Whatever It Takes (Bold As Love)
Page 8
Chuckling, he says, “Push off on your left then your right.”
I do as he says and slowly inch forward. My foot slips as I attempt to speed up just a little. Strong hands keep me upright and my insides shake as Jake's breath warms my ear.
“I told you that I've got you.”
I focus on trying to skate. After ten minutes, I sort of get the hang of it. Jake releases me and instantly, I know that it's Jake that has kept me standing thus far. My arms flail about as Jake skates in front of me. He takes my hands in his own.
“C'mon. Skate, Sweetness.”
Jake begins to skate backwards and tugs me with him. Backwards! I've no choice but to skate. My hands hold on tightly to Jake's. I can feel that I'm going to fall. If I'm going down, Jake is going down with me.
Three times I almost fall and each time Jake catches me, giving me a sly smile that screams he is keeping his word. I squeeze my eyes shut as a memory tries to come forward. I can see a smiling Jake and me telling him to quit giving me the I'm-incredible-and-I-know-it look. Everything appears blurry and strong arms wrap around my waist.
“Sweetness? Emily? Everything okay?”
I slit my eyes and then they pop open. Leaning against Jake, I rest for a second. There's a sudden weakness in my legs and I hope it disappears soon. Jake's pleading eyes remind me to answer him.
“I remember telling you to quit looking at me with a look that says I'm incredible. That's it though. It was like I was an outsider looking in.”
A faraway look appears in Jake's eyes and that sly smile just barely appears.
“C'mon; let's skate if you're feeling okay.”
Nodding, Jake starts skating backwards once more. I still stumble a few times, but confidence fills my veins as Jake picks up the pace little by little. It's an amazing feeling to glide across the ice - with Jake's help, of course. I know that if I start to fall, Jake will catch me.
Two hours and dozens of almost falls later, I'm exhausted as we take a seat at a picnic table with hot cocoa between our hands. It has been a fun and wonderful today. I would love to come back and have the security of Jake's hands in mine again.
“Thanks for today. I had lots of fun.”
“You're welcome. It was good to go out and skate for pure fun instead of worrying about the game.”
The hot chocolate warms my insides as it slides down my throat. Thinking about today puts a smile on my face and I sneak a peek at Jake when I go to take a slip of my drink. His clenched jaw is looking in another direction and what I can see of his eyes are fierce. Following his gaze, I see a cute guy with long blonde hair approaching our table.
He takes a seat, nods to Jake, and focuses on me.
“Hey Emily. Enjoying your day at the rink?”
Confused, my eyebrows furrow and I look to Jake.
“Do I know him?”
“Of course you do, Em. It's me. Kyle.”
Back and forth between Jake and this Kyle my eyes dart. A memory of being kissed by Kyle flashes in my mind.
“I've kissed you before. But how? If I went from being with Conrad to Jake then how did I end up kissing you?”
The look that passes over Jake is one that I haven't seen in the past twenty four hours. He looks angry. Did I cheat on Jake? Did he know that I did such a thing? I would cheat on someone?
“I didn't cheat on you, did I? I didn't think I was the kind of person who would do that.”
A calming look comes over Jake as he turns to me.
“No. You didn't. He kissed you when you didn't want it. That's what you're remembering. You did nothing wrong.”
Relief courses through me and suddenly, I don't want to be here with this guy anymore. I feel too uneasy and a headache begins to form.
“Can we leave? I'm getting a headache.”
“Absolutely.”
Jake stands and holds out his hand for me to take. I grasp it and follow him to his car. He's silent the entire ride home and his knuckles are white on the steering wheel.
Back at the house, I lie on the couch and flip through the channels. Suddenly, I feel sick and the urge to throw up is huge. I dash to the bathroom as vomit works its way up and out. Next thing I know, Jake is there holding my hair back. I flush and then brush the nasty taste off my teeth.
An ache fills my bones and all I want to do is lay down on the couch with the comforter from my bed. I snatch it up and do just that. Chill bumps rise across my body and I feel as if I need more heat. I'm taken off guard as Jake tells me to sit up.
Doing as I’m told, I sit up and Jake lies behind me. I lay down and his strong arms wrap around me. Soon his heat makes its way to my body and slowly warms me up a bit. A memory slams into me as my heart pounds in my head.
“You've done this before.”
“I'll do this whenever you need me.”
Knowing that Jake has taken care of me when I’ve been sick before makes a sweet feeling blossom inside. Still cold, I roll over and invite Jake inside the covers for direct contact. He's so warm against me that soon, I fall into a deep sleep.
I awake to find Jake sleeping. He looks so calm and relaxed in this state. Bile rises in my throat and I roll over to bolt to the bathroom. My stomach lurches as the toilet comes into view. After brushing my teeth, I find a thermometer and check my temperature.
103.2 blinks on the screen. Great. What a way to end the day. I return to the couch and climb in beside Jake. Another memory tries to jolt its way forward, but it's too fuzzy. When I do remember, it feels like they are someone else's memories and not my own. I find my way to the crook of Jake's neck and my eyes droop.
Sleep does not come though. Instead, the lullaby of Jake's beating heart and steady breathing plays in my ear. The soothing sounds call for sleep but the way I feel keeps me awake. Hours pass before Jake wakes up with an apologetic smile.
“I didn't mean to fall asleep on you.”
“It's okay.”
“Are you hungry,” he asks.
“Not really.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Terrible. I checked my temperature earlier and it was 103.2.”
“I'm sorry,” he says with a kiss on the forehead, which catches me off guard. Noticing my expression he adds, “Sorry. You're still Sweetness to me. I can't help myself.”
“It's fine. I'm just surprised, I reckon. Can we consider today a date?”
Jake's eyes widen a bit and he answers, “Sure.”
Hesitation stops me for just a second before I place a tender kiss on Jake's full lips. It doesn't last long because I don't want to get Jake sick, but it was long enough.
“Thanks for today.”
I find the crook of his neck again and close my eyes. Jake's lips are by my ear when he replies minutes later assuming I am asleep.
“Anything for you, Sweetness.”
If this is my life, I can certainly get used to it. Jake is sweet and affectionate to no end. Who wouldn't want that? The next time I awake, I find myself clinging to Jake in my bed. The red numbers tell me that it's two in the morning. My eyes and cheeks are wet from a nightmare that I can't remember but yet I'm terrified to fall back asleep. I shake Jake awake and immediately he questions what is wrong.
“Can you stay awake with me? I had a nightmare and I don't want to go back to sleep. Couldn't tell you what it was about though.”
“I sure can. C'mere.”
Scooting closer to Jake, his arms wrap around me and I feel fragile.
“I wish I remembered.”
“Me too, Sweetness, but it'll come back.”
“What if it doesn't?”
“It will,” he says with conviction.
I sure hope he's right.
16
Jake
Emily seemed terrified when she woke me up this morning. I can only assume that her nightmare was about the baby. I didn't want to tell her that was a possibility though. She has enough on her plate as it is. Days pass and it seems that I'm falling in love with Emily all over again
.
We go on dates similar to our first dates. Each time, the goodnight kiss lasts a little longer than the previous and Emily tugs me into the bed with her to fall asleep in my arms. Since she had that nightmare, she's keeps telling me that she wants me there. Just in case. I don't mind one bit.
I was surprised when Emily agreed to keep her job. She's a fast learner that's for sure. It's been an enjoyable ride coasting along and falling in love with one another once more. Emily hasn't said she loves me yet, but I can see it in her eyes.
We studied our asses off for exams. I had to study for mine while trying to get Emily prepared for hers. I'm amazed that she passed. She's such a quick learner. Before I know it, exams are over and we are heading back home for Christmas. Emily was gaining a few memories back here and there, but she keeps reminding me that they feel as if they weren't hers.
Every night before Emily goes home, there's a hesitation in her actions. Her steps are slower, her words are spoken with care, and her eyes have a twinge of fear. The nightmares haven't stopped but Emily still can't remember one.
“You'll be fine,” I say with a kiss on the forehead. “If not, you can always do like you used to and run over during the night.”
A smile converges and my heart skips a few beats. Emily isn't worth the skip of just one beat. She's worth the skip of many. I didn't think it was possible to love her more than I already do, but I am deeper in love than ever before. No matter what, if a love is true, it will always be there. Even without her memory, Emily found her way back to me and I couldn't be more grateful.
I see Sweetness safely to the door and watch as she heads to Mike's. Back upstairs, I play a few games with Drake before I tuck him in for the night.
“How have things been, buddy?”
“Okay. Dad hasn't been as cheery, but we still have fun.”
“Good. Sleep well. Before you know it, Santa will be here.”
“I know that Santa doesn't exist, Jake. Dad puts the presents under the tree.”
“Yeah, but Santa drops them off.”
He seems to consider the notion before shrugging. Like old times, I kiss his forehead and return to my room for bed.
The shrill ringing of my phone jolts me from my sleep. I pick it up and place it over my ear.
“Hello?”
“Jake, sorry to wake you. Can I come in? I couldn't sleep.”
“Absolutely.”
Closing my phone, I tip toe downstairs past the lit tree with the presents neatly placed underneath it and open the front door.
“Where's your jacket,” I ask as I take in the sight of Emily shivering.
“I forgot it.”
“C'mon,” I whisper, pulling her to me to warm her up.
I lead her to my room and within minutes, she's peacefully sleeping.
I wake Emily up early so she can get home before anyone wakes up. Soon after, Drake wakes me. He's excited to open presents and doesn't want to wait. All too soon, Drake is bored with his new toys though and wants to see Emily so she can play with him.
At Emily's, we gather around the tree. Emily searches for the presents and passes them out. Drake waits with exceptional patience as Emily pretends to have lost his.
“Okay, here you go, Drake. Open up everyone,” Emily instructs.
Drake tears into his to find a brand new, shiny pair of skates. He's been using my old ones when practicing on the ice and keeps asking for new ones. Emily decided that would be his present, so we went to the store together and I helped her pick out the best ones. After all, I was the expert.
I dig into my present. The wrapping paper sits in a messy pile in front of me as I discover that I too have new skates. Skates that, when we were shopping, I said I'd love to have but they were really expensive.
I lean over and place a kiss on her cheek. “You shouldn't have,” I say while admiring my skates. Returning my attention to Emily, I hand her the present in my lap and wait. Watching Emily opens her present is torture. She unwraps like my Grandma. Carefully pulling off the tape, she finally unwraps the little box. Inside is a silver charm bracelet
“Jake, I love it. You'll have to tell me what they are for.”
“The 87 is for Crosby.” The eight was made of two pucks and the seven was a hockey stick.
“The jersey, of course, is for me.” There was a jersey with eleven and my last name written across the top.
“The camera is for all the pictures we have taken together. The swing set is for when we would go to the park.”
Emily stops me.
“I remember that night at the park. Where you first kissed me.”
“You do?” I smile. This is good news. Every time Emily remembers something, my chest swells at the accomplishment. One day, as it was set in my heart, she would remember everything.
“What's the baby for?”
There were two charms left. One was a heart with Emily and Jake written inside and the other was a baby with a halo. I hated to bring up the baby now, when Emily had no clue. Suddenly, Emily's head snaps up from the bracelet and looks at me. Recognition glows in her brown eyes.
Her voice is excited as she squeals. “I remember!”
“Everything?”
“Everything! I can't believe I could ever forget about you, Dad, Drake, or the baby.”
She climbs over to me and drapes her arms around my neck.
“I love you.” she whispers.
“I love you too, Sweetness.”
Unlatching the hook, she holds out her arm for me to put on the bracelet. Her eyes glow with adoring love and my heart swells to know that I made it possible.
Hours later, we finally get some time to ourselves back at my house. My dad takes Drake to try out his new skates and I lead Emily up to my room.
No hesitation is shown as she leans forward and kisses me. I grab the back of her neck and pull her down onto the bed. My heart is bursting with joy that Sweetness remembers us. My hands slide down her body until I reach her hips. I pull her body weight on top of me as a scorching heat runs down my body.
Emily moans as she feels my length pressed against her. I hear her sigh as I suck on her tongue before moving mine around to dance with hers.
Emily's fingers leave a trail of fire as they lift my shirt up and over my head. I need to run my fingers over her bare, hot skin and remove her shirt in one swift movement. She feels tiny between my large hands. My hands run up and down her back, over her stomach, then travel up to her breasts. Emily's weight sinks into me and I roll us over.
Hovering over her, I feel powerful and broad. I want nothing more than to savor every inch of Emily with my mouth.
So, I do just that.
Delicious.
Sucking and running my tongue along her body fills me upright with pleasure until I have to give in to both of our desires.
17
Emily
The memories come swiftly back like the rushing water of a waterfall. Even if my memory had never returned, Jake and I would still be together. All the little moments keep me falling head over heels in love with him.
One night, I remember being in a very light sleep and he whispered, “I'll do whatever it takes to bring you back to me.” What he didn't know was that he already had me. Laying in his arms, in my favorite spot, I am so happy. I can't help but admire my present.
Tears spring to my eyes as I look at the precious baby with a gleaming halo over its head. It is beautiful. A perfect way to remember our baby.
“Hey, what's the matter?”
“I love it. Thank you. For everything.”
“You know I'll do anything for you, Sweetness.”
“I know. I also know that we could be experiencing our first Christmas with a baby right now. There's a twinge of sadness, but that's it. It more of a subtle feeling, like it's not even trying to take over.”
“That's how I feel. I acknowledge that it's there, but it doesn't consume me. It'll happen one day Sweetness, when the time is right.”
“I love you Jake.”
“I love you too Sweetness.”
With that, I fall back asleep.
***
When I wake up, it's morning and I'm alone in Jake's bed. My clothes are scattered on the floor and I quickly move to put them on due to the chill air in Jake's room. The door to Jake's room opens slowly and I freeze in panic, praying it isn't Drake as I sit there topless, having not yet put on my bra. Jake's head peaks in and a flow of air rushes out between my lips.
“Hey,” he says, stepping in and closing the door behind him.
“I was hoping it was you and not Drake,” I say as I hook my bra. Jake wraps his arms around my bare waist as I stand back up with my shirt in hand. He kisses my shoulder as his hands run down my arms.
“Why didn't you wake me so I could go home? Dad's probably worried.”
“No, he isn't. I called him last night to let him know you'd be staying with me,” he says in between feather kisses on my shoulder.
Leaning in to him, my muscles relax and there's no other place I rather be. Jake takes a step backwards, slaps my butt, and tells me to get dressed.
With a giggle, I slip on my shirt. I follow Jake downstairs where breakfast is waiting for me. Drake and Mr. Benson are in the living room watching cartoons. I take a seat in Jake's lap. In front of me is a plate full of eggs, grits, bacon, and a biscuit.
“Do you think I need this much food, love?”
Chuckling is the answer I get. I dig in and savor the taste of the delicious food. The feel of sturdy legs beneath me and a lean but muscular torso behind me make me feel at home. Completely comfortable and relaxed.
“How about we go ice skating today? Coach probably left the rink open.”
“Sounds like fun. We can see Drake in action.”
Watching Drake and Jake skate around the rink while I take my time makes me think. They say that whatever is meant to be will happen. That if a love is true, it will always come back to you. Bullshit. You can't wait around for love to come back or for something to happen. You have to make it happen. Have you ever heard of someone accomplishing their dreams by waiting around because 'what is meant to be will happen'?