I got the point my dad was trying to make, but right now he was just pissing me off. “Just stop right there, Dad. I’m not going to let you discount what I feel for Lex and what it means that she’s with Drake now.”
“That’s not what I am trying to do here, son. Maybe it’s too early for you. I get that you need time to figure this out on your own. Just promise me that you’ll think about what I’ve said while you’re doing that, okay?”
“Sure, Dad. Whatever,” I said, barely able to stop myself from rolling my eyes at him.
“So, awkward change of subject here, but I figured you might need to blow off some steam so I called the dojo to see if they needed any help. Sensei would appreciate it if you can help teach a few classes this week.”
“Great. I think I’ll just grab my stuff and head over there then. I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff I can do to help out if there isn’t a class going right away,” I said before heading upstairs to grab my karate bag.
I might not have been happy to hear what my dad had had to say, but he had really helped me out by setting things up for me to hang out at the dojo. It had always been the place I went to clear my mind. A lot of people didn’t get how fighting brought me peace. But karate wasn’t about the fighting to me as much as it was about self-control, focus, and discipline. And I could really use that focus right about now.
I knew it was going to be a rough couple weeks, but I hadn’t expected to be blindsided this early by that conversation with my dad. I’d hoped that he had already talked to my mom and we could all just enjoy this break without everyone asking me a bunch of questions about my feelings and shit. My time at the dojo was just what I needed to center me.
I spent a few hours teaching classes and loved the look on the faces of the kids when I would show them a new move. It reminded me of when my dad started bringing me to class when I was little. It was crazy to think that now the kids watched me and hoped they would one day be able to do the same moves.
After the class, I had the dojo all to myself and was able to run through some katas before I headed back home. As I began each kata, I took a single deep breath to clear out my mind and calm my nerves. Sensei had taught me that the kata should be regarded as a moving meditation of sorts. I envisioned that my imaginary opponents were real and used enough force so that every strike within the form could be a finishing one. By the time I was done, I was sweating bullets and breathing heavily.
When I got back home and pulled into the driveway, I parked my truck behind Aubrey’s car, ready for a quick escape if I needed it. As I walked into the house, I could hear my sister in the kitchen with Mom. It smelled like dinner was almost ready, but I needed to squeeze a shower in before joining everyone, so I headed straight upstairs before saying hello. I’d never make it out of the kitchen in time with both of them in there.
I tossed my bag into the laundry room, figuring that my mom would clean up my gi if I left it there for her. Strolling into my bathroom, I blasted the water as hot as I could make it before stripping out of my clothes and jumping into the steam. Leaning my head under the water, I just stood there for a moment, enjoying the heat that wrapped around me.
Images of Lex over the last couple of years played through my mind, and I couldn’t help but wonder if my dad was right. Had I been able to wait so patiently because I’d been wrong about what I’d been feeling? It wasn’t like when I had been banging those other chicks that I’d been thinking about her either. Could I have been totally wrong all this time? Was that why it had been so easy for me to help Drake realize how badly he’d fucked up when they got into their fight? I hadn’t even thought twice about setting him straight about her. If I’d really wanted her for myself, wouldn’t it have at least crossed my mind to not say a word and watch their relationship implode?
I shook my head, trying to get the images and questions out of my head. The last thing I needed before heading back down for dinner was to seem like I was worried about something. My mom would see it and act like a shark smelling blood in the water. It was time to paste on a happy face and fake it so she wouldn’t know how much this was on my mind. That little talk with my dad had already been bad enough. I definitely wanted to avoid having a similar one with my mom.
Everyone was getting ready to sit down to dinner by the time I made it back downstairs. It was only the four of us since both of my older brothers were celebrating the holidays with their wives’ families. All of my favorites were on the table, a sure sign that my mom already knew something was up. She’d always used food for comfort. It was a goddamn miracle that neither Aubrey nor I had been fat growing up. I guess it was a lucky thing that our dad had kept us busy enough to work off all the calories our mom had given us.
I pulled out my mom’s chair, helping her get settled. “Hey, Mom,” I said as I leaned down to kiss her cheek.
“Hi, baby boy,” she smiled up at me. “So happy to have you home for break.”
Yes, my mom was big on nicknames and still liked to call me her baby. It didn’t matter how often I tried to remind her that I was bigger than her. She’d just remind me that she’d carried me for nine months and would always remember me as small as I was when I was born with a sappy-as-shit look on her face. So I didn’t bother saying anything anymore and let it pass, shaking my head as I walked over to my chair.
Aubrey was practically bouncing in her seat with excitement. “Only four more days until Christmas! I can’t wait to make cookies and go shopping and see what amazing presents you got me this year!”
My dad chuckled at her enthusiasm. “Presents? I don’t remember buying any gifts for you this year. Are you sure you weren’t on the naughty list this year?” he teased.
“Oh, please, Daddy. Like Mom would let you do the shopping. You just haven’t seen the credit card bills yet, but I am sure she picked me out something fabulous like she always does. But don’t worry. You’ll still get lots of hugs and kisses from me as a thank-you.”
And that was my sister, buttering up our dad and laying the groundwork for extra gifts. How could he not run out and pick up something for her himself after that comment? She had him wrapped around her little finger and knew how to work him almost as well as our mom did.
I listened to their conversation flow around me, tossing in a comment here and there while watching the clock, ready for dinner to be over. I felt my mom and dad’s concerned glances several times through the night. Aubrey chattered on, drawing their attention away each time. I knew my sister was a talker, but this was a bit much even for her. Which confirmed the fact that they all knew about my feelings for Lex and were worried. So much for a quiet break where I could get my head screwed back on right without anyone asking questions. Fuck!
CHAPTER 3
Kaylie
I loved bartending at the campus bar, The Rooster’s Nest. Of course, nobody called it by the real name. Instead, everyone usually just called it The Roost. Or if they were feeling particularly pervy, they called it The Cock. The bar was known for its cold beers, its hot cheese fries, and college bands. It’s a bit of a dive, but not in a sleazy way. Although the tight t-shirts we wore with crazy phrases like “I Serve Tail at The Cock” and a picture of a martini glass on it sure did seem push things toward the sleazy slide.
I got the job as soon as I’d turned twenty-one. I needed the money, and it paid well for a part-time job with hours that didn’t interfere with school or dance. It also didn’t hurt that I usually got to work shifts with my roomie Charlotte since she was the one who’d gotten me the interview. She was the boss’s favorite at The Roost, so I’d been a shoe-in for the job. And I got paid well to flirt all night, so that was a plus too.
Speaking of hot guys, Jackson Silver walked into the bar about an hour before last call. I’d thought about him several times over the last month and a half. Word on campus was that he’d been keeping to himself a lot more. When he came back from Christmas break, there hadn’t been any more rumors about random hook-ups. This was
the first time I’d seen him since witnessing his argument with Sasha, which was strange considering how small the campus was.
He sat down at the other side of the bar, so Charlotte took his order and served him a beer and a shot. Then she headed straight over to me as soon as she had taken care of Jackson.
“Did ya see who’s at the bar? Hottie McHot-Pants himself,” she said, nodding her head in his direction.
“Yeah, I saw him.” I replied.
She snorted in response. “Like I didn’t know that already. I could practically feel you staring through my shoulder blades while I was servin’ him. Damn, girl. Something ya forgot to tell me about you and Jackson? Did y’all bump uglies or something after his fight with Sasha?” she teased. “C’mon. Make Momma proud. Tell me you had a wild ‘n’ crazy time and let him do all sorts of nasty things to you. Or at the very least that you’ve been thinking about what I said and are finally open to the idea of dating someone like him. Or maybe him for real.”
I whipped her ass with my towel and didn’t bother responding. Charlotte knew that I wasn’t into one-night stands, and that was all Jackson used to do, maybe extending them to a weekend if the mood struck him. I didn’t bother with the whole love thing, but if I was going to let a guy get that close to me, then I had to at least know and like him.
There was no doubt that Jackson was super hot, but I wasn’t sure that he was very likable, so there wasn’t any use going there. So of course I hadn’t thought about going out with him. That much. Except after watching Charlotte with Shane over break, I couldn’t get her comments about reformed players making the best boyfriends out of my head, and I wanted to kill her for it now.
I glanced over at him one more time before refocusing on my own customers.
The time to close flew by, and the next thing I knew, Charlotte was racing over to me as the bar started to empty out. I figured she was going to beg me to handle cleanup so that she could head back to the dorm to have some private webcam time with her boyfriend back home before I made it back.
“Shit, Kaylie. I fucked up,” she whispered to me as she grabbed my arm.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. It wasn’t like Charlotte to freak out about anything. She was usually so laid back.
“I didn’t realize Jackson had been drinking before he got here. He seemed fine, and now he’s totally trashed. I swear to God I had no idea I was over-serving him. I only gave him a couple beers and one shot, but now he’s totally smashed and I can’t let him drive back to campus. I’m screwed. If something happens to him, I am so fucked,” she lamented.
I glanced down the bar to see Jackson hunched over with his head resting on his arms, eyes closed. Char hadn’t been exaggerating when she said she was screwed, even if she was the bar’s star employee. She couldn’t let him drive if he’d had too much to drink, and our boss would not like the idea of the town’s golden boy going home in a cab from his bar. There was no way that was going to work as a solution to this mess.
“How about this? I’ll just drive Jackson back in his car and you take mine.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, Kaylie? I know I’ve been teasing you about dating him, but you don’t know him that well, and the rumors on campus about his tastes don’t really inspire confidence. Especially when he’s trashed. I’m not sure I feel comfortable with you cleaning up my mess by leaving with him even in his condition,” Charlotte worried aloud.
“It’ll be fine, Charlotte. He just needs a ride. Besides, if he didn’t hurt Sasha after the stunt she pulled, then he isn’t going to do anything to me just because I am helping him out with a ride home. Don’t be such a worrywart. I’ll even text his sister to let her know what’s going on so she can check on him in the morning, okay?”
“I don’t know about this, Kaylie. It doesn’t feel right that you’re taking care of this for me. I should just take him.”
I hugged her to me. ‘First of all, you’re my best friend. Of course I’m going to help you whenever I can. Secondly, he’s Aubrey’s brother, so I wouldn’t feel right leaving him like this even if this had happened somewhere else where we were just drinking and not serving. More importantly, it’s not like you can be the one to drive him back yourself. Shane would flip the fuck out if you told him you were alone in a car with a drunk hot guy even though it was perfectly innocent,” I reminded her.
“Why don’t we just text Aubrey now and ask her to come get him?” she asked.
“Because it’s already one o’clock in the morning. I’m not going to drag her out of bed when I’m already here. Relax. It’s not a big deal. Besides, you get to make it up to me by being on clean-up duty tonight,” I replied, tossing my towel at her before rounding the bar to walk over to Jackson.
“Hey, buddy, let’s get you home. You don’t look so good,” I said before I helped Jackson to his feet. He looked up at me with glazed eyes and I noticed his flushed cheeks. I reached out and rested my hand on his forehead, realizing that he wasn’t drunk. He was sick. “Damn, you picked a bad time to come out to the bar. Didn’t you realize that you were coming down with something?”
Jackson shook his head, but I wasn’t sure if it was in response to my question or to try to wake up a little. “No, I’m fine. I never get sick.”
“Sure you don’t. How about I shoot your sister a text and then help you get home safely?” I asked. I held my palm out to him as I continued. “Now where are your car keys?”
“I said I’m fine. There’s no way I’m going to let a little girl like you drive my truck,” he rasped back at me.
“Okie-dokie then. Wow, you sure do like to remind me that you’re bigger than me. How about I walk you out and make sure you make it to your big manly truck, okay?” I teased as I watched him stagger on his way to the door. He really was in no condition to drive. Hopefully he’d realize it before I had to fight him for his keys, because as much as it irritated me when he called me little, he was still much bigger than I was.
I shot Aubrey a quick text to let her know that her brother was sick while I trailed behind him. I figured she was probably asleep, but at least she’d know to check on him in the morning to make sure he was all right. We had just made it outside when I got a response back from her asking me if I’d be willing to take him to their parents’ house. Apparently he’s a big baby when he’s sick, so she thought it would be better for him if he wasn’t at the frat house while he wasn’t feeling well. She was going to let their mom know that we were on the way, and she was sure their dad would be able to drive me back to campus after.
By the time we made it to his truck, Jackson looked like he was about to pass out. I watched as he pulled his keys out of his front pocket, both glad and a little disappointed that I didn’t have to fish for them myself. He fumbled with them while trying to unlock his car and they fell from his hand to the ground.
“Fuck,” he mumbled under his breath.
“C’mon. I told your sister that I’d make sure you made it to your parents’ house safe and sound so your mom can nurse you back to health.” I reached down to snag his keys before he could grab them. “I promise to be extra careful with your precious truck if you’ll just cooperate and get in.”
He tried to level me with a glare, but it just didn’t have any heat to it. “Shit, I think you’re right. I feel like crap.”
I tugged on his arm, walking him around to the passenger side. “C’mon then. Get in. I’ll have you to your parent’s house in no time flat,” I said as I opened the door and half-pushed him inside. He didn’t even fight. He just climbed into the car and leaned back with his eyes closed.
When I got into the driver’s seat, I had to pull it all the way forward and up so I could see over the dash. I turned the key in the ignition and breathed a deep sigh of relief that it was an automatic and not manual. I glanced across at Jackson and realized that he’d fallen fast asleep sometime during the time it took me to get situated. I sent Charlotte a quick text to tell her about the change in p
lans, plugged the address into my phone’s GPS, and pulled out of the parking lot.
It was a quick drive to his parents’ and we were there before I knew it. Which was a good thing because my hormones were going crazy with his scent floating in the air. As much as I didn’t like the idea of wanting him, my body was making it clear that it disagreed with me. It didn’t help that I was seeing him at a vulnerable point right now either. I needed to get him out of the truck and into the house and then get myself out of here fast. As I climbed out, the porch lights turned on and his mom opened the front door. She came rushing out to help me get Jackson inside.
“Hi, I’m Megan, Jackson’s mom. Thanks so much for bringing him home to me,” she said as she reached us. “Aubrey said you’re Kaylie, right?”
“Yup, that’s me.”
“It was awfully sweet of you to do this for him. We’re so lucky you were there and realized he was in trouble. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to my baby boy,” she continued as she led him into the house with me following behind, giggling a little. “I know. He hates when I call him that, but I just can’t help myself since he’s my youngest boy. Especially when he’s sick and I get to mother him.”
“I’ll have to keep that in mind the next time I see him on campus. I’m sure he’ll like it even less if I call him that since he likes to call me little girl.”
“Yes! Definitely tease him about it if he calls you that. I didn’t realize you knew each other. I thought you were a friend of Aubrey’s?” she asked.
I closed the door behind us before answering. “I don’t really know Jackson that much. We’ve just seen each other around a few times.”
“Well, thank you so much for stepping in and helping him out after he’s irritated you those few times. I really appreciate it.” She waved me towards the living room couch. “Why don’t you wait down here while I get him settled upstairs? His dad is running late from a business dinner a few towns over, but he should be back soon to give you a lift back to campus.”
Hit the Wall (Blythe College) Page 3
