Runner Up

by Leah Banicki

  “What did I miss?” I sat down. The scene on the television was a female news anchor in a comfortable chair. The DVR pause symbol was across the bottom. My parents watched this news program all the time, it was an after-the-news in depth program. They usually made me paranoid about everything from prescription drugs to war correspondence. If my parents were this upset I was not sure what to expect.

  “We had the show recorded. We had no idea that Chrissy had done this. Your mother and I have talked, prayed and feel like you should know what’s being said about you.” He walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder for a quick squeeze. My stomach dropped. How bad could it be? I’d already been dumped. I didn’t like this.

  My dad sat down next to me and hit the play button. Within a moment the older anchorwoman greeted my cousin and they discussed who she was and they scanned back to a scene from Soulmate and my famous dumping scene. It had little effect on me this time. It was only a minute clip.

  Chrissy held up a few pictures of her and I together and I smiled. We had always been close. She lived with us and we are like siblings. Chrissy looked beautiful. Her hair styled flawlessly and in a plum dress suit I had never seen. Her medium brown hair had some new highlights.

  “So Christina Parker, you are Hannah Parker’s cousin and you live with her family in Granger, Indiana?”

  “Yes, Ma’am.” Chrissy said, her voice a little shaky. I was starting to wonder what she was doing. Why did she agree to be interviewed, she knows nothing about the dating show? I had just returned home from the final show and had not been able to chat at all.

  “I am curious why you agreed to this interview, if you have such a close relationship with Hannah?” It was interesting watching my cousin in the hot seat. The anchorwoman was asking a good question. I wondered that myself?

  “Well Beverly, I felt an obligation, as someone who loves Hannah, to let this be her wake up call. I feel she has an obligation to Anthony and I don’t want either of them to get hurt. I am afraid it is aleady too late.” Chrissy looked serious as they got an extreme close up on her. I wondered what in the world she was talking about.

  “Please explain Christina, we saw them break up on television. Anthony is with Desiree, now. I am not sure I understand what responsibility she has with Anthony now.” Beverly Thomas leaned in. I felt like something was about to happen.

  “Well, I am sad to be the one to say it but Hannah Parker is carrying Anthony’s child.” The silence rang out for a moment. My Dad hit the pause button, my mother joined my father and I on the couch. Her sniffling startled me and I actually closed my dropped jaw.

  I began to laugh. It wasn’t a giggle but an angry laugh. My brain went tilt for a few seconds and I laughed out loud again, right before a few fat tears escaped. My mother handed me a tissue and I gave my dad a gesture to continue the show.

  “Am I understanding you correctly? You say that Hannah Parker is pregnant with Anthony’s child.” Beverly Thomas already knew but acted it out well with special emphasis on the word pregnant.

  “Yes, Hannah told me everything, about how they passed on sharing the hotel room on the air but an hour after the date Anthony snuck up to her room. She said that he told her he was officially going to propose and wanted her to know. She said it was so passionate and special. She told me it was her first time.” Chrissy blushed. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. My brain was spinning in a few different directions.

  What in the world had gotten into Chrissy? Why was she making these things up? Oh my gosh, this was on National television!!! She just lied and said I was pregnant on national television. I took another deep breath.

  “Pause it for me Dad.” I rested my head in my hands and felt my heartbeat jumping around. I have always been a private person. I have always been a person who believed in a pure reputation. I can’t think about this. It’s too much.

  “How much worse does it get?” I muttered through my hands. I was not certain I wanted to know.

  “Worse…” My mother said softly. Her arms were rubbing up and down my back. It was comforting. I took a few more slow breaths and sat up straight.

  “Ok, let’s do this.” I nodded to my dad, whose face was rigid and his eyes were hallow.

  Back to the show…

  “I am confused, Hannah maintained at the final show of Soulmate that she was still saving herself. What you are saying contradicts that. I am still trying to understand why she didn’t call Anthony out if she truly was pregnant.” Beverly asked.

  “Well the day before she left for New York, only five days ago, Hannah told me about her plan to get Anthony back for dumping her after he took her purity. She said she was going to get an abortion in New York and then tell Anthony after it was done. Anthony really wants a family and she felt that would crush him.” The lies just kept rolling on as I watched Chrissy try out her acting skills. Some part of me a little impressed.

  “Oh my!” Beverly said. Then let Chrissy continue.

  “I was desperate to get the word to Anthony and try to talk to Hannah before she left. She got angry when I tried to talk her out of the abortion. I don’t believe that the baby should die, no matter how much Hannah is hurting from the breakup.” Chrissy squeezed out a tear and Beverly handed her a tissue.

  “I went with her to the doctor’s office two weeks ago. She was definitely pregnant. We snuck over to the neighbors and used their car to get away from the paparazzi.” Chrissy sniffled and I wanted to puke. She had covered all the bases. It’s all just her word but without any proof I look like a …. I tried to stop the thought process.

  “Do you think she went through with the abortion in New York?” Beverly asked, as concern washed over her face.

  “I just don’t know… she won’t answer my calls.” Chrissy did a convincing sniffle into her tissue and they panned to Beverly Thomas.

  Beverly turned, faced the camera and announced the commercial break. “We will be back in a few moments with Christina Parker. What everone is wondering is if Hannah is still carrying Anthony’s child? Would he change his mind if he knew? Back in a few moments.” The screen switched to a commercial. My dad hit the pause button again.

  “Wow!” I said. I know it was an understatement but I was still absorbing it all. My mom had stopped the sniffling and was quiet. We all were… What to do?

  “Ok Lord, we need some help down here.” I said finally out loud. I feel like I had been praying since my dad woke me up from my nap in an inner whisper for mercy. Perhaps my strange inner quiet was the result.

  My dad grabbed his Bible off the coffee table. He flipped through the pages for a second than stopped.

  “Luke 6:28 - Bless those that curse you, pray for those that mistreat you.” My dad’s voice sounded the same as it did every time we studied our Bible together. He loved to quote a verse then let it sink in. This one felt different somehow.

  “God show us how to do this right.” His voice crackled a little. His heart was breaking, and mine did once I realized what had just happened. I was betrayed, by my own flesh and blood. My father’s brother’s child just lied on television about me. His own daughter betrayed by his own niece.

  I started to sob; it just boiled out of my chest, not for me but for my family. How would we handle this?

  I held my mother’s hand across my chest and slid off the couch and cried in her lap like a child. I prayed as I cried. God please help us. It was all I could say.

  Sometimes there were no words to pray you just had to put your bleeding heart into God’s hands. Chapter 16

  A haze covered me as the night passed. My brother and his wife came by and brought a pizza and a movie, for the girls. The girls were oblivious to the trouble and it was a lovely distraction for a little while, pretending nothing happened. After a round of tickles the girls were shuffled into the playroom for pizza and a movie, while the grown ups talked.

  “Has anyone talked to Chrissy yet?’ My brother, Joe, asked. He kept reaching out to my dad and
squeezing his shoulder. Men have no idea how to handle a crisis. All us girls kept hugging and crying. The guys played by different rules. I didn’t get it.

  “Her phone goes straight to voicemail.” My mother said. “I am almost relieved. I don’t have any idea what to say.” She was back to sniffling. I hated this, everyone upset over this stupid show again. When would this end?

  “Guys, I want to apologize again.” I repeated my speech. They all shushed me immediately.

  “Hannah, knock it off.” My dad said gruffly and managed a smile. “Other people survive their fifteen minutes of fame. We can too.” I liked his way of shutting me up and making me smile in the same second.

  The phone had been ringing non-stop ever since the show aired. My dad turned it off. I had my cell phone on for family and the few people who had the unlisted number. I was surprised when during the family meeting it rang and buzzed in my pocket. I was so used to it being silent. I had shut a lot of people out lately.

  I was hoping it was Allison. I was startled in my heart to see the name Anthony Capriccio flash across my screen. It rang three times before I picked up, I don’t think I breathed.

  “Hello” I stammered.

  “Hi Hannah,” He sounded breathless and amazing, I thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

  “Did you see it?” I asked suddenly, knowing he had. Dear Lord, can this get much worse?

  “Yes, I don’t even know how to start. I know I messed up but…Hannah. What is going on?” Anthony sighed and I could hear the frustration I had been feeling for weeks coming from someone else.

  “My parents are so angry, I can’t tell you how much respect I lost when I confessed to messing up with Desiree. Right now I don’t even know…” Anthony stopped talking. He had messed up but, honestly, he didn’t deserve this either.

  “I am sorry but I have no idea what is happening with my cousin. She won’t answer her phone or email. I haven’t seen her since I left for New York. I have no idea what to do.” I was at my wit’s end. What can you do to protect against lies on television? I wondered.

  “I can go on television and maybe do a press conference.” I offered. Knowing it was going to sound lame. What proof can I offer? It reminded me of a history book I read once, when a princess had to verify her virginity with crowds of people around her as the court physician examined her. How does that translate in modern days? I wanted to crawl into a hole.

  “I don’t know if that would help. If you could get her to … this situation is so stupid.” Anthony set his phone down and I heard some rustling. I could hear voices in the background. There were some raised voices. It sounded like a heated discussion. I wondered if Anthony meant to hang up. Time dragged and it felt like an eternity passing by.

  “Are you still there, Hannah? I need to let you go. My father is coming unglued…wait. No Dad!…” A scuffling noise was loud in my ear and someone was breathing into the phone.

  “Is this Hannah?” An angry male voice was yelling.

  I don’t think this is going to be pleasant.

  “Yes, Is this Mr. Capriccio?” I asked. I heard a grunt that I assumed was a yes.

  “Do you think you can get a muzzle on your cousin?” He said through gritted teeth.

  “I can try, sir.” I said sarcastically. I hated knee jerk reactions from people.

  What good is yelling at me gonna do?

  “So do you have any other friends or relatives ready to sell you out again or is this a one time occurrence?” Mr. Capriccio’s words were forced. He still had a little steam left. This was not the same pleasant father of the groom, “to be” I had in my head from my daydreams. He wasn’t the man I met on the family visit that took place on the show, all glossy and gentle, for the TV cameras. This was Anthony’s dad trying to protect his son. Just as my own father was struggling to do for me.

  My feelings were hurt but I could see his perspective. My emotions won out and I responded.

  “Well Sir, I really can’t say. I don’t seem to be too lovable at the moment for anyone in your family either.” My voice cracked and betrayed me. I took a moment and tried not to cry. A sniffle passed my defense system and gave me away.

  “That is not… I apologize. Bah…” Anthony’s dad lost his bluster and handed the phone back to Anthony.

  “Hannah, I am sorry, we are all a little on edge. This roller coaster ride can end any time.” Anthony sounded tired and worn out.

  “I am sorry too, I don’t handle confrontations well.” I admitted.

  “And another thing Hannah, you aren’t unlovable. Trust me.” Anthony said softly.

  What was that suppose to mean?

  “You aren’t allowed Anthony.” My voice was tight. I wanted to hear more, tell me you love me and you made a mistake and want to marry me and you never touched Desiree or she held a gun to your head or something…

  “I know this is terrible timing but sometime we need to talk and break this up the way it should be done, no cameras but just two people talking things out.” Anthony said softly, using the voice I missed from our dates. Was it real?

  “You want to get together to break up properly, sounds like a blast for me. It’s bad enough I was made a fool of and broken hearted on television, twice. Now you want to get together one more time for closure. Not biting…” I desperately wanted him to say the nice words but I was starting to realize it was really over. No do overs – No changing his mind. I was going to have to truly let him go.

  It felt like someone just punched me in the stomach. My hand actually went to my midsection and held on for some strange internal protection. I might start sobbing, or throw up.

  “I really want to talk to you. Now is a bad time. Desiree is in the other room… but you should know that you are an amazing woman.” Anthony sounded like he was on the show again. A smooth operator.

  “We aren’t on Soulmate anymore, you can lay off the fake accolades. You never were crazy about me. You don’t do what you did to someone you actually care about.” I was getting angry again. What right does he have to try and butter me up?

  “I am sorry, I don’t know what to say to make this better Hannah.” Anthony sighed again.

  “There isn’t anything more to say. You said it already on that hill in the Bahamas. My family and I will do what we can on our end to make this thing with Chrissy go away. Goodbye Anthony. Please let me be so I can get over you in peace.” I heard him say a soft goodbye and I hung up. I ended the call and set my Iphone down as I slithered to the floor. I rested there and sobbed a good few minutes – alone in my pain. My job was to feel it then get over it. This might take awhile.

  I went back into the kitchen to the family meeting but everyone was silent. I guessed that they overheard my emotional call. I was sure my face was a blotchy mess. I only used a few dozen tissues, I probably looked only partially trollish.

  “That didn’t sound very friendly.” My dad said cautiously.

  “The Capriccio family is up in arms.” I muttered as I laid my head on the table.

  “I can imagine that this affects them, too. No matter how untrue it is, he looks pretty bad in public opinion.” My dad was calmer now. We all were, it was a sad accepting calm that didn’t belong. * * * * *

  I am starting a new hobby, sleeping. It was such a pleasant past-time. While sleeping there are no exboyfriends, television shows or news reporters.

  Betrayal was what I felt most. Betrayed by myself for going on the stupid show and not seeing what it was going to do to me. I was so mad at myself I was not sure I wanted to even look at myself again. I felt like the stupidest girl on the planet for falling for all of Anthony’s lies, but also for wanting him back so desperately. His eyes and smile haunted me every waking minute. That was why sleep was so nice. I was not much of a dreamer, so asleep I could just be numb. Thank goodness.

  I felt betrayed by the show, too. I was pretty sure they trained Anthony in how to keep us all following him along on the show. He was coached how to hold on to the fe
males and we would fall desperately in love and believe, until the last minute, that we were “the one” he was going to marry. It’s not about love; it’s about ratings and money. Those commercials are the meal ticket. I just wanted to puke when I thought about the big picture.

  I don’t know what to think about Chrissy. I could not even fathom what she was feeling right now. Probably guilt mixed with a bit of gloating.

  Now that’s not very generous, Hannah.

  She only acted selfish sometimes and had been stand-offish since I moved to New York a few years back. Actually, she had been mildly devastated. She begged me to stay but I was determined to go. It’s funny because right now the city felt like a death sentence. Everywhere I went people recognized me. Sleeping was better. I would just sleep.

  * * * * *

  I heard a thumping over my head. I knew instantly what it was and I sat up in bed, grabbed my nearby cell phone, and clicked the front button. 3:32 a.m. Chrissy was home, trying to sneak into the house in the dead of night! I could feel my stomach tighten up and my heart rate was starting to jump. Here we go.

  I was dressed in a hurry. This was going to happen now if I had anything to say about it. I could hear my parents shuffling around outside my door. I opened it and scared my mother enough to make her jump. I giggled, nervously.

  “So I guess we all heard her coming in. Let’s do this now.” I said. My dad flipped on the kitchen light and we all squinted and adjusted to the brightness.

  “I will ask her to come down.” My dad pointed to the table, my mother and I sat. He headed out the front door and I heard him walk up the stairs to Chrissy’s apartment. They came back down together after a few minutes.

  She walked through the door first, her face completely unreadable. My head was spinning with questions to ask but I was not certain I wanted to ask any of them.

  “Hi.” Chrissy sat down and said cheerily.

  “Hmmmm.” I said, not sure what it meant.

  “What does hmmm mean?” Chrissy now started to look defensive.

  “I have no idea.” I said honestly.