Escaping Heartbreak

by Regina Bartley

“Dane will be coming over tomorrow night. He said something about going out. I’m sure he’ll call you.”

  “I’d rather you did.”

  “We’ll see.” She opened her truck door. “Bye Travis.”

  I waved as she pulled out of the driveway. This night was perfect. Or at least I thought it was. Until my cell phone rang. The unknown number flashed on the screen. I knew who it was. The stupid bitch picked the perfect moment in my life to try and call. I didn’t answer. I had nothing to say to her.

  She’d been calling for weeks, and I didn’t want to talk to her. I hadn’t told Waylon either because I knew that he’d be angry. I knew what she wanted. To see him, or to ask for money. At least that was her usual messages. I tried to avoid her, but there were times when I listened to her voicemails and thought maybe she’d changed. It was always that sad little boy inside me that wished I was still young. Young enough to have my mom. Or at least the mom she used to be. But that little voice made me feel guilty every time I thought about the way she was with Waylon.

  It was barely two minutes before it rang again. What the hell did she want?

  “What,” I yelled into the phone.

  “Son,” Her voice was slurred.

  “Don’t call me that.”

  “Don’t say that.” She said.

  “What do you want?” I spat.

  “I want to see Waylon.”

  “Not gonna happen,” my voice was calm, even though I wanted to scream.

  “You can’t keep him away from me. He’s my son.”

  “You left us, remember? Don’t threaten me. People know what you did. Are you drunk now?” She was really pissing me off. I didn’t know who she thought she was. She obviously wanted something.

  “No,” She yelled. “I just want to see Waylon. You can’t stop me.” As bad as I wanted to deny it, she was right, but this was not good for Waylon. He was so angry with her, but there was a small part of him that missed her. I thought.

  “Why are you calling now? After all of this time.”

  “I miss you both.”

  “I don’t believe you for one minute. And technically I could keep him from you, if anyone found out what you really did. All they know is you were a crazy drunk. Wouldn’t they love to know the real truth?” I threatened. “Lucky for you, I believe people can change.” Or maybe I just hoped she had. I desperately wanted to see the woman that she used to be. The good person and loving mother she was before my dad died. The woman that would cook supper and let us sneak food into our rooms when dad wasn’t looking. That was the woman that I longed to see. I sighed and rubbed the lines on my forehead. “One time. That’s all you get. If you fuck this up, I’ll never let you see him again. Trust me, I can make that happen if you screw up. That means don’t show up drunk and don’t make one single promise to him.” Since she’d been gone, she only called once. I promised I wouldn’t do this to Waylon, but I had to see for myself if she had improved. For my own selfish reasons.

  “Okay.”

  “If he doesn’t want to see you, then there is nothing I can do about that.”

  “He’ll want to.” She said confidently.

  I knew she was right. It was his mother. Of course, he wanted to see her. “In two weeks, on Saturday. Be here at noon.” I didn’t wait for her to answer. I hung up. Way to screw up a perfectly good night. Screwing up my life was what she did best.

  SEVENTEEN

  Sawyer

  My plan was to sleep in the next morning, but that didn’t happen. I had another nightmare. I woke wishing I was wrapped in Travis’s arms and not alone. It was another bad one about Mom and Dad. I knew that Travis was right and I needed to find some closure, I just didn’t know how. A part of me believed that love had a lot to do with it, but it was a very small part. I didn’t want to let my heart heal just so it could be broken again. It was too hard.

  Knowing that Travis was just a phone call away, I decided to go into my parents’ bedroom. I knew that there were still things hidden in there and I was hoping that maybe I could find my closure somewhere inside those four walls. I can do this. I thought before I opened the door.

  The room was brightly lit, when I opened the door. The sun was shining through the window and I could see the dust lingering in the light. It smelled like dirt, but there was a very faint hint of musk. It was a smell that I remembered. After my parents had died, I had a hard time seeing their belongings without freaking. Their personal things like their clothes, or the stuff in the bathroom would always freak me out. I felt like that if I did things the way I was doing them before they died then something bad might happen again. That someone else might die, even me. I knew that sounded crazy, but I didn’t even want to touch their things, because I felt so responsible. Slowly I had been coming around. I actually trashed a pair of my dad’s old shoes. I touched them and moved them to the trashcan, and nothing bad happened. Then the other day when I jumped in the lake with Travis, I felt so free. I felt like this burden I’d been carrying around could only be fixed if I started living again. I was so appreciative of what he had given me back. It might not seem like much to anyone else, or even him, but to me it was a big deal. The steps I needed to take to heal.

  I opened the closet door, careful not to touch too many things. It’d been so long since I’d stepped foot in this room. The first thing that I spotted was my mother’s old Temple University sweatshirt. I loved that thing. When I was younger, I used to wear it as a dress around the house. As I got older, I always thought that I’d go to Temple just like her, until my coach mentioned the Olympics. All of my thoughts of college went out the window after that. Taking a deep breath, I reached out my hand and slowly ran my fingertips down the sleeve. The soft cotton moved under my touch. These little things were the hardest for me to do. I am strong. I can do this. I slid the sweatshirt down the hanger and pulled it hard and fast to my chest. I quickly left the room, closing the door behind me. I leaned my back against the closed door. The shirt was still tight against my chest. I did it. I conquered another fear.

  “Shit,” I pulled out my phone to check the time. I had tutoring today. I grabbed my bag and my keys and headed out with the sweatshirt still in my hand. Once I had it, I didn’t want to let it go.

  I sent a quick text to Travis.

  Me: What is Waylon’s favorite snack to eat?

  Travis: Why? Lol

  Me: My lips are sealed.

  Travis: More secrets… You know that only brings trouble and flying meatballs.

  Me: Shut up and tell me.

  Travis: Someone is moody. Is it that time of the month?

  Me: What? No! Just tell me damn it.

  Travis: I wish I could see you right now. You’re so cute when you’re mad.

  Me: TELL ME NOW!

  I was literally yelling, and laughing all at the same time. He was a big butt-head.

  Travis: Okay, okay. He likes beef jerky, Reese cups, and any kind of sour candy.

  Me: Thanks.

  Travis: You’re really not gonna tell me are you?

  Me: Nope, talk to you later.

  Travis: Are you gonna call me?

  Me: Hmmm. Wouldn’t you like to know? Bye Travis.

  Travis: Bye gorgeous.

  Me: **rolling eyes**

  Travis: LOL

  Tori was already in the library when I rushed in. I thought I was late, but I still had two minutes to spare. “Hey,” she said. I set my bags down and pulled out one of those giant sticks of beef jerky. “Hungry Sawyer?” She asked.

  “It’s today’s bribe. I plan on getting Waylon’s grades where they belong. Wish me luck.”

  “Luck. You’re unbelievable.”

  “What can I say? The kid has seriously left a mark on my heart.”

  “That’s sweet. Maybe you’re just what he needs.” She said sincerely.

  Or maybe he’s just what I need. I thought to myself. It was like a light bulb flashing in my brain. He’d lost both of his parents too. His mom’s not dea
d, but she might as well be. He was young and he was hurting. I know how he felt. Why hadn’t I thought of this before? Maybe that’s why we have such a connection, and understanding.

  The kids barreling through the door snapped me back into reality. Just like before Waylon came through the door last and took the seat farthest from the front. Tori made her usual announcements to the group, and they pulled out their work to begin. I tucked the end of the beef jerky stick into my back pocket and started making my rounds.

  Finally, I made it to Waylon. I found him sitting there doing nothing.

  “Hey Genius,” I swatted at the hair on the top of his head. “You ready to get to work?”

  “Sure, but where’s my gum?” He held out his hand.

  “I got it, but how about a new bet?” I suggested.

  “I’m listening.” His chin was resting on the palm of his hand. I snickered. He looked just like Travis, right down to the blonde hair. Travis’s hair was brown now, but I can recall when it was bleach blonde from roots to tips, just the same.

  I pulled the jerky from my back pocket, and his eyes lit up. Before he could get his grabby paws on it, I yanked it back. “Listen,” my voice was stern. His eyes were still focused on the prize. “Are you listening?”

  “Yes,” he growled.

  “Good,” I took a seat next to him. “Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about these grades of yours. I know by now that you don’t need a tutor in math. You are better than I am. Is there a subject that you actually do struggle with?”

  “Not really.”

  “Boy, you are just as cocky as your brother. You act just like him.” I confessed.

  “Yeah, so.” He responded with his teenage attitude.

  “If you’re so smart then why are you failing? Don’t tell me you don’t know either. There is a reason.”

  “Why are you so interested?” He asked.

  This conversation was headed south quickly. My intentions weren’t to talk serious stuff, but there seemed to be no avoiding it. I tucked my hands in between my legs and the seat. “Because I know what it was like to feel like you have no one. Five years ago, both of my parents died in a car accident.” The words just slipped out, like I had no control. His head snapped up in my direction. “So, I know how you feel.”

  “Then you know that there is no possible way I can go to college. As soon as I turn sixteen, I have to get a job. I have to.” He explained.

  “You can go to college, Waylon.” I said and I was serious.

  “Not gonna happen.” He shook his head.

  “Do you want to go to college?” I asked. Turning to face him.

  “I used to think I did.” He looked down at his hands, then back up at me. There was a sadness in his light blue eyes.

  “You do. I know you do. So let’s get you a scholarship. You are starting high school next year, and all you have to do is keep up your academics. With the right grades, you can get into any school you want.”

  His eyes brightened up a bit. I couldn’t understand why no one had talked to him about any of this. “You really think I can?” He asked.

  “I know you can. And just because you’re working hard in school, it doesn’t mean that you can’t work a real job too. A lot of people do it.” I suggested, and he nodded. I knew that he understood. “If you let me help you, we can get those grades where they need to be. I can help you here, but if you want I will tutor you at home the rest of the weekdays.”

  “I don’t want Travis to work two jobs anymore. I barely get to see him.”

  “I know.” I tussled his hair. “So do we have a deal? It won’t be easy. Plus you’ll have to see me all the time.” I scrunched up my nose.

  “Can I have the jerky?” He asked pointing at the table.

  “Sure,” I handed it to him.

  “Deal.” He held out a fist, a total boyish thing to do.

  I bumped it, and he smiled. “Good, now start on your homework.” I stood to walk away. I heard him growling as I left. This was going to be a blast. I thought as I rolled my eyes.

  EIGHTEEN

  Travis

  When I arrived at the gym, the place was packed. Waylon went to stay at Andy’s, and about an hour into my shift he texted to tell me he was spending the night. I told him all the time that he was bound to wear out his welcome, but it wasn’t true. Andy’s parents didn’t mind at all. Thank goodness. I had been working two nights a week at Gordon’s Gym, sometimes three nights, and they let him stay there. No questions asked.

  I hadn’t heard anything from Sawyer since earlier that day. I hoped she’d call before it was time to go to work, but it didn’t happen. The only thing I had to do at the gym was clean the weights, so the night should pass by fairly quickly. Or so I’d hoped.

  “Hey Travis,” I recognized the voice of my boss’s daughter behind me.

  “Hey Brenna,” I gave her a nod. She was a sweet girl about my age. She worked here sometimes, when she came home from school. I’d known her for many years. We were practically brother and sister. The guys at the auto store swear that the two of us have messed around. It’s only because we have such a weird relationship. If they’d spend more than ten minutes with us, they’d know just how screwed up that sounds. Besides she’s not my type, and even if she were, she’s taken. Of course, that was last month. She seemed to change boyfriends as often as she changed her pants. I could barely keep up.

  “What are you doing tonight?” She asked, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder.

  “I don’t know yet? Why?” I continued cleaning.

  “I want to go out. I have to go back to school tomorrow, and I don’t want to spend my only night in town at home with the folks.” She scrunched her nose.

  “Waylon is at a friend’s house, so I should be able to do something. I was waiting on a friend of mine to call.” I said, as I glanced up at the clock.

  “No way,” her voice screeched. Her hand was against her chest. “Travis Lawson has friends. It’s a damn miracle.”

  “Ha, ha.” I threw my dirty rag at her head.

  She jumped back. “Ew,” she threw it back at me. I just laughed.

  “Go away and let me get back to work.”

  “Fine, but let me know if you’re going out.” She stomped off.

  I was just finishing up when my phone rang, the song Talk Dirty to Me started playing, and everyone in the room looked in my direction. My smile was wide. Hell yeah, it was my girl. Be jealous people.

  “Hey beautiful,” I said.

  “Hey to you too, Sexy,” Dane said back. The little fucker. Why the hell was he calling from Sawyer’s phone? “You’re on speaker, Man,” Dane yelled.

  Just great. “So there is a beautiful girl there somewhere right?”

  “Dude, quit calling my sister beautiful. It’s freaking weird.” Dane growled. I just laughed.

  “Hey Travis,” Sawyer’s sweet voice finally spoke.

  “There’s the beautiful girl I was talking about.”

  “Jesus, would you stop it. I can’t listen to this shit.” He was remarkably grumpy today, but what was new. “We were just calling to tell you that we’re going to the bar tonight.”

  “You’re going to Shots?” I probed. The place was a dump. The music was loud and the bar was small. The whole time you’re in the place, you are elbow to asshole.

  “That’s the plan.” Sawyer yelled loudly over Dane’s whooping voice. He was obnoxious.

  “You know that’s where all the idiots hang out right?” I questioned. And by idiots I meant Vince and his Motley Crue.

  “There is music and alcohol, and hopefully hot babes. That’s all I care about.” Dane barked. He sounded like he was half drunk already. Surprise, surprise.

  “Okay, when I get off work and take a shower, I’ll meet you guys there.” I started to speak again, but Dane howled something and hung up the phone. I would not be babysitting his drunk ass. I hoped he knew that.

  I quickly gathered my thing
s. My work had been half ass, but they wouldn’t notice. I was in a hurry. “Hey Brenna,” I hollered into the back room. “I’m leaving.”

  She ran out of the back room. “What about tonight? Are you doing anything?”

  “Yeah, Shots. You want to go?” I checked my phone for the time. There was plenty of time for me to take a shower before meeting them.

  “It wouldn’t be my first choice, but whatever. I’ll meet ya’ there.”

  “All right.” I waved as I was walked out the door. “See you later.”

  NINETEEN

  Sawyer

  “You look fine, come on. What are you worried about anyway? It’s just Shots.” Dane was obviously suspicious. He had good reason. Good thing he hadn’t pressed for more information. I wasn’t ready for the whole “I like your friend” talk.

  I spent an hour longer than I normally would have getting ready. For once I actually gave a damn. I thought about every single item of clothing I put on, wondering what he’d think when he saw me in it. Today when Dane got here we had a long talk, and I realized how much of a difference Travis had already made and it had only been a few days. I told Dane about how I went swimming, of course, I left out the part about Travis being here. I also told him about how I ventured into Mom and Dad’s room. I had actually put the sweatshirt on, and wore it, up until I got in the shower. Dane couldn’t believe it. He thought this place had been the best thing for me, but it had essentially been Travis that made things easier. He just gave me the extra push that I’d needed. Tonight I wanted to tell Travis that if he would go slowly, that I’d be willing to try to take things to the next level with him. The thought of saying those words made me nervous as hell. But he had proven to me that not every situation I put myself in would fail.

  I stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself once again. This outfit was better than the last one. I decided to wear something cute, but comfortable. I chose my stretchy skinny jeans with a loose fitting black top that hung loosely off of one shoulder, and my black sparkly thong sandals. I straightened my hair so that it nearly touched my waist, and put on just a little makeup. Not too much. That would have to do. I had already changed three times and I wasn’t changing anymore. Especially with Dane carrying on like a big baby. He started drinking two hours ago, which meant I would be nursing his hangover before the night was over.