Space Hoppers - Dance of the Guinea Pigs

by Jayne Bartholomew

  A figure in a protective suit left engineering through a hatch and gently moved out into space. From the protective suit a tube ran down into the ship where it connected to the oxygen supply through a wall duct. A thick rope controlled how far the figure went out and acted as an anchor to the ship.

  The engineering team secured the hatch and watched the suit as it floated off.

  Down in the wall tunnel a guinea pig finished chewing through the last shred of the anchor rope and started on the oxygen tube. Black eyes watched the rope play out, little by little, until the strain on the rope caused it to snap.

  On the monitors the oxygen level in the suit started to drop.

  After the meal Derek had begun to sweat and Brelt was concerned. She had just prepared a five course meal with an addition of cadka slipped into each of his dishes. There was even some in his drink. She wasn’t sure what she expected but she wasn’t expecting him to twitch so much.

  “Are you feeling all right, Derek?”

  “Sure, great. That was an amazing meal, I didn’t realise you could get aniseed-flavoured ice cream.”

  “Would you like some more?”

  “NO, ahem, I mean not right now, thank you.” He wiped a bead of perspiration away from his forehead. “Is it just me or do you feel a bit warm in here?”

  “Really? It’s been kind of chilly the last few days. In fact I was trying to think of ways to warm myself up…” Brelt looked up at him and put her hand on his arm.

  “I think maybe moving around a little would help; for some reason I feel a bit jittery.”

  “Jittery?” Brelt watched Derek stand up and do a few arm stretches. Then he started to jog on the spot. Then he started doing star jumps.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I’ve suddenly got all this energy and I don’t know what to do with it!”

  Brelt cleared away the plates with a sinking feeling in her heart. She knew that as a woman she had given Derek every chance she possibly could but there had to be a time when you have to admit defeat.

  “I’m just going out for a quick run around the ship!”

  She didn’t even bother to watch him leave.

  It took a few minutes for Rayine to think calmly after Simon had left.

  She couldn’t call for help as her specially modified intercom beeper was lying with the rest of her equipment on the other side of the bars, out of reach. The serving android stood quietly in the corner with the view of Pirate ships behind it. Rayine’s eye narrowed speculatively.

  Not for the first time she thought how unfair it was that a metal object should have such a perfect face while she was left with such an imperfect one. The face she had was never meant to be permanent, but the trauma that had caused her disfigurement had been so great that she hadn’t had the courage to go back to the surgeons.

  Now the Pirates were coming. She could see the smaller ships moving into position and knew there was no way they could escape this time. They had been lucky with the slug hole last time but the ship didn’t have enough electricity to do it again.

  Rayine looked around the small cell she was in and her eye fixed on a panel in the wall. If she had something sharp and metallic she might be able to force it open and short-circuit the wiring.

  She smiled without warmth at the perfect-looking serving android.

  Simon met Sarah returning to her pod after meeting Derek. He called out to her and waved the small pack he had stolen from Rayine with the bottle peeping out of it.

  “Time to go! Are you ready?”

  “Where on Earth did you find another change of clothes?”

  He looked down at his black slacks and T-shirt. “Not Earth but last night I visited an engineer on level one who is absolutely amazing with a needle. I thought that since you’re doing me the honour of accompanying me to dinner I ought to do things properly. You’re not going to complain, are you?”

  Simon slipped past her and into the pod. “I didn’t want Monty to feel left out so I got him a little something too. Here we go, boy, look what Uncle Simon’s got for you.” He unwrapped a take-out order of kebab. “Freshly cooked by our own kitchen with some of my very personal special seasoning.” He held the tin foil open as Monty stood alert and salivating next to him, the now familiar waft of roast pork teasing his nostrils. Simon kept his hand over the top side of the meat to make sure that Sarah couldn’t see the small white pills he had pressed into it. When Sarah looked down to pick up her coat he opened his palm and Monty enthusiastically swallowed the meat in his greed. As the dog finished off the last drug-filled morsel Simon patted him on the head. “Good dog.”

  “I didn’t realise you’d be quite so smart, kind of makes my jeans look a bit scruffy,” said Sarah. “Shall I change?”

  “You’re fine really. I’m only interested in you for your mind anyway.” He gave her a wink.

  Monty went to slump over on his blanket.

  She laughed. “That’s good because I don’t think I do have any other clean clothes to wear right now, maybe I should see your tailor.”

  “I’m not sure he’s doing it any more. When I last saw him he was complaining of stabbing pains.” Simon gave a little half smile.

  “Sounds nasty, I hope he gets that looked at. Shame though, I could have done with a few new outfits. Never mind. So, where are we going for this picnic?”

  “All will become clear in a minute. Follow me.” Simon stepped out and Sarah followed him, calling for Monty who was lying down with his eyes closed.

  “I might as well let him sleep. He’s probably still worn out from all the running he did on the planet. Considering how much exercise he’s had in the last few weeks I can’t blame him for feeling a bit dopey.”

  Simon held out his arm. “Well, let him get some sleep then. Not much else you can do if he’s dead tired. He’s not a puppy any more, is he?”

  She absently slipped her arm in his and thought carefully. “No, he’s not a puppy, but he’s always been so youthful. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.” They went down the corridors towards the lift and Simon pressed the button for level three. “We’re not going to the crew lounge?”

  “I thought I’d give you a bit of a surprise.”

  “OK, sounds interesting.” She sneaked a look into the pack he was holding. “What’s for dinner?”

  “Something extremely special! Rayine’s been working overtime and she outdid herself for us. She’s going to be meeting up with some people she knew a while back so I left her to prepare, but when I last saw her she was in a very excitable mood.”

  “Really? Ah, that’s so sweet of her. Remind me to send her a card, or whatever they do on board to say thank you later.”

  They had come to the entry door of the loading bay and, as Simon punched in a series of numbers he muttered, “Don’t worry about it, after she meets up with her friends I’m sure it’ll be the last thing on her mind.”

  “Still, it doesn’t do to be impolite.” She followed him in hesitantly. “Are you sure we’re allowed to be in here?”

  Simon waved a notebook. “Look, I’ve even got the codes from Booker. You know, you worry too much. Right, I’ve reserved us a seat on bus number five, so if you’d like to open up the passenger door we can make a start.”

  Sarah started to feel a chill of uncertainty. “What, actually get in one of the buses? Simon, I don’t know what you’ve got planned but I really don’t think that the crew are going to be OK with this. I mean, Xander…”

  He cut her off. “Please, I’ve worked really hard on getting tonight perfect. All I’m asking is that you at least take a look inside the bus; you don’t have to do any more than that. Come on, you can’t say you’re not curious, can you? After that, if you’re not all wrapped up and carried away you can leave.”

  “Well, I suppose it’s not hurting anyone if I just take a quick look, is it? And I don’t want you to think that I’m not grateful for the effort you’ve gone to.” She opened the door and looked in. “It’
s very dark in here.”

  “Keep looking.”

  She hesitantly stuck her head around and squinted into the darkness. “I still don’t see anything. What were you planning?”

  “A diversion,” said Simon as he smashed her over the head with the bottle.

  Down in engineering, Booker and his crew were gathered around a screen showing a guinea pig nibbling through oxygen tubes. “Right, now’s as good a time as any for a bit of training - who would like to tell me what we just did there? Yes, lad?”

  Faith cleared her throat. “I think you tricked a guinea pig with a serving android.”

  Booker beamed at her. “And…?”

  “And then you manipulated the oxygen pipeline, which means that the guinea pig is trapped in an airtight box with pure oxygen.”

  “Well done. Don’t forget about the bit where you put the stoppers in the relevant tube going into the box otherwise things start to get a bit messy. Also, if you’re planning to do this on a ship you’ll have flame bursts everywhere if you don’t block up the holes in the walls. Does everyone remember what I said about playing with fire around the pure oxygen tanks?”

  “You should never play with fire around pure oxygen because it’s very, very flammable.”

  “That’s right, Max. Which is why we’re not going to play around.” Booker’s eyes narrowed as he reached for his blowtorch. “We’re going to take this extremely seriously. Good. Use the scanners and clean out every tube and wall space containing anything suspicious. I’m off to the Control room.”

  On his way back from Security, Xander received a call that Pirates had come into view on their scanner.

  Derek was racing around the ship as a near lethal level of Cadka swum in his system. “Stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me…”

  Garet sat in his pod looking at the cocktail Simon had left.

  A true connoisseur should never rush into an unknown experience, be it a recently discovered recipe or a new drink, and Garet wanted to savour the moment. He lifted the bottle to the light and noted its clear form. It was a pity Simon couldn’t stay to give him more guidance but he considered himself an expert in his field and he concentrated on the task at hand. To the purist within him it didn’t look exactly like a cocktail. He touched a panel on the wall and the large picture slid to one side, exposing a glass cabinet. A tentacle ran its way along one of the shelves before choosing an appropriate glass; another tentacle picked up a cloth and gave the glass a tender caress while a third reached for the ice that clinked cheerfully against the side.

  The scene set, Garet sat down at his table and uncorked the bottle, releasing an invisible cloud of acidic fumes. Above his head the ceiling started to buckle. He filled up half the glass and added two cubes of ice.

  Now, what was missing? Of course! He moved back to the cabinet and fished out a packet of nuts. Sitting back with a happy grin on his face, a drink in front of him and a bag of munchies, he had no doubt that the universe was unfolding as it should.

  He hooked a peanut, which he flicked high in the air to catch with his mouth. As he followed the nut up with his eyes, he saw the way the ceiling was starting to bubble. His attention distracted, the peanut bounced off his chin and into the glass.

  Where it dissolved on contact.

  With a severed android arm in one hand and a freshly baked baguette in the other, Rayine came racing down the corridor towards the Control room. If she’d had a voice her screams of defiance would have crumbled armies. Admittedly she hadn’t quite thought out a plan of action but if she was going to be taken by Pirates then she would not be the only casualty.

  Standing in the middle of the corridor was a small, black-robed form. Balancing perfectly on its hind legs the guinea pig brought its front paws up to re-adjust its red bandana, before bringing both paws together and bowing to Rayine.

  Throwing the baguette to one side, Rayine took firm grip of the severed arm by the hand and held it in front of her like a club. The guinea pig nodded to her, and then, emitting a loud battle chatter, came at her in a series of forward flips, brought its paw down on the arm and split it with a single blow. The force pushed Rayine over and as she fell she reached for the baguette. This time the rodent ran at her and split the loaf in midair with one of its hind paws. Rayine tried to edge her way backwards.

  The guinea pig, sensing victory, performed a number of complicated moves before launching itself at Rayine’s face.

  At the height of the leap there was a sudden jet of flame from the engineering holes in the walls that caught the flying form, incinerating it instantly.

  Rayine became aware of voices from inside the walls.

  “Max, did you remember to put the plugs in before you did that?”

  “I thought you were doing the plugs?”

  “I’m sure you said you were doing them.”

  She let her head fall back and breathed out in relief as the bickering in the walls went away, but sat up as the sound of footsteps got closer. Twisting her head she could see Garet approaching.

  He helped her up, trailing bandages. “Are you OK?”

  She nodded.

  “Was Simon involved?”

  Rigorous nodding.

  “The little…” Garet was vibrating with anger. “He tried to poison me! Me!” As he was talking he was peeling off white ribbons of bandages and chucking them to one side.

  “Stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me…”

  “Do you hear something?”

  “Intruder alert - all senior crew members to report to the Control room. Repeat, intruder alert - all senior crew to report to the Control room.”

  Xander was standing with his back to the screen watching his senior team arrive.

  Booker was already leaning against one of the railings. Brelt was involved in a heated discussion with the doctor and Garet and Rayine arrived together.

  “I understand that Security are patrolling the area. Where’s Derek?” asked Xander.

  “Stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me…..”

  Brelt burst into tears. “I did him a meal of with cadka in earlier and he said he felt jittery so went for a run.

  “But he must have heard the intercom?”

  “Ah, I gave him a shot of cadka too before he went to see you for dinner. You know, every little helps?” Garet looked embarrassed.

  “So you think the cadka pills I slipped him as he got off duty earlier could have been a mistake? Well, the lad won’t be short of energy for the next few days!”

  Rayine wrote quickly on her pad: I gave him some cadka soup. Sorry.

  The doctor cleared his throat. “I should perhaps mention that Sarah left Med-crew a few days ago with a shot of cadka for her companion as he seemed a little drowsy. I wonder if she had the same idea as the rest of you?”

  There was a moment of silence as they contemplated the sheer volume of cadka that they had given Derek. In the background, unnoticed, his feet could be heard faintly as he sprinted yet another lap around the ship.

  “Stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me stop me…..”

  “What do we do now?” asked Garet “He might very well feel that he’s invincible but unless the Pirates are planning on challenging us to a four-hundred-metre race we’re finished!”

  “What are we going to do about Derek?” Brelt was back to shredding tissues.

  Booker looked at Brelt and took in her revealing evening dress. “If you gave him cadka why isn’t he still with you?”

  “He said he was feeling jittery. Don’t laugh! It’s not my fault the crew are determined to poison him!”

  “Fair enough, fair enough. The only way we could stop him would be with a tripwire and I don’t have any of that on me at the moment. I could hit him over the head with a spanner but that would probably cause more proble
ms.”

  “I think we have bigger problems than a hyperactive fighter pilot at the moment. Sorry, Brelt, but we do. We have identified Simon as being a spy, who saw him last?” Xander looked around the group.

  There was a din of noises as everyone spoke at once.

  “He’s obviously been busy.” Xander said dryly. He looked around those present and felt a cold lead weight in his stomach. “Where’s Sarah?”

  Eleven

  The lunar eclipse was almost complete and only a thin band of red around the small moon was visible. High above the two humans the stars seemed to shine even brighter to compensate.

  Sarah had been tied to one of the trees that surrounded a clearing in the forest. Her head felt terrible. She was sure that it wasn’t healthy being knocked out so many times in one month and she swore that the moment full consciousness came back she would take serious steps to prevent it happening again. Maybe she could wear some kind of pink crash helmet?

  “Ah, you’re back with me.”

  Simon’s voice was coming from somewhere to her left. It was hard to be sure. A sharp slap across her cheek seemed to confirm location.

  “Hmph?”

  “Sarah? Wakey, wakey - it’s time to wake up now!” Another slap.

  It is time.

  “I’m not ready.”

  Simon stared at her before driving his fist into her stomach. “Simon says, wake up!”

  You have a purpose that has not yet been fulfilled.

  “Not yet, please.”

  “Not yet, please? This isn’t room service, you know! It’s time to face reality.”

  Don’t be afraid.

  Sarah opened her eyes.

  “Thank you,”said Simon sarcastically.” So glad that you could join me.”

  She looked around her before going back to Simon who had gone back to finish unpacking the picnic.