Going, Going, Gone: Suzie's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

  Susie smiled, but frowned inside thinking about the abuse her parents and Tio Emilio must have taken.

  "The last straw, though," her father continued, "was when a couple of white teenagers threw a beer bottle at your mother."

  "Did it hit her? Was she okay?" Susie had never heard that story.

  "It did hit her. She had a big bruise on her cheek near her eye." He touched his own cheek. "She was more shaken up than anything, but it was then we decided to move and start our family somewhere else. My supervisor in Brooklyn arranged for me to transfer up here, so within a month we were in the North Country starting all over again. We'd done it before, so we knew we could do it again."

  "Were things better for you here?"

  "Well," he shrugged, "yes and no. We felt a little like aliens up here, but we vowed that we weren't going to let anything deter us from our goals again. We weren't harming anyone and had a right to be here as much as anybody else. Of course, we made sure you kids spoke mainly English, so you wouldn't have the troubles that we did. Other than that, we decided to be ourselves and be proud of who we were."

  Susie traced the wood grain pattern on the kitchen table trying to digest what her dad was saying. She looked up at him. "So I should be proud of who I am?"

  He nodded. "I will always be proud of you, mi mariposita. No matter who or what you are." His smile was reassuring.

  Susie's heart filled. She always liked the way her father's eyes twinkled when he smiled. "Gracias, Papi."

  "You may have a tough road ahead, but you have to be true to who you are. Mami doesn't hate you, but you have to be strong and stand up for yourself."

  The way he looked at her made her remember that her biggest battle still lay at home. "I'll try, Papi. I'll try."

  "That's all any of us can do." He gave her another hug, and said, "Marlee seems like a very nice girl." He winked at her and changed the subject. "So, let's talk about your car."

  "Is it okay?"

  "Mrs. McAllister's doctor friend and her husband own a repair shop, and," he pulled a business card out of his pocket, "Aldwell's Auto Repair will be replacing the starter for a helluva lot cheaper than Moe's ever would have. My daughter's got good connections here in Clarksonville."

  "I didn't even know it." She laughed. "When will my car be done?"

  "It'll take about a week, so I guess you'll have to bum rides for a while."

  Susie looked back down at the table trying to organize her thoughts. She needed time to think. Time to figure out how to handle her mother. She almost lost her nerve when she looked back up and took in her father's concerned expression. She forged ahead anyway. "Papi, I think I need to stay away for a few more days. I'd like to stay here." She looked back down at the table.

  She had no idea what he was thinking and wouldn't have been surprised if he insisted she come home with him. She held her breath waiting for him to respond.

  "I don't blame you," he said after what seemed like a year. "I'll figure out something to tell your mother, but--"

  "What?" She remembered to breathe again.

  "You have to come home eventually."

  "I know, Papi. I think Mami and I both need time to regroup."

  "We all do." He stood up and gave her another hug. "My little girl is all grown up, I think."

  Susie smiled. "Tell Mami that."

  He grunted. "I need to get back home."

  "You should meet Mrs. McAllister first."

  "Okay."

  "Marlee?" Susie called toward the stairs.

  "Yeah?" came the quick response from the top of the stairs.

  "My dad's leaving and wants to meet your mom."

  "Okay."

  After a minute, both Marlee and her mother came down the stairs into the kitchen. Susie did the introductions, and her father thanked Marlee's mother several times for taking care of his baby. Marlee's mother assured him that it would be perfectly all right for Susie to stay a few more days.

  As he was leaving, Susie's father and Marlee's mother exchanged a glance that made Susie understand that they knew the road ahead might be tough for both of their daughters.

  Susie felt a little empty while she listened to his car back out of the driveway and pull onto the main road. She listened until she couldn't hear the rumble of his car anymore. Marlee and her mother hovered in the kitchen, but respected her silence. Marlee's mother flashed her a reassuring smile, and Susie knew that she would be okay for a couple of days at least.

  The kitchen door burst open five minutes later, and Susie knew she'd be okay when Sam, Lisa, and Jeri flew in. They were on her in a flash.

  Sam hugged her. "What the hell, Sus? What happened to you?" She gestured at the wheelchair and then threw her hands in the air in a frustrated gesture.

  Susie knew Sam was pissed at her, so she tried to downplay things. "What're you talking about?" Susie smiled. "I've never been better."

  "Seriously." Sam laid a hand on her arm. "What happened?"

  Marlee, with Lisa's help, dragged a couple of folding chairs from the hall closet into the kitchen. Once everyone was situated, and Marlee made sure her mother was upstairs and out of earshot, Susie relayed the sordid details of the fight with her mother.

  "And then I just left. I got in the car and drove around for hours."

  "Fight or flight," Jeri said. "You chose flight."

  Susie nodded. Like a coward, she had chosen to run away rather than stay and stand up for herself.

  Marlee picked up the thread of the story and told them about Susie's long walk without shoes to the gas station. "I started crying when I saw her bloody feet."

  "You did?" Susie's heart clenched. "I didn't see."

  "Susie, your feet were so bad, and you looked so defeated that I couldn't let you see me crying, too. You were upset enough as it was."

  Susie drank in Marlee's concern and compassion and knew she was lucky to have her.

  "Dork, just come to my house, next time," Sam said. "Okay?"

  Susie nodded, but vowed there would never be a next time.

  An awkward silence grew around the five friends until Lisa said, "I'm glad you're okay now."

  "Thanks."

  "We all are," Jeri said.

  Marlee, apparently sensing that the mood needed lightening, blurted out, "Hey, you guys, my mom's giving me the van."

  All heads whipped toward her. "What do you mean?" Susie asked.

  "My mom asked me if I'd be okay keeping the van. Joan, that's Susie's personal doctor by the way, offered to sell my mom her old Cadillac. Cheap."

  "Ooh," Jeri said, "The McAllisters are loaded now, are they? Did you win the lottery or something?"

  "I wish." Marlee snorted. "No, my mom says that a Cadillac will look more professional for carting around real estate clients."

  Susie leaned in closer to the center of the table. Everyone else did, too. "So, let me make sure I heard you right. The van is all ours?"

  Marlee exaggerated her nods and shot Susie a smoldering look.

  "Nice." Susie sat back.

  "Can we borrow it?" Sam folded her hands in prayer. "Please?"

  "Hell no," Susie said. "Get your own van."

  "Hey, guys, no fighting," Marlee said.

  The phone rang. "Who could it be? You're all here." Marlee jumped up to answer it.

  Susie laughed, but then noticed the confused look on Marlee's face as she held the receiver to her ear. "Is everything okay?"

  Marlee hung up the phone again. "I don't know. It sounded like there was someone on the other end, but they didn't say anything." She shrugged. "Weird."

  "I bet that was Bree," Lisa said.

  All heads turned toward Lisa.

  "What? I blew up Sam's phone that time she wasn't taking my calls."

  Sam hung her head. "One of my not so mature moves."

  "Nor mine." Lisa grinned. "That's okay. I didn't lose you forever, so all's well."

  Jeri tapped the table. "You guys, this Bree situation is getting kind of se
rious. You need to get this under control."

  Marlee shrugged. "I guess it's time to seriously plan Plan D."

  "Plan D? What happened to Plans A, B, and C?" Jeri looked confused. She pushed a lock of her curly black hair behind her ear.

  Lisa pushed Jeri on the arm. "You really need to get out more, eh?"

  "Obviously," Jeri said with a laugh.

  Marlee filled Jeri in on Bree's unwanted attention and their failed Plans A, B, and C.

  "Girl," Jeri said with a slow shake of her head, "you've got yourself a real-life stalker."

  "No kidding." Marlee tapped the table a few times. "Okay, guys, c'mon. Plan D. Let's start throwing out ideas."

  "Let's try to scare her off somehow," Sam said. "Let's make Marlee less desirable to Bree somehow."

  "Ooh," Lisa said, "Marlee, you can eat lots of onions and garlic and have really bad breath. Ooh, and don't shower. That way you'll stink, too."

  Marlee frowned and stuck out her lower lip. Susie wanted to hold her tight, but settled for patting her hand, since the wheelchair restricted her movements.

  "Or, wait," Sam said. "We could tell Bree that Marlee's pregnant."

  "Yeah," Lisa agreed, "with Susie's baby."

  Susie and Jeri burst out laughing.

  Marlee grinned, but looked confused at the same time. "Why do I have to be the one who's pregnant?"

  "Because," Sam cocked her head to one side, "you're the one with the stalker."

  "Oh, man," Marlee shook her head. "Can we please think of something else?"

  "You could be stupid or boring," Jeri suggested. "Like tell her a story that goes on and on and on--"

  "Oh, like one of your stories maybe?" Marlee teased.

  "I resemble that remark," Jeri said with a laugh.

  Sam looked at Marlee with a serious expression. "You could tell her you're straight."

  "Lie?" Marlee frowned.

  Susie looked at Marlee. "It comes with the territory. You know that."

  "I know, but--" Marlee glanced up the stairs. "I hate the lying part."

  "We all do," Sam said.

  Lisa cleared her throat and turned toward Susie. "Will you be able to play on Tuesday?"

  Susie shrugged. She wanted to play, because she had already missed two weeks of the season, and if she missed any more, Coach Gellar would kill her. She had to play. Feet, or no feet, she had no choice.

  "Uh, oh, Sus," Sam said. "I've seen that look before." She shot a glance at Lisa.

  Lisa help up her healed hand. "She watched me stubbornly play four games with a broken hand."

  "Which was really dumb," Sam made a face at Lisa, "but I understood why. They were playing for a state championship."

  "Clarksonville!" Jeri cheered. Marlee and Lisa joined her in a chant of "State champs! State champs! State champs!"

  Susie rolled her eyes for their benefit and then looked at Sam. "Dios mío, one little state championship, and they get all smug."

  "Yeah, really." Sam rested her head on her chin looking bored.

  Susie made a show of yawning big.

  Once the impromptu celebration ended, Marlee said, "Seriously, Susie, this is just a summer game. It's not worth it."

  "I know." Susie shrugged again, but if Coach Gellar granted her the honor of actually putting her in the game, then she would have to play.

  "Hey, guys," Marlee pleaded, "I'll work on her later."

  Lisa burst out laughing. "I'm sure you will."

  Susie laughed along with everyone else, but Marlee stuck out her lower lip again. "C'mon, guys. We have two days to come up with Plan D."

  Chapter Seventeen

  Una Cabróna

  SUSIE SAT IN the passenger seat of Marlee's van at Sandstoner Fields. They were waiting for Sam to bring Susie's uniform and gear. Her friends weren't happy with her insistence on playing in the game, but she convinced them it would be okay, that her feet had started to heal. Marlee even made her do ten jumping jacks in her kitchen to prove she was okay. Susie did it, but every time she landed on her raw feet she wanted to scream. Somehow she kept a grin on her face throughout the torturous trial.

  The three days Susie spent at Marlee's had calmed her nerves somewhat. Whenever Marlee's mother left the house to go to her office or to show a property, they had the whole place to themselves. They imagined that it was their house, and they had started their life together. Marlee fixed breakfast every day and the one night they were on their own for dinner, Susie made arroz con pollo with fried plantains for dessert. She made sure there were enough leftovers for Marlee's mother to have when she got home. That had been a big hit, and Susie couldn't help thinking she'd scored some major points with Marlee's mom that evening.

  The worst times were when Marlee had to go to D'Amico's to work. On Monday, Susie called Christy to give her the 411 on her latest drama, but it seemed as if Christy just wanted to talk about her own problems. It was then that Susie realized Christy had never been there for her over the years. Christy had always leaned on her, but they had rarely talked about Susie's problems. After Susie hung up, she understood that Christy just wasn't capable of being there for her.

  Other than the one phone call to Christy, Susie tried to distract herself by watching television, but more often than not, she simply turned it off and slept or played with Patches. The best times were when Marlee was home and lay down with her on the couch. Susie wasn't up for much more than cuddling, and Marlee seemed okay with that. Susie hoped Marlee had been serious about one day living together, because she wanted that, too. More than ever.

  Sitting in the van holding hands with Marlee at the field, Susie tried to hang on to the sweet memories, but couldn't help the feeling of dread hanging over her. Would Coach Gellar completely ignore her again? And, even worse, would her mother start another shouting match when she got home later after the game? She hadn't seen her mother in three days, after all, and had even missed the special Sunday dinner with Señora Rodriquez and Roberto.

  Marlee touched her arm. "Are you okay? You're a million miles away."

  "I'm okay." Susie plastered a smile on her face knowing it didn't reach her eyes. "I just hope my feet'll hold up." She attempted a laugh, but it sounded false even to her own ears.

  "At least the swelling's gone."

  "Yeah," Susie agreed, but the swelling wasn't completely gone, and her cuts hadn't healed yet. Not that she told Marlee, but every step hurt like hell. Maybe the swelling had been masking some of the pain. She really wasn't sure how she was going to cope if a miracle happened, and Coach Gellar put her in the game.

  "Oh, here's Sam and Lisa." Marlee pointed to Sam's Sebring.

  Sam parked her car next to the van. She and Lisa got out and pulled their gear and Susie's out of the trunk.

  "Here you go." Sam handed Susie her softball gear and a Price Chopper bag with Susie's uniform inside.

  Susie nodded her thanks. "Did you see Isabella when you went by my house?"

  "Nope," Sam shook her head. "Your grandmother had everything ready when we pulled up. I think she even ironed your shirt."

  Susie laughed and pulled out her uniform jersey. "She did. Check this out." She held up her shirt. There was a crisp crease running down each sleeve. "Thanks for running over there for me. I was too chicken."

  "Hey," Sam shrugged, "I don't blame you. You were avoiding World War III."

  Susie nodded and then hopped into the van to get changed.

  "C'mon," Sam turned toward Lisa. "Let's give Ms. Torres some privacy."

  Lisa shouldered her catcher's gear. "We'll see you guys in the dugout." They headed toward the field.

  Susie slid the side door of the van closed and then changed into her uniform. She slipped on her cleats and almost cried out at how tight they felt. Yeah, her feet were still a little swollen. She loosened the laces, and that helped ease the pain.

  Taking a deep breath for courage, she stepped out of the van onto the pavement. Her feet protested when she put her full weight on them, b
ut there was nothing she could do about it for over two hours.

  "Ready?" Susie grabbed the handle of her softball bag.

  "Are you sure?" Marlee's blue eyes searched Susie's brown ones.

  Susie softened at the concern she saw reflected in Marlee's face. "I'll be fine. C'mon, let's kick some Southbridge boo-tay."

  They headed toward the field, but Marlee stopped and scanned the quickly filling parking lot. "Jeri said she was coming to the game today."

  "She just wants to watch Plan D in operation, I think." Susie frowned.

  "I know you don't like Plan D, but Sam thinks it's the only way."

  Susie growled. "Plan D sucks!"

  They stepped onto the field and Marlee groaned. "Speaking of Southbridge stalkers." She pointed toward the Southbridge side of the field with her chin. Bree stood on the outfield grass stretching with some of her teammates. As if sensing that Marlee was watching her, Bree looked up and waved. Marlee plastered a cheesy smile on her face and waved back. "Plan D better work. I can't take much more of this."

  "Me, neither." Susie tossed her bag on the bench and took out her glove and batting gloves. She pulled her bat out of the sleeve compartment of the bag and hung it on the rack. She plunked her batting helmet into the cubby with her name on it.

  Her Nor'easter teammates headed onto the field in dribs and drabs to stretch and warm up their arms. It felt so good to get back out on the field with them. Susie had mixed feelings about whether or not she wanted Coach Gellar to put her in the game. Her head said, "Yes," but her feet said, "Hell, no!"

  "Circle up, Nor'easters," Coach Gellar called from where she stood just outside the dugout.

  Susie's stomach knotted up as she waited for the starting lineup.

  "Okay, girls. We're the home team, so we'll be in the field first. Here's today's lineup. Jacobs in center, Payton at second, Torres in left, Brown catching, McAllister pitching--"

  Susie stopped listening once she heard that she and all her friends were starting. Coach Gellar probably thought Susie had learned her lesson, whatever lesson that was supposed to be, so maybe everything was going back to normal. Maybe Plan D would work, too, and maybe Susie's mother would welcome her home with open arms. And maybe pigs would fly, too.