Skulduggery Pleasant: Mortal Cole

by Derek Landy

  Skulduggery ran in, fire in both his hands. He stopped in the middle of the room and sent twin streams of flame down into the hole. Valkyrie heard screams and shouts and a lot more cursing. Suddenly he doused the flames and crouched, fingers splayed out on the ground. The floor rumbled, cracked, and belched clouds of dust into the air as the tunnel caved in beneath them.

  Skulduggery looked up. “Everyone OK?”

  Tanith nodded. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. “Another one of your new tricks?” she panted.

  “Just the natural progression of earth manipulation. I’ll have to teach it to you sometime.”

  “It won’t hold them for long,” Tanith said.

  The possessed were inside the cinema and they were trying to get through into the science-magic facility. Valkyrie heard a terrified scream, and she split off from the rest. She rounded the corner to see a woman with wild, bushy hair closing in on Clarabelle. Valkyrie dived on her.

  “Run!” she said to Clarabelle, and Clarabelle did.

  The woman elbowed her and Valkyrie heard a crackle, just as the woman brought up a stun gun. Valkyrie dodged back, stumbled and fell backwards. She was so tired, her body so drained, that when she hit the ground it actually felt good to be lying down. Then the crazy woman jumped on her and it didn’t feel so good any more.

  The stun gun crackled centimetres from her neck, and Valkyrie did her best to keep it away. “You’ll thank me for this later,” the crazy woman said through gritted teeth.

  Valkyrie braced her forearm against the lower half of the woman’s face and slowly forced it back. She was running on pure adrenaline, and she was down to her last reserves. The crazy woman grinned, and Valkyrie’s strength failed. A moment before the stun gun pressed into her skin, Fletcher grabbed the woman and yanked her off. They vanished and Valkyrie sank back. Slowly, and with a moan, she raised both arms up. Fletcher reappeared above her, took her hands, and pulled her to her feet.

  “I’m getting pretty good at this nick of time stuff, aren’t I?” he asked. She would have hit him if she wasn’t so tired.

  Skulduggery ran over, China and Tanith behind him. “Fletcher, did you make it to the mountains?”

  “Yes, we did,” Fletcher said. “We don’t know where the cavern is exactly, but I can definitely teleport to the general area.”

  “You’re the only one immune to the Remnants,” China said to Skulduggery. “When we get there, we’ll do our best to hold them off while you activate the machine. From this point on, you’re the only one who matters.”

  “I got Kenspeckle to open a few doors,” Ghastly said, hurrying over, “so they’re all flowing into the cinema. We need them in one place, and we’re not going to get a better chance than right now.”

  Skulduggery turned to Valkyrie. “Are you ready?”

  She nodded. “I can do it.”

  “Fletcher, they’re going to be focused on the screen, trying to get through. You need to teleport us behind them, and then be ready to teleport everyone to the MacGillycuddy’s Reeks. Can you do that?”

  “I can,” Fletcher said. “Everybody hold hands, now.”

  Suddenly they were in the cinema, watching two thousand crazy people as they shouted and laughed and cursed.

  “Valkyrie,” Skulduggery said. “Now.”

  She reached out, allowing the coldness of the ring to spread to her fingertips. The shadows swirled and rose like a dark mist. The noise gradually died down, as the possessed swiped at the mist, expecting an attack. When none came, they looked around, confused. Valkyrie felt the shadows drift between them, and concentrated on spreading it out further. She opened her eyes, saw them all looking at her.

  “Fletcher!” Skulduggery barked.

  “Everyone hang on,” Fletcher said. His hand gripped Valkyrie’s shoulder. The others formed a chain on the other side of her.

  “I’m not the one moving,” she heard him murmur. “It’s the universe that revolves around me…”

  Valkyrie saw it out of the corner of her eye, a sliver of blackness reaching from behind Fletcher’s shoulder. Before she could warn him, the Remnant scampered up to his face and he stumbled back, trying to tear it away. He fell to one knee, but it was already in his mouth. He reared back and it was gone from sight, and his body arched in pain, then relaxed.

  All around them, the possessed were laughing. Fletcher raised his head, and smiled with black lips.

  Skulduggery’s gun leaped into his hand, but Fletcher disappeared.

  “Over here,” Fletcher said.

  They spun. Ghastly pushed at the air, but Fletcher was already gone. He appeared beside Tanith, who whirled in an instant, her sword slicing through nothing but empty space.

  “You can’t beat me,” Fletcher said from behind them.

  Skulduggery fired and China hurled daggers of red light.

  “How stupid are you?” Fletcher called from the stage.

  “I can be everywhere and anywhere,” Fletcher said from ten paces away.

  “You can’t stop me,” Fletcher laughed from right beside them. He grabbed Valkyrie, pulling her from the others, and teleported her to the middle of the possessed sorcerers. The dark mist was already gone. The sorcerers around them started to chuckle. She glimpsed Skulduggery and the others through the gaps, but they were being ignored now that the Remnants had their prize.

  “I love you,” Fletcher said, holding her close. “I was pretty sure I loved you before this, but now? Now I know. I love you more than anything, Val, and please trust me. When you’re joined, you’ll like it.”

  Valkyrie punched him right across the jaw, elbowed a woman who reached for her and kicked out at a man. Someone tripped her and she fell. The people laughed, and then she felt hands grabbing her from beneath, and she sank into the ground. The sorcerers dived for her, but it was no use, and she shut her eyes as she was pulled down, underground.

  “Hello, li’l darlin’,” Billy-Ray Sanguine said in her ear.

  47

  STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

  The rumbling stopped and Valkyrie felt the cold, hard earth all around her. It was pitch-black and the familiar fears rose in her throat. Her thumb pressed against her index finger.

  “If you’re plannin’ on clickin’ those fingers and generatin’ a little flame to see by,” Sanguine said, “may I suggest an alternative that will not burn up our remainin’ oxygen?”

  Yellow light flooded the small space that surrounded them, and Valkyrie found herself looking at her own reflection in his sunglasses. He handed her the narrow torch. “Got this for you,” he said, his perfect white teeth flashing in a smile.

  “What are you doing?” she whispered.

  “I ain’t exactly sure on this,” he replied, “but it looks to me, and I may be wrong, but it looks to me like I’m savin’ your life. Yep, I… I think that’s what it is.”

  She frowned. “You’re not one of them?”

  “The Remnants? Naw, they haven’t got me yet. Creepy critters, ain’t they?”

  Valkyrie shifted a little. A half-dozen rocks were sticking painfully into her. “Why are you here?”

  “Now, before you get all aggressive, let me say that I do remember the last time we met, and I do remember the promise you made me.”

  “I said I’d kill you.”

  “I told you I remembered, didn’t I?” Sanguine said crossly. “No need to threaten me again, just because you can. Fact is, I was plannin’ on leavin’ you alone for a while, but a job came up, and I needed my… payment.”

  “How are you mixed up in this?”

  “For once, I’m on the side of the angels, if those Roarhaven folk can be described as such. They hired me to help out against the creepy critters. I had a look, saw that they seemed to be goin’ after you all the time, so I figured the best way to hurt them is to take away the thing they want.

  “I admit, the thought did enter my mind to kill you, and so take you away from them on a more permanent basis, but two factors stopped me from that c
ourse of action. The first factor is that for all I know, the reason they want you so bad is to kill you, and so by killin’ you myself, I’d be doin’ them one hell of a favour. The second factor is that I don’t want you dead just yet. I’m quite lookin’ forward to all the pain and torture I know you got comin’ to you.”

  “You’re on our side?”

  “That appears to be what I’m tryin’ to say.”

  “So… you’ll be fighting beside us?”

  “It’ll be strange, not tryin’ to cut your throat all the time, but yeah.”

  Valkyrie pushed questions and suspicions and misgivings out of her mind. “OK, fine. We need to get into the Medical Bay to get Kenspeckle and Clarabelle, and then we have to get to the van on the other side of the street.”

  “In a sec.”

  She glared. “Let’s go.”

  “You ain’t my damn boss, Cain. For your information, whatever force field thing you guys cooked up means I have to go deeper than usual to get around it, which means I have to work harder. We’ll move when we’re able to move.”

  “You’re still injured.”

  “Yes,” he said, his mouth twisting into an ugly sneer, “I’m still injured from when you cut me with a damn sword. I am still unable to move with my usual efficiency. Now, if this inconveniences you, please accept my heartfelt apologies. But once again, I must let it be known that this is your damn fault.”

  The look on his face and the hate in his voice told Valkyrie to tread cautiously. He was a killer and a psychopath, and although he may have temporarily switched sides, she knew it wouldn’t take a lot for him to abandon her down here.

  “Bet you never thought we’d end up on the same side, huh?” he asked, a new smile crossing his features. “Bet you never thought I’d save your skin.”

  “What?”

  “Just makin’ small talk. Got to distract myself from the pain, y’know? Life has a funny way of workin’ out, don’t it? Take your friend, for example. The sword-lady.”

  “Tanith?”

  “First time we met, we were tryin’ to kill each other, remember that? But every time subsequent to that there’s been a kind of a frisson between us.”

  “A what?”

  “Frisson. It’s French for… To be honest I don’t really know what it’s French for, but I know what it means in American. A sort of electrical undercurrent of emotion.”

  “I know what frisson means, but I really don’t think Tanith would share your view.”

  “You’re a kid. You don’t know the ways of menfolk and womenkind. All those threats she fires my way? That there is the mark of flirtation.”

  “Oh, dear God,” Valkyrie said, the colour draining from her face. “You fancy Tanith.”

  “I don’t fancy her, I—”

  “You have a crush on Tanith. That is disgusting.”

  “What? Why would it be disgustin’?”

  “Because you’re a hired killer.”

  “That don’t make it disgustin’, just makes it… unusual. Does she talk about me?”

  “Somebody shoot me.”

  “What does she say? I’m a formidable foe, right? Does she say anythin’ in a kind of a more… wistful voice?”

  “I don’t want to talk about this.”

  “Does she ever say, ‘If only he were good…’?”

  “Stop your talking. Stop it right now. Stop it. She has a boyfriend.”

  His face fell. “Someone I know?” he asked morosely.

  “He may have punched you a few times, yes.”

  “She’s not… She’s not datin’ the skeleton, is she? How would that be even possible, let alone… nice? He’s got no skin, or lips, or… or nothin’. And he talks. Good God, he talks and he never shuts up.”

  “It’s not Skulduggery.”

  “Well then, who else could it…? It’s not the ugly fella, is it? It couldn’t be the ugly fella.”

  “Don’t call him ugly.”

  “It is him! But he’s all scars! I mean, I know I ain’t got no eyes, but once you get past that, you got my face. And my face is all right. Better’n his. His is a mess, like he was dropped head first into a blender as a kid. Seriously? She’s with him?”

  “Seriously, and you’re not going to break them up. Not because you won’t try, but because you won’t be able to. Look, are you ready yet? Can we move now?”

  “I’m ready,” he snapped. “But this conversation stays between us, understand? My romancin’ ain’t gonna work if she knows it’s comin’.”

  “Believe me, I never want to speak to anyone about this ever again.”

  Sanguine took a breath and clenched his jaw, and Valkyrie clung on tight. They burrowed through the ground, the rumbling like thunder in her ears. She spat out dirt, keeping her eyes closed. Eventually she felt their trajectory shift. They were headed upwards now, but moving slower and slower with each passing second.

  They broke through to light. They weren’t in the Medical Bay, but they were close enough. She left him panting on the ground.

  “Stay here,” she said, “and catch your breath. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  “Missin’ you… already,” he managed.

  Valkyrie took off running. She called Kenspeckle’s name, then Clarabelle’s. She knew Kenspeckle wouldn’t allow himself to be taken over again, but didn’t know quite how far he’d go to stop that from happening. Would he hurt himself? Would he do worse?

  “Kenspeckle!” she shouted. “We have to go! Clarabelle!”

  Getting no answer, she ran the length of the corridor and turned into the next one. She called again for Kenspeckle, and passed yet another darkened room.

  Drip.

  She stopped, and turned. Slowly, she retraced her steps. She listened intently.

  Drip. Drip. Drip.

  Valkyrie pressed her shoulder to the wall, centimetres from the doorway.

  “Hello?” she said softly. “Kenspeckle? Clarabelle?”

  Drip.

  “Kenspeckle. It’s me. It’s Valkyrie. Are you in there?”

  Still no answer. Still no sound, apart from that irregular dripping.

  “I’m coming in,” she said, and stepped into the room. She poured her magic into a flame and it burned fiercely, throwing light across the countertops and equipment to each of the four corners. A warm, flickering light that illuminated Kenspeckle Grouse as he lay on the table, and Clarabelle, his assistant, as she crouched on top of him, a scalpel in each hand. Kenspeckle’s eyes were open and unseeing, and the work Clarabelle had been doing reminded Valkyrie of her own dissection just a few days earlier. Blood covered him, and dripped to a puddle on the floor.

  Clarabelle screeched, her lips black and her skin riddled with veins. She leaped off the old man’s corpse and fell on to Valkyrie. They sprawled out through the door, landing in the corridor, those scalpels whipping at Valkyrie like snakes. Valkyrie seized one of Clarabelle’s wrists, held the blade away from her, tried to block the other one, but it bit into her face and scraped along her cheekbone. Warm blood flowed. Valkyrie cried out, and anger coursed through her, giving her the strength to throw Clarabelle off.

  She got up, grabbed a metal tray and swung it into the back of Clarabelle’s head. She hit her again, and again, and wouldn’t let her up. Valkyrie battered her until Clarabelle dropped to the floor and didn’t move. Valkyrie threw the tray to one side and ran.

  The corridors twisted and turned. Valkyrie’s hand was at her face, the blood pouring through her fingers. She slowed, panting, and heard voices. She crept forward, peered round the corner. Shudder and Tesseract were heading her way, followed by several other sorcerers, including Fletcher.

  “We’re going to have to break her,” Fletcher was saying. “You don’t know her, not like I do.”

  “Leave Darquesse to us,” Tesseract said.

  “But that’s it, right there, that’s your problem. She’s not Darquesse, not yet. She’s still Valkyrie. We’ll never convince her to embrace her inner mas
s-murderer unless we cut off the things that she clings to.”

  “And your suggestion?” asked Shudder.

  Valkyrie ducked into a doorway as they neared.

  “I’ll go pick up her parents,” she heard Fletcher say, and her stomach lurched. “I’ll bring them back here and kill them in front of her.”

  “And what will this accomplish?” Tesseract asked. “Apart from making her hate us so much she never gives in? No, Valkyrie must become Darquesse willingly. We leave her family alone, for now.”

  Valkyrie stayed where she was, crouched in the darkness as they walked away, trying to get her breathing under control. Her hands were shaking as she took her phone from her pocket. She thumbed a button and called her reflection.

  “Take my parents out of the house,” she whispered.

  The reflection’s voice was as cold and uninterested as ever. “Why?”

  “They’re in danger. Fletcher’s been possessed. Take them somewhere. Not to Beryl’s, Fletcher knows where they live. I don’t care where you take them, just get them out of the house.”

  “Hello, baby,” said Fletcher from right behind her.

  Valkyrie twisted, but he was already gone. Something hit her hand and her phone went flying. She swung a fist in an arc, but didn’t catch him, and then he was behind her again and his fist crunched into the back of her head. She dropped to all fours, hair in her face, stunned. He grabbed her and hauled her up, threw her over a table and teleported to the other side as she landed on the ground. He kicked her, the Remnant inside him adding to his strength. She curled up, struggling for air.

  “I thought I heard you,” he said. He was smiling. That cute smile she liked so much. “When I said I wanted to kill your folks, I thought I heard something, a little gasp. I knew it was you.”

  Valkyrie turned over, gave a moan of pain.

  “I’ll bring you to the others in a bit,” Fletcher said, “don’t you worry about that. I just thought it’d be nice if we spent a few minutes alone. I thought you might want to talk or something.”