Cookie and the Most Annoying Girl in the World

by Konnie Huq

  ‘Nothing to worry about, Foresters! The Yellow Team must have taken an incorrect turn and ended up on the wrong path. All good now though. There’s soup and rolls back at camp and then time for an early night, I reckon.’

  As the others trudge back towards their tents, Jake walks over to me and hands me the magnet. ‘I think this is yours’, he says, looking angrier and more upset than I’ve ever seen him before. ‘Suzie’s too stupid to think of something like this … and it wouldn’t cross Axel’s mind. I know it was you,’ he snarls.

  And with that, he walks away, leaving me feeling the worst I’ve ever felt in my entire life.

  CHAPTER 20

  Facing Fear in the Face

  So now EVERYONE is cross with me. Great.

  Jake thinks I stuck the magnet to the compass. Alison thinks I’ve stolen her best friend. Suzie and I aren’t speaking anyway. And as for Axel, well, he just looks at the ground most of the time so who knows what’s going on in his head?! But worst of all, Keziah, who never gets cross at anyone, looks really hurt and angry. Well, as angry as Keziah can ever look.

  Things aren’t good.

  Keziah must know I would never have stuck that magnet to the compass, but Jake certainly thinks I did. I’m not sure if he’s told Alison, but you can bet he’s been bad-mouthing me to Keziah.

  Surely deep down she’s unsure whether I did it or not?! I really hope so. She knows I’m not a bad person. This is all SO unfair. I haven’t done anything wrong. It was ‘Psychopath Suzie’. Only I don’t think she actually is a psychopath.

  To be fair she looked really guilty and apologetic after Edmonds had gone into the forest. She knows she’s been totally irresponsible.

  That night, me and Suzie go to sleep without speaking a word to each other.

  I can tell she’s awake from her breathing though. Yep, I can actually recognise the breathing sounds and rhythm of Suzie when she’s sleeping now – we really are becoming a couple! Help!!

  Through my unblocked ear I’m sure I can hear sniffing and the faint sound of muffled crying. I actually feel a bit sorry for her.

  The next morning, my ear is back to normal just in time for our final activity: an army-style assault course. I’m really not in the mood for this. Edmonds explains that it’s a group challenge and that it’ll be daunting in parts, so we’ll all need to work together to beat the clock. Great … half of us aren’t even speaking to each other, so this is the PERFECT time for a teamwork exercise … NOT!

  Our first obstacle is a really high climbing wall.

  We all clamber over it without saying a word to one another. There is zero teamwork involved. Quiet, angry, yet determined, we tackle the wall as though we’re stealth-like ninjas: deadly silent with faces like thunder. Until Suzie stumbles into the mud on the other side, that is, and a shrill scream punctures the silence.

  She blames Jake for shoving into her, who then blames me, but I reckon it’s Alison’s fault. We all end up arguing over it, including ‘non-confrontational’ Keziah … but our yells are interrupted by a shriek of delight.

  ‘I did it!’ cries Axel, catching up with us all and punching the sky. ‘At last! I’ve conquered my fear!’

  We hadn’t noticed that Axel hadn’t made it over the wall up until now as we’d been too busy arguing. We all feel guilty (not psychopaths) that we didn’t help him over but he insists that we did help by ignoring him and squabbling amongst ourselves!!! Apparently, he found it much easier to climb over without anyone looking at him! Hurray for teamwork, I guess?!

  Next, we come across an extremely dark tunnel that we have to crawl along.

  It’s a tight squeeze and pretty tricky to manoeuvre through but we all manage in the end – except for Keziah. How typical that now would be the exact moment that the batteries run out in her torch, paralysing her with fear. We all try to encourage her through the tunnel’s pitch-black interior.

  It’s no use though, she’s completely distraught. I know what I have to do. In a superhero-like move in a bid to regain her friendship, I head straight back into the tunnel. When I reach her, I grab onto her hand and hold it tightly, guiding her out with me and reassuring her the whole way. As she’s a captive audience, I also take the opportunity to explain to her that the magnet incident was nothing to do with me.

  I feel great to be reunited with KK as she clutches onto my hand. BFFs!

  ‘I did it! I’ve conquered my fear too!’ cries Keziah, punching the sky as we come out into the light just like Axel did moments before. We all laugh and Axel leaps into the air, overcome with excitement. He gives Keziah a huge hug. SO un-Axel! We all join in.

  Two tasks down, three to go. This is getting exciting. It isn’t easy but somehow we’re storming through this assault course and having fun together like a proper team.

  As we near the next stage of the course, Suzie comes over to me. ‘You know that was so amazing when you went back for Keziah,’ she says, ‘it really was.’ She smiles and it’s a totally genuine smile and I know she means it.

  ‘I couldn’t have left her,’ I say, smiling back. ‘She’d have done the same for me. I guess that’s what best friends are for.’ As I’m saying it, I can tell that Suzie is really taking in my words.

  Oh help!! Next up is a mud pit (or bacteria pit as Suzie would call it).

  She’ll never get through this. She was bad enough at the bottom of the zipwire, and that was mild in comparison. We all begin squelching our way across it, except for Suzie, who’s refusing to budge. She just stands there squealing at the side.

  It’s like wading through dense, brown treacle. It’s right up to our thighs and it’s so thick that it takes a lot of body strength to actually move through it. Then, around the mid-way point, Alison gets stuck and starts screaming.

  ‘I can’t move,’ she wails. ‘My foot is trapped, I’ll never get out!’

  From where we are, it would be almost impossible to pull her out. Without hesitation or a second thought, in rushes Suzie. It’s as if she’s replicating my superhero rescue mission in a bid to make up with Alison. Alison is so touched by Suzie saving her that she actually cries tears of joy. She’s beside herself with happiness. It practically has me welling up too.

  ‘Thanks so much, Suze,’ sniffs Alison.

  ‘It’s what best friends are for,’ says Suzie, squeezing her arm. Wonder where you got that phrase from, ‘Suze’?!

  Our last challenge is to crawl under a scramble net and then find our way through a cave …

  … which, according to Edmonds, the locals think is haunted. Apparently, someone once went missing in it only to reappear a few days later with complete memory loss!!

  But let’s face it, that story’s totally made up to stop kids hanging about in it, if you ask me. It doesn’t seem to faze Alison in the slightest though. With her new-found euphoria at making up with Suzie, she’s through it in no time at all. She’s focused and determined as if her fear of ghosts was never even a thing!

  Fears and obstacles conquered, all that remains is a short cross-country run through a field to the finish line.

  Job done. Mission complete. Stop the clock!

  As we make our way across the field, it’s plain to see that it’s strewn with rubbish. I stop in my tracks as I realise something.

  ‘Hey, guys … all the other activities have had an environmental twist … I reckon this is a test!’

  At the start of the trip, we’d been given an essentials kit full of stuff like plasters, a small pen and notepad, and other items including a bin bag!! Now I think I know why …

  ‘Yeah, you’re right!’ agrees Keziah. ‘This must be a test! There was a whole thing about taking care of the countryside in the handouts. There was even a massive section on not littering and the importance of picking up rubbish.’

  ‘And she was talking about keeping the countryside clean in her pep talk before we came camping,’ adds Jake. ‘Come to think of it, she mentioned it on the way here.’

  JAKE IS
AGREEING WITH ME!!!! He wasn’t talking to me but he was acknowledging something I’d said. There’s hope!

  Immediately, we all set about picking up the bits of rubbish that are strewn across the field.

  It’s like Suzie and Alison have never been apart. They’re laughing and joking together as they pick up bits of litter without even caring about germs and bacteria. Now I’m the one feeling jealous of Alison. They have way more in common than me and Suzie ever did! Keziah and Axel are off in the distance having their own competition to see who can pick up more rubbish, so this would be the perfect opportunity to corner Jake.

  Plucking up even more courage than I mustered in the tunnel, on the high wall and in the cave put together, I tell Jake everything … about selling the Aliana ticket, my unexpected shopping trip and NOT putting the magnet on the compass.

  I explain to Jake that my only crime was excellent scientific knowledge – knowing that compasses are magnetic – and surely scientific knowledge should be celebrated, not vilified.

  At school we had an assembly on the importance of female scientists and the lack of them in STEM subjects, so you could say I did a good thing.

  I pause as I try to fit an unwieldy plastic carton into my binbag. For a moment, Jake is silent. He’s stunned, taking it all in … then he bursts out laughing.

  ‘Have you quite finished?!!’ he says. ‘I’m seriously amazed how you managed to keep breathing throughout all of that!’

  Yay! Jake’s speaking to me. Finally! I’m so relieved. I start welling up again! Wow! This assault course has emotional depths!!

  I explain to Jake that I was upset that he thought Suzie would only be my friend so she could get her hands on the Aliana ticket. I also admit he kind of had a point, but only because I have much less in common with Suzie than with him and Keziah.

  ‘Exactly,’ he says, ‘and she has more in common with Alison!’

  I get it now.

  Next it’s Jake’s turn to say sorry. He says he should’ve known that I wouldn’t pull a stunt like the magnet one, but he’s just been so preoccupied lately.

  Preoccupied with what? Is it something to do with me? Or something else entirely?

  He says he’s tried to tell me a few times but he just hasn’t found the right moment. He admits that he now knows what his greatest fear is … his parents getting a divorce.

  He has tears in his eyes. It all falls into place. Why he’s been so distant, why he’s been avoiding going home, the suitcases in his parents’ bedroom – they weren’t for a trip to Disneyland but for his dad moving out of the family home. I put my arms around him and he cries quietly into my jacket.

  I tell him that parents split up all the time these days and it’s often better that way. If they’re happier then he’ll be happier. Plus, he’ll get two homes, two bedrooms, two wardrobes, two lots of toys and maybe even two sets of pocket money! He laughs, all snotty and teary.

  It’s high time for me to get over my FOMO, so I tell him that he’s welcome to have my Aliana ticket if he can bear to go with Suzie!

  ‘Are you kidding?!’ he cries. ‘Amazing?!! I can totally bear to go with anyone who’ll sing all the lyrics and do all the dance moves with me. In fact, I’d LOVE TO!’

  All fears conquered and all rubbish collected, it’s time to cross the finish line!!!

  CHAPTER 21

  Home Sweet Home

  We gather round the fire one last time while Edmonds congratulates us all on our wonderful achievement. We’d completed the mission and passed the final test – not to ignore the litter. She hands us each a brown paper goody bag with a certificate, medal, pen, notepad and an ‘I Zipwired to Success’ badge in it. Tucked away at the bottom there are also lots of leaflets, most of which are adverts, offers and coupons for various outdoorsy stuff like eco-products and camping shops.

  We proudly put our medals on.

  ‘You know what?’ grins Edmonds. ‘You’ve all helped me get over my fear … of children.’

  I think she’s joking at first but she goes on to say that she never knew how to act around kids before us, other than just being plain strict. She saw so much spirit and character in our group during our detention that she hoped we would all sign up for the F Factor. And we did!

  She explains that as she’s a supply teacher covering someone who’s away, she’ll be leaving the school in a couple of weeks’ time, so she’s incredibly grateful to us. Our pleasure … I think?! Although we haven’t really done anything apart from just be ourselves! Shame she’s going – we all really like her now.

  On the way back home, I sit with Keziah in the minibus. Edmonds switches the radio on only for Aliana to come blaring out of the speakers. Oh no! Not again! Suzie and Jake instantly feel the need to start doing the dance moves in their seats and lip-synching to the whole thing.

  We all laugh and sing along, Edmonds bopping away in time as she drives. Everyone’s in good spirits. This is the complete OPPOSITE of the journey there.

  ‘Hey!’ says Keziah, looking through her goody bag. ‘There’s a five-pound-off voucher for Mike’s Bikes in here. You can put it towards getting a new bike, Cookie!’

  ‘You can have mine if you like!’ says Suzie UNPROMPTED, waving her voucher in the air. ‘I’ll never buy a bike there before this expires at the end of the month! Plus, I just got a brand-new unicorn bike last week!’ Wonders will never cease!

  The others offer me their vouchers too and before I know it I have thirty pounds’ worth of them! I’m sixty pounds of the way to that hundred-pound bike I’ve seen! I’ve doubled the amount I had in one bus journey! AMAZING!

  Forest camp has given me more towards my bike than MY OWN PARENTS! On reflection, the whole thing has been such fun and a really good learning experience.

  When we finally arrive at the school car park, everyone’s parents cheer us off the bus. We greet them with huge hugs and excited chatter. Jake’s dad has come to pick him up, which gives Jake the biggest grin I’ve seen on his face in weeks.

  Suzie’s parents are amused to see her with unwashed hands. A first!

  They joke about it with Alison’s parents, who are chuffed that Alison is now actually looking forward to going to her great-aunt’s ‘haunted’ mansion.

  Axel and his mum are speaking excitedly at a million miles per hour in German …

  … and Keziah pins her ‘I Zipwired to Success’ badge onto her dad’s newly grown beard.

  ‘Me and Axel shouldn’t have got that badge,’ I say. ‘After all, I fell off and he didn’t even do the zipwire!’

  I notice Suzie sidling over to Jake and wonder what’s going on …

  ‘She’s probably apologising to him about the whole magnet incident,’ says Keziah, reading my mind. ‘She’s already apologised to me.’

  ‘She’s changed!’ I laugh.

  Jake bounds over to us.

  ‘Hey! Guess what?!’ he says.

  ‘Suzie said sorry?’ I reply.

  ‘Yes,’ he continues, ‘but also, Alison’s parents have just invited Suzie to her great-aunt’s stately home the weekend of the Aliana gig, which means she doesn’t want her ticket anymore, so you can come with me if you want, Cookie?!’

  Errr … between Suzie’s Bluetooth speaker and the sing-along in the coach, I was pretty sure that if I never heard ‘Be Who You Am’ again in my life it would be too soon!

  ‘You know what, Jake,’ I say, ‘you should really go with your dad. It’d be great for you two to have some quality time together.’

  Jake’s eyes light up. ‘Really? That’d be SO amazing! Only if you’re sure though.’

  ‘I’m 100 per cent sure,’ I reply. He runs off to tell his dad. To be honest, I’m a bit relieved. I’ve finally got over my fear of missing out! No more FOMO for me!

  Jake’s dad insists on buying the ticket off Suzie for twenty-five pounds – the same amount that she paid me for it – so it all works out perfectly!

  Suzie comes over to me next …

  ‘C
ookie, I just wanted to say I really am sorry about the whole compass thing. I know you probably think it was mean of me but sometimes I get a bit carried away. I really, really am sorry. I hope you believe me.’

  Wow. An apology from Suzie Ashby, and a heartfelt one at that. This seems like a good time for me to fess up too.

  ‘I owe you an apology as well,’ I say. ‘I totally lied to you about the whole fasting thing. Ramadan was actually in May, but I felt bad that your mum had made all that food and I couldn’t eat any of it because it was pork and I’m Muslim! Once I started lying, I found it really hard to own up.’

  ‘No way!’ says Suzie, a little taken aback.

  ‘It’s true!’ I reply. ‘I’ve had to hide from you any time I was eating during the day ever since I was at your house!’

  Suzie goes quiet … and then bursts out laughing! It does seem totally ridiculous on reflection. I burst out laughing too.