Perfect Wreckage

by Cowles, Catherine

  My vision went blurry, and the voices in the room turned fuzzy. I couldn’t hear Crosby’s objections or the rest of my mother’s testimony. I could only stare at my knees. The stockings I’d painstakingly put on today, so incredibly careful not to get a single snag or tear. I’d thought if I had my armor in place, nothing could hurt me. How wrong I’d been.

  I went through the motions when I was called to the stand and repeated after the sworn statement. I answered Crosby’s questions and then the ones from Hotchkiss. I wasn’t sure how. I forgot what they asked the moment after I answered. The only inquiries that stuck with me were the ones Crosby asked about my childhood. He asked them with a silent apology in his eyes, knowing that I didn’t want the world to see what I’d worked so hard to hide. But it didn’t matter. Everything would be exposed now. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

  When court adjourned, Crosby and Bell hurried me out of the room and the building, guiding me down the steps and into Crosby’s truck. When we were all firmly situated inside, Bell let out a sigh. “Well, that was seriously messed up.”

  Crosby gripped the steering wheel, even though the vehicle wasn’t in motion. “They’re upping the game. Playing dirtier. I just wish I knew what their next move was.”

  “I told you this was going to happen.” My voice sounded dead, even to my own ears.

  Bell leaned forward between the seats. “You’re not going to stop fighting, are you?”

  A part of me wanted to. I wanted to run fast and hard. I made enough at my job to rent a decent place in town, maybe even buy something. It would be mine and mine alone. There would be no threats or memories hanging over my head. But I couldn’t do that to Harriet. She wanted The Gables to be a home full of messy life, the ups and downs of it, but with joy through it all. I was going to find a way to make that happen for her. But not just for Harriet. For myself, too. Because I deserved a life full of that messy joy. I wasn’t sure what it would look like just yet, but I’d figure it out along the way.

  “She’s smiling,” Bell whispered.

  Crosby chuckled. “I think that means she’s planning.” He tucked a strand of hair that had fallen free of my bun behind my ear. “You okay, Brown Eyes?”

  “No. I’m not okay. But I will be.”

  35

  Crosby

  I let out a growl of frustration as I pushed back from my desk. I’d been digging through Janet Morgan’s arrest record, reaching out to Kenna’s old teachers who were still on the island, neighbors from the house Kenna had spent the early years of her life in, anyone who might help convince a judge that Janet was a manipulative liar. Judge Moore was no fool, but I wasn’t sure we had enough for him to discount Janet’s testimony completely. I wanted a slam dunk, and that seemed nearly impossible when all I had were sworn statements that basically amounted to opinions.

  “You need to take a break.”

  I looked up to find Penny leaning against the doorjamb of my office. “I don’t have time for a break.”

  She made a tsking sound and gave me her patented mom stare. “You’ll make a lot more progress if you give your brain a rest. Get up and go outside. Breathe some fresh air, feel the sun on your face. Take a walk and get some lunch. You’re no good to anyone if your eyes are crossing.”

  She had a point. I’d read the same page of a police report three times in the past ten minutes. “How’d you get so wise?”

  “Raised three boys who gave me gray hair before I turned forty.”

  I chuckled. Those boys doted on their mother, but she loved to bemoan all the torture they put her through in their childhood and teen years. “I think they keep you young.”

  Penny rolled her eyes heavenward. “More like give me weekly heart attacks. Now, come on. Get up and get going.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I gave a little salute as I pushed to my feet. My back muscles protested the action—too many hours in one position. A walk to loosen everything up was just what I needed. I had the urge to head towards Cornerstone, to check in on Kenna and see how she was holding up. I could couch it in an offer to take her to lunch, but I knew she’d see right through it. And Kenna would see the check-in as me thinking she was weak. Fragile. But that wasn’t the case, I was simply worried.

  I grabbed my sunglasses, wallet, and phone from my desk drawer and shoved them into my pocket. “You want anything from The Catch?”

  Penny’s lips pursed. “I brought a salad for lunch, but I wouldn’t mind some onion rings to go with it.”

  “Coming right up.” I headed out into the sunshine, slipping on my sunglasses and starting the trek to The Catch. As soon as my feet were moving, my mind was filled with thoughts of Kenna again. The look on her face when her mother was called to the stand. How she’d turned off every emotion as I asked questions about her childhood in open court. And she’d been just a little bit distant since then.

  I was sure some subconscious part of her was angry at me for my questions. Kenna was a private person. Understandably so. And I had made the childhood she was so embarrassed by a matter of public record.

  I scrubbed a hand over my jaw and fought the urge to kick something. I hated any hint of distance between Kenna and me. The realization had my steps faltering. How long had it been since I’d spent the night away from her? I’d lost track. My days felt off when I didn’t check in at least once or twice to see how she was doing or vice versa. Whether my evenings were spent paddleboarding or watching mindless tv, they just weren’t as fun if I wasn’t with her. Without me knowing it, I’d somehow slipped into an actual relationship.

  I waited for the panic to come. That suffocating feeling of being hemmed in by responsibility and expectation. It never took root. Kenna didn’t make me feel restrained. She made my freedom even sweeter. Hell, I was falling for the woman. The knowledge of that truth, the power of it, had a small flicker of anxiety lighting in my gut. I tamped it down, refusing to let myself go down some future trip of what-if.

  I started walking towards The Catch again, a riot of emotions zinging around in my body. My eyes narrowed as I got closer. A woman was getting out of a Mustang so new it didn’t have license plates. A woman I recognized. “Good afternoon, Janet.”

  Her head snapped in my direction, and her chin jutted out. “Mr. McCoy.”

  “New wheels?”

  Her expression faltered for the briefest of moments before she smiled. “I think she was made for me, don’t you?”

  The cherry red of the car matched Janet’s talon-like nails. “I certainly see some similarities. When did you get it?”

  Her lips thinned. “Today. A little present for myself after everything I was put through yesterday.”

  Everything she was put through? I had the sudden urge to pull out my keys and rake them down the side of that pristine paint job. It seemed Janet never had to feel the consequences of her actions; it was always her daughter who paid the price. Janet could lie and manipulate, but still somehow walked away with a brand-new set of wheels. Meanwhile, Kenna was sent reeling and forced to relive some of the most painful moments of her past.

  I gave Janet a smile, but I could feel the feral edge of it. “I’m pretty sure you’ll get exactly what’s coming to you one of these days.” I could only hope it was true.

  Janet gasped, but I ignored her, pushing on towards my destination. I pulled open the front door, the muted sounds of seventies rock and the smell of fried food greeting me. It was usually a balm, the familiarity giving me a sense of peace. But today, it barely registered. Not with the exchange with Janet circling around in my brain.

  “Hey, man,” Ford greeted from behind the bar.

  “Hey.” I pulled out the stool next to Bell, who sat eating what looked like a BLT with cheese.

  She paused with her sandwich halfway to her mouth. “Are you okay?”

  I blinked, trying to clear my thoughts. “I just ran into Janet. She was driving a brand-new Mustang. What do you think the chances are that she just saved up for that c
ar?”

  Bell dropped her sandwich to her plate. “I’d say slim to none. That bitch.”

  Ford slid a beer down the bar to another customer. “You think Grant paid her off?”

  “I doubt there’s any paper trail, but I think it’s likely.”

  Bell’s hands gripped the edge of the bar, her knuckles going white. “I want to drop-kick that entire family to Antarctica. But first, I’d like to knot Grant’s balls so tight they pop off.”

  Ford choked. “Geez, Trouble. Remind me not to piss you off.”

  Her gaze jumped to him. “You only know the tip of the iceberg of what he put her through. That family has ice-cold blood running through their veins. How they came from Harriet, I’ll never know.”

  I gave Bell’s shoulder a squeeze. I sympathized with her desire to see the Abbot family pay. But by the time court had finished yesterday, my jaw had ached from holding myself back. “They deserve worse than Antarctica.”

  Bell surveyed my expression, searching for something. “She told you.”

  I nodded. “She did.” I didn’t offer anything else. It was clear that Ford didn’t know the full story, and it wasn’t my place to enlighten him. What Kenna had shared with me about losing her baby and all the turmoil that had surrounded the loss was a most personal and intimate gift. I wouldn’t share it with another person.

  “I—I can’t believe she told you. She doesn’t talk about it. Ever. Not to me. Or Caelyn. Or even Harriet. She’s locked it inside for so long.” Tears filled Bell’s eyes, and Ford was immediately rounding the counter to wrap her in his arms. “I’ve been so worried about her for so long. She stuffs it all down. Thinks she can control the emotions that way. But I know it’s been slowly eating away at her. You—you’ve been so good for her.”

  I shifted on my stool, the praise suddenly making my skin feel too tight for my body. “I was just there at the right time.” And I wouldn’t let her shut me out. I felt a little guilty for how I had pushed, threatened to leave. But I didn’t regret it. Knowing the full picture of who Kenna was, hearing how strong she was at the worst of times, seeing into that tender heart…it had made me fall for the incredible woman.

  Bell shook her head fervently. “No. You two have something special. But I see that fear in your eyes, Crosby. Don’t hurt her because you’re not ready to make the leap.”

  I had already made the leap, whether I wanted to or not. I was gone for the woman with her amber eyes and shields of stone. I just hoped I survived the fall.

  36

  Kenna

  The phone on my desk rang, and I let out a muttered curse. It was one of those days where nothing seemed to go right. I’d almost poked my eye out with my eyeliner that morning. I’d spilled coffee on my skirt. And I’d been working on the same payroll accounts for far too long. Logically, I knew that it would take some time to shake off the events of yesterday. But I didn’t do well with not working at an optimal level.

  I picked up the phone. “Hello, this is Kenna Morgan.”

  “Kenna, it’s Chris. Would you please come to my office?”

  My stomach sank. What did he want to chew me out about now? I’d followed my time off requests to the letter. Sure, I was leaving at five p.m. like the rest of the office more often lately instead of staying until seven or eight. But, so what? “Of course. I’ll be over in just a minute.”

  I hung up and pushed to my feet, attempting to flatten the wrinkles in my skirt. Thankfully, the material was black, so the coffee stain didn’t show, but I knew it was there, and just the knowledge seemed to throw me off my game. “Get it together, Kenna. Show no fear.”

  I held my head high as I wove through cubicles to Chris’s office at the front of the building. I gave a light knock on the open door. Chris waved me forward. “Come in. And close the door, would you?”

  My palms dampened as I shut the door. It was rare that we required privacy for meetings. Usually, doors were wide-open, and voices never hushed. I eased into one of the two chairs opposite Chris. “What did you want to talk about?”

  An expression of concern filled his face, but it was as fake as the stomach pains a kid moaned about the morning of a big test he hadn’t studied for. “It seems like you’ve been struggling lately.”

  My shoulder blades drew together as my spine stiffened. “I have some personal things going on, but I don’t believe I’ve let that impact my work.” In fact, I’d made up every hour I missed.

  The expression of concern melted into one a bit sterner. “Unfortunately, I can’t agree with that assessment. You’ve missed more days of work than ever in your history at the company—”

  “You mean I’ve taken the personal days allotted to me instead of letting them go to waste?” I wasn’t going to let Chris get away with twisting and turning my actions into something they weren’t. I’d allowed my mother to manipulate the truth yesterday, there was nothing I could do about that. But we weren’t in a courtroom today.

  Redness seeped into Chris’s cheeks. “It’s highly unusual for all of your personal days to be used within a week or two.”

  “But it is allowed, correct? I read through our company policy, and it didn’t say anything about the days needing to be spread out.”

  “It might not be in the company handbook, but it is frowned upon.”

  Meaning Chris frowned upon it. Because he was always looking for some way to cut me down or prove that I wasn’t as good of an employee as the higher-ups thought I was. “I have made sure to log some work hours at home. Everything that needed to get done has been completed.”

  Chris straightened in his chair, a gleam in his eyes. “Then why have several of your clients asked to be reassigned to a new accountant?”

  The blood drained from my head. I could feel it slipping from my face, down to my toes. “Who?” It was the only word I could think to utter. In all of my years at Cornerstone, not a single client had asked to be reassigned. In fact, I’d always had a waiting list of people wanting to get on my docket.

  “The Cove, the marina, and Island Sports all requested a switch.”

  My mind reeled. It spun in circles until the truth hit me like a Mack truck. Grant. The Abbot family had strong ties with the owners of all three establishments. My mother taking the stand against me had been a brutal blow, but losing my job, my sense of security…I wasn’t sure I could stand it. And Grant knew that. I’d always held so tightly to every job I’d ever had, forgoing date nights with him to work extra hours, being an exemplary employee so I’d never be let go. Because having a job, a way to provide for myself, had always made me feel safer. If everyone around me left, I’d still be okay. I’d be able to take care of myself.

  I cleared my throat. “I believe this is because of the current legal case with the Abbot family.”

  Chris made a tsking noise like I was a naughty child. “It really doesn’t show a lot of wisdom on your part to antagonize such a prominent family. You should probably reconsider that legal battle.”

  My hands fisted in my lap, my nails digging into my palms where the skin was still tender from yesterday. “I don’t believe that is any of your concern.”

  Chris’s eyes narrowed on me. “It is when it affects this company. As manager of this branch, I spoke with the board this morning. They agree with my assessment. We’re going to have to let you go. You’ll have two weeks to transition your replacement.”

  My jaw fell open. This wasn’t happening. I’d worked so hard to become the best accountant possible. I’d given my time and energy, everything I had to this job. My chest squeezed at the knowledge of how disposable I was to Cornerstone. How easily I could be cast aside.

  I wouldn’t give Chris the satisfaction of seeing how much it hurt me. That the words he’d so casually thrown out may as well have been a death blow. “I’m sorry to hear you feel that way. I have two weeks of vacation stored up, so I think I’ll be using that starting now.” If he thought I was going to sit by and help him make screwing me over easy, he h
ad another thing coming.

  The redness in Chris’s face was back, a deeper shade now. “If you leave without training your replacement, you won’t be receiving any sort of recommendation from me.”

  I let out a snort. Like I would ever ask this man for a reference. It would likely be a letter cataloguing all my perceived shortcomings and none of my attributes. “I think I can live with that.”

  I stood, not waiting for another word from him. I didn’t want to hear it. The world seemed to tunnel, everything going a bit blurry around the edges as I made my way back through the maze of cubicles to my office. I surveyed the space. There was so little I wanted to take with me. Two framed photos sat on my desk. One of me, Bell, and Caelyn. The other of Harriet and me. There was a potted plant Bell had given me that I’d managed to keep alive for years. That was it. Nothing here spoke of the person I was. If you looked at this office, I might as well have been a mindless drone.

  A burn surfaced at the back of my throat. That’s not who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a woman who saw beauty in the world around her and took the time to relish it. Someone who loved freely and without reservation. A person who wasn’t constantly afraid that the world would crumble away beneath her. But I had no idea how to step into that kind of existence.

  I moved as quickly as I could, gathering up my meager belongings. The photos went in my purse, along with my personal laptop that had all of my records. I tucked the plant under my arm. As I made my way back through the building, people whispered. A few tried to stop me to talk, but I kept right on walking. I wasn’t truly friends with anyone here. They simply wanted the scoop on what had gone down, or maybe to complain about what an asshole Chris was. It wasn’t as if the man was well-liked.