by Reid, Angela
Less than a half hour later, law enforcement arrived in a cloud of dust, at least five cars. The first three belonged to Florida State Troopers, and the rest were federal agents. I sat in the Lexus with the air running to keep the baby cool. A chopper landed next to the motorcade, and Cade jumped out of it before the skids were even touching the ground. I got out of the car with Cayden in my arms and met him halfway across the expanse as the rest of the men fanned out to secure the perimeter.
He grabbed my shoulders, looking me up and down, to assess for damage. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, no one hurt me, and Cayden is fine too,” I said, handing him his son. He gently took the baby and held him close, and then he pulled me into him with his free arm. “What were you thinking, Ellia? Jesus, you scared me. What the fuck?”
“I did exactly what you would’ve done,” I answered, pulling away from him.
Law enforcement surrounded us as the questions flew. “What happened? How did you get him? Where’s Willow?”
I told them everything from start to finish, crying my way through the violent parts. My adrenaline had pooled at me feet, leaving me exhausted and ready to take my baby home.
Cade had a rough grip on my arm. “So, he just shot her, and that was it? He didn’t ask you if that’s what you wanted--he didn’t give you the chance to spare her life?” Her death had him rattled and angry.
“I’m sorry, Cade,” I said, prying his fingers from my upper arm.
“Are you though?” he asked, as he handed our hungry baby back and walked away.
I wasn’t sure what he’d meant by the remark. Does he blame me for not saving her? Oh my God, he is more upset about her death than he is happy to have his son back. What is wrong with this picture? His reaction sheared me to the bone. I had already explained what happened. It went down too fast for me to do anything. I got in the backseat of the Lexus to feed Cayden.
At first, the baby seemed disinterested. Willow bottle fed him for over two weeks, and my spirit dipped further, worrying I’d lost that connection with him. But, after several attempts, he latched on, and I covered myself with his blanket. A grateful prayer fell from my lips, and then I then sang to my boy while he nursed. I watched the agents talking to Cade, and he glanced at me more than once; but I wouldn’t meet his eyes, not wanting to see his disappointment in me. I stared at my son instead and felt whole again. Agent Roberts opened the door and looked in at me.
“Ellia,” he said, “are you sure your father didn’t tell you where they planned to go next? What were they were driving? I realize you are grateful for what he did in getting your son back, but he is a fugitive. Remember, he is dangerous. I hope you won’t protect him out of some sense of gratitude.”
I resented the remark, and the anger coiled inside me. After all this time, what kind of person do they think I am? “I told you all, word for word, every single thing they said. I gave you every fucking detail of what happened. He did not tell me where he had been or where he planned to go, and I didn’t ask. I don’t care, Agent Roberts. Any information about him only makes me a target to his enemies again. I have no sense of loyalty to him, and I resent you implying such a thing. He let a man torture and rape, both my mother and I, and he ultimately let my brother die. Yes, I am grateful for the return of my son, since you, nor the rest of the FBI could manage it, but that is only a feeling, not an action. You, and Cade, and the entire Bureau can go to hell. Leave me alone, you are letting the air-conditioning out, and it’s hot.”
“Okay,” he said, looking chided. He closed the door. I burped Cayden and then put him on the other side to nurse a little more. Lucas pulled up, along with a coroner’s car, and he was the next one to address me.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “Jesus, Ellia, you should have let Cade know where you were going …or me. Taking off like that was crazy.”
“Let me know if that’s what you would do if you ever have a child abducted, Lucas. Cade works for the FBI; he’s not just the father of the baby. I couldn’t tell anyone. Either of you would’ve done the same thing, so don’t lecture me. As I have already stated to Cade and your colleagues, Marisha warned me not to involve any law enforcement. You can sit in judgement all you want, but, guess what, I don’t care. I have my son, and he is all that matters. The rest is your fucking problem, Lucas.” The joy of having Cayden in my arms tamped down my resentment to a tolerable level.
“What’s wrong, Ellia?” he asked, motioning for me to scoot over in the seat. He slid in beside me as the tears rolled down my face. I looked out the window as Cade observed the interaction, but I ignored him.
“Why are you so mad when you should be nothing but happy in this moment? What’s going on with you?”
“I am happy, at least to have Cayden, but …” My voice broke. “But the price was watching two people have their heads blown off in front of me. My dad is so far gone, he really believed killing them would make amends with me.” The sobbing took over as the anger drained away from me. “I am sickened by it, and it’s an image I can’t erase. Cade is disappointed in me because I couldn’t save Willow, or maybe it’s because he knows me so well. He sees that some part of me is glad she and Lischka are dead. They were both a threat to my son and me, and now they aren’t. I shouldn’t have to feel guilty over this, and I am angry at him for thinking I should. Roberts thinks I’d protect my dad out of a distorted sense of loyalty. They’ve made me feel like I am the criminal, Lucas.”
He put his hand on my arm and worked it down my forearm until our fingers locked. “Don’t apologize for your feelings, Ellia, you are entitled to them. I am sure Cade isn’t mad at you, he just feels terrible about Willow. He has always believed that she took Cayden out of some misplaced idea she was saving him, not out of malicious jealousy against you. Willow was always devoted to Cade, no matter what they went through, personal and professional, and he doesn’t take that kind of loyalty lightly. She was not thinking clearly when she took Cayden. You’ve dealt with enough shit in your life to understand that sometimes people do crazy things when they feel desperate. Don’t be too hard on Cade. He has been through hell.”
I didn’t get a chance to respond. Cade was at the car door and opened it. Lucas dropped my hand like a hot poker. “Lucas, can I speak to Ellia, alone please?” he asked. I couldn’t tell if he was red from anger or the blazing Floridian sun.
“Sure no problem,” Lucas said, getting out of the car. He looked back and gave me a smile and pat on the knee. “Hang in there, El.” The two men exchanged a look but nothing was spoken between them.
Cade slid in and shut the door, watching me as I moved Cayden to my opposite shoulder to burp him. He put his hand on the back of my head and pulled my face close to his, kissing my lips carefully. “Are you okay?” he asked. “You were crying again when Lucas was in here, so tell me the truth. Please talk to me, not him. I want to be here for you if you’ll let me.”
“Oh really? It seems clear I can’t converse with you about Willow. We see her in strikingly different ways, and you will always defend her as a good, misguided soul. After everything she put us through, you have the nerve to act disappointed in me for not saving her. Should I have jumped in front of that bullet, Cade? Would that have been a more satisfying ending for you?” I asked.
“Of course not,” he said softly. “God, Ellia, I didn’t mean it like that, but I don’t hate Willow like you do because I knew her better than you did. I would never want you to give your life for her, though, and if I implied that, then I am sorry.” He growled and ran his hands through his hair. “Shit, I don’t know why I even said that to you. I guess I just never imagined things ending like this, and it hurts because I genuinely cared about her. Best case scenario, Willow came to her senses, gave Cayden back, and then got some help.” He paused and took my hand. “El, she was my rock through some of the darkest days of my life, the only thing keeping me alive at times. Even though you can’t understand it, I cared about her, and I don’t feel she
deserved to die.” I didn’t respond. Even though I understood his pain, I couldn’t reach out to him on this.
Cayden finished burping, and Cade smiled down at him, rubbing his hand over his son’s hair. He looked up at me, his eyes full of the love. “Let’s get him home.” I nodded as he said, “We’ll find a vehicle and get out of here.”
“Cade,” I said, stopping him. “My dad and his wife said the Lexus was mine to keep. What am I supposed to do with it?” He opened the passenger side door and got in the glove box, locating the registration and the insurance. Both documents held my name. He called a state trooper over and gave him the paperwork.
“Run this and see what you get” He told the officer. “Why would they give you this car?” he asked me while motioning another officer over to us.
“I don’t know, they just said it was mine,” I replied.
“Ellia, go put Cayden in that black Lincoln over there,” he ordered, back in full FBI mode. He grabbed Cayden’s car seat, checking it over thoroughly, and then strapped it in the backseat of the government issued vehicle. “Stay in there, okay?” he asked, looking serious. He spoke to the officer whom he had summoned. “I want that Lexus fully detailed. Get a dog in here.” The man nodded and went to do as ordered. Cade commanded everyone to move their vehicles back until someone cleared the car.
“What are you doing?” I asked, once I had Cayden safely tucked away in the cooling interior of the Lincoln, ignoring his directions to stay inside the vehicle. “What do you think is wrong with the car?”
“I have no idea, Ellia, but I don’t trust your father. Please get in the Lincoln until we know it’s safe.” The trooper returned, and the documents for the Lexus were valid.
“Cade,” I said, drawing his attention back to me. “Everything was so chaotic, I forgot that my dad said he left a surprise in the trunk for you. I didn’t even think of it until now, I’m sorry.”
“Everybody stand clear until the dog gets here,” yelled Cade to his colleagues. “Apparently, Meyers left a gift for me inside the trunk.” The police and FBI agents cleared a wide perimeter around the potential danger while Roberts called in a bomb squad with the dogs.
“Why would he put explosives in there, Cade? Why go to all this trouble to make amends with me, only to turn around and kill all of us?” I asked, confused.
“Who knows why that bastard does anything? He wants to kill me, not you. Isn’t that obvious?” He seemed impatient with me.
“Why would he want to kill you, knowing what you mean to me? It makes no sense. He saved you when we were kids, for that very reason.”
“That’s his story, but now the answer is obvious. I work for the FBI, and he knows I’m coming for him. Don’t you think that is motive enough?” He glared at me as my eyes filled with tears again. His face softened when he saw my distress, and he kissed my cheek. “I hope I’m wrong about the car, for your sake. No matter what he has done, he is still your father, and I understand a part of you wants to find goodness in him. Maybe it’s no different than what I felt about Willow. Your dad is not right, though, El. He has mental problems, you must see that, so his motivation could be anything. I want you to stay behind the cars.”
The dogs arrived on site and went to work, wasting no time before entering into a barking frenzy. Cade’s suspicions were correct. My father and Marisha rigged a bomb in the trunk. My face fell into my hands as I sobbed. We might’ve all died if any of us had opened the lid. The idea broke my heart all over again, for the millionth time, and I wondered how many pieces a heart could lose before it ceased to function. How could my dad be so cruel and utterly sadistic? Why did he hate me so much? Why did he even go to the trouble to give me Cayden back, when he planned to kill us all anyway?
Cade came up and put his arms around me. “I’m sorry, El, I know you hoped for a box of candy, but you have to remember who we are dealing with here.”
The reality that my little family would never be safe until my father was dead, or brought to justice, overwhelmed me. Cade stroked my face. “He intended the bomb for me, not you or Cayden.”
“It makes no difference. He didn’t care a bit if that bomb killed all of us. As long as he is alive, we will never be safe or free of this violence. My dad murdered Camerson so I wouldn’t have to testify, but what about the next shady deal? The whole thing just makes me sick.” I sighed heavily. “I am so tired of being a victim to his evilness. How could he say he wanted to see me happy and then do this? I don’t understand him at all. Can we please just take our son and go home?” I begged, the tears streaming down my face.
He exhaled, as if getting ready to divulge more devastating news. “El, I was ready to do just that, but in light of what’s happened, I feel it’s important to finish what I started. I have to find your father and his wife. Like you said, this thing will never end until he is eradicated or put in prison.”
“Why does it have to be you?”
“I became a part of this the day I was born, simply by inheriting my father’s name. It didn’t just start with you and me. Bradley Meyers waged a war, leaving you and me to finish it. I can’t walk away with this much unfinished business. When I set aside my goals for you, it made sense because you are the most important thing in my life, but the imminent danger Camerson presented, has passed. We are so close to nailing your dad, I can taste it. It’s time I stop playing house and get this done. Please, I am begging you to stand by me in this decision. I love you with every ounce of my being, and I want to make this a safe world for you and Cayden. Can you do this? Will you support me?”
I wanted to scream at him and tell him I needed him, but that would be selfish. He’d come home with me if I insisted, but it would lead to tension and resentment, so I had to let him go. “I will support your decision,” I said sadly.
He kissed my cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered in my ear, giving me chills. “Wait here, I need to talk to Rodriquez and Roberts.” He kissed me again and opened the car door for me. Having no other choice, I got in the backseat next to Cayden. He was sleeping, and I leaned over to brush my lips on his forehead. Cade smiled at me and shut the door.
Cade paced outside the car while talking on his phone. He looked furious again. Rodriquez and Roberts, stood listening intently until Cade handed the phone to Lucas. He wore his irritated, angry face, one that seemed to be more permanent these days, as he ran his hands over his hair. When Lucas put the cell back in his hand, Cade’s demeanor changed to satisfied. He got his way, whatever way that was. He hung up and jogged to the car.
“Ellia, we’ve picked up a lead on your dad and Marisha so I have to leave right now. Rodriquez will fly you and Cayden home. Are you okay with that?” he asked. I wanted to be truthful and say no, but he would go anyway. Cade was obsessed with bringing my dad to justice. He’d set me aside before, and I knew he would again. I tried to understand, but it still hurt my feelings. We’d just gotten our son back, which should take priority above all else, but Cade had his own idea of what took precedence.
“Hurry home,” I said, avoiding his eyes. I knew he’d see the truth there if I looked at him. He kissed me on the head and told me he loved me, and then he was in another car with Agent Roberts, racing away from me again.
Lucas opened the door. “There are tickets waiting at the airport for us. Buckle up the baby and we’ll get moving.” He shut the door and got in the driver’s seat. “You okay?” he asked over his shoulder.
“As okay as I can be, I guess,” I said, staring at my sleeping baby.
Chapter 20
It was an emotional reunion with my mother, and a week after I brought Cayden home, we all slipped into an easy routine. He was a good baby and often slept through the night, at least when I didn’t accidentally wake him with my night terrors. Cayden had been declared in excellent health by the pediatrician, and I had to give Willow credit for at least that much. She’d taken excellent care of him, and Cayden was none the wiser. Bonding didn’t seem to be an issue as I fea
red, either.
The ever present fear of my father’s return tortured me, especially at night when every noise became an imagined intruder. Although Cade called me nightly, right before I went to bed, it wasn’t the same. Loneliness became a normal part of my existence as it had in the years when I thought he was dead. Cade was on his way out of the country the last time we’d spoken, and he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to call again. I expected as much, so wasn’t devastated by the news. I was a single mother, and I had to come to grips with that.
A part of me was letting him go, and I wondered if we were ever really meant to be together. It seemed there would always be something keeping us a part, and I was tired of allowing my heart to chase after him with a yearning that was never satisfied for very long. A wall had cropped up between us, and its construction had started with Cayden’s disappearance, and I didn’t know how to scale it with thousands of miles between us. I worried that his hatred for my father was tainting his feelings for me. He was often distant when he called, just wanting to deal with the facts of the day, like how Cayden was doing. My only hope was that my father would be found soon, and he would come home to me. I hoped it wouldn’t be too late to repair whatever was happening between us.
Lucas returned to his field office in Detroit, but he called almost every day to check on me. Most days, I felt more comfortable talking to him than to Cade, and I didn’t have to worry about my desolate feelings causing Lucas any guilt or worry. He became a positive and uplifting influence in my life, and I loved him for it. We had many conversations about my relationship uncertainties.
“Don’t worry Ellia, you guys will be fine when this over. Sometimes when we work a case, it has to be our sole focus. He isn’t shutting you out because he doesn’t love you, he is just trying to do his job and get back to you and the baby. I never get into relationships anymore. The job is hell on the spouse. Divorce rate is high amongst law enforcement, as you know. I’ve already been there once myself. You and Cade have overcome unbelievable odds to be together, and I know you will find a way to make it work. How about I come up this weekend and take you out to dinner. Let’s get your mind off things for a little while.”
