Love Inspired November 2013 #2

by Emma Miller

  “Why are you in such a foul mood? Did they close the ski season early?” Evie softened her words with a smile. She’d be in a terrible mood, too, if she was employed in name only.

  “Dunno. Just thinking.” He picked at an invisible thread on his suit jacket. “I was always the fearless one and you were the responsible one. Now I feel like I’m stuck in an endless loop of meetings and you’re branching out.”

  “Branching out? Like joining this finance board? That’s hardly exciting.”

  “You seem so happy, so ready to take on the world.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Maybe it’s Gavin.”

  She wanted to hush him but knew Gavin wouldn’t be coming tonight. The lab was completely overrun with work. Evie rolled her eyes, aiming for scorn but ending up somewhere near startled. Jack had said the name of the man who had taken up permanent residence in her daydreams after Sunday.

  “Since you met him, you seem different. Less fearful.” As she opened her mouth to argue, he raised a hand. “I’m not saying you used to creep around like a scared bunny. But you seemed to think that God was waiting to smite you down if you messed up.”

  “I thought being afraid of doing the wrong thing was what happened when you grew up.” Did Jack think she wasn’t as committed to making the right choice just because she was growing closer to Gavin? Cold fear rose in her chest and she struggled to hear his words.

  “You know that verse about perfect love casting out all fear?”

  “But I’m not in love with Gavin.” At least, she didn’t think so. Definitely in like. A lot of like.

  His lips tugged up. “Not Gavin. God.”

  Evie blinked and then sat back in her chair, eyes on the ceiling. Jack was the deep thinker, the dreamer, the free spirit. She was the bottom-line girl, the one who made sure all the papers were signed and worried whether the insurance was current. Twins, but sometimes as different as night and day. Right now she felt like following this conversation was like trying to swallow an elephant.

  “Somehow, I’m not sure exactly, they’re connected.” Jack nodded to himself, as if he made perfect sense.

  She thought of their little games, their teasing. But Gavin’s lightheartedness never felt like it came at the expense of what really mattered. He was strong and steady, sheltering, protecting. “When I saw him on Sunday, he said some things about grace that made a lot of sense to me.”

  She glanced up, hating to admit she was wrong. “Maybe you were a little bit right on the overcompensation. Maybe I’m trying too hard to earn forgiveness instead of just accepting my second chance. Christ gives it as a gift, and I’ve been treating it like it was bartered for my perfect behavior ever since the moment I...” She wasn’t sure what the end of the sentence was.

  “Hit bottom?”

  “Yup. Maybe there was some fear that God was going to get revenge, that I’d better not do anything wrong or it would be on the front page.” She shrugged, feeling the old fear slide around in her chest.

  “He doesn’t work that way, thankfully.” Jack’s lips quirked up just a smidge.

  Evie twiddled her pen, thinking. God wasn’t one to hold a grudge. Forgive and forget actually happened when you said you were sorry for making a mess out of your life. That was perfect love. And her job was to grab that grace with both hands and move forward. She was changed, different, but there was so much more to do. Not out of fear, but out of hope.

  “I lost you for a second, there.”

  Evie shook her head. “Just remembering something I have to do. Will you be free tomorrow? I need some help moving furniture into my apartment.”

  “Sure. But you’ll owe me.”

  “No problem. You want me to cook you dinner?”

  “No. I can’t be there to help the soccer team this week. I told Gavin you’d fill in as assistant coach. You’ve been cleared through all the background checks, so you can hang out with the kids at the Mission. Jose said he’d rather not. Something about winter colds and germs and preferring to chew broken glass.”

  “I don’t know anything about soccer.” Evie hated the tone of panic in her voice.

  “It’s not a date. You kick the soccer ball to the kids. Just don’t dress up. It’s hot in there, gets real sweaty.” Jack got to his feet, smoothing his tie. Evie couldn’t help noticing how he’d inherited all the good genes. He was tall and lean and could eat like a horse. Perfect smile, athletic grace and an extrovert to a fault. She’d hate him if he wasn’t such a good guy.

  “I’m going to go see if Nancy left a message at the desk.” He was already pulling the door shut behind him, grin flashing one more time through the crack.

  She groaned. Just perfect. Sweaty, dress-down time in a gym with grade-schoolers...and Gavin. That’s a nice way to erase the memory of that kiss. At least he wouldn’t be tempted to try for a repeat.

  Evie struggled to focus on the papers in front of her. Every few seconds her mind drifted back to that trail behind the church. She had melted into the kiss without thinking it through. All her plans for setting things straight between them had drifted into the mist when his gaze had rested on her mouth. She’d known, in that moment, what it felt like for her heart to make decisions for her head.

  Gavin was something completely unexpected, and for once she wasn’t scared out of her wits about facing the unknown. She was determined: no more slips of the heart until she managed to set everything straight between them. And that included letting him in on her ugly past.

  * * *

  “You’re early for soccer practice.”

  Gavin turned away from the large plate-glass window, searching for the friendly voice. He adjusted his gaze downward. Some part of him was always a bit surprised to see Lana was in a wheelchair. She projected fierce capability. The purple-tipped crew cut didn’t exactly scream “softy,” either.

  “There are worse places to waste a little time.”

  “True, but you don’t really seem the time-wasting type.”

  Gavin wanted to laugh. Lana was sharp, observant. Jack had left a message that Evie would be subbing for him today. It wouldn’t be anything close to romantic, but maybe their next date would be Echo Mountain. Playing in the snow. Hot chocolate. Maybe a little more of what happened on the trail.

  “I need some tea. Would you like me to make you some?” Lana turned back toward the desk.

  “No, thanks. I never pegged you for a tea drinker.”

  “I can’t seem to get warm today. I think Grant must be fiddling with the temperature. I know he wants to cut costs, but I feel like an icicle.”

  “Hi, Lana. Hey, Gavin.” Calista stepped through the front doors, her pea coat unbuttoned over a still-rounded belly, a dusting of snow on her blond hair. She was holding a plate of what smelled like fresh cookies. Her green eyes were tired, but her smile was pure light.

  “Hi, Calista.” Lana reversed herself and accepted a quick hug. “And cookies. You’re my favorite boss’s wife, you know that?”

  “Silly. I better be the only boss’s wife around here.”

  “Let me peek at the little guy.” Lana craned her neck and Calista carefully unwrapped the bulge around her middle.

  Gavin felt his eyebrows rise. “I forgot you’ve got that baby smuggler. Bet it’s great to keep both hands free.”

  “Swaddler, not smuggler. But I sort of like the way you say it.” Calista flashed him a smile. She seemed so joyful, it made him happy just to see her. “True that it keeps my arms from getting tired, but mostly I like having him close to my heart. Nine months of him tucked right under it, now he feels so far away when he’s in the next room.”

  Gavin thought of the little babies he’d seen in the NICU that morning. The swaddler was actually a good idea. It kept people from getting too close, from touching the baby’s face.

  “He’s so tiny,” L
ana said, voice soft with awe.

  “Getting bigger by the day. He’s gained two pounds now. Officially bigger than a bread box.” They all stood admiring the baby for a moment.

  “Speaking of the boss, is my handsome husband slaving away in the back?”

  Lana frowned. “I think he might be walking around near the classrooms. But go ahead on back and I’ll send someone over to tell him you’re here.”

  “Let Marisol know we’re back here. She’ll want her baby fix for the day. And tell Grant if he makes it down here right away, maybe there’ll be a cookie left for him.” She headed toward the office door and punched in a code. “Maybe.” She threw the word over her shoulder with one last smile.

  “Oh, boy. The tea has to wait. I better get someone to tell Grant she’s here.” Lana started toward the long wooden desk.

  “Does he mind her visiting?” Gavin knew she was the VitaWow CEO and had heard rumors of her ability to broker deals no one else could. But they always seemed so happy to just be around each other.

  Lana laughed up at him, pausing with her hands on the wheels. “Oh, not at all. But I think he’s over in the preschool area and they’re finger painting today. She gets a little crazy with the kids. Lets them run right over her. Or maybe joins in the fun, I’m not sure. Anyway—” she started back around the desk “—we try to keep Calista occupied in other areas. May the Lord help them when that baby gets up and running.”

  Gavin turned back toward the window, wondering how Evie would handle kids. When they’d been with Sean at the park, she’d seemed to really like him. Tonight they’d be dealing with forty grade-school kids and a whole lot of soccer balls. He frowned at the snowy street outside. Grandma Lili was afraid no one really got to know each other anymore, just jumped into marriage like it hardly mattered. But he knew Evie. She was so straightforward, clear, upfront. They both weren’t the type of person to throw away a marriage over something silly like snow.

  He blinked at his own reflection. Did he really just put marriage and Evie in the same sentence? Gavin rubbed a hand over his face. Was it her, or was he getting to the age where he’d rather have a family than spend Saturdays snowboarding? He let that sink in for a second and realized it was her, Evie. Saturdays should be spent up in the bright sunlight and clear pine-scented air, freeriding down the mountain on fresh snow. The picture seemed to be expanding to include Evie, when it had been just him before. Even better if there was a family in there somewhere, too.

  It was a relief he hadn’t reached middle age overnight and was just looking for any available woman. It wasn’t so reassuring to realize this one particular woman had him thinking years into the future.

  Evie’s light blue VW bug pulled up at the corner and crossed the street to the Mission parking lot. Gavin felt a smile spread over his face for no particular reason. He felt goofy with anticipation. And realized he’d look pretty odd standing at the window, waiting for her to come in. He turned and headed toward the gym, shucking his coat as he went.

  “Don’t forget the key to the athletic equipment room,” Lana called after him, waving a key in one hand.

  Gavin reversed his trajectory and snagged the key. “Thanks. Just going to get the balls and jerseys out.”

  The gym still smelled like lunch, and if he wasn’t mistaken, there was chili cooking for dinner. Marisol could cook anything, but her specialty was the comfort foods of winter. His stomach gave a rumble and he thought of the breakfast burrito he’d had hours ago. It was going to be hard to concentrate with all those delicious smells coming from the kitchen.

  The day had been packed with hospital visits and lab visits, and the rest of the evening would be more of the same. But he’d made a commitment to these kids and he would try to keep his promises as long as he could. At the rate this epidemic was going, he was going to have to start sleeping at the office to save time on the commute.

  As Evie opened the cafeteria door and walked inside, his heart reminded him that missing lunch and needing dinner were going to be the very least of his distractions this afternoon.

  * * *

  Hair up in a ponytail and exercise gear, check. Lip gloss and running shoes, check. Ready to face Gavin, not even a little.

  Evie blew out a breath and pasted a bright smile to her face. She hoped she looked cheery, kid-friendly and physically fit. She could probably pull them all off except the first one.

  He was dressed in the usual T-shirt that fit snuggly around his biceps, shorts, running shoes. She tried not to give him the once-over but could hardly help herself. He’d been at the front of the line when God handed out good looks.

  “How’s your day been?” He asked the question over his shoulder, putting the key into a small door near the kitchen entrance.

  “Oh, you know.” Her smile was in place even though her heart was disagreeing.

  He turned, key in hand, door hanging open. His brows came down. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  She waved a hand. “It’s not a big deal. I’m ready to help.” She tried to look enthusiastic.

  Now his eyebrows had gone up several inches. He leaned a shoulder against the wall, perfectly at ease. “That bad, huh?”

  Evie held her bright smile for a few seconds more and then let it fall away. “Well, yes, actually. Our story on the slave labor ring keeps getting shut down because our sources can’t be verified beyond what the attorneys need to keep the paper out of trouble. Meanwhile we know there are people trapped in this city, working for nothing and probably much worse. Then a major advertiser threatened to pull out and head for The Daily because we don’t print enough reality TV stories and the style section is only four pages. Everybody is reading the news on the internet. Nobody wants to pay for a paper anymore.”

  Her shoulders slumped. And the worst moment, just hours before, appeared when she’d grabbed her courage with both hands and searched online for Senator McHale so she could peer at those old grainy photos of a blonde club singer leaving the presidential candidate’s hotel room. Photos she had taken, of a girl who looked a lot like Allison. She’d been a totally different person then, someone she would hate now, if she met her old self. And maybe he would, too, when he knew. Especially now that she was sure she was at fault for what happened to his sister, it would be impossible for her to just leave the past in the past.

  He said nothing but held out his arms and their eyes met. Evie wanted to walk into them but didn’t know if she dared. Another second passed and she moved without thinking, drawn by an unrelenting need to be held. Maybe it was wrong to let him comfort her when she might have shattered his family. Evie couldn’t think, couldn’t process all the different emotions that threatened to pull her down into chaos.

  All she knew was how it felt wrapped in his arms. Bliss. She laid her head against his chest and took a deep breath. She could hear his heart beating steadily, his breathing slow and even. He smelled wonderful, freshly showered and shaved. She felt the pressure of his cheek against her head and could have stayed there forever. She wanted to catalogue and file away everything about him; his smell, his laugh, his warmth. Her heart was all wrapped up in that smile. Those warm brown eyes seemed to see her better than anyone else.

  The sound of a throat clearing brought her back to reality. Jose was standing there, fighting a huge smile.

  Evie backed out of Gavin’s arms, feeling her face flame hot. It was silly. Just a hug. Maybe it was the cafeteria and the smell of chili wafting from the kitchen, but she felt like a high-school kid caught by the principal.

  “Sorry to interrupt. Marisol wants to know if you two can help her set the tables out when practice is over. She’s short in the kitchen today.”

  “Sure, I can help.”

  “Me, too.” Gavin turned to the equipment room and started to haul netted bags of soccer balls out to the floor. She wondered if he was as embarrassed
as she was.

  Jose gave her a smile and wandered toward the kitchen. “I’ll let Marisol know.”

  “I didn’t ask how your day was.” Evie grabbed some colored cones and brought them to the side line, trying to act businesslike.

  “Do I get a hug if it was really bad?” Gavin’s voice came muffled from the closet.

  She inhaled deeply at the thought. “Sure. Maybe two.” She wanted to roll her eyes at herself. It was so easy to flirt with him, it was hard to resist.

  He emerged with another bag of soccer balls and whistles on cords. “There were three more confirmed cases of pertussis. The politicians have decided we’re not working hard enough on the public opinion front.”

  “A two-page spread in the Sunday edition isn’t enough?” For a moment she was thankful she was her own boss. She never had to deal with impossible expectations from a supervisor.

  “Apparently not. And even worse, I didn’t get any lunch.”

  “No lunch?” A voice behind them held tones of disbelief. Marisol was coming from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. Her dark eyes were narrowed in alarm. “You can’t play with no lunch. You go get some chili before the kids come. Hurry!” She placed her hands on her hips and waited.

  Evie wanted to laugh but thought it was better to get out of the way. Gavin nodded, heading for the kitchen. “Thanks, Marisol.”

  “Tell Mandie to serve you both,” Marisol called out on her way to the office area.

  Gavin slowed down until they were walking side by side. He leaned over and whispered, “Whew. I thought you were going to resist for a moment.”

  “Not on your life. I’m hungry and she’s scary, in a good way. Never mess with the cook.”

  Mandie met them at the serving line and handed them both trays with a bowl of steaming chili. Cornbread and carrot sticks were on a plate to the side.

  “Do we really have time for this?” Evie checked her watch. Fifteen minutes before the kids showed up.

  “Plenty of time. Just watch me.” Gavin waved her to a small table behind the serving area and they sat, awkwardly placing trays at an angle.