Skulduggery Pleasant: Mortal Cole

by Derek Landy

  Was it Caelan? Was she feeling guilty about the kiss? Was there something more, something she hadn’t told Tanith? Was she with him now, despite the promises she’d made? Tanith knew full well how things could get confusing at that age. She had been a teenager once, and she knew that, despite the apparent contradiction, a person’s teenage years lasted well into their fifties. It had only been at age sixty that she’d managed to gain some control over herself, after all.

  These days she was a fine young woman of eighty-three, and even though she was still astonishingly immature for her age, the allure of bad boys had faded somewhat. They were still all around her of course – in her line of work, she had her pick of them. But bad boys would always disappoint. It was inevitable. Whereas nice guys tended to surprise you.

  The only parts of her that weren’t numb with cold were her feet, because she was wearing boots Ghastly had made for her. He hadn’t needed any special occasion to do it either. He’d just presented them to her one day, mumbled something about the importance of circulation, and wandered into the backroom of his shop. She grinned at the memory.

  But as for Valkyrie… Tanith was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. She might not have been with the vampire last night. It may have been family business – it was Christmas time, after all. Or Fletcher. Maybe they’d had a date.

  Tanith frowned. Did people still go on dates any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she’d been on. The last proper date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain – so it had probably been a date. If it wasn’t, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not all. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.

  Tanith needed a date. She needed a lot of things, but above all she needed a date.

  It didn’t help to be reminded of that fact every time she saw Valkyrie and Fletcher together. Valkyrie didn’t like public displays of affection, but she wasn’t allergic to them either. The hand-holding, the sitting close together, Fletcher’s hand on the small of her back… These things did nothing to take Tanith’s mind off the subject. And then there were the talks, Valkyrie filling her in on details Tanith could have done without. But that was her role, she supposed. Best friend and big sister, all in one.

  Her eyes drifted to the back of Skulduggery’s head. Maybe not best friend, she corrected. But close enough.

  They climbed on to the stage and passed through the door in the screen. Clarabelle met them in the corridor, wearing her white lab coat over a summer dress, and a huge black gas mask contraption on her head.

  “Good morning,” she said, her cheery voice muffled. “Are you here to pick up the patient? She’s not very nice. She said some harsh words about my intelligence before the Professor made her go unconscious again.”

  “Why are you wearing that?” Tanith asked.

  Clarabelle’s head dipped heavily as she looked down at her dress. “Because it’s pretty.”

  “No, I mean the gas mask.”

  “Hmm? Oh, this. I just wanted to see what it would be like to live in a bubble. Professor Grouse is busy elsewhere. He said the patient should be awake in about half an hour, and then he asked me to escort you to her.”

  “It’s OK,” Skulduggery said, “we know where she is.”

  “Good, because I think I’m lost.” Clarabelle caught sight of the doorway nearest to her and she wandered through it, bashing her head against the doorframe on the way.

  “Delightful lady,” Ravel said as they walked on.

  They got to the Medical Bay, where they found Davina Marr sedated and unconscious. Skulduggery undid the restraints, then shackled her hands behind her back. He pulled her into a sitting position, and suddenly she started levitating. For a split second, Tanith was ready to spring into action.

  “You were going to carry her?” Ravel asked, manipulating the air to float Marr gently to the door. “Why make things more difficult than they have to be?”

  Tanith relaxed, and Skulduggery shook his head as they followed Ravel out into the corridor. “I like to keep magic for special occasions. I don’t use it simply to show off.” He caught the grin Tanith threw his way. “Shut up.”

  She laughed.

  They put Marr in the boot of the Bentley and drove to Skulduggery’s house, with Tanith following on her motorbike. By the time they got there, Tanith’s teeth were chattering with the cold.

  Skulduggery carried Marr into the living room, where he secured her to a chair. He left his hat and gun on a coffee table and Ravel hung up his coat. Tanith turned the heating on, and when she walked back into the room, Marr was awake, and smiling.

  “You look happy,” Skulduggery said.

  Marr shrugged. “Not happy, just surprised.”

  “At your surroundings?”

  “At the fact that I’m still alive. I thought Tesseract would have tracked me down by now.”

  “I assure you, you’re quite safe.”

  “No I’m not, and neither are you. Any of you.”

  “In that case, we better talk fast before we’re interrupted. You’ve been betrayed. Tell us what we want to know and we’ll protect you.”

  Marr laughed. “You can’t protect me. This is Tesseract we’re talking about.”

  “You may not have noticed, but there are more of us than there are of him.”

  “I’m startled that you think it’ll make a difference.”

  “Tell us who you were working with,” said Skulduggery.

  “I wasn’t working with anyone. Why is Erskine Ravel here, anyway? Have you joined this merry band of detectives, Mr Ravel? Have you got nothing better to do with your time?”

  “Things have been happening since you’ve been away,” Ravel said. “You don’t know what you’ve been missing.”

  “You claim that you decided to destroy the Sanctuary all by yourself,” Skulduggery said. “Why, Davina? Were you bored that day?”

  “Well, it sounds silly when you say it like that…”

  “You don’t owe these people your loyalty. They want you silenced. They want you dead.”

  “I sincerely don’t know what people you’re referring to.”

  “If you don’t help us,” Skulduggery said, “all the blame lands at your feet. You will be tried, alone, for multiple counts of murder and terrorism.”

  She shook her head. “Terrorism. Everything is terrorism lately. Such an overused word.”

  “Those whose spread terror are terrorists by definition.”

  “But don’t you think that word misses out on the subtleties that separate these acts from each other? Why do they have to be terrorists? Why can’t they just be criminals and murderers? The spreading of terror isn’t a motive – it’s a means to achieving a goal. Labelling an act of atrocity as terrorism instantly dismisses the nuances of human behaviour as regards hatred, anger and greed.”

  Skulduggery folded his arms. “The destruction of the Sanctuary, then. This wouldn’t be terrorism?”

  “Not at all.”

  “It would simply be murder?”

  “Now you’re getting it,” Marr said with a nod.

  “So you’re a murderer.”

  “Finally, we agree on something.”

  “You forced Myron Stray to take the Desolation Engine into the Sanctuary and set it off. You wanted Valkyrie and myself to be there when it happened.”

  “Sorry about that. Purely personal.”

  “Why did you do it?”

  “I was disgruntled.”

  “You were having an off day?”

  Marr smiled. “Again, you make it sound so silly.”

  “I think you’re lying.”

  “I am deeply hurt.”

  The front door opened, and they all spun. Footsteps approached, and Valkyrie walked in.

  “Hello, sweetie,” Marr smiled.

  Immediately, Valkyrie scowled. “I
s she talking?”

  Marr chuckled. “Do you really think you’re going to get anything out of me? I’ve been where you are, remember. I’ve been the one asking the questions. This doesn’t intimidate me.”

  “Well, yeah,” Valkyrie said, “you asked the questions, but you weren’t very good at it, were you? I mean, I was interrogated by you, and you failed so spectacularly that you had to try to beat a confession out of me.”

  “Very true,” Marr nodded. “I didn’t get a confession though, did I?”

  “No, you didn’t.”

  “But I did get you to beg.”

  The look of anger that came over Valkyrie’s face was startling, and Marr laughed. Tanith silently willed her friend to stay calm.

  “That’s enough,” Skulduggery said. “Davina, you have this one chance to help yourself. If you don’t seize it now, you will die in prison. Were you working for the American Sanctuary? Did they orchestrate the destruction of the Sanctuary to destabilise the country?”

  “This country is already destabilised.”

  “You were reporting back to them, weren’t you?”

  “Maybe the odd postcard.”

  “I’ve never known you to make so many jokes.”

  “You’ve never known me. You thought you did. You thought many things. You know your problem? You think you’re smarter than you actually are. It becomes very annoying to the people around you. You agree, don’t you, Valkyrie? Or maybe I’m asking the wrong person. How about you, Tanith? You’re not besotted with him like Valkyrie is, are you? You’ve got far too many other romances to be thinking about. You’re a very popular girl, from what I hear.”

  Tanith frowned. “Are you coming on to me?”

  “How’s the tailor, by the way? Are you still torturing him by pretending not to notice how he feels?”

  The retort died on Tanith’s tongue, and she just glared.

  “Struck a nerve, did I?” Marr asked. “Deeply sorry. You can continue your interrogation now, if you want. It’s a fun way to pass the time while we wait for Tesseract to find me.”

  “Why are you protecting them?” Skulduggery asked. “They want you dead, Davina.”

  “The whole country wants me dead.”

  “I can’t understand this. You’ve been abandoned. By your own admission, your life is in incredible danger. Why won’t you help us stop the people responsible?”

  “Because this is more amusing.”

  Skulduggery shook his head. “No. That’s not it. That’s not why you’re refusing to help. I think you’re refusing to help because you can’t.”

  “I see,” Marr said. “Yes. That’s exactly right. Well done.”

  “Think about the people responsible.”

  “I told you—”

  “Yes, yes, you told us you were working alone, and we don’t believe you. What I want you to do, Davina, is to think of the people you were working with. You don’t have to tell us their names. I just want you to think about the people. OK?”

  “You want me to think about no one?”

  “I don’t care if you keep up the charade – the only thing I want you to do is see them, in your mind. Picture them. Think of their names.”

  Skulduggery paused, then tilted his head. “You can’t, can you? You can’t picture them. You can’t think of their names. You try to. You’ve probably been trying to for the last five months. But you can’t.”

  Marr wasn’t smiling any more.

  “They’ve blocked themselves from your memory,” Skulduggery continued. “The harder you try to remember, the further away they get. Given time, with the right people and the right procedures, we could break through that wall. But we don’t have the time.”

  Marr shrugged. “So you’ve worked out my little secret. Big deal. Now you can stop repeating the same questions, right?”

  “What do you remember?”

  “You’ve just figured out that I don’t remember anything.”

  “You don’t remember anything specific. What about generalities? Vague impressions? How many of them were there?”

  “Don’t know.”

  “Five? Ten?”

  “One,” Marr said. “A man. I think.”

  “A man contacted you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Told you his plan, asked if you were interested?”

  “That’s as much as I remember.”

  “He left the finer details up to you?”

  “He told me why he wanted the Sanctuary destroyed. Whatever it was he said, it made sense, I remember that much. I agreed with him. I came up with how to go about it, and I set the plan in motion.”

  “You can’t remember anything about him?” Skulduggery pressed. “Height? Accent? Hair colour? Age?”

  Marr sighed. “Nothing. Whatever he dazzled me with, it dazzled me good. I’ve been trying to remember the finer details since it happened, but all I get is a very confused fog.”

  “If we can get you remembering, will you help us?”

  “No point. I’ll be dead before the day is out.”

  “If we keep you alive, will you help us?”

  “And what do I get out of it? Immunity? Do I get to walk free?”

  “No,” Ravel said. “We can’t give you that. But we can make sure that the people who set this up are brought to justice.”

  “What kind of justice? The kind of justice where I’m tied to a chair in someone’s living room? I don’t see any officials here, or anything stopping you from executing me the moment I tell you what you want to know. Would they be brought to this kind of justice?”

  “Exactly this kind of justice.”

  She smiled. “Well, why didn’t you say so? Call whoever you have to call – let’s get my memories unlocked.”

  Skulduggery made a few calls, and Tanith and Valkyrie went into the kitchen to chat. A few minutes later, Tanith excused herself and walked into the bathroom. She shut the door behind her, unbuckled her belt, and looked up into the mirror just in time to see a colossal man in a metal mask reaching for her.

  17

  THE JOB

  Tesseract spent three hours gating into the Skeleton Detective’s house. First he dismantled the magical defences, then he turned his attention to the technological. He worked quickly but without hurry, allowing himself to be impressed with the attention to detail in the security arrangements. Before this visit to Ireland, he had never personally encountered Skulduggery – Tesseract liked to be on a first-name basis with the people he would probably end up killing – and he was glad to see that all the stories about his professionalism appeared to be true. A worthy opponent, if ever there was one.

  Of course, Tesseract wasn’t especially interested in worthy opponents. He was not on a crusade to prove himself, or test himself, or needlessly risk his life or his freedom. If he had the choice, he always preferred to kill someone when they were distracted, or when their back was turned, or when they were sleeping. He had even, on one memorable occasion, killed a man who was already dead. A heart attack had taken his target’s life before Tesseract had even reached him, so he stabbed him once, not too deep, and returned to his employer to claim his payment. Tesseract was not above a little foul play. He was, after all, an assassin.

  And so his current situation was not resting easily in his mind. He didn’t like the fact that, in order to find out where Davina Marr was being kept, he would have to go through Skulduggery Pleasant, and probably Valkyrie Cain, and whoever else they might have along with them. The numbers were against him, but his employers at Roarhaven had given him a deadline. Tesseract’s hand, as they say, had been forced.

  He wasn’t nervous. He wasn’t excited. He wasn’t looking forward to the blood he had to spill, but neither was he dreading it. Two, or even three, against one were not good odds, and yet he felt no fear. He was a professional, and he was quite capable of killing three sorcerers in one go, even sorcerers as powerful and experienced as Skulduggery, provided he took them by surprise.

&n
bsp; Neither was he dismissing Valkyrie Cain. He had files on everyone he was likely to go up against, and he had one on her too. She had a habit of upsetting the plans of her enemies – through either luck, skill, or pure bloody-minded determination. She was not to be underestimated.

  His face itched under the mask. He had chosen an angular one for today, with deep cheekbones cut into the metal and three small holes at his mouth. He took a knife from the sheath under his arm, poked the tip through the left eyehole and manoeuvred it down to give himself a good scratch. He grumbled with satisfaction, but put the knife away when he heard the car.

  He went to the window, saw Skulduggery and Erskine Ravel get out of the Bentley. Tanith Low rode up after them on her bike. Three powerful sorcerers. These weren’t good odds, but he’d faced worse. Under the cover of night, Skulduggery lifted something large from the boot of the car. For once, luck was smiling on Tesseract. They’d brought Davina Marr to him.

  He left the room, staying away from the other windows. He stood behind the door in the bathroom, his breathing as calm and as quiet as ever. The front door opened and they came in. He heard Davina’s voice as they questioned her.

  If he was lucky, Davina would be allowed a bathroom break. Then all Tesseract would have to do was step out and implode her skull, and vanish before anyone came knocking. If he was unlucky, he’d have to kill Tanith or Erskine first, and work through them one at a time. If he was really unlucky, no one would need to visit the bathroom at all, and he’d have to confront the whole lot of them at once.

  He stayed behind the door for twenty-three minutes. He heard Valkyrie arrive, which brought the tally to four against one. The odds were getting worse. There was a break in the questioning, and Valkyrie and Tanith moved to the kitchen. Another minute passed before one of them left, their footsteps getting closer. Tanith Low walked into the bathroom, already unbuckling her belt, and swung the door shut without seeing him. The first to die, then.