Ride the Tiger

by Lindsay McKenna

  After making the call, he ran back around the house. The faces of the Vietnamese farmers mirrored his own inner feelings. His heart pounding in his chest, Gib took in Dany’s pale, distraught features as he drew near. She was cradling Vinh in her arms, the peasants weeping openly around them as they crowded close to the crater in pandemonium. Putting the radio aside, Gib leaned over.

  “Let me take him,” he told her. “We’ve got to get him out from under the trees, Dany. The medevac’s on its way. They’ll need a clearing to land in.”

  Dany looked up, her eyes frought with anguish. “This is my fault!” she sobbed, “My fault!”

  “No way, honey. Now, come on, let me have the boy. You’ve done all you can for him.” Gib moved her gently to one side then picked up the now-unconscious Vinh.

  Dany staggered to her feet, numb with guilt. She stumbled along after Gib as he carried Vinh to the clearing on the northern side of the house. It was her fault Vinh had stepped on that mine. This was Binh Duc’s work! As she placed her hand across her mouth, trying to control her sobbing, Dany knew she had to meet the VC leader face-to-face. Was Duc declaring war on them? Oh, why had she allowed Gib to come back even once? Duc had known. Duc had been told!

  Her mind spun with tragedy over Vinh’s lost arm, and what his parents and Ma Ling would do once they found out about his injury. How would Dany ever break the news to them? There would be such grieving. Dany watched in a daze as Gib gently lowered Vinh to the lawn. In the distance, she could hear the whap, whap, whap of helicopter blades cutting thickly through the afternoon’s high humidity as it sped closer.

  Dany knelt near Vinh, the boy growing semiconscious again. He didn’t cry out, and his eyes were glazed over. He was going into deep shock from loss of blood, Dany realized. Gripping Vinh’s thinly clad shoulder, she leaned over, telling him to hang on, that help was on its way. She knew that with Gib’s intervention, Vinh had a real chance of being saved. As she looked up, she was startled by the look on Gib’s sweaty, strained features. His eyes were marred with pain, his mouth a slash against what he was feeling. He was no less affected and touched by Vinh’s tragic wound than she was.

  Kneeling there, Dany realized in some small part of her functioning mind, that Gib had told her the truth: He didn’t enjoy killing. It was a necessary part of his world, but not something he wanted to do. Even now, as he crouched down on one knee, his hand resting on Vinh’s other shoulder to steady and reassure the boy, Dany knew he was suffering.

  Serrating guilt jagged through Dany in those minutes before the green helicopter landed, a big red cross against a field of white painted on its broad nose. She’d allowed Gib back on Villard soil, and Duc had somehow found out. Forcing back her tears, Dany tried to muster a reassuring smile for Vinh’s sake. Now an innocent young boy had paid for her foolish travesty, her selfishness. If Vinh lived, he would be crippled for life. He’d never become the wonderful artist they all had dreamed he would. Oh, God, how was she going to live with herself?

  As the medevac landed, the air around it turned to buffeting turbulence. Everyone bowed their heads, holding onto their bamboo hats and bracing themselves as the wind kicked up by the helicopter blades became invisible fists, pummeling them without relief. Gib gently picked up Vinh and pressed him protectively against his chest. He crouched and bent his head, moving toward the helicopter. As the crewman hopped out to help load the boy onto a waiting stretcher in the cabin, Gib hesitated.

  When he’d transferred Vinh, Gib hurried from the helicopter to where Dany stood, her arms wrapped tightly against her body. Her face looked ravaged as he gripped her arms, worried that she might buckle beneath the strain of the crisis.

  “I’ve got to go,” he shouted above the roar of the machine. When she nodded that she understood, he added, “I’ll call you as soon as I know anything about Vinh. I’ll be in touch, Dany, I promise.” The urge to embrace her and kiss the anguished line of her mouth nearly unstrung Gib. But instead he squeezed her hand and quickly moved back beneath the copter’s whirling blades. They were finishing securing the boy to the stretcher. Time, Gib knew, was of the essence with a wound like this. He jogged and climbed aboard. Within seconds, the engines shrieked at a higher pitch, blades whirling faster and faster as the aircraft broke contact with the earth. The sliding door was slammed shut and locked.

  There was little Gib could do except stay out of the way as the corpsman worked furiously over the boy. Vinh was given an IV to help stabilize him, then covered with several blankets. As they roared skyward, the group below grew smaller and smaller. Gib’s attention centered suddenly on Dany. What did she mean this incident was her fault. What had she been babbling about?

  Worriedly, Gib crouched against the rear bulkhead of the helicopter as it made a banking turn toward Da Nang. It would be a swift ride to the nearest MASH unit inside the perimeter of the huge base. The boy would get the best medical care available. Gib ached inwardly, poignantly recalling the drawing Vinh had made for him. It was still rolled up in the yellow Citroën back at Dany’s plantation. Gib couldn’t rationalize what had happened to Vinh. He was an innocent child who’d been caught in the crossfire of a lousy war that had no well-defined territorial lines. And he’d lost his right hand and arm, the ones he drew his beautiful pictures with. Maybe it was just as well the youth had lost consciousness again, Gib thought grimly. Who was going to tell the boy he’d lost his arm?

  Sadness moved through Gib as he sat on the nylon seat, the helicopter shaking and shuddering around him with the engine’s deafening sound. Vinh had loved helicopters, but what a hell of a way to get a ride in one, Gib thought bitterly.

  His mind whirled with questions and no answers. Had his presence at Dany’s plantation caused this? If so, who the hell was responsible for it? Binh Duc? Grief flowed through Gib as he sat stoically in the vibrating aircraft. Dany thought she could keep her people and land safe despite the tensions swirling like a gathering storm around her. When was she going to see the reality of the situation? There was no such thing as neutrality in Vietnam, no matter how badly she wanted it. It hurt Gib to know how much Dany must agonize over this latest incident. Seven days ago, she’d lost her mother. Now Vinh, whom she loved fiercely, was badly injured.

  The medevac landed on a huge black asphalt square painted with a white circle. The MASH unit tents that comprised the emergency ward came alive with activity as soon as the crewman shoved open the door. Gib remained out of the way until the team of orderlies, nurse and doctor could take Vinh out of the aircraft and place him on a gurney and wheel him toward the medical unit.

  Gib patted each of the pilots on the back in way of thanks for their mercy run. He shook the hand of the navy corpsman on board and nodded the same. Climbing out of the helicopter, crouching low as the rotor wash buffeted him, Gib moved quickly off the asphalt and back onto the reddish-colored sand.

  Da Nang was a huge, sprawling base that sat on an island. The river that ran between the island and the land mass of Vietnam was spanned by one bridge, heavily guarded by both marines and U.S. Navy Seals. The MASH unit was on the northern edge of the base, and Gib went to the MASH administration tent to call Colonel Parsons and let him know what was going on. Helicopter squadron commanders couldn’t just disappear, but if possible, Gib wanted to remain near Vinh for as long as it took, so the boy wouldn’t come out of surgery without someone he knew being there for him.

  Gib entered the tent. The navy corpsmen on duty looked up from their respective desks and stared at him. It was then that he looked down at his shirt and realized it was smeared with Vinh’s blood. Gib went to the nearest phone. When he’d squared things with Parsons for the moment, he dialed Dany’s number. The phone rang and rang before it was finally picked up.

  “H-hello?”

  “Dany? It’s Gib. Listen, Vinh is in good hands here at the base. He just went into surgery and I’m going to hang around until he comes out.”

  “Then he’s still alive?”

&
nbsp; Gib’s heart wrenched in his chest at Dany’s voice, raw with unshed tears. “Yes, honey, he’s alive. The corpsman stablized him on the way in. He’s going to make it, I’m sure.”

  “Ohh…thank God….”

  “Does Ma Ling know yet? Or Vinh’s parents?”

  “Vinh’s parents have been told. I’m waiting for Ma Ling. She should be home any moment now. When can we see Vinh? Or hear about his condition?”

  “I just talked to the head nurse, and she said that since Vinh is a civilian, she’ll see that his parents and relatives get permission to come on board and see him as soon as he’s out of danger. That will be at least two or three days. I wish it could be sooner, but you’re dealing with the military and we’re in a wartime situation.”

  “I understand. Then you’ll be there for Vinh?”

  Gib closed his eyes. “Yeah, I’ll be here. Maybe you could drive that Citroën back to Marble Mountain in the next week sometime, and I can get it back to my friend?”

  “Of course.”

  “Good. I’ll call you just as soon as Vinh’s out of surgery and anesthesia. It might be a while,” he warned.

  “Thank you, Gib. I—I don’t know what I’d have done if you weren’t here when it happened. You didn’t have to call the medevac for help, I know that.”

  Gib smiled wearily and leaned against the gray metal desk. “I’d do anything in the world for you. Buck up, Vinh is going to make it. How are you doing?” Gib wished with all his heart that he could be there to hold Dany. This was a second huge shock for her. Her emotions had to be in tatters.

  “I’m fine…fine. Gib, I have to go. Vinh’s mother is distraught. She needs support right now.”

  “I understand,” Gib said. He began to truly comprehend the commitment and responsibility Dany had to her extended family. Silently, he commended her for her loyalty and love. “Listen, I’ll call you as soon as I know anything.”

  Sniffing, Dany whispered, “Thank you.”

  Gib slowly replaced the receiver. The adrenaline rush was ebbing, leaving him shaky in its wake. The incident had triggered the same reaction in him as when he was in the cockpit flying a dangerous mission. He left the tent and headed back to the MASH unit to wait. Sooner or later, he’d return to Marble Mountain to face squadron problems and responsibilities. Rubbing his face, Gib took a ragged breath. He needed Dany just as much as she needed him right now. Yet there was a chasm between them. She saw him as a transient GI, incapable of loyalty or responsibility toward her. And deep in his heart, he knew Dany would never leave Vietnam or her land, that she was tied to it by her bitter past. Only the land had remained loyal to Dany.

  With a muffled curse, Gib continued to walk slowly toward the tents and helicopter landing pad. Life without war was tough enough, but with the wartime situation thrown in on top of everything else, Gib felt as if he were drowning in complexities he had no idea how to face. Maybe getting back to his squadron would help dissolve some of his present feeling of helplessness.

  *

  Gib was waiting at the MASH unit two hours later when his sister, Tess, walked in. He lifted his head, feeling some of the heaviness he carried on his shoulders dissolve at the sight of her. The baby of the family, she was tall with red hair and a generous sprinkling of freckles across her nose and cheeks.

  “Hi,” Tess greeted him worriedly. Her gray gaze immediately fell to her brother’s shirt and the blood on it. “I just heard….”

  Gib rose and gave her a lame smile. “How?”

  “I called over to your squadron and they told me you were here on a medevac emergency.” Tess approached and gripped his hand momentarily, her eyes shadowed with concern. “Are you okay? You look like hell.”

  He smiled tiredly. “I feel like hell. Come on, have a seat and I’ll fill you in. Are you in from your villages for the night?” Ordinarily Tess had to be dragged from one of the three villages where she worked as a U.S. AID advisor. She hated having to stay at the military base, which was supposed to be mandatory. She would rather sleep in one of the village huts with the people she had grown to love during her past fourteen months in Vietnam.

  Tess smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She took a metal chair and sat next to him. “Tell me what’s going on. Captain Kincaid said it had to do with a civilian casualty at the Villard plantation.”

  Gib hung his head for a moment, then looked up at his sister. Over the next fifteen minutes, he filled Tess in on the details.

  “That’s awful, Gib. You really like Vinh, don’t you?”

  He snorted and stretched out his legs in front of him. Staring darkly at his loafers, he muttered, “Who wouldn’t?” He slanted a glance over at Tess. “Until very recently, war was war, and I didn’t have contact with the civilians like you do.”

  “But that’s changed,” Tess observed, her voice soft with his pain.

  “Yeah, damn it, I guess it has. I mean, the boy drew this picture for me, Tess. I’ll show it to you. He’s talented…I mean, was.”

  “Now you begin to understand some of what I go through every day out in the three villages I’m charged with taking care of.”

  Gib shook his head and gripped Tess’s work-worn hand. “I don’t know how you do it, Tess. The pain I’m feeling for Vinh hurts so damn much. I don’t think I could take what you see on a daily basis. I really don’t.”

  She smiled gently. “Men are very brittle emotionally,” she teased him. “I’ve always said women were the stronger of the two genders, and now I know I’m right.”

  Gib looked at his sister strangely. “You see things like this all the time. Doesn’t it get to you?”

  “Sure it does.”

  “How do you deal with it?”

  Her smile was wry. “I cry a lot.” And then her smile disappeared. “Have you cried yet? For Vinh? For yourself and Dany?”

  Grimly, he shook his head. “I haven’t cried since I got here.”

  “That’s a long time,” Tess whispered, giving him a worried look. “This is your second tour, Gib.”

  “It hurts to feel, Tess. Don’t go getting on my case right now about it, okay? I feel like I’m going to explode inside, and I don’t want you in my sights if I do.”

  She released his hand and stood up. “You know, every time you mention Dany Villard’s name, your voice grows soft. Is she special to you?”

  Gib shrugged. “It’s one-way, if she is,” he growled.

  Placing her hands in the pockets of her one-piece tan uniform, Tess watched him for a moment without speaking. Finally, she asked, “Dany doesn’t like you?”

  Again, Gib shrugged. “She sees me as nothing more than a transient GI, someone who will walk out of her world and abandon her after my tour’s up.”

  “That doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you.”

  Gib was always amazed at Tess’s ability to clarify muddy situations. Unwillingly, he was realizing the depth of his emotional involvement with Dany—although he’d never even kissed her yet. Clearing his throat, he rasped, “Actually, I think she does. Every time we get together, it’s like putting oil on fire. I see this look in her eyes, this longing. Sometimes I hear it in her voice….” He shut his eyes and rubbed them wearily. A sweet, hot memory of their near-kiss at her plantation sheared through him, momentarily erasing his grief and worry for Vinh. “There’s something there,” he said flatly, and removed his hands from his eyes. “But it’s going nowhere.”

  “Sure it will.”

  “You’re such an optimist.”

  With a laugh, Tess said, “Usually, you are, too. I can see Dany really means something to you, Gib. Just be patient with her. I’ve heard a lot of good things about her from the villages that border on her plantation. The people like her. She’s got an unblemished reputation for being fair and generous.”

  Generous was the right word, Gib decided with agony. “She helps the poor, and she treats her people like family.”

  “I hope to meet her someday soon. Now that you have this o
n-again, off-again relationship with her, I’m sure I will.”

  “I think you two would like each other. You sure share one thing in common: farming and the land.”

  “As if you don’t! You’re a rancher at heart, Gib Ramsey. Owning a pair of wings doesn’t take the Texas sand out of your flight boots.”

  Her lilting laughter lifted his depressed spirit. “Dany says the same thing. She thinks I ought to hang up my wings and put on my cowboy boots again.”

  Sobering, Tess shrugged. “With the way the situation is escalating here, that’s not a bad idea.” She sat back down. “I’m going to hang around with you until you hear about Vinh. Besides, it will give us time to catch up. I’ve hardly seen you in the last three weeks.”

  Grateful for Tess’s presence, Gib felt some of the pain in his heart ease. Dusk was settling over the area taking the edge off the humidity, but not by much. Gib found himself wanting to know Vinh’s condition for more than one reason. He ached to hear Dany’s voice. Sooner or later, he’d be back at Marble Mountain making that call to her. It couldn’t come too soon, he decided. He needed to hear her voice.

  *

  It was 2000, and darkness was complete when Gib climbed out of the jeep that he’d hitched a ride in from Da Nang. Thanking the driver, he headed directly for his tent, which doubled as a second office for him when he wasn’t at squadron headquarters. Opening the door, he left it ajar to allow the stuffiness to abate as he crossed to his small desk and sat down.

  Quiet descended within the tent. In the distance, he could hear the whine of helicopters winding up and, very faintly, the rumble of jets taking off from Da Nang. With a sigh, Gib sat back and stared at the green canvas wall opposite. His gaze moved to the black telephone on his desk. Now that he knew Vinh’s condition, he could call Dany. She hadn’t left his mind or heart throughout the long vigil. How was she faring? Once again, she had to be the strong one to support Vinh’s relatives through this latest ordeal. Damn it, she needed some support! Angry because he had to be at the base and not where he wanted to be—with her—he picked up the receiver. Just the husky sweetness of her voice would take away the terrible emotions bubbling within him, he thought. Just her voice.