AJAYA I -- Roll of the Dice

by Unknown

  "I... he... he was like a father to me, until..." Karna stopped short and turned his head away. He stood up and walked to the window. He did not want Balarama to see his tears. 'Am I a woman who cries over such silly things?' he thought. In the garden outside, a beautiful young girl sat on a park bench, singing a melodious song. A few of her friends sat listening with rapt attention as her mellifluous voice caressed the flowers and added a special fragrance to the breeze. Her voice soothed his mind and stirred feelings of some unimaginable pleasure.

  "Did he discover who you were?"

  Karna turned quickly, his eyes full of the anguish in his soul. He told Balarama his story - from the day he left the shores of Prabhasa as a young boy, to winning the coveted title of Dharmaveera. But when he narrated the curse of his Guru, his voice dropped almost to a whisper. "I am a fugitive now, with all the Kings of the Southern Confederate baying for my blood. They want my head for making Parashurama look a fool. I do not know what happened to my Guru. I cheated them and perhaps I deserve to be punished." He smiled at Balarama ruefully.

  "I knew something had happened to you since my spies inform me that Guru Parashurama is still unconscious and that a warrior from the North, who was his disciple, did something terrible to him. I had given you up for dead until I got a message from the King of Gokarna." Balarama went to his desk. Taking a palm leaf from it, he handed it to Karna, whose face darkened as he read.

  "Karna, I would love to have you stay here, but things are not as they seem in Dwaraka. I am fighting a tough battle with the conservatives here. I have to compromise on certain things to prevent civil war. I fear that one day we Yadavas are going to kill each other and put an end to all I have been working for. Rest today and start early tomorrow for Hastinapura. Bhishma has things under control there I hope. Moreover, Graduation Day for the students of Guru Drona is only a month away, and you can perhaps apply for an Officer's post with Prince Suyodhana. As you know, once graduation is over, the Prince comes of age and gains some independence in taking decisions in the affairs of State. I will write a letter to him, recommending an Officer's post for you... not that you need any recommendation," said Balarama smiling.

  Karna looked away to the garden. The girl had left and except for a few butterflies and sparrows, it was empty. His mind was in turmoil. The future looked bleak indeed. The King of Gokarna's message was clear. Karna was a wanted man. The Kings of the northern kingdoms, if they found him, were to capture him dead or alive, and hand him over to the Confederate. Danger lurked everywhere, and like a fool, he was roaming about the streets of Dwaraka, blissfully unaware. An arrow from someone hiding behind a tree or pillar could finish off the Shudra Dharmaveera in an instant.

  "Namaste, brother."

  Karna's stomach knotted on hearing the familiar voice. He turned to see his hated foe standing at the door.

  "Yes, Krishna? Have all the arrangements for the puja been made?" Balarama tried to sound casual. With his yellow silken dhoti, a peacock feather in his curly hair, glittering ornaments all over his body, his flute tucked into his waistband, and a garland of flowers around his neck, Krishna looked divine. There could not have been a greater contrast than the simple white cotton Balarama wore and Krishna's finery. Karna could not help noticing how handsome the younger Yadava Prince looked.

  "Namaste," Krishna said to Karna with a smile. "I seem to know this young man from somewhere, brother."

  "He is Vasusena Karna of Hastinapura, an old friend of mine. You cannot find a better archer in all of India," Balarama replied proudly, while Karna looked bashful at this sudden praise.

  "Ah! Now I remember him. He is that Suta boy who went to the South to become a warrior. He may be your friend brother, but his former supporters at the Confederate are now on the lookout for him. What is he doing here? Do you want the Confederate armies to descend upon Dwaraka and reduce our city to dust? Also, I think you forget Prince Arjuna, when you say Vasusena is the greatest archer in the land." Krishna smiled.

  Karna burned with anger at the insult. He knew the Yadava Prince was merely trying to provoke him and was waiting for Karna to react. That would have been good enough reason to order his arrest. But Karna stood in silence.

  "Krishna, why are you trying to pull his leg? You may be rest assured that I have sufficient influence with the Kings of the South. They would not dare start a war now. We are strong enough to defend our walled city. Please leave us alone now. I will discuss the arrangements for the puja later," Balarama said.

  Krishna kept smiling at Karna. "As you wish, brother. Do ensure our people are protected from the Confederate armies." He bowed formally to Balarama, folded his hands in farewell to Karna, and walked out of the room. Karna continued to see the frozen smile long after he had gone.

  Balarama turned to Karna, a frown between his eyes. "You must leave Dwaraka. Go to Hastinapura, and watch your back. Keep a low profile. There are many forces working around us. Do not underestimate Parashurama's power and reach. It does not matter that he is lying unconscious somewhere in the South. Leave Dwaraka before dawn."

  A chill went down Karna's spine when he heard the weariness in the Yadava's voice. He wanted to ask him many things but before he could open his mouth, Balarama called a servant and asked him to show Karna to his chamber. Karna bowed and touched the Yadava leader's feet before taking his leave. His mind was in turmoil. He did not know what the future held. The only thing he was sure of was that danger lurked at every turn. The spies of the Southern Confederate could reach him anytime, anywhere. As he reached the guest chamber, he saw Krishna standing with his arms crossed, at the end of the shadowy corridor. Involuntarily, Karna's hand went to the hidden urumi at his waist. Krishna did not miss the Suta's action and his taunting laughter filled the empty corridor. Karna quickly entered the chamber and stood with his back firmly pressed against the closed door, thinking frantically about what to do. He locked the door and sat down on the couch in the corner. For a long time he sat, tensely listening for any footsteps or suspicious movements, until exhaustion finally claimed him and dragged him into a dreamless sleep. The palace remained eerily silent.

  A soft knock on the door woke Karna with a start. It was dark. He had slept for a long time. He cautiously opened the door, keeping a firm grip on his sword. A beautiful face looked back at him. Karna's heart skipped a beat. The girl had captivated him with her song that afternoon. He did not know what to do. Should he invite her in? Was it improper to keep her standing outside?

  Her red lips parted in a pearly smile at Karna's confusion. "I am Subhadra, your friend's sister," she said, bringing her palms together in greeting. Karna bowed and stepped out. "Prince, I hear you are going to Hastinapura tomorrow. Will you be meeting the Crown Prince there?" There was a hint of bashfulness in her voice.

  "Devi, I am no Prince. I am Karna, a charioteer's son. But it is true I am going to my hometown," Karna replied with an amused smile.

  "Oh, I thought you too, were a Prince of Hastinapura... never mind, can you pass on a message to Suyodhana?" Subhadra asked, biting her lip at her mistake in using the Crown Prince's name instead of the honorific.

  Karna looked at her as she lowered her eyes. He smiled at her flushed cheeks and teased, "It is not easy for commoners like me to meet Princes and Kings."

  "Oh you must. Just mention my name and you will get an audience," Subhadra told him blithely. "Tell him I will be there for the Graduation ceremony... and that I miss him."

  Karna looked at the twinkling eyes and the curly hair that flowed down to her waist. 'Lucky bastard,' he thought. His mind was fluttering like a trapped butterfly. Someone already had a claim on her and he should forget such thoughts. Karna sighed ruefully. Such was the luck of some people - to be born into a noble house and be loved by a beautiful Princess.

  "Sister," Karna addressed Subhadra, and felt immediately relieved by the appellation, "I shall try to pass on the message to His Excellency."

  "Thank you," she said, bowing to him. S
he turned and disappeared into the darkness with a flurry of rustling skirts and chiming anklets.

  Karna gently bolted the door. A little of her sweet fragrance had sneaked into the room and his thoughts wandered again as he sat by the open window, looking at a smiling moon floating among the clouds. How beautiful life was! He contemplated Subhadra's message. How was he going to get an audience with the Crown Prince? The innocence of her love was so refreshing. One day, perhaps life would reward him with such a pure love. His thoughts drifted to his humble home and poor parents. He felt guilty that he had not thought about them much in the long years of his absence. There had been a new world to conquer and an exciting life to be lived. They were so far away and he was chasing his dreams. But sitting in a dark room in Dwaraka, the small hut in Hastinapura did not seem so far away to Karna. It could not have been easy for the old couple in his absence. He could understand them better now. Living in the same house, they constantly saw the bed he had slept in, the broken toys he had played with, the dress he had discarded, and would have thought of him every day. Karna missed his father's gentle smile and his mother's cooking, the touch of her hand on his head. He longed for home.

  His reverie was broken by the sound of footsteps. A normal man would not have heard them, but Karna was a warrior trained by the best Guru in India and his body sensed danger even before his ear heard the soft sound of feet. Someone was outside! He could feel it. Had someone pushed the door slightly to test its strength? It might have been nothing, perhaps just the wind, but not a leaf stirred outside. Just then, the moon went into hiding behind a dark cloud and there was a sudden chill in the air.

  Karna quietly picked up his small bundle, checked his weapons, and listened. 'Am I getting paranoid?' he wondered, as he walked on tiptoe towards the window. Outside, the sky was cloudy. Most of the torches around the palace had died away. Near the fort gate, a flickering torch cast its reluctant light on a couple of dozing guards. Karna weighed his options. This place was dangerous and it was best to get out of Dwaraka before dawn. The journey would be tricky as miles of jungle and desert lay between here and Hastinapura. It was easy to get lost in the intervening arid lands and ruins of ancient cities. He needed a horse. Going on foot was out of the question. Graduation Day for the Princes was nearing and he had a vague plan about how to impress the powerful people and gain employment. Perhaps the Yadava leader would lend him a horse. It was still dark.

  This time it was unmistakable. The door rattled and the tip of a knife was inserted through the gap between the door and the doorframe. Someone was trying to move the bolt. Karna's heart thudded in his chest. There could be many warriors waiting for him in the corridor. 'Should I stay and fight or get the hell out of here before it is too late?' Someone kicked the door, but it held. Karna grasped his possessions and jumped out of the window. His assailants would expect him to make a dash for the gate or hide in the garden. He had to outwit them, so he perched just under the window, saving his breath.

  A dark face peered out and cursed. "The bloody Suta has escaped!" The speaker kicked over a table and the sound of shattering glass reverberated across the palace.

  "Bloody fool! Do you want to wake everyone?" snapped a voice. Silence followed.

  They could be coming any moment now. Where were the Royal stables? Was it the faint outline of a roof he could see on the eastern flank? They could catch him any moment. Karna ran across the lawn, half expecting an arrow to pierce his throat. He touched his armour, finding comfort in its heaviness and promise of protection. Karna reached the stables, panting and out of breath. He could see four dark figures moving through the palace gardens, searching every bush and tree. In the faint light of the torch at the gate, their shadows had grown into monsters crawling across the lawn. The horses were restless, sensing the presence of a stranger. If one of them neighed, it would attract the prowling men's attention. Then there would be no option but to fight; to kill or be killed.

  There were hundreds of fine horses in the stables. Karna quickly assessed each. Finally, he found the black one he wanted and went up to it, praying it would not neigh. He approached cautiously, speaking gently to calm it down before untying it and walking it out of the stable. The stable guards were sleeping on charpoys under the open sky. Karna steered the horse clear of them and began walking towards the gate, careful to keep to the shadow of the thick fort wall. He mounted only when he was sure he had put enough distance between himself and the stables and then trotted towards the gate, telling himself to remain calm.

  There were streaks of red in the Eastern sky. The Morning Star shone brightly. Karna kept an eye on his pursuers, who were showing signs of agitation. Suddenly one of them stopped and stared in his direction. Karna halted, hoping that stillness would be less conspicuous than movement. The moon escaped the folds of the dark clouds exactly at that moment. One of the men saw Karna on the horse and clicked his tongue loudly to alert his companions. They turned immediately, saw him, and sprinted in pursuit. Karna galloped towards the gates. He had no idea of how he would make the guards open the massive fort gates before his enemies caught up with him. The wall was too high to jump over. His horse neighed in frustration, finding its path blocked. The guards, who had been dozing, awoke and saw Karna struggling to control his horse. Karna cursed his luck as more guards came running towards him from various parts of the fort. He was trapped!

  Karna saw that his four pursuers had quietly slipped away and were no longer part of the posse which now surrounded him with naked swords and lances at the ready. Obviously, they did not want the others to know of their presence. That made them all the more dangerous. Karna knew that even if he somehow managed to talk his way out, he would still have to face those dangerous men later on his long journey to Hastinapura.

  The Security Chief arrived. Pointing his sword at Karna, he barked at him to dismount. Karna complied without a word. Resisting would have been foolish. There were hundreds of armed guards around him. He did not know how to explain the possession of a horse from the Royal stables. It would be embarrassing if his host was informed.

  "Hey! Aren't you the warrior who sought audience this morning?" the Security Chief asked. Karna looked down. It was shameful to be caught as a common thief. "Do you have any explanation for this, Sir?" the Chief asked politely.

  Karna could not think of any answer without being untruthful. The Chief called one of his assistants and said something to him softly. The man bowed and ran towards the palace. Karna knew what that meant and fervently wished the ground would open and swallow him up. The messenger had gone to fetch Balarama.

  ***

  "What is this nonsense, Chief?" The booming voice of the Yadava leader filled the air and the guards immediately bowed respectfully.

  "Your Excellency, this man was trying to steal..." began the Chief.

  Balarama interrupted him. "Steal! Do you know who he is? This horse is my gift to him. You have now insulted my guest. Chief, people will laugh if they hear of this incident. Is this the way the Yadavas treat their friends and guests? What have you done, Sir?"

  The Chief hung his head in shame while Karna looked at Balarama in astonishment. "I apologize for my audacity, Sir. Please forgive your humble servant." The Chief bowed before Karna, burning with shame.

  Karna was at loss for words. The man had only been doing his duty and was now being shamed before his subordinates. Anything Karna said would sound incongruous.

  "Do not worry Chief," Balarama said, patting the poor man on the shoulder. "You have done your duty well. It is my fault. I should have informed you earlier that our guest would be leaving early. All of you have served Dwaraka well," Balarama said to the guards. Smiles broke out on the previously anxious faces.

  "Sir, you are too kind, we do but our duty..." The Chief kept his head bowed but his shoulders were no longer tense.

  Karna touched Balarama's feet and whispered that he was sorry for what had happened. The first rays of the sun were nudging the earth from her s
leep.

  "Beware, Karna! The path you have chosen is not easy. I do not know what has transpired to make you leave in such desperate haste. But danger will always be just one-step behind you. You have dared to challenge centuries-old prejudices and the old India is not going to let you go so easily. May the compassionate blessings of Mahadeva be with you always. Whatever happens, remember one thing - be grateful for what life has offered you and be generous, especially when fortune and luck desert you. Godspeed Karna. I hope Hastinapura will have the eyes to see your ability and not your caste."

  As Karna mounted his horse, he heard another voice that instantly filled him with dread. He quickly turned his head and saw Krishna in all his divine glory, standing beside his frowning elder brother. The smile never left Krishna's dark and handsome face when he repeated what he had said earlier, a little more loudly this time, "Hastinapura is very far away, my friend... really far, and the path is perilous and hard. Do you have it in you to make it, Karna?"

  Karna felt his anger rise at the taunt but willed himself to keep calm. Saying nothing, he brought his palms together and bowed his head. Turning his horse towards the rising sun, he said a silent prayer. His heart leapt with joy at the prospect of going home. 'Hastinapura is waiting for me,' he thought, closing his eyes for a moment to trap the bliss he felt. He did not think of the dangers that lay ahead. He only felt extreme gratitude for life. And so he left the two Yadava brothers, so different from each other, to fight their own cold wars. He turned north, leaving behind the streets of Dwaraka with the milling crowds who were indifferent to his destiny and pursuits. He would ride through steaming jungles, sweltering deserts, and dry riverbeds, in the coming days. Hastinapura awaited the return of the humble Suta who had dared to dream.