Black Moon ap-3

by J. D. Tyler

  “You shouldn’t. I’m a horrible prospect, honey.”

  “Because of your past? You know I would never hold that against you. That’s not who I am.” She touched his hand. “You did what you had to do in order to survive.”

  “It’s not the past I’m worried about.” His expression was agonized. “I’ve done something I’m so afraid I can’t take back. I’m up against a force I don’t know if I can fight, much less win.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I . . .” His inner struggle waged war on his face, and his eyes were bleak. “I went—” Suddenly he grabbed his head, grimacing in pain.

  “Kalen, what’s wrong?” she asked in a low voice, glancing around to make sure nobody else had noticed.

  After a few quick, shallow breaths, he lowered his hands. His skin was pale and he looked shaken. “I can’t tell you. He won’t let me.”

  Fear washed through her like ice water. “Who? Malik?”

  With apparent reluctance, he nodded. “Yes.”

  Beginning to connect the dots, she gripped the edge of the table. “This is the one who’s giving you meaningful counsel, helping you feel empowered?” she asked in a low voice. At his miserable nod, the dread intensified. “What’s this bullshit about him not letting you tell? What has he done to you?”

  “I can’t explain right now. I wish I could.”

  “Can’t or won’t?” Strained silence was her answer. “Is this the part where you ask me to trust you?”

  “I can’t ask anything of you, honey. But I’m hoping you do.”

  “Why should I?”

  “Because without you—” With a sharp intake of breath, he stood abruptly, holding a hand under his nose. “Sorry. Be right back.”

  Mac stared after him as he retreated, presumably in the direction of the men’s restroom. Slumping back in her seat, she let out a sigh and tried to calm her racing pulse. Malik was sinking his claws deeper into Kalen every day, and her Sorcerer was losing ground. This was bad. So very, very bad. Did Nick know how far the alliance had gotten between the two of them? He must have some idea. Would he follow through with his threat to execute Kalen? She couldn’t bear thinking about that.

  What had Kalen been about to say about why she should trust him, give him another chance? Two things she was almost certain of—Malik had stopped him. And if he had, the Unseelie must’ve had a good reason. That meant there was something specific the creep didn’t want her to know.

  Why not simply stop Kalen from being with her at all? Now that he had Kalen, perhaps Malik didn’t consider her to be a big enough threat to warrant denying his new apprentice a bit of pleasure.

  “That’s just sick,” she muttered, tracing the beads of moisture on her water glass.

  Recalling the night she’d spent with Kalen a few weeks ago, when the horrible Unseelie had come to her in a nightmare and attempted to sway her to his side, haunted her a lot these days. Because now she understood that it had been a ruse to get the Sorcerer to part with his amulet, to give it to Mac for her protection.

  Leaving him vulnerable to Malik’s twisted desires.

  Why Kalen? He couldn’t be the only powerful magic user in the universe. Why did he, in particular, matter so much to the Unseelie? Mac didn’t believe Malik’s choice was random.

  She shouldn’t care about Kalen’s problems after the way he’d dropped her and walked away. But his problems were the whole team’s, and now hers as well.

  Okay, if she was honest with herself, concern for the rest of the Pack wasn’t the only reason she cared. If she was a lesser person—or maybe a smarter person—she might walk away from him. Leave him to his fate.

  But he was the father of their child. The more she got to know him, the more clearly she could see the kind of man he could be—would be—when he finally found his center. His inner peace. The wonderful lover and friend he could be as well.

  She remembered how passionately he’d made love to her. There had been no deception in his touch, only pure need. That night, the man who’d held her close had been a man born to love. A man who’d had so little of it given to him in his life.

  Glancing up, she spotted him returning, his gait slow and easy, like his half smile when he saw her watching. A wave of fierce protectiveness took her breath away and she knew one thing—

  She was going to be the woman to give this man the love he deserved.

  And she’d pray like hell the Sorcerer didn’t crush her trust in his fist.

  * * *

  Kalen hurried to the men’s room and ducked inside, trying to stem the flow of blood running from his nose. His head hurt so goddamned bad, it was like an ice pick being stabbed right through his temple and into his brain.

  Leaning over the sink, he turned on the water. His stomach lurched as he watched the blood swirl down the drain. Ironic that he could kill a dozen Sluagh and not bat an eyelash over the slimy gore, but a nosebleed made him queasy. Not that the stabbing in his head helped.

  “Son of a bitch,” he rasped. Cupping the running water, he splashed his face, rinsing until the liquid became clear. Gradually the spike driving through his skull withdrew, leaving him shaken. Tired. Bracing his palms on the counter, he sucked in deep breaths.

  You will not tell your woman, my boy. Not until our plan is well in motion. She is too soft to understand what must be done and why.

  “You and your damned world domination,” he hissed, anger at himself boiling his blood. He should’ve been stronger. Put up more resistance against Malik’s evil. “What have I sold my soul for, you bastard? Just so you can rule the world, murdering anyone who resists you?”

  He received no answer. But he did hear a shuffle to his right, and when he glanced around, he almost groaned to see a man standing uncertainly in the doorway, eyeing him as though he’d lost his mind. Fuck.

  “Sorry,” Kalen muttered, heading for the exit. “Not feeling so good, ya know?”

  The guy gave him a wan smile. “Hey, it happens.”

  Brushing past him, Kalen pushed out into the restaurant again, cursing the man’s rotten timing. He probably thought Kalen was on drugs, or worse.

  What do you care for the opinion of some weak human? Today he might sneer, but he is a lesser being. After we’ve taken control of the earth, he’ll get on his knees and vow his allegiance to us both, or he’ll die.

  “Shut up,” he said under his breath.

  Don’t forget how much you’ll savor bringing low all of those who’ve done you grievous wrong in the past. Remember how your heart gladdened to see Billy suffer for his terrible transgressions, and know that the pleasure will be tenfold when justice is delivered by your own hand.

  The hypnotic voice lulled him, the lust for power snaking through his groin. An image was thrust into his head of the redneck tormenting his family. Then getting his just desserts. Yeah, he’d make sure assholes like that never hurt anyone else. God, it would feel so good to wrap his hands around that fat neck and—

  “Kalen!”

  Someone gave him a gentle shake, and he realized that fingers were lightly gripping his arm. Blinking, he found himself staring into Mac’s worried face. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Where did you go this time? I called your name twice.”

  Suddenly he saw that he was standing in the middle of the restaurant like a statue, a few feet from their table. Jesus, he must look like a crazy person to everyone there. He noted a handful of curious stares. Raising his voice a little, he gave a short laugh and said for the benefit of those nearby, “Did you? Must’ve zoned out. I was trying to remember if I left my cell phone in the bathroom.” He made a show of patting his pockets. “I can’t find—oh, wait. Here it is. Stupid, huh?”

  Her expression told him she knew what he was doing, but she didn’t pursue it with others in earshot. Taking his hand, she led him back to their table. “Do you want dessert?”

  “Not unless you do. Whatever you want, honey.”

  “Nah, I’m good.”


  He needed out of there. The atmosphere was abruptly claustrophobic and he had to vamoose, now. Not away from Mackenzie, but out of the building. Waving over their waitress, he mustered polite calm and requested the bill. They waited in silence, eyeing each other until it came and he paid, temporarily avoiding the elephant in the room.

  Outside, Mackenzie took his hand as they walked to the car. “Okay, tell me what happened in there. Why did you rush to the restroom?”

  “Nosebleed.”

  “Malik?” Kalen nodded, and her blue eyes went steely. “He did that to shut you up, to stop you from telling me you went to see him last night, didn’t he? That bastard! We’re going to find a way to beat him, sweetie. You just hang on. Do you hear me?”

  “Yeah.” Christ, he hoped she was right.

  And that was when he realized that the Unseelie wasn’t in his head. That the awful dark thirst for blood and vengeance seemed to have lifted for the time being. “He’s gone. I don’t feel him anymore.”

  “For good?” At his look, her spark of enthusiasm vanished. “Of course not. That would be too easy.”

  “It’s a ray of hope, anyway.” However thin.

  He was sure the reprieve now, and earlier in the car, had to do with the doc. He just had to figure out how, specifically. He mulled it over as his date pulled from the parking lot and onto the road, and for several minutes afterward. Until her sweet scent caught his attention as it had on the way to the restaurant.

  Vanilla and roses. That was the tantalizing aroma making his senses tingle and his cock fill. In addition, the scent seemed deeper than before, richer somehow. His panther awakened, stretching, purring in joy at the familiar scent. The beast welcomed it and yearned to get close to the amazing presence of its mate once again.

  Mate?

  Quickly he envisioned a wall of solid steel around him, desperately trying to seal his thoughts from Malik.

  No. She couldn’t be his mate. Could she? Why had that word popped into his head? How could he know for sure? He’d seen what had happened to Jax and Aric when they’d met their mates—they’d gotten sicker until it was either claim their mates or die. But that hadn’t happened to Kalen. He felt completely fine—well, other than Malik’s horrible influence.

  Admittedly, as a Sorcerer he was different. So his panther might be wrong about the mate thing.

  Inside, it growled in displeasure at the direction of his thoughts. Never had his other half been so vocal, so certain of what he wanted. His cat strained insistently, longing to shift, to rub his scent all over the woman, bite her, mark her for all to see. Kalen imagined doing just that, with his cock buried deep inside her warm, wet sheath. For the first time, instead of having to summon his panther, Kalen had to concentrate to hold him back.

  The beast roared and he channeled his energy into soothing it. Imagining a pool of clear blue surrounded by a tropical oasis, he poured a stream of calming light over his cat until it subsided, curling up again with a huff of annoyance. Still not satisfied in its wants, but tame once more.

  “You sure you’re all right?” she asked.

  He’d been off in his head again, and she’d been studying him the whole time. What did she see when she looked at him? A mess not worth keeping? He shifted uncomfortably. “I am now.”

  “Is that the first time that’s happened?” She gestured to his face in general.

  He nodded. “Yeah. Seems like he’s got a trick or three up his sleeve to keep me in line.”

  “Are you going to talk to Nick about this and about last night?” Mackenzie asked softly.

  “I’m going to try. And hope he doesn’t shoot me for real.”

  “That’s not funny.”

  “Wasn’t meant to be.”

  “Do you want me to go with you to see him?”

  Not having to face the boss alone was tempting. But the urge to protect her from the ugly reality of his situation was stronger—though it might be far too late. “I appreciate the moral support, but I’d better talk to him alone.”

  “Okay. Just know the offer stands.”

  “Thanks. That’s more than I deserve from you.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that.” A soft, secretive smile curved her lips.

  A spark of light beamed through the gloom. “So you’re not going to make me beg for another chance? You never did answer me, you know.”

  “No, I didn’t,” she agreed, sobering some. “To be honest, I’m not sure how to answer because I don’t know where this sudden change of heart is coming from.”

  “It may seem like it’s coming from nowhere to you, but it’s not sudden for me,” he admitted, gut churning. “I didn’t want to walk away in the first place. I just . . . I know I’m about the worst thing that could ever happen to you, especially right now. But I can’t stop wanting you.”

  The words came out raw, as if scraped with sandpaper. At least they were on the table, whatever she might decide. God, he was so afraid of the horror he could bring into her life. He was even more afraid of living his alone, with nothing but the temptation of evil for company.

  “Wanting isn’t the same as needing,” she said softly. Her tone was contemplative rather than accusing. “Anyone can want something they don’t need, or that isn’t good for them.”

  He couldn’t refute that, so he didn’t try.

  Mackenzie fell silent, brow furrowed in thought as she drove. Kalen wondered if she thought less of him because of his choice of wording, but what he knew about women and how their brains worked wouldn’t fill the toes of his boots.

  He’d been so lost in pondering the dilemma of the doc that it took him a few moments to realize she’d turned off the main highway and onto a dirt and gravel road that was little better than a path beaten out of the weeds.

  “Um, where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.”

  “Finally decide to just take me out and shoot me yourself? Save Nick the trouble?”

  “You’re awfully preoccupied with being shot.”

  Because I deserve it. “Not really. Just curious about where you’re taking me.”

  With a quick smile, she guided the car down the path, until at last it ended at a grassy clearing. Nearby was a creek and beyond that, a stand of trees where the forest resumed on the other side. The spot was beautiful, serene, and he told her so.

  “This is gorgeous. It looks real peaceful.”

  She shrugged, but appeared pleased that he liked it. “That’s why I come here sometimes, just to think. I’ve even brought a small picnic for one a couple of times, complete with a bottle of wine.”

  That seemed sort of lonely and sad, but he could hardly cast stones in the loner department, so he kept his opinion to himself. “What about your friends I met at the bar? You haven’t brought them out here?”

  “Amy and Shannon? No, they’re good friends, but this place is mine.”

  “But you brought me,” he pointed out, puzzled. “Why me and not them?”

  “Because it’s the sort of place you share with somebody special,” she said, fixing him with those pretty blue eyes.

  “Oh.” His throat threatened to close up nice and tight. “Nobody’s ever called me that, except maybe Grandma.” Of course, that hadn’t been the same at all.

  Reaching out, she cupped his cheek. He couldn’t help but lean in to her touch as she stroked, his cat stretching and purring in contentment.

  “You are special,” she said quietly, eyes growing moist. “You’re amazing, talented, smart, and caring. And oh yeah, drop-dead gorgeous, too. You should be told those things every day of your life, and I’m sorry no one has until now.”

  Before he could respond, she leaned toward him, lips pressing against his. The touch was electric, shooting a bolt of sheer bliss through every cell in his body. Her lips were soft, gentle, searching. He opened at her insistence, met her questing tongue with his own, tasted her sweetness.

  There had been no kisses in his life. No joy until Mackenzie. H
e couldn’t walk away again. He wasn’t that strong.

  When at last they broke apart, she gave him a soft smile. “How about we go for a walk?”

  “Sounds good,” he managed.

  Getting out, they met at the front of the car and automatically joined hands. He let her lead them across the clearing and simply appreciated the scenery—mostly the woman at his side. Just her presence was a balm to his troubled soul and he realized that though he’d forgotten to check his mental shields against Malik in the last few minutes, all was still calm in his head. He had no doubt she was the reason.

  At the opposite end of the clearing, under the shade of the trees, was a creek. It wasn’t wide, just a few feet across, and as they approached he saw it wasn’t more than shin-deep. “Great spot. I can see why you like to come here.”

  “Isn’t it beautiful? I like to sit on that grassy spot under the trees and just listen to the water, the birds, whatever else is moving. Day music, I call it. The sounds are much different than at night.”

  His protective streak reared its head. “You don’t come out here at night, I hope?”

  “No, silly.” She patted his chest. “I’m not that stupid.”

  “Of course not. I just want you to be safe.” Well, that was the mother of all ironies, considering she was with probably the most dangerous person around.

  “I am. Don’t worry, I never venture into the forest at night alone, unlike your Pack brothers when they have to let their wolves loose. Come on.”

  Tugging at his hand, she led him to her preferred spot, which was spongy and comfortable. Putting his back to a tree, he pulled her to sit between his spread legs, her back to his front. After giving him a look of surprise, and a bit of pleasure, he thought, she settled in and relaxed against him. He absolutely loved her warmth against him, her body pliant and trusting in his arms.

  “I take it we’re playing hooky this afternoon?” he murmured in her ear, wrapping his arms around her middle.

  “Mmm. For a little while, if that’s all right with you.”