“Gasp! What is my Kaylie-belle doing up this bright and early?” she teased, holding the cup of coffee just out of reach. “I usually have to drag your butt out of bed. Have you been holding out on me all this time? Waking up while I am out and about bright and early so you can get alone time and then feigning sleep when I get back?”
“Of course not! Whatever could possibly have woken me up from a deep sleep? I’ll give you one guess with just a little clue. Her name rhymes with Tasha and she lives right next door.”
“Shut up!” Charlotte said, handing me one of the cups. “What did I miss?”
“You are not going to believe this, but she and Jackson Silver were in the middle of a shouting match about Sasha trying to break up Drake and Alexa,” I said before taking a big gulp of my coffee.
“For real? Did ya eavesdrop shamelessly?” she asked “Please, please, please make my day and say that you did. I’d love to have been a fly on the wall for that one. Ooooh, I bet that Jackson put Sasha in her place super fast. He’s always struck me as the kind of guy who wouldn’t take crap from anyone. C’mon now. Spill!”
“Gee, I don’t know. Are you sure you’re really interested? ‘Cause I couldn’t really tell, gossip girl,” I teased while I reached for the bag to peek inside, but Charlotte held it just out of reach.
“Ah, ah, ah. Sharing is a two-way street. You know, I was fixin’ to share these yummy cranberry muffins with you since they’re your favorite, but if you can’t be bothered to spill the sordid details from this morning’s escapade, then I just might have to eat them all myself.”
“Like I wasn’t going to tell you anyway. No need to bribe me, but seriously. Hand them over or else. If I’m not going to get a good night’s sleep, then at least I can start my day out right,” I answered with my hand held out for the bag, which was a good thing because she tossed it at my head. I managed to grab it before the muffins spilled out and pulled one out to munch on as I continued. “Thanks for these. They will make the day almost bearable.”
“Ummm, hello? I don’t want your gratitude. I want my story, and I want it now! That boy's so bad he whups his own ass twice a week. I bet Sasha would have been shakin’ in her boots if she had any.”
“I know she’s not your favorite person, Char, but Jackson was royally pissed at her. He is not the kind of guy I would want to cross, and she wasn’t making things any better for herself. Although he was cool about me insisting that I wasn’t going to leave them alone until he was ready to leave.”
“Whoa there. Hold up a second. Are you telling me you went next door to interrupt their argument?” Charlotte asked.
“I know, I know, but I had to do it. I just went over expecting to ask them to keep it down, but then Jackson made a joke about me being a little girl, and what was I supposed to do then? He irritated me, and Sasha looked like she could use some support. So I stayed, but believe me when I say that I wish I hadn’t.”
“Why? What happened?” Charlotte asked as she plopped down onto her bed across from me.
“Nothing much, really. He yelled at her. She whined. He tried to make sure she wouldn’t hurt Alexa again. She blamed it all on him, his screwing her over after they had sex and the fact that he’s really in love with Alexa. Then he made it very clear that she pretty much was just an easy lay for him, and Sasha argued that it must have meant something to him. When she finally got the message, Sasha agreed to leave them alone. Jackson flirted with me a bit as he was leaving, and then she was a bitch to me and warned me away from him before slamming the door on me on my way out,” I blurted out as quickly as possible while hoping that Charlotte wouldn’t pounce on the bit about Jackson flirting with me.
“What?” she shrieked. “You went over there to help her out and Sasha had the nerve to slam the door on you? I swear she’s one fry short of a Happy Meal, that girl. And you wonder why I don’t like her that much. Well there you go. She’s an ungrateful bitch. It would totally serve her right if you started dating Jackson and she was forced to see the two of you together living next door to us and all.”
“Yeah, she’s an ungrateful bitch, but you can be a vengeful one so I’m glad you’re on my side and not hers,” I teased as Charlotte rubbed her hands together like she was plotting something. Usually when that happened, it didn’t bode well for someone else.
“So when you said that Jackson flirted with you, what did he say? Did he seem interested, or was it ‘let me get in your panties’ for a bit type of flirting?”
“Char, stop! I am so not going to go there. It’s pointless because you and I both know he doesn’t do relationships. And as sexy as he might be, he just isn’t my type,” I protested.
“Oh, please. Jackson Silver is every girl’s type. That’s why he’s been able to go through so many girls on campus. Can you honestly sit there and tell me that he doesn’t make your panties the teeniest bit wet?”
I held my hand up to interrupt her flow of thought before she got going any further. “Jesus, Char! Fine, yes, I will admit he’s hot. But he’s super intense, doesn’t do anything but super-quick hook-ups, and based on what I overheard between him and Sasha, I don’t think we would be a good match in bed.”
“It’s not like your relationships last that long anyway. And you always pick safe guys so you don’t risk getting hurt too much. Maybe you need to go out with someone more like Jackson, even if it’s not him. A guy who will challenge you a little bit, who won’t let you dictate the pace of your relationship. One who won’t let you get away with keeping him at arm’s length,” Charlotte said before hopping out of her bed and climbing into mine with me. “I worry about you. We’re graduating soon, and I won’t be there to make sure that you pick well if you wait to really fall for someone once we’re gone.”
I wrapped my arms around her as I realized that she was really worried about me. “I love you too, Char. No matter how far apart from each other we end up, I promise that you will get the chance to give me the thumbs up or down on guys, okay? But I really worry about your choices if you think that Jackson would be considered picking well. You don’t even know anything about him except that he’s hot and intense.”
She looked at me, her green eyes narrowed on mine as she replied. “I know more than that, Kaylie. He’s someone who managed to get a rise out of you, you think he’s hot even if you won’t admit it, and it would piss Sasha off. I get that the third reason isn’t a good one, but the first two work for me. Add in that his sister is pretty awesome from what you’ve said about her when you talked about helping Aubrey out in the dance class you’re taking together and he can’t be all that bad.”
“Except that he’s a man-whore!” I protested.
“And my mama always said that reformed rakes make the best husbands. Hell, look at Shane. He was a huge player in high school before he met me our senior year, and he settled right down and into a long-distance relationship when I decided to come here for school. He’d like nothing more than to put his ring on my finger, and nobody would have ever expected it of him four years ago,” Charlotte argued.
I stopped to consider the point she was making, and it was a good one. Just because a guy played around a lot didn’t mean that when he really fell for a girl he wouldn’t be able to be faithful. If anything, maybe at our age it would make him more likely to be able to not cheat since he’d already been with so many other women and worked it out of his system. But that didn’t mean that Jackson Silver was the guy for me, and I wasn’t even looking for Mr. Right in my life. Maybe a Mr. Right Now, but not a forever guy. Charlotte was relentless when she was trying to make a point though. Better to deflect the conversation now or spend the rest of the semester with her trying to catch Jackson for me.
“I hear what you’re saying, and if I meet a guy like that who’s totally into me, I promise to at least consider giving him a chance. But I am really glad you mentioned Shane and a ring. Do you think he’s going to pop the question over Christmas break? Because as you pointed out to me
, we are graduating soon, and I’m sure he’s hoping that you’ll be ready to come back home and become Mrs. Shane Sorenson.”
She flopped down onto my pillows and tossed her right arm over her face, covering her eyes. “Ugh! I just don’t know. I love Shane, I really do. But do I really want to take my brand-new college degree back to the middle of nowhere in Tennessee and hope that my parents will use some of my ideas to market the bar while Shane’s training horses at his dad’s place?”
“You know your parents will listen to your ideas. They might not use them all, but they pushed for you to go away to college so you could spread your wings a bit,” I reminded her.
“I know,” she sighed. “I guess I just pictured something different for my future than the same life in a small town that my parents have.”
“Then tell Shane that. Give him a chance to give you the something different that you’re dreaming of. He worships the ground you walk on. Are you ready to walk away and give him up?”
“No! I can’t picture my life without him in it,” she protested. “We didn’t survive four years of college and a long-distance relationship only for me to dump him when I graduate. I just need to figure out what I want. But I hate the thought of him making any more sacrifices to be with me.”
“You both made sacrifices to be together,” I reminded her. “You’ve missed out on lots of things here because you have a boyfriend waiting at home for you. Don’t forget that. Plus, he’s the one who pushed for you guys to stay together when you left.”
“You’re right. I just wish I was happier about going home is all,” Charlotte worried. “I really am looking forward to being closer to Shane. I’m just not excited about going back to small-town life.”
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s not like you’re living life in the fast lane up here, Char. Things can’t be that much different on campus than they are back home. You’ve got the same gossip mill, and the campus is about the size of your town.”
“True. I guess it’s just that I dreamed of getting out, and now I’m going back right away. It’s hard to explain.”
As much as I loved Char, it was kind of hard to hear her complain about an option I would kill to have. “I hear what you’re saying, but just remember how lucky you are to have a home, parents who will support any decision you make, and great guy to go back to when you graduate. I have no idea what I’m going to do or where I’m going to go. It’s not like moving back in with my aunt is even an option since I’m an adult now.”
“Oh, Kaylie. I’m such a whiny bitch! Ignore me. I’ll figure out what I want soon enough, and you know that you are always welcome back home with me, too. My parents would love to have you while you’re trying to decide between all the offers you know you’re going to get! They can’t wait to see you during break.”
I chuckled in response to her enthusiasm. She wasn’t exaggerating either. Her parents would absolutely let me stay with them while I was trying to decide what to do next. Although I doubted she was right about me getting offers to dance professionally. My decision to attend college at my parents’ alma mater might come back to bite me in the ass when it came to that. But it had been worth it to spend four years feeling closer than ever to them.
CHAPTER 2
Jackson
I’d never been happier for Christmas break in my life. Going to college in my hometown meant I could always do a quick laundry run or grab a home-cooked meal at my house. It also meant that breaks didn’t seem so special since it was just a short drive home, but this time was different. I needed some space to come to terms with what I’d lost. Hell, what I had basically thrown away due to my own damn stupidity if I was being completely honest with myself.
I’d always assumed that there would be plenty of time for Lex and me to become a couple. It never fucking crossed my mind that she’d find someone else before I’d realized she was ready for a relationship again. She’d spent two years commuting to and from class while living at home with her dad, barely hitting the school’s social scene unless Aubrey had dragged her to something.
So what had I done with that time while she had been healing? I’m a guy—I’d enjoyed myself while she hadn’t been around. She wasn’t my girlfriend yet, so I’d figured I would sow my wild oats before I tied myself to Lex. And I’d had a lot of oats to sow. I’d enjoyed myself, playing the field and pretty much trying anything and everything. It never ceased to amaze me what girls were willing to do to grab a guy’s attention. I wanted to get it out of my system so that I could be a good husband and father like my dad. I’d worked damn hard at it too, blowing my way through a lot of chicks on campus while waiting for Lex to come around.
Then Lex’s dad convinced her that she needed to get the full college experience, and she moved into the dorm with my sister. I knew it was the first step and made sure I stopped messing around because I didn’t want my escapades to blow back on her. And I sure as hell didn’t want Lex to think I was with some other girl when she was ready to date again.
I thought that I had it all planned out. I knew that my sister would make it easy for me, and I was right. When she asked me if they could come to the first frat party of the school year, I jumped at the chance to hang out with Lex. I knew she wouldn’t be very excited about a frat party, so I decided to steal her away to my room to watch movies, letting her think that I was rescuing her when I really just wanted her all to myself before my frat brothers got too close of a look at her.
I guess I wasn’t fast enough since Drake saw her when we went to grab one last beer before heading upstairs. Even in the middle of his argument with Sasha, I knew he had noticed her, and I made sure he thought she was mine already. And I sure as shit didn’t introduce the two of them after I’d seen her checking him out. I let Lex think whatever she wanted when she wondered why I hadn’t introduced them to each other, half hoping she’d assume he was a douche and stay away from him. What I hadn’t counted on was Drake’s booking a flight with her dad and her going along as co-pilot. Or his deciding to chase after her hard once he’d realized that she wasn’t my girl. And certainly not her falling for him so hard and fast that the next time I saw her she was already out of my reach.
I wanted to blame Drake, but it was my own damn fault that I hadn’t moved faster. I’d wasted time on girls whose names I didn’t even remember the next morning instead of making it clear to Lex that I wanted her for my own. I wanted to be pissed at Lex for falling for Drake, but how could I when she was so disgustingly happy? She looked at him in a way that she never had me, and I needed to deal with the fact that she’d only ever seen me as her big brother. And that was what this break was going to be all about for me—taking time to adjust to a future without her in it as anything other than my friend and unofficial part of the family.
I pulled my truck into the driveway and was happy to see that I’d beat Aubrey home. She was bummed that Lex wasn’t going to be around much this break and didn’t understand why I wasn’t pissed that our holiday traditions were going to change now that Lex was going to be out of town with Drake’s family. I figured that she knew something was up with how I’d looked at Lex and how I’d reacted to her and Drake, but she sure as shit wasn’t going to bring it up to me. And there was no way in hell I was going to talk to my little sister about this. She would freak out at the idea that she could have had Lex as her sister-in-law. Then she’d be totally bummed that it wasn’t going to happen before finally swinging back to being thrilled that Lex was so happy with Drake.
I walked into the house, happy to have a little bit of time to myself, but then I saw my dad waiting inside. I knew he was going to have questions about how I felt about Lex and Drake, but I wasn't sure that I was ready to answer them. I loved my dad. Don't get me wrong. But I hadn't come to terms with how I was gonna handle everything later. I wasn't ready to answer questions yet.
My dad walked up to me and pulled me into a big bear hug. I allowed myself a moment to just enjoy my dad's closen
ess before I backed away to look him in the eyes.
“Hey, Dad,” I said as he smiled at me. I could see the concern in his expression.
“Jackson?” he asked cautiously. “You doing okay?”
I looked down at the floor, not ready for him to see all of my feelings I’m sure were showing on my face. Most people couldn't read my emotions very easily, but my dad nailed it every single time. “Yeah, Dad. I'm fine,” I answered. There was a pause, and my dad didn't say anything, so I glanced back up at him. I just needed some time to wrap my head around the fact that Lex was gone.
“It'll be okay. I promise, son. You know that I love Lex like my own daughter, and your mom and I would've been thrilled to have her as a daughter-in-law. We saw the way you started to look at her after everything fell apart with Brad, and I’ll admit that we would have loved it if you guys became a couple. That being said, I need to be blunt because I think you need to hear this.”
“Dad,” I interrupted, “I’m not really ready to talk about it yet.”
“I don’t want you to say anything. I just want you to listen and think about this while you’re working it all out in your head. I know you feel like you love her, and you probably do. But I'm just not sure that it’s the type of love you think it is.”
“You don’t know that!”
“Jackson, you aren’t the most patient person in the world. You know that. And yet you waited two years for Lex to come around to the idea of dating again. If your feelings really ran deep, I don’t know that you could have waited that long without doing anything about it. I’m sorry if what I am saying sounds harsh, but you need to think about whether or not your guilt over everything that happened just made you see her in a different light or if you really wanted her that way. Because, son, believe me when I say that when you meet the right one, you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt. And I don’t think you’re the type of guy who would spend a couple years messing around with other girls when she’s right there in front of you.”
Hit the Wall (Blythe College) Page 2
