Her Unbridled Cowboy (Harland County Series)
Page 18
Connor hovered nearby, and when she finally glanced at the brooding cowboy, he opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it and headed outside to the moving van.
“Yes,” Lance replied. “As a matter of fact, I am thirsty. Thank you.”
Kerri nodded. “Then come with me.”
As she led the way to the deserted kitchen, she couldn’t help but wonder about Connor’s strange behavior. They hadn’t really spoken since he’d slammed the door of her apartment, angry and hateful. Yet today, he seemed…different.
Instinctively grabbing Lance a bottle of water, she had to hold back a laugh. It was official. She was losing it. Yep, her head needed major examination. Here she was, meeting with her cheating ex-husband for the first time since their divorce, and her mind was on the unbridled cowboy.
“Thanks, Kerri, and thanks for agreeing to see me,” Lance said, regaining her full attention. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for two years now.”
Oh crud. Not yet. Nerves tightened her chest in a choke hold. She held up her hand. “Not here. Finish your drink, then we’ll get out of here and go somewhere private.”
Understanding warmed his gaze as he nodded.
Wonderful. That bought her a small reprieve. Maybe she could figure out a way to loosen the stranglehold in her chest enough to allow easier breathing. Wouldn’t that be great?
She waited while he finished his drink in strained silence, and when he was done, they headed for her car. Whatever it was he had to say to her, it was not going to happen on Wild Creek.
Since it was Sunday, Kerri knew there was no work being done on the restaurant, so she figured it was a good spot. There was no way she’d take him to the apartment, though. Just the restaurant, and then the airport to catch his eight o’clock return flight.
The twenty minute car ride gave them a chance to talk pleasantries, and he inquired about Jordan and Cole. Happy to talk about her sister’s relationship and not theirs, Kerri briefly told him their long history, some of which he’d already known.
Then he asked about Connor. Kerri hesitated slightly, and he must have picked up on it.
“Do you like him?”
Can you say awkward?
Kerri could. And she could spell it, too. Backwards, even.
She cleared her throat. “Sure. I-I’ve known him all my life.” Yeah, nothing like discussing her feelings for Connor with her ex-husband. Priceless.
“That’s not what I meant,” he said quietly.
Yeah, well…too bad. She pulled into the parking lot and parked before facing him.
“Look, Lance, Jordan said you had something to say to me, so let’s not waste time discussing Connor. Okay?” She got out of the car without waiting for his reply.
Rude? Yeah, but she was entitled, dammit. Unlocking the front door to the restaurant, she stepped inside and flicked on the lights.
“Wow, Kerri, this is great,” Lance said, voice full of enthusiasm.
Her pulse, admittedly, sped up at the sight of her restaurant starting to take shape. “Yeah, you think so?” She smiled as she looked around at the finished wooden paneled walls and wooden floors. “It’s hard to believe that in little more than a month this place will be open for business.”
“I have no doubt you and Jordan will make a success out of it. I’m just sorry Comets was destroyed. I know you two did well there.” Emotions darkened his expression. “I’m so glad you’re both okay. I nearly died when I saw it on the news.”
He drew in a breath and looked like he wanted to hug her.
Oh, Lordy. No. She wasn’t ready for that, so she moved to a table in the corner and dusted off two chairs for them before sitting down.
Lance joined her, and she noticed his hand shaking as he struggled for somewhere to start. Her throat jumped on the tight bandwagon her chest had going on. Dang. Her heart went out to him despite herself. He’d been a dear friend and a jerk only that once in the seven years she’d known him before the divorce. She couldn’t just sit back and watch him suffer, so she made it easier for him by starting the conversation.
“Jordan encouraged me to meet with you.”
He blew out a breath and looked up at her. “I’m glad she did, Kerri. I needed to try to explain to you about what happened.”
Okay. I can do this.
Part of her wanted to run, and the other part wanted to hear it. The latter won. She remained where she was and sat nervously waiting for him to continue.
“Kerri, I swear I never meant to hurt you. You’ve got to believe that.”
A troubled green gaze bore into hers, looking, searching…hoping. It hurt, but she knew he was telling the truth. When she nodded, he went on.
“I loved you, hell…I still do, but I should never have married you. I see that now. I always felt…odd inside, but didn’t know what that meant.”
What could she say to that? Nothing, so she remained quiet. And hurting.
He shot to his feet and began to pace as his confession spilled from his lips. “My mother was pressuring me to marry and have kids, and since I already loved you, I thought we could make it work. And we did for awhile. It wasn’t until Ian got hired as manager that I started to understand why I had felt different all those years.” He paused to take a deep breath, then he looked at her. “Kerri, I was wrong. I know that now. I should’ve told you, but I just didn’t know how, and by not doing that the unthinkable happened.” He closed his eyes and shuddered.
Tears streamed down her face as she found her voice. “Yes, Lance, you should have. What did you think I was going to do? I mean, sure, I would’ve been devastated, but at least you could’ve explained things, and I would’ve been spared walking in on you.”
Closing her eyes, she shuddered, recalling the devastating moment her life had irrevocably changed. The moment her husband had forsaken her for another. For a man. She opened her eyes and stood, hugging herself in an attempt to keep the pain and humiliation from reaching the surface. “Do you have any idea what that did to me, Lance?”
He stepped closer. “Kerri, I’m so sorry. You’re right. I should have, and if I had it to do over, I swear I would’ve told you. I swear it.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him.
Misery lived in his eyes, darkening, haunting, eating at him, and she realized she wasn’t the only one who’d spent the last two years in wretchedness. A fresh round of tears trickled down her face. He wiped them away.
“I’m sorry.”
She sniffed. “I thought that you…that you went looking in the opposite direction because I was doing something wrong,” Kerri confessed haltingly, and felt some of the tightness loosen around her chest.
“Oh, God, Kerri, no. I am so sorry.”
He hugged her then. Hugged her tight, and she hugged back, letting the pain out. Freeing it. And in doing so, she realized all the pain she felt wasn’t for the loss of her husband. It was for the loss of her best friend.
It still felt good to be embraced by him, but it lacked something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
After a minute, he pulled away slightly to look her straight in the eyes. “Listen to me, Kerri. You did absolutely nothing wrong! Do you hear me? You did nothing wrong. It wasn’t you. It really was all me,” he told her firmly and waited until she nodded. “By not understanding my confusion, I hurt and lost you. You were my best friend...and I miss you,” he said, voice cracking. “And I’m so, so sorry. I hope you believe me.”
His gaze was troubled, but earnest. She knew him to be telling the truth, so she squeezed his arm. “I’ve missed you, too, Lance. And I’m sorry you had to go through all that by yourself. I only wish you would have confided in me.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “God, so do I, but I think subconsciously I was fighting it.”
Not much she could say to that, so she remained quiet.
“I hope, somehow, some day, we can still be friends,” he said, straightening to look into her eyes.
“I can do that.” He pushed her hair behind her shoulder.
She smiled at the familiar gesture, and felt a lightness around her heart for the first time in years. “Good.”
He smiled.
“So,” she began, a little curious about his life. “Are you and Ian still together?”
A guarded expression fell across his face. “Yes.”
“Are you happy?”
He studied her a moment, as if trying to decide if he should answer. Apparently, he must’ve seen something in her gaze because he nodded. “Yes.”
Surprisingly, the news didn’t hurt. So she smiled. “Good, I’m glad.” And found she really meant it.
“Thank you, Kerri, for hearing me out.”
They stood there and hugged for a few minutes before finally breaking away.
“So,” he said, holding her hands. “What about you?”
She frowned. “What about me?”
“Do you want to talk about…what was his name, Connor?”
Heck no. Cripes, especially with him. “No.” She managed a small smile. “I don’t.”
“Well, take it from someone who knows,” Lance said. “That man was looking at you as if he’d just lost something special.”
Kerri reeled back and stared at her ex. “I-I doubt it. He doesn’t go for city girls, and besides, me with a cowboy?” She shook her head and let loose with another small laugh.
But Lance knew her too well. Green eyes stared unblinkingly at her. “He is yours for the taking. And why not a cowboy? You were always a little reckless.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You.” He laughed outright. “You, who used to add certain ingredients to your recipes behind the teacher’s back.”
She shrugged, holding back a grin. “Yeah well, that teacher did rave about my quiche as I recall.”
They laughed, a good laugh. Genuine. And just like that, she took an unrestricted breath, and her first step toward healing.
“Now.” He dropped an arm around her shoulder and looked around. “Tell me about this new restaurant of yours.”
“Did you apologize to Kerri yet?”
Connor glanced at Cole as they unloaded what was left of the van into the rented storage bay. “No,” he replied, going back for another box.
“Do you think it’s wise to let it go any longer?” his brother asked, passing by with his hands full.
No. And he didn’t think it was wise for his brother to pester him like a little girl about it, either.
“There hasn’t been a right time yet,” he grumbled instead.
Cole chuckled. “Oh, bro, anytime is the right time to apologize to a woman. You should know that by now,” his brother proclaimed, joining him inside the van.
“Yeah, well, I’ll apologize soon.” Picking up the last box, he made a mental promise to seek Kerri out and apologize this week.
Maybe even today. If she was up to more company after the cheater from the coast left town.
With determination pushing away his uncertainty, Connor deposited the last box on the pile and looked around. “I’m glad Jordan sold her furniture or we’d be here another hour.”
Cole laughed. “Yes, I know. I think I married a pack-rat.”
His brother pulled the door down on the bay and locked it, while Connor did the same to the van. His mind strayed to Kerri. Again. He wondered how she was doing.
God, she’d looked so frail, so fragile back at the ranch. He’d wanted to grab her hand, pull her close and reassure her everything would be all right. Wipe away her uncertainty. Protect her from…
From what?
Ah hell. He shook his head, rubbing at the ache in his chest. He was just as guilty of causing her pain. Of dulling the light in her beautiful brown eyes.
“Okay,” Cole said, slapping him on the back. “I just need to drop off the van.”
Happy to have something to do, Connor climbed in his truck and followed his brother to the designated drop off in town. It would be great if he could turn off his thoughts. Shut them down. Run on automatic. Then there would be no reason for his mind to shift to a certain sexy, cook.
God, he wished he knew what the hell it was Kerri’s ex wanted to talk to her about.
He stiffened.
What if the guy wanted her back?
After all, his green eyes had been full of affection for Kerri.
Damn. That had to be it. The ache in Connor’s chest intensified. Her ex must want her back. Why else would the guy drive someone else’s belongings across four states?
He didn’t have time to contemplate anymore, thank God, because his brother came out of the building.
“Thanks, bro,” Cole said, getting into the cab. “Do you mind going down the road to the restaurant? I promised Jordan I’d check on the building while we were out this way.”
“Sure. No problem,” he replied, careful to keep the gloom from his voice.
He had no right to feel that way, but he did. Okay, he had the right to feel lousy, but not worthy. It wasn’t like he even had a chance with Kerri. And it didn’t matter if he did. She wasn’t sticking around.
As he pulled into the parking lot, Connor realized the whole point was mute. His jaw clenched tight. Kerri and Lance were laughing as they walked out of the restaurant.
Chapter Fourteen
“Sorry, bro.” Cole sighed, glancing sideways at him. “I didn’t know she was coming here, honest. I thought she was going to drive him straight up to Houston to catch his return flight.”
“Not a problem,” Connor lied, angling his truck so the passenger door faced the happy couple.
Cole rolled down his window as Kerri approached. The closer she got, the more Connor noticed a change in her. She looked relaxed. Peaceful.
Happier.
It felt as if someone lodged their fist in his throat, via his stomach.
She smiled, placing her hand on the door to peer in. “What’s up, guys?”
“Jordan asked me to check on the place, but I didn’t realize you were coming here,” Cole replied. “Sorry to intrude.”
“You’re not intruding,” she said, turning to wave at the building. “I figured it was a good place for privacy, but we’re done now. We’re going to head to Houston. Feel free to look about.”
God, her face, her smile…they were radiant, and Connor couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“Lance, I’d like to thank you for driving the truck here from California. My wife and I appreciate it,” Cole said, sticking his hand out the window to shake the man’s hand.
“No problem. And, thank you. I appreciate the opportunity to talk to Kerri,” Slick Dick replied. “And congratulations, again. Jordan is a real gem.”
“I know.” His brother nodded. “I’m very lucky.”
The Californian slung a damn arm around Kerri and grinned. Like he had the right to touch her. Deserved to touch her. Well, he didn’t. Damn it! He deserved Connor’s fist upside his cheating head. Twice.
The damn man cheated on her. Forsook her.
“Kerri is a gem, as well,” Lance-can’t-keep-it-in-his-pants remarked, looking pointedly at Connor. “Worth any risk.”
Well, hell. Did he just... His heart slammed against his ribs. Hard. Connor transferred his gaze to Kerri whose face rapidly turned pink.
“Okay, so, ah…time to go,” she said, pulling her ex away from the truck. “Got a plane to catch. Bye.”
“Bye.” Cole waved, until Kerri pulled out of the parking lot. Then he slowly turned to Connor. “Holy shit, bro. Kerri’s ex-husband just gave you the go ahead to date his former wife.”
Son-of-a-bitch…if Connor had gotten that same message.
Tuesday evening, Kerri shut off her stove, intent on taking a break from perfecting her chili for the upcoming cook off. Foster’s Creamery was open. And their ice cream was calling. Loudly. She’d slaved f
or two hours on this particular batch, and had high hopes. This could be the recipe she entered next month.
So, now was a good time to venture across the street and down the boardwalk to fetch an ice cream cone. Or, better yet, a pint.
It would give her chili a chance to sit and cool and stew, allow it to marinate and soak up all the flavors from the spices she added.
And Kerri the chance to feed her sadly neglected chocolate addiction.
Slipping into her jacket as she opened the door, Kerri nearly jumped out of her skin when she found Connor standing there, hand raised as if to knock.
“Hey,” he said, recovering first.
Placing a hand to her pounding chest, she nodded. “Hey, yourself. You scared me.”
“Sorry, darlin’. Didn’t mean to.”
She shook her head. This was becoming routine. “It’s okay. Is something wrong?”
“No…well, yeah. I wanted to say I was sorry about the other night. And I brought a peace offering.” His mouth twitched into a slight grin as he brought his arm out from behind him.
Ice cream. Foster’s ice cream. A pint. Of chocolate. Glory be, he’d read her mind. Or taste buds.
She smiled and stood aside. “In that case, come in.”
She’d wanted to talk to him, too. Ever since her conversation with Jordan last week, Kerri had been meaning to call the cowboy, or drop by the ranch…or something. Thanks to her sister enlightening her on the role she’d played that disastrous night, Kerri owed the man an apology. Between working on the chili, perfecting her menu, and trying to cook up the courage, time had gotten away from her. So, now, was good.
Besides, he had chocolate ice cream. Foster’s chocolate ice cream. She’d let a pack of wolves in if they had chocolate.
He nodded and walked in.
Hiding a snicker, she hung up her coat then followed the cowboy into her slightly messy kitchen.
“Mmm…smells good in here,” he said, setting the offering on the island while he shed his coat and hat on a nearby stool.