Belonging Part III

by J. S. Wilder

  BELONGING

  PART THREE

  J. S. Wilder

  Copyright © 2014 J. S. Wilder

  BELONGING

  By J.S. Wilder

  All rights reserved.

  Cover Design by

  Louisa Maggio @ LM Creations

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  Swish Design & Editing

  This book may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the properties of the author and your support and respect is appreciated.

  This book is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Both author and editor have taken great effort in presenting a manuscript free of errors. However, editing errors are ultimately the responsibility of the author. This book is written in UK English.

  CONTENTS

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Epilogue

  More books by J. S. Wilder

  Chapter One

  Roy gets hold of a bottle of scotch, pours himself a drink and then offers me one. I wonder if returning to the house was a good idea. He offered me the chance to leave, and that’s exactly what I should have done.

  Left.

  Fuck it! The suspense is killing me. I’m dying to know what he has to say on one hand and on the other, my life to date has been one big turmoil. Until a few days ago, it was clear, I was going on holiday with Kevin, spending some time with my mum and getting my life together. I wasn’t going to turn my back on my past, but try to embrace it. Damn!

  I was brought up on a council estate and I was proud of that fact. I’d spent an eternity acting like it was a curse, like I was better than anyone else on the estate and it suddenly dawned on me, that on the estate is where I belong, and that’s who I really am.

  He walks towards me and hands me a glass of scotch and then the door opens. It’s obvious, I think to myself who has just walked in, it’s Betty.

  “Good evening, Deborah,” she says while she approaches me. I look up and see that her eyes are tired, but I return her greeting, “Evening Betty.”

  There’s nothing good about it. Nothing at all. Especially for me. It feels as though I’m surrounded by something that everyone knows except for me. I hate it! I down the scotch in one gulp. I’m sure I need something strong in my stomach for what I’m about to hear.

  We are all sitting in the library. The place where I first kissed Roy, the once-married man, now a widow. I couldn’t think of anything more surreal at that time. Now it’s the complete opposite. Something’s wrong, really wrong. The two most confident people I know are acting like a couple of nervous children outside their headmaster’s office waiting for their punishment to be dealt out.

  “Roy, just get on with it. What is it?” I blurt out. The suspense isn’t killing me anymore, it’s actually irritating me and getting on my nerves.

  He sits on the other end of the sofa with Betty next to me. Who is wearing her satin robe around what I assume, is her nightdress. She’s so covered up, to the point that I don’t care what she’s wearing. She could be wearing her beautiful suit for all I know. I look at them as if I’m watching a tennis match, but no one’s batting a ball or even holding a racket. They’re both just looking at the floor, scared to speak.

  I give up at this point and start to stand up, annoyed that once again, I’ve been betrayed.

  “We need your help,” Roy blurts out under his breath. His voice is low and he’s swirling the last remnants of scotch in his glass like he needs it to find the strength to carry on speaking.

  He shifts and darts a quick glance to Betty. I want to pretend that she isn’t in the room. She’s so close to me that I can hear her breathing pick up while Roy speaks again, “I need your help.”

  Seriously, is he going to spit it out or what?

  I place the glass on the side table. The Great, Roy Sparks is nervous? It almost feels like the real Roy has been kidnapped and replaced by this meek imposter. Roy anxious about anything? No way! He’s confident in everything he does, his body, his voice, his actions and especially in the bedroom. Yet, here he is sitting on the armchair like a guilty suspect in the interview room of a police station. It’s as if he’s guilty of something.

  The question is what?

  “I—”

  “Oh, for goodness sake. What he’s trying to say is that he needs you to... well – be friendly with Roy’s nemesis, Hudson Pierce. Someone is giving him our trade secrets. There’s a leak somewhere. We thought or hoped you could find out who?” Betty blurts out interrupting Roy and avoiding eye contact.

  Friendly with this man? Who the hell is he?

  I look at Roy for confirmation regarding what Betty’s saying, but he’s avoiding looking at me too. He’s gazing at the floor, which I’m thinking he’s probably hoping will swallow him up?

  Betty slowly moves her eyes and looks at me. Her face has a question. A question I’m not so sure I know the answer to.

  “We’re about to lose everything. I know your first thought will be no, but you love Roy. So I’m more inclined to think you’ll be keen to do what needs to be done,” she stops to catch her breath whilst reaching for my hand. “You’ll be willing to help him, won’t you?”

  “You said we?”

  “Yes, Mrs Sparks left me a generous amount, but that’s tied up in the business and other things. If they all go under, then I’ll be left with nothing,” she says whilst keeping her head straight. The nervous and unspeakable Roy shakes his head continuously as if he’s trembling at the idea of the latter happening in the near future.

  I want to ask her, what she had in the first place? She worked for Mrs Sparks for thirty years or more. I mean how much could she have earned during all that time. Probably a hell of a lot actually. She’s never had to pay for food and board because that was provided for her. So how can she be left with nothing? None of this is making sense.

  Can someone beam me up?

  Is this what wealth does to a person?

  This is the first time, I’m thankful for my family. Glad for who we stand for, not money, just pride and happiness. I get up, because Betty’s sitting too close to me and practically rubbing the skin of my hand. I gaze at the shelves of books, whilst pacing up and down the library. Avoiding looking at them. I want to leave. I feel like they’re only telling me half the story. I can’t deal with it right now, but there’s one thing I do know. I want to be alone. Only one thing that’s been bugging me and before I go to sleep, before I answer what they want of me, there’s something I need to know.

  I stop in front of Roy. I look down at him and say, “Does this mean that if I’m friendly with this man, you’ll not expect me to pay back any of my tuition fees or anything that was given to me when I
was at Oxford? Afterwards, I can return home as if nothing’s happened? Like we never knew each other and there will be no further contact between us?”

  Roy continues to stare down. He ignores my question while he continues to swirl the imaginary scotch in his glass.

  Betty intervenes, “Off course dear, we can draw up a contract in the morning.”

  I sigh as I step away from Roy, it’s obvious he’s not going to speak and I make my way to the door.

  “So, where are you going?” Roy questions as if he suddenly has a voice when he realises that I’m leaving.

  “To my room,” I sigh as I hold on to the door.

  “I thought—”

  “Good night Roy and Betty,” I interrupt. I know what he’s thinking and wants, but it’s not what I need right now.

  As I slowly close the door I hear her say, “I knew she would play along with the plan.”

  Yes, she knew.

  They all knew.

  Wish I knew.

  * * *

  Even in her death Mrs Sparks was still alive, she was haunting me one way or another. I stop and stare at her picture hanging still in the airy, cold corridor. I stick my tongue out at her and then I stick my finger up while I make my way up the stairs. Pathetic, but it gives me a little pleasure.

  Chapter Two

  “Rise and shine,” Betty shouts as she draws back the curtains and the sunshine beams into my room. Normally I’d get up and look at the views across the River Thames. Today, it’s a painful reminder that I’m somewhere I don’t want to be.

  Gazing out of the window with the sun’s beam blinding me, I try to open my eyes. I put the cover over my head to stop the sun in my eyes and because I can’t face her – not now. I struggle because I didn’t sleep properly. Half of me hoped that Roy would storm into my room and tell me he loves me and would never put me through this, the other half just wanted him beside me. We’d only spent one night together, yet I felt lonely throughout that night.

  The realisation that I was being used, constantly displayed in front of me and I wanted to eliminate it. As much as I tried to put the blame on Roy and Betty I kept coming to the same conclusion, there is something about me that makes them think they can get away with it.

  Is it me, or is it, them?

  Do they get where they are in life by constantly manipulating vulnerable people like me?

  The worst part is I have no money to even challenge them. I can’t afford a lawyer to figure out if they can revoke the money I owe them. God, this whole thing isn’t fair! I want to see Kevin, tell him I made a mistake. I was blinded by wealth and good looks.

  “Come on, we have a lot of work to do! You need to be up and downstairs in fifteen minutes,” Betty screeches in my ears. Well, she probably didn’t, but I think from being a non-drinker and drinking scotch like it’s water, maybe I’m a little hung-over.

  I get up, reluctantly. By the time I take the covers from off my head, she’s gone.

  I jump into the shower and put on a pair of slacks and a vest. I don’t feel like dressing up or pretending that I’m even interested in the situation I’m being blackmailed into. As I make my way down the stairs, Betty’s at the end, waiting for me. She has on her black business suit or is it her funeral outfit? Either way, I look at her begrudgingly and slowly move down the stairs.

  “Oh, no you don’t my dear. Go and put something on – which does not look like you’ve just had a session in the gym.”

  “But, my trainer will be here soon. So, no point in changing twice,” I argue as I draw nearer. She’s really pushing my buttons today.

  “He’s not coming today. I told him that you can start your sessions tomorrow. Today, we have a lot to go through and I have enough to do.”

  I make my way up the stairs again and shout, “Like what? Getting another poor, defenceless victim for Roy!” She charges up the stairs, stomping her feet. I hear a couple of the staff walking by and sniggering, they obviously overheard what I was shouting at her.

  She grabs my arm, “You ungrateful little slut—”

  “How dare you, talk to me like that! If I’m a slut then what does that make you?”

  She slaps me across the face hard and without warning, I do the same to her. Then I run off like a frightened little chicken. No one has ever slapped me or had good reason to do so. How dare she! I start to pack my belongings. I’ve had enough of this shit. I’ll confess it all to Grandma and we’ll find a way, a way to pay back Roy.

  Fuck, the Sparks and fuck Betty. The two faced bitch. I’ve had enough!

  She barges into my room and I ignore her. Moving from the wardrobe to my bags, putting them all back in their place with the sole aim of getting the hell out of there as quickly as I can. She calms down and simply watches. Not even trying to stop me. I hear her breathing relax and her eyes follow me while she makes her way to sit down on the bed. I don’t want to see her eyes. I either look at her shoes or other parts of her as I make my way round the room. I’m avoiding all eye contact with her.

  As soon as I finish and I line my bags up at the door, she whispers, so quietly, “Good luck, Deborah Withers,” and with those last words, I slam the door shut. Joan one of the maids notices me with my bags and helps me down the stairs. Another young maid, who I’ve never met before helps me with my other bag.

  Henry’s parked outside as if on cue he takes my bags and places them in the back of the limo. No one’s tried to stop me. It feels surreal. Henry opens the door and I step in and as I sit down I rest my head on the back of the seat. I don’t even notice that there is someone else is in the car.

  As Henry drives off, Roy says, “Deborah, if this is what you want, then I’ll not try to stop you.”

  I reply with no hesitation, “I’m leaving Roy, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  Chapter Three

  We sit in silence in the limo. We never speak to each other and I avoid looking in his direction. I did notice that he’s wearing the same trousers that he had on yesterday and one time, when I do get a glimpse of him I see how tired he looks, stressed even.

  As Henry parks in the estate. Roy says, “I waited all night. I thought you would come to my room. I wished you changed your mind, but you never came.”

  I don’t say a word. I thought the same thing and then I remembered who and what he was and a little voice inside my head keeps repeating itself over and over, ‘don’t fall for his lies, he’s trying to trick you.’ Henry unloads the car and I buzz to go up to Grandma’s. She doesn’t sound surprised, it was as if she knew I was coming and was expecting me.

  It seems as if the whole of the estate is watching me. Some of them have come out of their flats to watch the show. I’m shouting at them to go back inside. A rage has taken over me, I’m a different person and the man in the limo, the man who took me away from here and has brought me back is sitting in the limo as if he did nothing. He’s quiet and it just feels unnerving.

  A few of them take out their deck chairs and start to eat popcorn. Tears stream down my face in fury, because I’m just something for everyone else to gossip about. I don’t understand how they consider this a show.

  Did Grandma tell them I wasn’t coming back? Or was it Mum?

  My love of the estate turns to hate as they continue to watch and they don’t try and hide their nosiness.

  As I make my way up in the lift and out onto the balcony, I look down to see that Roy has come out of the car. I’m dumbfounded and pause for a moment while I walk to Grandma’s with Henry trailing behind me. When I reached the door, I look down at him once more with confusion on my face. My mum opens the door with so much force and then she slaps me across the face.

  “You stupid girl. You’re not welcome here. Go back and finish what you started.”

  Since, when did she live here and where is Grandma?

  I shout out her name while I try to push past my mum and get inside the flat. I can’t she’s stronger and bigger than me. I look at her and real
ise that she’s put on so much weight. She has on heavy makeup and her clothes are way too small for her. She slams the door.

  I stand there stunned by what just happened. I continue to bang on the door until Grandma comes to the kitchen window and says, “Go back where you belong.”

  I shake my head. I belong on a council estate where I’ve spent my whole life, not some fancy house in Chelsea. I mean, why does she think that I’m a rich man’s girlfriend all of a sudden?

  I scream some more shouting and hoping they will change their mind. I turn to see the other people in the estate pointing and watching me. The whole thing is so humiliating and I just wish they’ll let me in.

  After my hands hurt too much from pounding the door and there is little noise from inside the flat, I admit defeat and I head back to the lift. I look down at Roy who’s slumped against the limo. I thought that he’d have a big smile on his face, but, he doesn’t.

  The same neighbours are still sitting eating popcorn, whispering to their partner or whoever is sitting next to them. This is when I remember that Henry is behind me.

  “You see, Miss Withers, Mr Sparks has been giving a generous amount to your family since—”

  “Since, when?” I blurt out, noticing that he has a dirty big grin on his face.

  His smile diminishes as he replies, “Three years ago.”

  Roy has been planning this for three years? This doesn’t make sense. I mean why would he do that?

  “Oh my God! How have I been so fucking blind,” I cry out as the tears run like rivers down my cheeks. Yesterday, when I went to Grandma’s she had all this new furniture. The place looked very different to what it had been. Everyone had been going on exotic holidays, but because of my studies I never went and all of that was supported by Roy? I’m so confused.

  As I make my way to the limo, Roy opens the door and whispers, “There’s something you need to know.” He takes my bag and hands it to Henry. I climb into the limo slowly, wondering if the last few events have actually taken place. Was I dreaming? I can’t believe that this is happening to me. I left of my own free will and now I’m going back. It’s as if I don’t know where to go. I’m going up and down like a yo-yo.