tuft of thinning hair stuck out from the disturbance. Something across the room caught his attention. I followed the direction of his eyes and froze.

  Greyson.

  “What’s he doing here?” I whispered, willing my stalled heart to beat again.

  Roy shook his head. “I don’t know, but I don’t think you need to whisper since he's across the room. She’s here too.”

  I watched as they walked through the lobby. “Is no place safe from him? I thought for sure he only stayed on the strip.”

  “I guess you were wrong.”

  We watched as suits from the Backlash met Greyson and Fiona in the lobby. Several handshakes and smiles later, they headed toward the back offices. My eyes trailed their progression, never losing sight of Greyson and his exquisitely tailored suit. Cut to perfection. My mouth dried. Damn him. Why would he need to meet with the executives here?

  I had an inkling, so I flagged the bartender. “Did Backlash get bought out?” I asked.

  “It’s still on the down low,” he said with a nod. “Do you need a refill?”