by Tara Wyatt
She couldn’t help but wonder if she was destined to always be the outsider when it came to families. Always the outcast looking in, staring longingly at something she’d never have. Like a little girl reading a book of fairytales, wishing she could disappear inside the pages, all the while knowing it was impossible.
Her eyes stung and her throat burned at the thought. Blinking away her tears, she pushed aside her fear, her loneliness, her longing, searching for something to channel all of her hurt into. Looking for something to get angry about. Just then, Will Grant walked past her open office door, whistling to himself, and Aerin grinned, putting her game face on. Perfect.
Pushing to her feet, she followed him down the hall to his much larger office, not making eye contact with his assistant, just following him right into his office. When he turned and sat down behind his desk, his eyebrows rose in surprise.
“Aerin. What can I do for you?”
“I want that promotion you promised me.” She walked right up to the edge of his desk, forcing him to look up at her.
The asshole scratched his chin and looked up at the ceiling. “Promotion? I don’t remember ever talking about a promotion with you.”
“Don’t play stupid with me, Will. It’s not a good look on you.”
“What promotion is it that you think we talked about?” he asked, his patience clearly slipping.
“Alvarez. You said if I signed him, we’d talk partnership.”
He let out a tiny laugh. “Oh. That. Listen, I never promised you shit. All I said was that I’d talk to the partners. I’m sorry if you misinterpreted our conversation.”
“You told me that if I signed Alvarez, I’d be made partner.”
He wagged his finger at her. She suppressed a growl along with the urge to snap that damn finger right off. “No, I said I’d talk to the partners. Who were less than pleased when you signed Alvarez with the Longhorns for piss off money instead of the Red Sox. That’s not a good look, sweetheart.”
She braced her hands on his desk, leaning forward. Looming over him. “Do not call me sweetheart.”
“Get out of my office. Sweetheart.” He leveled his gaze at her, and she saw the truth in his eyes. He’d played her. Bile rose up in her throat and she didn’t even want the promotion anymore.
“Fuck you. I quit.”
He smirked at her. “Good luck with that. You have a non-compete. You can’t take any clients with you to a different agency.”
She smirked right back. “My non-compete clause doesn’t say anything about starting my own agency and taking my clients with me as an independent contractor. You really suck at negotiations, Will.”
She turned to go and heard Will rise up out of his chair. He scurried around his desk and came to skidding stop in front of her just before she reached the door to his office. “You’re making a mistake.”
“No, Will. The mistake is all yours. You made a big one when you thought you could treat me like a doormat and get away with it.”
“Don’t be so emotional. You’re going to regret this.”
She shook her head and smiled at him. “I think you’re the one who’s going to regret this. Now get the fuck out of my way.”
With her heart pounding fiercely, her blood rushing through her ears, she stormed back to her office. Wanting to get the hell out of there, she dumped the contents of a banker’s box onto the couch in her office and started stuffing her personal items into it. She didn’t need to take any files—she had electronic copies of everything. As she packed, she dialed Javi on speakerphone, her hands shaking a little. He answered on the first ring.
“Hey, baby. What’s up?”
“Hey. I just quit my job. You free for lunch?”
Javi strode up to his front door, his keys jingling in the dark. After his lunch with Aerin, he’d taken her back to his place, had sex with her on his kitchen counter, and then left her chilling on his couch, doing research and making phone calls about setting up her own agency. He’d wanted to stay with her, just to keep her company, but he’d had to head to the park for that evening’s game against the Tigers. The Longhorns had won, 6-2, and after the requisite press, he’d gone right home. Aerin had decided to stay for the next couple of nights given the upheaval in her professional life, something he was more than happy with.
He found her in the living room, papers and files spread around her, her laptop perched on the coffee table beside her cell and a half-filled notebook. She lay on the floor surrounded by it all, wearing nothing but her underwear and an ancient Pirates T-shirt of his. She stared up at the ceiling.
“I think I broke my brain.” She pushed herself up awkwardly, a Post-It note stuck to her hair. “Did you win? Sorry, I meant to turn it on, but I was absorbed in what I was doing.”
“Yeah, we won.” He strode toward her, holding his hand out to her and hauling her to her feet. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close. “And I have good news. You don’t need your brain for what I want to do.”
She laughed and kissed him, sliding her arms around her neck. “Perfect. Because it is definitely out of commission right now.” He spun her around, his hand splayed over her stomach, his mouth on her neck.
“Tell me what you need.”
She tipped her head back, relaxing against him as his fingers dipped lower and lower, tracing the edge of her panties through the T-shirt. She let out a shuddery sigh, her hips already rolling against him.
“Fuck me like you love me.” Her words were a whisper, barely audible, but they made everything in Javi come to life. They’d never said those words before, had only danced around them, and hearing them now made him want her so much he could’ve vibrated out of his skin.
He pulled the neck of the T-shirt down, exposing her bare shoulder, trailing his lips over her skin. “You know,” he murmured, dipping his hand lower and cupping her through the layers of fabric separating them, “that first night at Jake and Abby’s wedding, I was playing your game. Playing into the fantasy you wanted.” He traced his fingers back and forth over her slit, feeling her get wetter and hotter under his touch. She let out a soft moan, moving against his hand. “But I’m not pretending right now.”
“Javi,” she said, her voice a shivery whisper. Her entire body shook and he sank his teeth softly into her shoulder, tracing the bite with his tongue.
“I’ve got you, baby. I’m right here.” The words seemed to fill up the space between them, glowing, pulsing, enfolding them in their truth.
He dipped his hand into the waistband of her panties, teasing her with featherlight touches and gentle strokes as he nipped at her ear, her jaw, her neck, her shoulder. Teasing her until she was pushing against his hand, silently begging for more. His cock strained against his boxers, hard and ready for her. He fought against what he wanted—to sink into her, right here, right now, and lose himself in the perfection of her body—because he wanted to give her what she’d asked for. More than anything, he wanted to show her how he felt about her.
He parted her lips and easily slid two fingers inside her, circling his thumb around her swollen clit. “I love how you feel on my hand,” he said, his voice low and husky. Strained with the emotions coursing through him. “I love the way you grip me and soak me when I fuck your gorgeous pussy with my fingers.”
She gasped as he added a third finger and found that rough spot inside her that drove her insane. She coated his fingers with her arousal, writhing against him, her head moving back and forth. A long groan fell from her lips and her legs started to shake. She tightened around his fingers and then he felt the first fluttering pulse of her orgasm. Her fingers curled around his forearms, clutching at him as she shook and moaned, finally gasping out his name and falling against him.
He carefully slid his fingers free of her body and then spun her in his arms, hauling her against him. She leaned forward, capturing his mouth with hers, the languid kiss filled with sweetness. But the sweetness soon turned to something hotter, something edgier. So
mething that was uniquely them. With a growl, he lifted her, her legs winding around his waist, as he walked them down the hall to his bedroom. They fell to the bed in a tangle of mouths and limbs, a hungry desperation now spreading between them.
Clothes flew off—her shirt, his pants, her panties, his shirt—until they were skin to skin. She opened her legs, letting him settle into the cradle of her thighs. They both let out a long, loud moan as his cock slid over her wet folds. He worked himself against her again, heat dancing along his spine. Teasing both of them, he gave her just the tip of his bare cock. The heat of her almost scorched him, making him grit his teeth against the urge to bury himself inside her.
Aerin arched up into him and he dipped his head, taking her nipple into his mouth, trying to distract himself from how badly he wanted inside her with nothing between them. But then, as though she could read his mind, she wove her hands through his hair and pulled his face to hers.
“Fuck me like you love me,” she rasped, working her pussy against his cock, pulling him in another inch. “Just you.”
“Oh God, Aerin,” he ground out, weaving one of his hands with hers and pinning it above her head. His other hand came to her hip, lifting her up so he could take another couple inches of her bare. It had been a long time since he’d been with anyone like this, but he didn’t remember it ever feeling this intimate or meaningful, and he knew the difference was Aerin.
With another thrust, he buried himself to the hilt, sinking all the way inside, closing his eyes and feeling like a teenager trying not to come too fast. He felt her hand on his cheek and opened his eyes, gazing down at her beneath him, her blond hair fanning out around her on his pillow. She was so incredibly beautiful that it made his chest tighten with emotion.
“This was never just sex for me,” she said, her eyes bright in the darkness of his bedroom, her fingers tightening around his. “It was always something more.”
“Aerin.” He bent his head and kissed her, a long, slow deep kiss that he mirrored with long, slow thrusts of his hips, working his cock in and out of her, drawing out the perfection of the moment. His heart felt like it was in his throat as they found a rhythm, the speed and intensity of this thrusts increasing. Sweat beaded on his skin, his balls tightening to the point of aching.
“I love you, Javi,” she said, her voice laced with emotion. “I love you.”
Her words were what sent him over, and he rode her hard and deep, taking her. Claiming her. Wanting and needing her. He cried out her name and then couldn’t hold back any longer, his orgasm ripping through him like an electrical shock. He emptied himself inside her in several long spurts. The knowledge that he’d just come inside her, that he’d just filled her up, gave way to a primal urge, and he lowered his head, kissing her with an almost savage passion. Kissing her until the last ounce of pleasure had left his body and he had nothing left because he’d given it all to her.
Seventeen
He hadn’t said it back.
Those were the words that kept playing on repeat in Aerin’s mind as she stared at the ceiling of Javi’s bedroom, morning light creeping in around the drawn curtains. She’d fallen asleep easily last night, the sheer exhaustion of the day pulling her under. But now it was just after six in the morning and she was wide awake. An uneasy tension coiled through her, making it impossible for her to close her eyes and try to drift back to sleep.
He hadn’t said it back. She’d told him she loved him, and he hadn’t said it back. She’d told him that this had always been more than sex to her, and he hadn’t said anything about that either. She chewed on her bottom lip, glancing over at him. He still slept soundly, his face half-hidden by his pillow. God, it felt like such a juvenile thing to be upset about. And yet…it felt big, too. It made her wonder if she was getting in over her head with him. If maybe they weren’t on the same page. She’d thought they were after agreeing to actually be together, and after the romantic night in New York, but now…now she had doubts.
And she hated that she had doubts. Rationally, she knew that her skittishness was probably because of her past, not because of Javi or anything he’d said—or not said, in this case. He’d never done anything to make her think that he wasn’t just as in this with her as she was with him. He’d even introduced her to his kids, something she knew he couldn’t have decided to do lightly.
At the thought of his kids, her doubt seemed to grow, pressing outward against her ribs until she thought she might burst with it.
Okay, so maybe she needed some reassurance as to where she stood with him. She was a big girl. She could ask for what she needed. And she would. Later. After she’d had some time to collect her thoughts.
Javi rolled over and pulled her against him, and for a while, she lay in his arms, reminding herself that he wasn’t Eric. Reminding herself that it wasn’t fair to assume all of the ugly things she was assuming without even talking to him.
And yet she couldn’t seem to work up the courage to open her mouth and ask the questions she most wanted answered: how do you feel about me? Do you see a future for us? What if I never fit with the rest of your family?
“Morning,” he rumbled against her shoulder, kissing her bare skin. Goosebumps erupted down her arm, her body still responding to him as it always did despite her churning mind and hollow stomach.
“Morning.”
He kissed her shoulder again, then stretched and reached over to his nightstand for his watch, checking the time. “Shit, I’d better hop in the shower. I have a breakfast meeting with some admin suits this morning.”
She nodded, watching as he flung the covers back and padded toward his ensuite bathroom, enjoying the hell out of his naked, muscled ass.
“Oh, if my phone goes off, can you check it? I’m expecting to hear from Theo about finalizing the custody agreement. I don’t want to miss him. I know how jammed his schedule is.”
She nodded. “Sure.” Her throat felt dry and scratchy as she rasped out the word, still watching him. Picking up her own phone off the nightstand, she opened her email, ready to bury herself in the work of starting her new agency so she could stop feeling so insecure about everything with Javi.
After a few minutes, she heard Javi’s phone chime from its spot on the other side of the bed. Tossing hers down on the rumpled sheets, she reached over and picked it up. Her heart slammed into high gear when she saw the text message waiting for him.
Cara: I can’t wait to see you again!
Knowing she shouldn’t, but unable to help herself, Aerin touched the text, opening the recent string of messages between Javi and Cara. She swallowed thickly, her throat dry to the point of aching. There were more than a few texts. Definitely more than she’d been expecting to see given that she’d thought they had a somewhat acrimonious relationship.
“No,” she said, closing the texts. She shut her eyes and took a breath. She wasn’t going to read his text messages. She owed him better than that. But then his phone went off again and her eyes opened. A new message from Cara had just popped up on the screen.
Cara: I meant what I said. I really miss you, big guy.
Aerin frowned so hard that the skin pulled taut across her forehead. “What the hell?” she whispered, the last remaining shreds of her restraint evaporating. With a quick glance at the bathroom, where the water from the shower still pattered against the glass and tile, she opened the texts between Javi and his ex-wife again, allowing herself to scroll back just a little bit. Knots formed and twisted in her stomach as she read. From three days ago:
Cara: I saw that you guys won tonight! That was great – and it was sooooo good to see you in uniform. I’m not sure what’s more magic, the pants or your ass.
* * *
Javi: Haha, thanks.
Haha, thanks? What the hell kind of answer was that?
And from two days ago:
Cara: Just going through some old photos and found a few snaps of our beach vacay in Jamaica from way back in the day. I’ll email them t
o you.
* * *
Javi: Sure, okay
* * *
Cara: My God, you were so sexy. I can’t stop looking at these pics. (Or should I say pecs, haha). Not that you look much different now.
* * *
Javi: We shouldn’t be having this conversation.
* * *
Cara: Why, because of the skinny blond bitch? Who our daughters hated, btw
* * *
Javi: I think hate is a strong word. It was one dinner and it didn’t go well. Aerin’s not great with kids because she never had any of her own. I’m sure with time things will improve.
* * *
Cara: And if they don’t?
* * *
Javi: I don’t know.
Aerin tore her eyes away from the screen, blinking furiously to try to stem the tears threatening to fall. What the fuck was going on with Javi and Cara? He wasn’t deflecting her come-ons—not the way a guy in a serious relationship with someone else should. But even worse was the fact that he hadn’t defended her. Cara had called her a bitch and he’d gone on to say she wasn’t great with kids, bringing up her childlessness—a gaping wound if she’d ever had one—and using it in casual conversation with his ex-wife while discussing his future with her.
A future he apparently had doubts about too. She sucked in a deep breath and forced herself to keep reading, wanting to know the truth. There were a few messages from yesterday.
Cara: I’m going to be in town tomorrow morning—last minute work trip. My mom’s staying with the girls. Can we meet up for breakfast? I want to talk about the custody arrangement. Among other things.
