Lost Valor

by Kal Spriggs

  Athan rolled his eyes, but he seemed pleased, as if he’d confirmed that we were in his debt. “Fine. There’s three ships headed back to Century, one, the direct passage, leaves tonight. The other two make stops at MCA and Erewhon, respectively, before they return to Century. Those would be your only options. The last one leaves in two days.”

  Two days. That wasn’t enough time. “How long to heal from…” I trailed off, my gaze going to the corpse on the table. “To heal?”

  “With quick heal,” Athan shrugged, “You can walk aboard in a day or two. You’ll be in an awful lot of pain, but you won’t want to take painkillers until you get aboard. The customs people will be curious if you’re drugged to the gills, it tends to set off all sorts of alarms.”

  I winced as I considered that. “One of us goes and we don’t have a lot of time to pick.”

  I looked at Ted, whose face had gone pasty. He looked like a lump of bread dough. I looked back at Athan, “Can we have a moment?”

  The doctor chuckled, “Of course. It’s a big decision, I understand.” He stepped out, leaving Ted, me, and our unwitting donor in the cold, antiseptic room.

  The door hadn’t even closed when Ted blurted, “I understand. You need to get home. I’m… I…” He trailed off, unable to finish.

  “No,” I shook my head, “I told you I’d get you home. You got into all this mess because you were helping my sister.” I swallowed and went on, “Besides. I don’t have a family to go back to, not anymore. You are taking it.”

  “What!?” Ted stared at me in shock. “But… you’re the one who’s done all this. You’re the one who is important! I’m nobody. I don’t matter…”

  “Shut up,” I snapped at him. “You do matter. Your parents are going to be ecstatic to see you alive. You’re going into the Academy when you get back, remember?”

  He nodded slowly, “Yeah, but I didn’t think we’d actually do it, I mean…” He shook his head. “And for that matter, I was spying on you for Wessek for months! I… I don’t deserve it.”

  “You’re going to take this implant and you’re going back to Century,” I couldn’t believe we were arguing about this. I looked over at the surgical tray, recognizing several of the instruments, including the tranquilizer injector that Athan had tagged me with last time I’d been here. “We’re not arguing about this anymore.”

  “You’re wrong,” Ted straightened. “We are going to argue about this. There’s enough money, I could survive here for a few weeks until you got back, got some help—”

  I moved over to the tray and looked down at the tools. While the room had a sort of horror sim feel, the tools were at least clean and sanitary. I didn’t look back at Ted as I interrupted him, “Athan said the Emperor blacklisted Century. That could be temporary… but I overheard them saying that things had gone badly for this Crown Prince there. It could be the start of an embargo, maybe even a blockade or something.” I shook my head, “This could be the last opportunity to get home for years.”

  “All the more reason you should go,” Ted snapped. “I’m not going to be selfish about this one thing, Will. You’re my friend. I’ve heard you talk about attending the Academy, it’s all you want. Me? I’m an accounting intern. In the scheme of things, what do I matter?”

  He walked over and put his hand on my shoulder, “I’m staying here, Will. Unless you’re going to—”

  I spun and jabbed him in the neck with the tranquilizer. Ted gave me a betrayed look as he sagged to his knees. “Unless I knock you out and make sure you get the implant, whether you want it or not, yeah.” I told him. “Tell the Admiral that I’m alright, and that I’m sorry I couldn’t make it back.”

  His eyes rolled up in his head and I caught him and dragged him over to the empty surgical table. A moment later, the door opened and Athan stepped back inside, the stoop-shouldered man quirking an eyebrow at me. “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen two boys argue so much about which one gets to be noble and self-sacrificing. I only thought that happened in bad entertainment vids.”

  “Whatever,” I told him. I reached inside my jacket and pulled out a thousand Marks, the agreed upon payment. “Implant him, get him to the spaceport.”

  “Of course,” Athan took the money. “Good thing you used that syringe. The one next to it would have killed him. You aren’t sticking around? Perhaps to watch?”

  I backed up, fighting the urge to throw up, “No, I think I won’t.”

  His hollow laughter seemed to follow me as I retreated.

  ***

  I moved through the streets, feeling like I stood out with the briefcase and my slightly nicer clothing. I was acutely aware that I had more money on me than any sane person would want carry around in the Barrens.

  I went to Kayn Street and then across and into the abandoned section of warehouses and factories where the civets lived. I didn’t go all the way to the civet encampment, but I found an access to the utility tunnels, went down below, and then walked through there for a while.

  I wasn’t really sure where I was going. I was trying not to think. I’d had the opportunity to go home. I’d given it to Ted and while I knew it had been the right decision, I still felt horrible. I was trapped here on Drakkus, for several weeks at least, possibly for months. Maybe Ted would get my message to the Admiral… but then what? I felt I’d been right about the risk of embargo or blockade. Century wasn’t particularly powerful. We had a whole lot of obsolete fighters and a bunch of even more obsolete corvettes. We had a handful of out of date destroyers and a single, elderly cruiser. That was the entirety of the Century Planetary Militia. If they’d had some kind of armed confrontation with Drakkus, who knew how much of that was intact?

  Drakkus had a powerful force, a huge economy, and pirate auxiliaries. They could put a lot of pressure on my homeworld. The odds of Century making any effort to retrieve someone like me was small, but I felt it was a bit bigger than if it had been just poor Ted. Even so, I didn’t expect any major effort. It wasn’t like they could sally a large force and land assault shuttles here to rescue me. I was going to just have to hunker down and survive.

  I found a mostly dry spot, up off the floor, where a grate let down enough light that I could see and took a seat, then curled up, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my head back as I considered my options. I had money, I could survive. I just needed to lay low… it could easily be a simple misunderstanding. In a few weeks, when Ted made it back, he could tell them everything he knew, then they might dispatch a ship, and…

  Yeah, sure, I told myself, dream on.

  I couldn’t rely on that. I had to plan for months or even years. For that matter, it already had been almost a year, back home, by my best guess. If not for Wessek and Vars, I’d be graduating my Plebe year, soon, about to return home for Christmas. My throat constricted and I felt tears fill my eyes. It wasn’t fair. I had hoped that seeing Wessek die would make me feel better. Instead, I just felt… lost.

  I thought about the Mantis woman I’d shot, Kinabalu. I thought about all of Wessek’s people and the Mantis Hunters and Black Cloaks who must have died in the explosion. I wondered if I should feel bad about that, but instead I just sort of felt empty. Any of them, all of them, would have killed me if they’d known I lived. I had seen Hunters drag children screaming into the sky, carrying them back to their spires for whatever horrid purposes they had. Wessek’s pirates had killed my family, destroyed my home. I couldn’t find it in me to feel bad about killing them with my bomb, or even about shooting the Mantis woman with Vars’ stolen pistol.

  I reached in my jacket and pulled that out. I wasn’t sure why I’d kept it and the scrap pistol that Francis had given me. Certainly, even possessing them was dangerous. The Red Badges pretty much let most crime go in the Barrens, but Jonna had made it clear that weapons, real weapons, would cause them to react with lethal force.

  Maybe it was just the fact that having a weapon gave me a little bit of power. I could defend myself. It
was a tiny thing, something I almost couldn’t believe, not after a year or more of being a victim of my situation.

  “What you doing?” A high pitch voice demanded.

  I started a bit and dropped the pistol. Looking around in the dim light, I couldn’t see where the voice had come from. But after a moment, I realized who it had to be. “Lokka?” I asked.

  “Who else?” The civet emerged from the dark tunnel. “You no shoot yourself. That would be bad.”

  “Yeah,” I snorted, “That wouldn’t be good.”

  He cocked his head, almost as if he were wondering if I were dumb. “Look,” I told him, “I wasn’t going to hurt myself, I was just looking at the pistol and thinking, okay?”

  “Thinking,” Lokka shook his head, “you not strong thinker.”

  “Thanks,” I growled.

  “You going home?” Lokka asked.

  “No.” My voice broke a bit as I answered. “It didn’t work. There…” I shook my head, not even sure if I could understand it myself. The explosion I’d rigged had got the Red Badges buzzing around, which had spooked Athan’s murderers, which had meant that they only had one body to supply an implant. “There was an issue. Ted is going home, I’m staying.”

  Lokka wrinkled his muzzle. His fox-like face was surprisingly expressive. “Ted should go. He too soft. You can stay.” He said that like a benediction, as if I should be proud to receive it.

  “Thanks,” I lay my head back against the concrete of the tunnel. “Anything else?”

  “Yeah.” Lokka came forward and pressed something into my hand. “Meant to tell you, datapad no good. Recovered data. No good videos, though. All boring.”

  I held up my hand, not sure what he meant, and my eyes focused on a small data chip. “Wait… you mean my parents’ datapad, the one that got wet?”

  “What else?” Lokka flicked his ears at me. “Going now. See you ‘round.” He flirted his tail at me and then sauntered off down the tunnel. I sat there, staring at the data chip, feeling stunned. All my parents’ research, all their hard work… and now I had it back. It was like getting a piece of my family back.

  That was a bit too much for me. I put my head down on my knees and I cried.

  ***

  Two days later, I was up on the abandoned spire, in my usual overlook spot. I’d sort of hoped to see Jonna, but she’d gone, or so Simon had told me. I doubted I’d ever see her again, just as a big part of me doubted I’d ever see Ted or Century ever again.

  I was here to see him off, though he probably wouldn’t know it. Athan had told me that his people had got Ted to the spaceport and that he’d walked through security on his own. Now I was waiting. I’d left him with enough money to buy passage. I had to hope that the ship would take off, that nothing would happen, that…

  My thoughts trailed off as I watched a column of fire rise into the sky, right on time. There he goes. It’s done. Right or wrong, the decision’s been made. I knew I’d made the right choice, but I still felt despair as I watched the last ship headed to Century lift off. I wasn’t going anywhere.

  I had the briefcase, still, with my share of the money. I patted it, oddly tempted to fling it off into the abyss below me. How might the people down there react if money rained from the sky?

  Looking down, I judged it wouldn’t reach them. There were too many ledges between here and there. It might go a hundred meters or more, but I was still much higher than that. I doubted I could throw it out far enough for it to reach the ground.

  At least I was safe. Wessek was dead. Word on the street was that House Mantis had put out a bounty on those of his people who’d survived the attack, that they thought Wessek and Vars had acted to try and regain favor with Crown Prince Abrasax. No one even suspected I was alive, much less involved.

  “Will Armstrong,” a threatening voice spoke from behind me, “I’m going to kill you.”

  ***

  Chapter 22: Old Friends Are With You Forever

  I spun, rising up into a crouch, my hand going to where I had the pistol in my jacket.

  My attacker was waiting for me, though. He caught my hand as it came out and he squeezed my wrist hard enough that my fingers went numb. The pistol clattered away, sliding over the edge.

  My eyes went wide as I recognized Vars. “Didn’t think I was still alive?” He laughed in my face. “Oh, you left me for dead, just like you left my father. I’m going to break you and leave you begging and crying you little-“

  I kicked at him, but he brought a leg up to block the strike, then he spun and flung me head first into the rooftop. I lay there, dazed, right up until he kicked me in the ribs hard enough to make me roll over. “Get up!” Vars snapped at me.

  I stumbled to my feet circling around him, trying to find a way out. But the platform wasn’t big enough. I didn’t have room to run, not without him catching me. “You ruined my life, Armstrong, you and your whole stupid family!” Vars roared. “You must think you’re so clever! How’d you do it, huh? How did you get word back about the invasion!?” He kept circling, forcing me to circle the other way.

  I stared at him, blankly, “What?”

  He’d started to advance on me again and he paused, confusion going across his face. “You… don’t know? You really don’t know?”

  “Don’t know what?” I demanded as I circled away from him. I was trying to get some space between us. It was clear that Vars had hand to hand training and while I had some basic knowledge, I didn’t consider myself skilled.

  Vars gave a braying laugh. “Oh, the look on your face, that almost makes it worth it. Your grandmother, the bitch,” He scowled, “she foiled the Crown Prince. Stopped his invasion of your homeworld cold.” He studied my face as he said that. “And you had no idea. Which means she found out some other way.” He laughed, “Which means you don’t know about your family.”

  I froze staring at him in shock, “What about my family?”

  “Somebody survived,” Vars grinned. “Maybe I’ll even tell you who, right before I end you.” He lunged at me and I edged backwards and to the side. But now my back was to the drop again and I had nowhere to go. Vars smiled to show that he saw that, too.

  My brain was whirring as I struggled to figure out what he meant. Someone was alive? He couldn’t just mean the Admiral. But I didn’t know who else might have survived. Wessek had as much as admitted to killing my parents. I’d seen Jiden crushed by sand. I was off balance, stunned… and Vars realized that and attacked.

  He came at me in a rush, driving a knee up into my stomach and all the air wooshed out of my lungs as I doubled over in pain. As I gasped for breath, he brought his fist into the side of my head and I fell, my world blacking out for a long moment as I slammed head first into the rooftop, my arms and legs limp.

  “You know, I figured you for dead, after your little stunt back at my dad’s headquarters,” Vars said. “Either dead in the explosion or burned up afterward. Fire went for almost a day.” I managed to get my eyes to focus, though I could barely see around the spots and stars that speckled my vision. He knelt next to the briefcase, still laying near where I’d sat on the edge. He opened it, then felt along the edge of the inside and pulled out a bit of wire. “Tracking beacon. My father put it in there, just in case those Mantis bastards tried to double-cross us, but it worked just fine for tracking you down.”

  Stupid… I should have checked for something like that or ditched the case.

  He closed the briefcase and then slid it over, out of the way. “I can’t believe the damage you did. House Mantis seized our ships. They put a bounty on my head so high…” He shook his head. “I’ve had a dozen people try to kill me today. Everything my father built, everything we had, is gone.”

  “You killed my mother,” I spat at him. “You killed my father. You killed my grandmother and my sister, my entire family!”

  Vars’s face turned ugly, “I’m going to hurt you, Armstrong. I’m going to hurt you until I get tired of it and then I’m going
to hurt you some more. Because your family destroyed my father.” He came over to me, pausing and squatting on the balls of his feet. He reached inside his jacket and tugged out his sealed letter. “But you didn’t destroy me. I’ve still got this. And long after you’re dead, I’ll—”

  I kicked him, awkwardly from my back. It wasn’t much of a blow, just a glancing hit, just enough to cause him to lose his balance. As he started to fall, I reached up and grabbed him.

  I rolled back towards the edge, pulling him with me. He gave a startled shout, his arms clinging to me as I tried to clutch onto something myself. For a panicked moment, my fingers found no purchase and I fell… and then they caught on the very lip of the edge. Just a tiny raised section of the rooftop, just enough to halt my fall. My legs and hips were still on the roof, but Vars had me by the shoulders and upper arms and he was dragging the rest of me over the edge.

  I tried to pull myself back, but Vars was a struggling weight and he clung to me, his face drawn in fear and hate. “No!” He screamed at me.

  “If you struggle, we’ll both fall,” I told him.

  “I’m not going to let you win!” Vars screamed in my face. With horror, I realized that he was pulling on me, trying to lever me off the edge, to kill us both.

  “I can save us both!” I shouted, trying to pull back to safety. Vars wasn’t listening, I could see that he’d snapped, that he didn’t care anymore about living or dying. All he cared about was destroying me. He pulled me closer, his teeth bared almost in my face, his hands clenched tight in the sleeves of my jacket.

  My new jacket. Like my new boots. Like the scrap pistol I had from Francis. I pulled my left hand back a little, not going for a hold, but going for my boot. I leaned back, pulling Vars up with me as I did… and my hand found the grip of the pistol. I brought it out, putting the barrel against Vars’ chest as I fired.

  A look of surprise went across his face and for a moment, his grip on my arms tightened. I fired again. His expression changed to shock and his fingers loosened… then he let me go. I fell back onto the rooftop, gasping for air and throwing the scrap pistol away. Above me, the ship carrying Ted to safety was still ascending. I felt like our fight had lasted for hours, but it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes at the most.