V 10 - Death Tide
Page 24
The honors that were rightfully hers . . .
Diana sighed. It would be a long time before she would be taking a vacation back home, it seemed. Lydia was about as trustworthy as a crivit in season, always positioning herself, waiting for the moment when she could strike. And then there was the damned resistance, which seemed capable of foiling her at every turn.
She frowned a little, and her mirror reflected an unaccustomed emotion for her—doubt. Alone in the solitude of her quarters, Diana considered the notion that maybe the humans weren’t as mindless as she had always assumed. Perhaps they even had the capacity for the higher functions marking a truly intelligent mind, such as—
Alarmed, she cut that thought off. Otherwise she was straying perilously close to the path that those wretched followers of Zon believed, that all life, even human, should be preserved, not destroyed. The humans were food, their world the only viable source of nourishment for her people, and she had to keep thinking of them that way.
Especially that hateful Mike Donovan. She looked forward to the day when she would snack on his fingers one by one— and he would remain alive just long enough to watch.
Smiling at the image, Diana left her quarters, turning off the light, and her mirror glimmered into darkness.
“Who is it?”
It wasn’t Juliet Parrish’s voice behind her apartment door, and Mike Donovan frowned as he realized Robin was there. “It’s Jabba the Hutt, who eats Visitors and people who don’t answer the phone all day.”
He had deliberately paraphrased one of their passwords from the old days, back when the resistance had been brand-new and his and Julie’s feelings for each other had seemed fresh and forever. More than anything, he needed to see her alone, be with her tonight. He needed to know whether she still cared. His call to Denise Dal trey was overdue by now, and he couldn’t escape the growing conviction that if Julie and he were through, getting away to New York might be the only answer. He wouldn’t be able to stand seeing her, knowing she didn’t care.
Robin opened the door. “Hi, Mike. She’s in the bedroom.”
“1s. she okay?” Mike asked, seeing Elizabeth behind her mother in the living room.
“Yes,” Robin answered, giving him a guarded look. “She’ll be all right. The doctor told her to rest for a couple of days.”
Julie was propped up on a pillow, sipping something from a mug. Mike stood in the doorway and gave Robin a worried glance as he saw how pale Julie was. She tried to smile, but even that seemed to take too much effort. “How’s everyone doing?” he asked, dredging up a smile, although his eyes remained on Julie.
“Fine, Mike.” Robin quickly crossed the living room to touch Elizabeth’s shoulder. “We were just on our way out.”
“No, we weren’t. Moth—” Elizabeth’s honest reply was stifled by an unsubtle finger to her mother’s lips and Robin’s quick head shake.
“I’ll call you later, Julie, and see if you need anything,” Robin said around the door, then it closed behind them.
Slowly, Mike walked into Julie’s bedroom, decorated in shades of pale aqua and ivory, and sat down hesitantly on the chair by the bed. “Hi, honey. Are you all right?”
She nodded, not looking at him. Even her lips were pale. “I’m okay. Joe told me to stay home and rest for a few days, drink a lot of liquids. Get my strength back.”
He scanned her face. “You’re so pale. Were you wounded last night? I didn’t notice—” He broke off, feeling like a heel.
“Just a few cuts on my leg,” she said. “Really nothing. Don’t worry about it, Mike. Nobody could have expected you to notice anything last night.” She reached over to touch his hand. “I know how you must be feeling. I’m so sorry about Margie.”
“I know I hurt you,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about how it must have looked to you these past couple of weeks, and—” He leaned his forehead in his hands tiredly. “And I’m sorry, too. I was glad to see Margie, sure, and I won’t pretend it didn’t hurt like hell to lose her. But I’m here, walking around with some semblance of normalcy. If it had been you, Julie, I—” He swallowed. “I don’t think I could make it.” “Mike . . .” He looked over to see that her eyes were brimming. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just tell me what you’re feeling. Whether it’s . . . over.” “Over?” She sounded so startled that he glanced back up. “What’s over? You don’t mean—”
“You and Nathan? That’s exactly what I’m asking. Is it over between us?”
Julie began an incredulous laugh, then stopped, her hands going to her stomach. “Ouch. Shouldn’t have done that. Mike, are you crazy? I don’t give a hell about that self-centered tycoon. Diana is the only person who deserves him. How can you credit me with such lousy taste?”
“You don’t care about him?” He was startled. “Then why have you been so withdrawn? You’ve barely spoken to me, and you looked exhausted all the—”
He stopped suddenly, facts and observations clicking into place like the tumblers on a safe, unlocking the truth. “Pregnant?” His eyes searched her face. “Julie, are you?” He took a deep breath, looking at her hands as they rested on her abdomen, remembered her little cry of pain. “A miscarriage?” he asked hesitantly.
She nodded, biting her lip. “I think so. I began bleeding early this morning. By the time I got to the clinic, all Joe could do was a D&C. He’ll know for sure in a day or so, after he gets the tests.”
Mike felt a profound sense of loss, remembering Sean as an infant, smiling up at him. “Julie, why didn’t you tell me? God, I’m sorry.” Memory struck him. “Was it when I jumped on you when the warehouse went up? Is that what—?”
She was already shaking her head. “No, Mike. You saved my life, remember? I’d been sick for a couple of weeks. I think it was something that would have happened no matter what. Probably because there was something wrong—” Her voice broke.
Donovan moved to hold her, gathering her slight frame into his arms as gently as he could. They stayed that way for a long time.
Finally Julie moved, looking up at him, seeing the pain in his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. There wasn’t time. Besides, I wasn’t sure. At first I really thought it might have been the flu or a latent allergy to the red dust.”
He nodded, his green eyes intent on hers. “You know, if things weren’t so screwed up, there’d be nothing that I’d like better than you, me, and a couple of kids.”
She nodded, her head moving against his shoulder. “I know. And it’s funny, even though I was relieved, I felt such grief when I knew I was losing it.”
“Are you in a lot of pain?”
“Some,” she admitted. “Joe gave me something. But I’m supposed to take it pretty easy, at least until Wednesday. ” He kissed her forehead, smoothing back her hair. “Can I stay? I’d like to be with you.”
“All right,” she answered after a moment. “Just don’t answer the phone, in case Nathan calls with the last of the test results on the new red dust.”
“Has it been worth all the hassles it ended up causing?” She shook her head. “Even without the final tests, I’m afraid it’s pretty conclusive. The variant should protect this part of the ocean, but it refuses to transfer to land-based vegetation. So we’re back to square one in finding a solution for driving the Visitors off frost-free land areas.”
Donovan was silent as he digested this piece of information. Finally he said, “What do you suppose Diana will do now?”
“Get the water from someplace else, I suppose.” Julie wondered if she sounded as tired and discouraged as she felt. “Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be smarter just to give up. There doesn’t seem to be any future worth living for. For us or anyone else.”
Mike sighed. “I’d been doing a lot of thinking along those lines lately, too. But when I went over it all again this morning, I came out of it with the conviction that there will be a future, Julie. After all, we’re part of a generation bom from parents who sp
ent nearly a decade wondering if the end of the world had come—who had a hard time hoping. They survived, they had us, and we have to hope there’s hope for other generations.”
Julie laced her fingers into his. “Other generations of other people’s children at least. Maybe someday for our children as well. We’ve still got time.”
“Yeah,” he said. “We do. I love you, Julie.”
“I love you, too.”
They sat quietly looking at each other, the whisper of the air conditioning the only sound in the room. Finally Mike stirred. “Hey, it’s time for dinner,” he said. “I better fix you something.”
“Just some soup will be fine,” she said as he stood up. “What time is it?”
“Five,” he said absently, then his gaze sharpened on his watch. “Hey, the telephone rates go down at five.”
“Yeah, so?”
“So do you mind if I use your phone for a long-distance call?”
“No, go ahead.” Julie watched him as he headed for the door. “You got a girlfriend, Donovan?”
He stopped halfway out of the room to grin at her. “Yeah. But I swear that as of tonight, I’m breaking it off. What time is it in New York?”
Julie smiled. “Eight. I’ll even pay for the call.”