Demon in Disguise

by Marita A. Hansen

  “Yeah, it’s always the bloke’s fault according to you.”

  “I’m not talking about you, Joel, I’m talking about what Ash did to Tiana. He did her wrong, but with you I was the one who did the wrong. I’m not blaming you, I’m blaming myself for losing you. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved, so please come back.”

  He went quiet. Yet again! He always did this on the phone when he didn’t want to answer me, intent on doing something totally different to what I wanted. It scared me, scared me so much that I opened my mouth to beg, to do anything to stop him from pulling away from me, but before I could get a word out, he finally answered.

  “I’ll think ’bout it,” he said.

  Hope sprung up, an opening that made my heart beat faster. Because his thinking about it usually resulted in him returning. This was good, so good!

  “Yes, yes, please do,” I said, missing the dumb, lazy lug like crazy, because, even though he only had a few brain cells more than Forrest Gump, it still didn’t stop my own stupid mind from loving him unconditionally. It also helped that he was an incredibly sexy man, one that always got me going.

  “Never had you begging me so hard before,” he said. “What’s changed?”

  Your new girlfriend. “I’m scared of losing you forever.”

  “You jealous?”

  “Yes,” I said, willingly putting my pride aside. I would even shove it into the garbage bin to win him back. No matter how many downfalls he had, he had more good things on his side. Plus, my heart wanted what it wanted, and Joel was it.

  I continued, “Whenever we split, I always know we’ll get back together—”

  He cut me off, “But this time you don’t think that?”

  “Yes. I’m scared I’ve lost you to her,” I choked out, unable to stop the sob from escaping, because I was scared. I’d honestly thought this was it, that he was never coming home to me, and the thought destroyed me.

  “Shit, Lavinia, don’t cry. You fuck me up bad when you cry.”

  I sniffled and wiped my eyes. “I just miss you so much.”

  “I miss you too, babe,” he said softly, almost a whisper, making me wonder whether his girlfriend was staying over with him.

  “Then come home,” I said, emphasising the last word, because this was his home, where he belonged. I wanted my man back, to be here, not with that skinny bitch. “I promise to treat you better. I’ll support you so you can follow your dream. I’ll get completely behind you if you want to go full-time as a bassist.”

  He exhaled. “The only way you’ll be able to do that is through Dante’s money.”

  “I know,” I replied, realising there was no way around it now. “I’ll ring Tiana right away, ask her advice. She still gets on with Dante, even said they’re like siblings.”

  “What ’bout Cleo? What are ya gonna tell the li’l one ’bout why she looks like Dante?”

  I breathed out, “The truth.”

  “You want me to come over so we can do it together?”

  “No, this is on me. I’ve made you lie to her about being her dad for far too long. I need to do this on my own, to make her understand without upsetting you further.”

  “What if she tells people? Do ya want her to be in the public eye, for reporters to dredge up your past, finding out ’bout how old you and Dante were when you made Cleo?”

  “So, you want me to lie about why she looks like Dante?”

  “No, deflick it.”

  “You mean deflect,” I answered, Joel really not bright. It still didn’t matter. I loved him, like I loved Cleo, and with all my heart, and he actually had a point. I didn’t want Cleo in the public eye, I just wanted Dante to pay for her, to help us out, just without anyone finding out in the process.

  “Yeah, deflect her question,” Joel said, “bring sumpthin’ up that she likes that’ll take her mind offa it, like goin’ to Dreamworld. She’ll instantly forget ’bout why she looks like Dante if you promise to take her there.”

  “I can’t afford that.”

  “You’ll be able to afford it and loads more if ya get some of Dante’s money. He’s rich and famous and all that. So, sort it.”

  “And you’ll come back?”

  “If you sort this money issue out, yeah, cos...” He lowered his voice to a whisper again, “I really do miss ya, babe. I miss you like crazy.”

  My heart slammed against my chest. “I miss you too, baby. I’ll make this right, I’ll ring Tiana. I’ll call you after I sort things with Dante.”

  “Tomorrow?”

  “No, tonight. I need to do this now before I chicken out.”

  “’Kay, I’ll wait for your call.” He paused for a moment, his voice once more a whisper. “Love you.”

  “Love you too, Joel. Talk to you soon, hopefully with some good news.”

  “I hope so too.” He hung up, leaving me exhaling with relief, his words of love and his willingness to come home turning the night into a world of smiles and possibilities.

  I’m getting my man back!

  I just needed to talk Dante into paying child support first. But before I could call Tiana for advice on how to go about doing that, I needed to deal with the Cleo situation I’d run from. I opened the toilet door and went back into the small, messy lounge, finding it empty. The TV was still on but Cleo was nowhere in sight. I went to her room next, not finding her there either.

  “Cleo!” I called out, wondering where the little miss had gotten to.

  I opened the back door of our flat and stepped outside, spotting her talking to a neighbour over the fence even though it was now dark outside. I closed the distance between us, stiffening at the words coming out of my neighbour’s mouth.

  “I always thought you looked like Dante,” the teenager said to Cleo. Her eyes moved to me. “Hi, Mrs—”

  “Don’t call me Mrs, Grace. You know I don’t like it, makes me feel old,” I said, trying to lighten the tension building inside of me.

  “Lavinia,” Grace corrected herself. “Cleo does look like Dante. Are they related?”

  “He’s a cousin of her father’s,” I said, only Dante was the father and Joel was the cousin.

  Grace’s eyes went big. “Why didn’t you say?! I love Dante! Can you please, please, please get me an autograph?” She started waving her hands about, clearly getting more and more excited, what she was saying not exactly surprising since I’d heard Dante’s music blasting from her flat, a bit too loudly at times, which usually ended in her mum yelling at her to turn it off.

  She continued talking excitedly, “Dante’s so beautiful. I love him so much! These two girls at my school got an autograph from him at his concert. He gave them backstage passes. I would’ve died if I were them. Can you get me a backstage pass?”

  I shook my head. “Sorry, Grace, I haven’t seen him in years,” not since I broke up with him, breaking his heart in the process. I frowned, feeling guilty about that, his reaction an upsetting memory. He’d been in love with me—or had thought he was. I’d been his first girlfriend, the one who’d taken his virginity, and the first to break his heart too. But now he was the heartbreaker of a million girls’ and women’s hearts, a rock star people obsessed over. But all I obsessed over was my dumb lug of a Rastafarian man, who smoked too much weed, earned stuff all money, and commented on women’s breasts right in front of me. Joel’s reading of a woman was more often than not based on how big her mammary glands were, the guy obsessed with breasts. Regardless, I wanted him back and if I had to lie and do a bit of swindling, I would do it to make that happen.

  Grace stuck out her bottom lip, clearly sulking over my reply, making me smile, the gangly girl looking funny.

  “Sorry,” I repeated.

  Cleo grabbed my hand and tugged on it. “Does that mean the rude man is my cousin too if he’s Daddy’s cousin?”

  Yes, Dante was a rude man, had always been rude, even more so than Joel, which was a hard ask. I guessed I went for the rude, bad boy type, both of them fitti
ng that category.

  “Yes,” I said, continuing the lie, knowing it was a good enough one to explain why she looked like him without treading into dangerous waters. “Anyway, we need to have dinner. Plus, you two shouldn’t be outside at this time of night, it’s cold.”

  “Cleo called out to me,” Grace answered, looking sullen.

  “Don’t worry, Grace, I’m not telling you off. Cleo will see you tomorrow.”

  Grace perked back up, giving me a wave before disappearing into her flat, the girl Cleo’s babysitter.

  I took hold of Cleo’s hand and led her through our door, leaving her in front of the telly while I finished making dinner. By the time we’d eaten and I’d gotten her tucked into bed, I was exhausted, both emotionally and physically. But instead of flopping into bed myself, I picked up the phone and dialled Tiana. It rang for a while, finally clicking over to someone yawning.

  “Ash?” Tiana asked, sounding like I’d woken her up. I grimaced, only just realising that it was much later in New Zealand than Australia. I’d been so wound up that I’d completely forgotten.

  “No, it’s Lavinia,” I answered.

  “Lavinia? Why are you calling me so late? It’s almost eleven here.”

  “Yes, sorry, I forgot about the different time zones.”

  “Don’t worry, it’s still nice to hear from you. I wish you’d move back to Auckland. I miss you so much,” Tiana said, sounding emotional.

  “Likewise. Wish I was in Auckland too.”

  “Then move back.”

  “My job—”

  “There are a few prisons here that you can work at.”

  “There’s also Cleo. She’s doing well at her school, loves it there.”

  “She’ll be heading into intermediate next year, so will be leaving it anyway.”

  “They don’t call it intermediate in Australia, she goes straight from primary to high school, and all her friends will be moving to the same school.”

  “She’ll make new friends here, and she can go to the same school as Angelo,” she said, mentioning her child with Dante’s older brother.

  “And what will I tell people when they ask if Cleo and Angelo are twins? Those two look so much alike it’s ridiculous. Ash will also work out that Dante is Cleo’s father,” I said, Ash never having visited, only Tiana. “It’s one reason why I made sure that Joel never sent him any photos of Cleo.”

  Tiana exhaled. “True,” she said, not sounding happy about it. She’d found out quite early on that Cleo was Dante’s, something she hadn’t wanted to hide, only doing it for me. But with my family in Australia and the Ratas in New Zealand, it hadn’t been an issue—until now, and all because of Dante’s rapidly growing fame.

  “Though...” I said, needing to get to the point. “I’m going to tell Dante about Cleo.”

  “What?! Really?”

  “Yes, Joel has had enough of paying child support. He won’t do it anymore.”

  She went quiet for a moment, then came right out with it. “So, this is about money?”

  “Basically.”

  “Lavinia, you can’t spring this on Dante, telling him he has a kid he doesn’t know about, then ask for money. That’s low.”

  “I don’t have a choice!” I said, knowing she was right but unable to do anything about it, Dante’s money the only solution to my problems. “Joel won’t come back unless I get this child support problem fixed. I’ve also got so much debt it’s scary.”

  “Can’t you ask your mum and Joel’s dad for help?”

  “All their cash is tied up with their new business, and come on... Dante’s mega rich. I saw the fancy house he’s living in on the news tonight. If he can afford that he can afford to pay for his daughter, something Joel has been paying for far too long.”

  “That’s not his house, it’s his manager’s, and you do realise that if this gets out you could get into a whole world of trouble? After all, Dante was thirteen when he got you pregnant.”

  “No one needs to find that out, it can just be between Dante and me.”

  “He doesn’t like you, at all. He holds a massive grudge against you for dumping him, so I don’t think he’ll play ball.”

  “That happened years ago, and we were both kids.”

  “Have you heard that Demon in Disguise song of his?”

  “Yeah, it’s a big hit. I actually like it.”

  “You might not now. It’s about you.”

  My eyes widened. “Seriously?!” I said, in shock.

  “Yes, seriously, and I don’t think he’ll be too happy hearing from you, especially if you’re trying to get money outta him.”

  “Cleo’s his child, and he talked me into having sex.”

  “From what you told me, it was mutual. You wanted it as much as he did.”

  I grunted, her words true.

  She continued, “Do you really wanna risk letting him know he has a kid? You have no idea what his reaction will be. He could even demand rights to see Cleo. Also, do ya wanna risk her finding out that Joel isn’t her real father?”

  “Wouldn’t Dante more likely wanna sweep things under the carpet, maybe just pay me to be quiet? I’ve seen those campaigns to kick him off YouTube, and with that scandal involving his guitarist—”

  “That wasn’t Dante,” Tiana said softly, “that was Ash.”

  “Oh, honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that Dante and his band have had one scandal after another, really angering that mothers’ group. I heard they won’t stop until they get him banned from YouTube. They probably wanna put him out of business completely. Still, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Are you and Ash split for good now?”

  “Not if I have any say in the matter. I’ve managed to get him to agree to a talk on Saturday. I’ve told him that Angelo deserves both parents under the same roof. I’ve also made promises to change for him, cos there’s no way on God’s green earth that I’m letting that liar get her hooks into him. L made me a promise that she wouldn’t steal Ash, that she wouldn’t ruin my family, but what does she go and do? Strip for Ash even when he told her to stop, basically seducing him. It was absolutely horrible to watch.”

  My eyebrows winged up. “Are you talking about that viral video?” I asked, something I hadn’t seen, and wouldn’t ever see.

  A soft, “Yes,” answered me.

  “Whoa, Tiana,” I said, surprised she’d watched it. “Why would you put yourself through that? I know I couldn’t if it was Joel.”

  “I needed to know how he felt about L, and...” A sob cut off her words.

  “Oh, honey, don’t cry.”

  “How can I not? He loves her, Lavinia. I could see it in the way he looked at her. And she loves him to the point of obsession. How can I stop this? Stop him from leaving me for L?”

  “Make him see what he’ll lose if he splits up with you. L can’t give him babies...”

  “He doesn’t want any more, he already has two kids.”

  “You still have history with him, so much history that this tramp can’t compete with. Make him see that.”

  “I’ll try, it’s just... I’m so scared. I only just got him back last year. I never wanted to be apart in the first place, I only left cos his drug dealing was endangering Angelo, but he’s not doing that anymore. He’s on the straight and narrow, working legit jobs. Everything was going good until he insisted on raising his ex’s baby—”

  “It’s his baby too, and it’s not like it should’ve been an issue. That woman’s dead. You should’ve just raised the child as your own like Joel did with Cleo.”

  “Would you have done the same for Joel if he brought another woman’s baby into your home, asking you to raise it with him?”

  “Yes, cos I love Joel. I’d also know it would be a deal breaker if I didn’t.”

  “You’re making me feel worse,” Tiana sobbed.

  “I didn’t mean to, you made a mistake being standoffish with Lily,” I said, mentioning Ash’s daughter, “but you c
ame around, putting things right. I remember you telling me about it.”

  “Ash said it was too little too late, and he’s right, I should’ve looked after that little girl like she was my own from the get go. If I had, there wouldn’t have been such a chasm created, and moving to East Auckland made everything worse. I may love the area, but we can’t afford it. I drove him to exhaustion trying to pay for the mortgage. Put that on top of how I acted around Lily, and it made everything unbearable for him. It’s my fault he turned to L. I left the door wide open for her to take advantage of him, and she did take advantage. If anything, I don’t blame him for giving into her. I ruined our relationship. He left me cos of it, then she goes and strips, seducing him. He’s only a man, any man would want her. She looks unreal, like those pictures the comic book people draw of fantasy women, an Elfin princess warrior.”

  “An Elfin princess warrior?” I asked, refraining from laughing at the description.

  “You must’ve seen how she looks, she’s plastered all over the tabloids. She’s absolutely stunning. It’s a testament to Ash’s character that he held out for so long.”

  I cut her off, “Tiana, honey, don’t put all the blame on yourself. He should’ve been more open to you. He’s always been a closed book, never letting you know if something’s wrong until he loses his temper, then all hell breaks loose.”

  “He does do that. He ignores me when he’s mad, then loses his shit when I try to work things out. He’s always been a hard man to live with, but I love him, and I can’t just let L take him from me. At least they aren’t on good terms at the moment. I need to get him back before L tries to make up with him, cos if I don’t, I could lose him forever, and I can’t handle that.”

  “Then fight for him, Tiana, like I’m fighting for Joel, which is why I need to tell Dante about Cleo.”

  “Even at your daughter’s expense?”

  “It won’t be at Cleo’s expense if Dante agrees to gimme some child support, it’ll benefit her. Joel will also return. That’ll benefit her too. She misses him immensely.”

  “And what happens if Dante wants to see Cleo? How will you explain that to Cleo, telling her he’s her real dad? Also, he was underage when you two—”