Indulgence: A Billionaire Virgin Romance

by Winter, Alexis

  “You have a point. It’s just a bunch of things. There’s so much going on, and I don’t even know where to start.” Charlotte closed the oven behind the latest pan of cupcakes she’d slid into the oven. She planned to do them in batches, so she could start decorating the first pan while the next was in the oven. It would keep her chugging along at a better pace if she knew she had more in the oven to take care of while she was icing them. She’d done things like this enough to have the timing down to an instinct, so it wasn’t going to take too much concentration to keep the baking going on in the background while she spilled everything she was thinking out to her friend.

  “Start with whatever is on the top of your mind then, hon. We’ll get through all of it one thing at a time.” Riley pulled up a set of stools near the oven and Charlotte sank onto the hard-wooden top as she leaned an elbow on the closest table and let out a sigh.

  “So, I guess I’ll start with the wedding. I’m just not sure I can do all of this stuff in time. I’ve never even helped anyone plan a wedding before and I don’t want to throw it all off on Preston’s secretary. Sophie has enough work on her plate without having to deal with my wedding on top of all of that. Besides, this is supposed to be about Preston and I want it to be personal and something we do together… not just another business transaction.” She let out a sigh. It wasn’t the first time she’d talked about this particular part of her life with Riley since the other girl started working there.

  “Have you asked Preston for help? I mean, I’m sure he’d pitch in if he knew it was too much for you.”

  “It’s not just that. It’s also that I can’t make up my mind. I keep wavering back and forth between all the possibilities, and I don’t want to drag him through all of that for something so trivial. I can’t tell if it’s because I’m overwhelmed, or I just don’t care. Do I really care what color the invitations are? People just throw them away, anyway.”

  “That all there is to all of this?” She could almost hear the raised eyebrow in Riley’s voice as she turned around facing away from the oven with the pretense of working on the last batch of cupcakes she had pulled out of the oven. They were cooled enough for her to start lining them up with the other six dozen to give them a bit of a crumb coat before she started decorating them in earnest. The move was meant to take Riley’s attention off her, but all it did was remind her that she really just wanted someone to talk to.

  “There’s a lot going on. Maybe too much. Preston and I have been trying a few new things, and to be honest, they scare the life out of me.” Charlotte let out a long sigh as she picked up the icing knife and smeared a thick coat of the white butter-cream across the top of the first cupcake she had in hand.

  “Charlotte, is everything ok? Preston isn’t pushing you into something you’re not comfortable with, is he?” Charlotte felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Riley with her brows knit together. She hadn’t meant to sound like she wasn’t comfortable with what was going on, but she’d realized what her statement sounded like as soon as she saw the expression on Riley’s face.

  “Oh god, no. Ugh.” Charlotte groaned in frustration and ran a hand over her face. This all came from her skirting around the issue, and as long as she wasn’t a hundred percent up front, neither one of them was going to understand what was going on. She needed to either drop the issue or just be completely up front with her friend. “I just mean, I don’t know what to make of everything that’s going on. It’s something I didn’t expect to happen between the two of us, and I’m not sure I can make sense of it all.”

  She could see Riley visibly relax when she started talking. At least the other woman knew that she was just stressing over everything that had been heaped onto her and that it wasn’t something more serious.

  “Charlotte, quit dancing around all of it and just go ahead and spill it all. I’m all ears, and I’m not going to make you feel bad about whatever your decision is.” Charlotte bit her lip, deciding to finally just let go and confide in someone.

  “I don’t know how to put any of this, so I guess just bear with me. I know I haven’t talked that much about the umm… well, I guess personal stuff between Preston and me. I just don’t have that much experience with all of it. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like with anyone because he’s been the only one, and it’s not that I don’t enjoy it all. I enjoy every minute of everything between us. I’m just terrified that because he’s so much more experienced than me, I just can’t live up to everything that’s expected of me, and if you add that on top of everything else that’s going on around here with the business and the wedding and moving…” Charlotte sighed again, trailing off as she threw her hands up in a shrug. Riley just listened while she let all of it out without saying a word until Charlotte paused at a loss for words.

  “Well first, don’t put some made up pressure on yourself about what it’s “supposed” to be like… every couple is different, do what comes natural to you, and communicate that to your partner. Speaking of communication, what does Preston say about everything?” Riley had a point there, and Charlotte really didn’t know what her answer should be, so for the first time she just said exactly what was in her mind.

  “I don’t know.” Maybe that was part of the problem. She was new to all of this. She just didn’t know what she was supposed to be, and she was trying to be everything all at once without asking anyone for help.

  “You haven’t told him. Have you?” The answer to that question came as readily as the last one.

  “No.”

  “Have you thought about asking him? Like I’m not sure what to tell you to do otherwise. I know you’re happy. I can see it written all over your face every time you talk about him. But the rest of the things are getting in the way might just be cleared up if you’re open with him about your feelings. You’re bending over backwards trying to live up to his expectations that you’ve made up in your head, and I don’t know if you even talked to him about all of it enough to know what his expectations really are.”

  Riley’s words hit home more than anything else had with Charlotte. She really hadn’t spoken to Preston about any of this since it all got started. She didn’t know what was expected of her. She didn’t know if she was supposed to be Preston’s twenty-four-hour a day sex slave or just herself until the two of them stepped into the bedroom. She also didn’t know if this would take over their love life, was this what he wanted their relationship to be?

  She didn’t know how he felt about getting married so quickly or the path things had taken between the two of them. She knew he loved her, and she knew she loved him, but beyond all of that, she was walking through all of this blindly. Maybe that was why everything had been so overwhelming, and unless she talked to Preston about what she was going through, there was no way he was going to know.

  “You know you’ve got a point.”

  “And have you thought about asking him if he minds postponing the wedding?” Charlotte felt another pang of guilt rock through her.

  “You think that’s a good idea?”

  Her friend nodded reaching out to rest a hand on her shoulder.

  “You’re doing too much, you need more time to plan all of it, and I don’t think anyone would blame you for asking for it. I mean you don’t have to. Maybe it’s just something to think over. I’m not saying it’s what you should do, I’m giving you my two cents from an outside perspective. I know when I get married I want it to be something that I enjoy doing… I want to savor the moments. I know that kind of life change is always extremely stressful anyway and the last thing you want to feel is that you just want it over with.”

  A sudden wave of relief washed over Charlotte as she thought over it, though she didn’t reply to Riley. The possibility of postponing the wedding wasn’t even something that had occurred to her. She kept on icing one cupcake after the other as she thought about how she might bring it up with Preston. She really didn’t even know where to start. It had been good to talk to Ri
ley, but Charlotte felt like she needed more guidance. After applying a crumb coat to another half dozen cupcakes an idea hit her.

  “Riles, how would you feel about taking care of running the bakery for me Friday afternoon and Saturday? I mean, I know you were planning to be here anyway, but… I just need to take care of a few things, and I was thinking about making a visit to Iowa…”

  Charlotte had been rushing headlong into things, and she’d only had the shortest of visits to home since she’d moved to the city. All of this made her miss her mother, and before she ran into the next decision without consulting someone, she wanted to talk to her. Every part of her was saying that just chatting on the phone wasn’t going to be enough, but if she could get Riley to cover for her in the bakery for a couple of days, she could definitely manage to get a flight back to Iowa and see her mom.

  “You know I don’t mind. You need a break, and if you’re going home for the weekend, that’s just going to make me that much happier to take care of everything for you.”

  Charlotte let out a huge sigh of relief, she knew she was so lucky to have such a great employee but also a friend. She dropped the cupcake she was holding and pulled the younger woman into a hug as Riley let out a surprised squeak before returning the embrace.

  “Thank you. I just couldn’t do any of this without you. You’ve been such an amazing friend.”

  Riley laughed and pulled away.

  “You know you’ve been a great friend, too. You gave me a chance to do all of this and get back to doing what I really loved, and if anyone deserves to be happy it’s you. I just want you to figure out what you need and go get it, Charlotte.”

  Charlotte gave Riley one last squeeze before taking a step back.

  “I think this weekend is going to be the first step to all of that. I just need to go home and get my head on straight before I go talk to Preston about everything. I have to figure out exactly what I want and get my priorities straight, and there’s no one I know who’s going to be better at helping me figure all of that out than my mother.”

  Chapter 6

  The office beyond Preston’s doors was buzzing with activity, but Preston was leaned back in his desk chair staring out the tall glass windows at the city beyond. He was preoccupied in thought. His wedding was coming up in less than a month. His fiancée, Charlotte, and he were exploring things that he’d thought were never going to be a part of his life again. Things were happening so fast, and he was a little scared that Charlotte was just going through the motions to make him happy.

  He wanted her to be happy, but she’d seemed distracted and tired, even more so than normal lately. He admired her independence and determination, but she had to learn to ask for help when she needed it. Even more though, something he just couldn’t quite put his finger on worried him. Preston knew that if she was doing any of this just to make him happy, it was going to mean nothing good for their relationship in the long run. She would grow to resent him, and if the two of them didn’t work things out, it could poison everything they’d tried to do.

  Neither of them had shared much of their feelings about things since the other night though he’d thought Charlotte had enjoyed things between the two of them here in the bedroom office. At least, she’d seemed to, even though they’d fallen asleep curled around each other, and she was gone when he woke up in the morning.

  He knew she was busy and had so much on her plate that there was no way she could be expected to carve time out of her schedule to talk things over with him though he was disappointed that the two of them hadn’t given each other a chance to work through what was happening between the two of them right now. He knew he should ask her what was going on in that brain of hers, what was troubling her but if he was honest with himself it terrified him. What if he opened a can of worms so full of doubt he couldn’t stuff them back in?

  In the end, it really left him second guessing what had happened, and terrified that he’d pushed her too far into something she wasn’t alright with. He just didn’t know how to bring it up. Preston had spent the better part of his afternoon trying to figure things out and trying to work out the best way to broach the subject with Charlotte. He’d been so lost in thought he hadn’t even heard Sophie come into the room with a cup of coffee. She just left it on his desk and shook her head when he jumped as she walked into the room.

  “You look like you could use some caffeine, boss. Let me know if you need me, ok?” He just nodded and let her walk out of the room before he took a sip of the warm liquid. She was right about him needing something, he just didn’t know what it was. He was still deep in thought when his phone went off with a text message.

  When he glanced at the screen and saw it was from Charlotte, he immediately picked up the phone and started reading, though his heart fell into the bottom of his stomach once he read the message in its entirety.

  Hi baby, I was just wondering how you’d feel if I caught a flight home for the weekend? I just kind of missed my mother suddenly, and I wanted to chat with her about some stuff. I found one that leaves this afternoon, and I figured I could get a last-minute seat so I could spend the weekend back at home.

  Home… He could understand why Charlotte might miss home. The two of them had been there right after their engagement was official to introduce him to her parents, but it had only been a short visit. She hadn’t been home more than two days in the last year, and she’d only seen her mother twice in all that time. He knew how close the two of them were, so it made sense that she would want to have her involved in the wedding planning. Until now, they’d accomplished that by talking on the phone and video chatting on a regular basis. Why she might want to go home, all of a sudden was what sent him into a near panic.

  The only thing that had been different between the two of them recently had been what happened in his office the other night. He’d pushed her too far, and she was running away. That was the only thing that could occur to him. Preston wasn’t going to stop her if she wanted to go even though the thought of it was something that nearly broke him in half.

  He finally took a deep breath, he hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath until the burn from the lack of oxygen hit his senses. How was he supposed to answer this? Sending her away was going to be painful but holding on to her if she didn’t want to be there was going to be even worse. He didn’t want to lose her, but he wasn’t going to cage her. The dilemma was more than he could process at the moment.

  She’d been tired and a little distant lately. He’d written all that off to Charlotte being exhausted about everything she had on her plate, but maybe there was more to it than that. Maybe she was second guessing her decision to marry him. Maybe she had finally come to her senses and realized that what he had feared all along was true. He wasn’t good for her. He was too old, too stuck in his ways, and too pushy with what he was asking of her.

  Preston couldn’t let her know that he was scared though. He wasn’t going to push her away any more than he already had. She wanted to go, and he was no one to stop her, even if it meant this was goodbye. The control he’d exercised over her was one that she’d freely given, and one that she was free to take back. Maybe she thinks he wants to control her life? He really hadn’t explained in detail to her that it wasn’t something he wanted outside of the bedroom. Come to think of it she also never asked why he had these desires where they stemmed from. His mind began to spiral, he quickly snapped himself back to reality before he sprinted out of his office to go beg her to stay.

  She needed her mother, and if he stood any chance of getting her to come back to him, he couldn’t stand between her and what she wanted. He took a deep breath, picking up his phone from the place he’d dropped back onto the desk when the wave of panic hit him to type out his reply.

  Of course not. Go right ahead. I’m going to miss you, but I know you miss your mom. Have fun?

  He wasn’t sure why he ended the text in a question mark though it did mirror his worries about everything tha
t was going on in his head. He kept wavering between thinking he was reading too much into all of this and freaking out that she was going to leave him and was just going home to ask her mom’s advice about how to end it all. All he could really do was wait and see what came of it all. He just knew that Charlotte was the one thing in his life he didn’t think he could live without.

  The reply to his text message came quickly, almost as soon as the screen had darkened itself after the last message sent and was read.

  Thank you! I’ll only be gone a few days, I promise. I love you.

  That last sentence was exactly what he needed to hear. If she was telling him that now, then there was some hope that she just needed a break from work and wedding planning to go back home and catch a breather. He could understand that. He’d been busy himself, but he really had no idea how she was juggling everything without completely falling apart. His reply summed up everything he was thinking in the only four words he could think to say to her.

  I love you, too.

  Preston let out a long sigh, bringing his coffee cup to his lips. Charlotte would be gone when he got home from work, and she wouldn’t be back for a few days. It was going to be the longest they’d been apart since they’d gotten engaged. He didn’t know how he was going to feel after all of this, but he just hoped she got whatever she needed out of this visit back home.

  He was going to have to work out his insecurities on his own. Preston wasn’t used to having his feelings hinge so completely on another person. In the past, he’d managed to keep himself detached from his partners, almost obsessively so, and now that he was so attached to Charlotte, he was going to have to find a way to keep his insecurities at bay.