by Vicki Green
Dinner ended up being just what I needed. Brock and I bantered back and forth like we used to. I have to admit though. Watching them look at each other with such strong love and affection, him leaning over and giving her a kiss, or laying his hand on her stomach, made me want to run upstairs and cry myself to sleep. Once the dishes were done, which I tried to help by carrying them over holding onto one crutch, only caused one of their plates to break when I dropped it, Taren and I grabbed blankets and pillows and snuggled with them on the couch. We found an old horror movie. We trembled in fear, holding each other’s hands under the blanket and then laughed when we jumped out of our skins at a scary part. Just what I needed. Brock was already in bed asleep by the time we made our way upstairs. She kissed my cheek and gave me a hug before she turned and went to her bedroom. After I changed into a pair of my sleep pants and camisole, I climbed into bed and stared up at the ceiling and started thinking about Caylan, feeling like sleep would never come.
Chapter Ten
Caylan
Walking into the restaurant at the hotel feels like walking into my death. My hands are sweaty, and my heart is beating in overdrive. All I can think about is my life might change in an instant. I’ve kept trying to imagine her face, which one she is. Isn’t that sad? That should tell me something. Something that I don’t like about myself very much. It’s no wonder Irish wouldn’t have anything to do with me at first. She probably saw me just like the many men that have been in her mom’s life. No one sticking around and actually being a father figure or take care of things. It sounds like she became the mom and the dad in her house, taking care of a baby brother and little sister while she should have been having the time of her life with her friends¸ worrying about a test at school or what she should wear on any given day. She shouldn’t have had to be burdened with all that responsibility and worry at such a young age. Oh, she’s strong because of it, but it was so unfair.
I look around, trying to see any familiar face when a blonde, curly haired woman waves at me from the farthest booth in a corner. I smile, well, I think I smiled, and start walking towards her. As I get closer, memories of the one night we shared together then the endless calls, texts, and the late night visits at my apartment back home, start filling my head. As always, I had made it very clear I wanted no commitment. It was only a one night thing, no ties, only sex. She’d agreed and I remember the sex was such a disappointment. There was nothing there, that’s for sure, but she told me she wanted more. The next day, I’d gone home to my parents, and Jen had told me she knew of her, that she was a leech and to watch my step. I had laughed and told her not to worry because I’d never be seeing her again, only to find her at my door later that evening.
She stands as I get closer. My upbringing makes me give her a small hug and then I sit down after she does. I’ve always been shown to treat all women with respect, even though there are times I’d rather just be a dick, depending on the woman. This is one of those times. A waitress immediately interrupts us before we have a chance to speak. I order a water, wanting a clear head, and no way can I even think about eating. My stomach is already tied in knots. “Margie.” I only speak her name as I have no other pleasantries to give her.
“Caylan. Thank you for coming. I appreciate it.” She’s being too nice, under the circumstances.
The waitress chooses this moment to bring me my water. I smile and thank her then notice Margie has water and a half eaten plate of food in front of her. I look over at her and take a drink of my water, trying to cool myself down. “So. I understand you came to my apartment this morning?” I rarely ever have taken a woman to my apartment and since Margie and I met in my hometown, I’m wondering how she even knew where I lived now.
She frowns. Great. “Yes. I’m sorry about that but I had no other way to contact you. You never did give me your new number.” Of course I didn’t. I watch as she covers her rather large stomach with her hand. “I just thought you should know that you’re gonna be a daddy.” Here we go. My throat tightens as I try to swallow. Keep calm, Caylan. It’s not going to help to fly off the handle here.
“Congratulations to you. I don’t know how to ask this in a way that doesn’t sound mean. May I ask how you know the baby is mine?” Good. Just keep calm.
Her brows lower and she frowns. Ut, oh. “Um…. I’ve never been with anyone else.” Liar. Okay, either she lied when we were together, that one night, and told me she wasn’t a virgin – I always ask, or she’s lying now.
“I see. So when we were together that night, you didn’t tell me the truth that you weren’t a virgin?” My anger is beginning to swell, my heart rate increasing even more. I start shifting my eyes around the room, looking for the nearest exit in case I need to make a hasty retreat.
“Well, I normally don’t lie….” Sure you don’t. “But I thought if you knew I was a virgin you wouldn’t make love to me.” Her eyes start filling up with tears. Cue the poor me. “I really hated lying to you, Caylan. I’m sorry.” Oh, really?
I lean forward on the table, pressing my arms down on the wood. “Listen. First of all, it was sex. Only sex, nothing else. I told you that night I don’t do commitments and you agreed.” I watch a tear fall from one of her eyes but I’m not backing down. She knew that night that it was only sex and only one night. I always make sure. I look down at her hand laying on her stomach and back up into her eyes. “Look. I’m sorry, please understand I’m just trying to make sure. I have no issues owning up to my responsibility IF it is mine to own up to.” Her lips part, her eyes widen as her brows raise up high. “I believe we should do a DNA test and I’ll be in contact with my lawyer.” Her mouth shuts and she glares at me. “Make no mistake. If this child is truly mine, it will be a shared custody. I will show this baby all the love it needs from a father, be there for them, and I will move back home, if needed, so I can have them every other weekend and other specified times. I will provide a monthly monetary amount for support and will do whatever I can for them. For them, Margie, not for you. You should have been more careful.”
“I was hoping….” She begins to stammer. “That I could live with you, have you take care of us. Maybe become a real family.” Her chin begins to quiver as I sit back in my seat. “I really don’t have anywhere else to go and…. I moved out of my apartment back home to come be closer to you. I don’t know where I’ll go if you don’t….” She grabs a napkin and begins to cry. She’s good, I’ll give her that. I grab a few more napkins from the dispenser on the table and hand them to her. She takes them and blows her nose.
I grow angrier and sterner every second. “You should have talked to me first before making those decisions, Margie. Stay at this hotel or move to a nicer one and I’ll pay for it. You decide and let me know. I’ll be contacting my lawyer and I’ll set up a DNA test appointment. I’ll make all the arrangements and will even pick you up to take you to it.” A look of surprise and fear both appear on her face.
“But…. I….”
“If you’re not lying, Margie, then you have nothing to worry about. Now….” I slide out of the booth, pull my wallet out of my back pocket, and pull out enough to more than cover her meal and lay it on the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some important matters to attend.” Her mouth drops open as I turn to leave. I stop and look over my shoulder. “Don’t call me unless it’s an emergency. I’ll be in contact and let you know when I’ll pick you up for the appointment. Should you choose to move to another hotel, have them and this hotel contact me for the payment information. Good day.” With that I walk out in a hurry, not giving her time to say anything more. By the time I walk out of the hotel, into the late evening, I’m exhausted. I walk to my truck, slide onto the seat, put the key in the ignition and turn it on. I rest my forehead against the steering wheel and try to breathe. They seem to be coming out in long pants. Am I really having a heart attack right now? Seems fitting after what I just went through.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I’m almost afraid
to see if it’s her calling me already. When I pull it out and look at the screen, I see it’s a text from Irish. Thank God! I had sent so many texts and left so many voicemails with no answer that a part of me had given up. I’ve tried to remain hopeful but it’s been hard. Then after going through that with Margie, I’ve started to feel like this situation has gotten so much worse so fast. Quickly I open up the text and smile.
Irish: Just give me some time. Let me know what happens
I let out a sigh of relief. At least she communicated with me. That has to mean something, right? I quickly shoot back a text.
Me: Please don’t give up on me. On us.
I wait for a reply but one doesn’t come. I buckle myself in, laying my phone on the console, and put my truck in reverse. I know what she’s doing. She’ll drive herself crazy thinking and who knows what will happen. I won’t give up. I’ll never give up. I grab my phone and send off another text.
Me: Quit thinking so hard. I want you. Only you.
I know she’s thinking about me, about us. I also know she’s scared and confused. I don’t want to push her, take any chance away from us being together, but I know how her mind works. She’s stewing, thinking about everything. She’ll end up running from me just because she’ll make up her own mind off her past and fear. I can’t let that happen. After setting my phone back onto the console, I back out of the parking spot and head home. Home. It doesn’t feel like a home anymore. Maybe I should move back to Homeland, back to where my roots are. Maybe being close to Mom and Jen will be better for me. No. It will make me look defeated, that I couldn’t make it on my own. I refuse to do that. Plus, there’s no way I want to be far from Irish. I have to make her see that she is it for me, that I want her in my life and I’ll not take no for an answer. We can get through this. Isn’t that what relationships do? Don’t they work through any problems that arise? I’m not foolish enough to know we haven’t been together that long, haven’t really talked about what this is between us, but I know how I feel and I’m in it for the long haul. I just hope she feels the same someday.
I’m in a daze as I drive. When I finally get into my apartment, I just stand just inside, the door closed behind me, and look around. Just this morning this felt like an actual home. I couldn’t wait to get home tonight to hold Irish in my arms, ask about her day, and check on her knee. I was ready to make us a good dinner, eat and talk about us, then take her to bed and make passionate love to her. My cock aches just thinking about her. How quickly things changed, turned to shit and drove her away. I walk into the kitchen, open the fridge door and grab a beer. I normally only drink a couple of beers when I’m out and usually never at home but right now, I need one. This has been a shit day. I take my beer into the living room, sit down on the couch, and turn on the TV, just for the noise because I don’t really want to watch anything. After half of the bottle is gone, I take out my phone and call my friend from home. My lawyer friend.
“Go home. You’ve worked enough today,” I immediately say when he picks up.
“Well, I’ll be damned. Caylan Dorn. How the hell are ya?” He seems pleased to hear from me. Too bad he won’t feel that way for long. A sigh leaves me without permission. “Oh, no. What’s wrong?”
Marcus and I went to high school together. Then he went on to a different college than I did because he went into law where I was studying for a business degree. He graduated at the top of his class and is now a highly sought after lawyer in New York. I’ve only had to use his services twice but they were minor compared to this.
“Hey, Marcus. Hope things are good with you. Well, I think my wild ways have finally caught up with me or at least one of them.”
“Yikes. That doesn’t sound good, my friend.” His voice is low, serious. I went on to explain the entire situation. We talked for about an hour and he gave me a few options. He agreed a DNA test is a must to be able to prove if I’m the father of the child or not. “You can have her OB/GYN do a test now as it can be determined through the bloodstream of her and then a blood test for you. It is 99.9% accurate and will hold up in court. She’s too far along to do an Amniocentesis so I won’t go into that. If it is found that you are not the father then I will draw up the necessary papers for her to sign, removing you from any responsibilities. However, if it finds that you are truly the father then when she goes into labor and is in the hospital, you can both fill out an Acknowledgment of Paternity form that will allow you to have your name on the birth certificate and the baby will obtain your last name. In that case, I can draw up papers to your specifications on what you two agree on as far as custody, child support, and visitation. Of course you have my number and email address so please feel free to contact me at any day or hour.” His words are sinking in a little but I’m having a hard time concentrating on them. “Look, Caylan.” I blink a few times and take a drawl from my beer. “I’ll do whatever I can to help, you know that, but from what you’ve told me, she sounds a little crazy and obsessed with you. You might have to end up getting a restraining order if it comes to that. Just watch out for yourself. Okay, man?”
I nod and thank him for everything then hang up. Crazy. Obsessed. Yeah, she does fit the bill for that. She never did tell me how she got my address here. Think, Caylan. Think. Try to remember that night. Shit, it was so long ago and there’s been so many since then. My phone vibrates in my hand and I’m a little relieved when I see it’s Jen calling.
“Hey, sis. What’s….”
“Oh, my God, Caylan. What have you gotten yourself into now?” The shrill of her loud voice makes me pull my phone away from my ear. What the hell? She’s still yelling when I bring it back to my ear. “So then she called me and told me she’s pregnant. And I don’t mean a little pregnant but a lot pregnant. Like she could give birth in the next few weeks and then she proceeds to tell me you’re the father. Well, I went ballistic then until she told me you and she got together when you were home nine months ago and I went crazy.”
“Wait! Wait! Slow down, Jen.” My heart is back to beating a mile a minute in fear as things slowly get pieced together.
“Margie Baker. You remember. She worked as a temp for a few months at our office then we all went out that one night but I had to leave early?” Shit!
“Uh, yeah.”
“It would have been nice to tell me you all did the dirty deed because when she showed up at the office a few days ago and I saw her condition then she told me who the daddy is, I about lost it.”
“Yeah. So you gave her my address, didn’t you?”
“I had too! She’s crazy you know!” Yeah, I know. “I figured if you are the daddy you needed to know and lay in that bed you made. I remember all the times you told me that she kept following you and trying to get a relationship started, even though you told her it would never happen.”
“Gee, thanks. Does Mom know?”
“Oh, hell no! I think that would be up to you to tell her unless you choose not to then I’ll have no choice but to tell her. You know she doesn’t want to be a grandma at this stage of her life.” I roll my eyes.
“Gee, thanks for thinking about me, at all.”
Silence. Silence is never a good thing with Jen. “Look, brother. If you got her pregnant, I figure you deserve to take her wrath. If not, then I’m sorry. So what are you gonna do?” Right now, I want to die. Quickly.
“I just got off the phone with Marcus Phillips. You remember, from high school?” She remembers. “He’ll be drawing up the necessary papers after Margie and I have a DNA test done. I’ll be calling my doctor first thing in the morning, before work, to set up the appointment. I’m paying for her to stay at a hotel close by until we can get the results.”
I hear her gasp and then she sighs. “Need me to come there? I really think you should have family around you. And what about Irish? How is she taking this?” Oh, where do I start?
“No. I think you should stay home. Mom may need your support worse than I do if the test results are positive that
I’m the father. Irish? Yeah, she won’t talk to me.” She won’t talk to me, she barely sent me one text and basically told me to leave her alone. Just when we were getting closer. Just when I thought maybe we had a chance.
“Oh, no! I’m sorry, bro. I really am. I just don’t get it. You’ve always been really careful. I know you’ve had a wild past but c’mon. I know you’ve always taken every precaution and you treat all women respectfully. I’d like to think I had a hand in that.” Her voice is full of pride at the end. She’s right, of course.
I rub my hand over my face in frustration. “Yes. You really did. That’s why I just don’t trust this. Trust her. She’s shown more than once how she won’t give up. That’s why I called Marcus. He’s the best.”
“Good. Okay, well, if you need me, you know how to get a hold of me. Mums the word until you do. Good luck and you know I’m behind you. Love you, Caylan.”
“Thanks, sis. Love you too.”
I end the call and sit back and drain the rest of my beer. I guess I’d better try to go get some sleep, even though I don’t think I’ll be able to. I decide to send her one more text.
Me: Goodnight, love. I miss you so much.
My heart is heavy and hurts so badly. All I can think about is how much I miss her.
Irish
I’ve tossed and I’ve turned until I’m about to go crazy. Sleep is evading me. All I can see when I close my eyes is his face and then that girl’s pregnant stomach. GAH! My phone vibrates on the nightstand so I lean over and pick it up. I turn over on my back and see it’s a text from Caylan. This isn’t helping me go to sleep.
