by Ava O'Shay
“No. Letting me finish you off now won’t change anything. I’ll take the consequences.” Ren shook her head. “Look, I’ll write up my part of the project and give it to you by the end of the week.”
“I’m not asking you to finish me of and this isn’t about biology. Why did you tell Brock you’d blow me? What did I do to piss you off? Why do you hate me so much?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “It wasn’t like that. It isn’t…what did Brock tell you?”
“Come to my house and I’ll tell you.”
Ren expected him to wink or grin when he said those words, but he didn’t. In fact his expression was very serious. She looked at her feet and shook her head. She couldn’t. “No.”
“I’ll pick you up tonight? After work.”
She shook her head again.
“Are you seeing Ty now?”
Ren laughed.
Jolin cleared his throat and diverted his gaze. “Did you sleep with him?”
Ren’s heart hurt with his words. She’d let a tiny part of her shield come down and it turned out he was just like the others.
“Fuck you.” She jerked away and left him standing in the hall.
When the bell rang at the end of the day, Ren tracked down Quill and made him give her a ride home. It was raining, and she didn’t want to walk in it. How he ended up with a car when she was the one working was a mystery, but that’s the way it was.
“Get in. I have football practice in a half an hour.” Quill pushed the gas to keep the car from dying.
“Cool your jets bro.” She slid into the seat and buckled up.
“You going to be okay at the house until work?” He turned to look over his shoulder and backed out.
“Yeah I’ll be fine. I’ll give her a wide berth and slip her a few bucks to leave me alone.” She pulled her hair off her neck and tied it in a high ponytail.
“When do you get off tonight?”
“I close.” She knew what Quill was going to ask next.
“Is Brock picking you up?”
“Q. Stop.” She shifted in her seat.
“Just because other guys expected it from you doesn’t mean you have to do it now.” Quill was playing his big brother card.
“I made a deal with Brock and it didn’t work out like it was supposed to. I owe him.” She looked at the window at the world flying by. She didn’t want Quill to know what she was doing, but he always seemed to know.
“You’re so much better than this Nety. It kills me to see you let guys use you.” His knuckles were white against the steering wheel.
“I’m not letting them use me. I’m using them to get money for rent and food. When I’m…you know when I’m with them, they’re at my mercy. Putty in my hands. I can make the toughest guy go weak. I get off on that control. I crave it. You can’t understand, but I’m not the one being used here.”
“Yeah I don’t see it like that.”
“Don’t worry about me.” Ren wasn’t sure how else to explain it. The only time it hadn’t worked that way was when she was with Jolin. He took all of her control with one word. ‘Stop.’ No one ever told her to stop before.
Quill pulled up in front of the house. It looked quiet. Ren hoped it was empty so she could take a shower before work.
“Call me if you need me,” Quill said.
“You’re going to be at practice. Don’t worry. I can take care of myself.” Ren punched him in the shoulder and hopped out of the car. She swung her bag over her shoulder, straightened her shirt, and walked to the front door hoping she exuded a confidence she didn’t really feel.
Ren gave Quill a wave then opened the door. The front room was quiet, but that didn’t mean much. She made her way up the stairs and dropped her bag in her room. A line of light shone from under her mom’s door and from the thump, thump, thump, coming from her room it was pretty clear what they were doing. She felt a little sick to her stomach. However, it was a good opportunity to jump in the shower while they were occupied.
Ren grabbed her bag of stuff and a towel then snuck into the bathroom. She turned on the shower, keeping her ears tuned to any noises. Mom’s old boyfriends liked to walk in like they didn’t know she was there. She wasn’t taking any chances on this new guy or any other random fuck she brought home. When the water was hot, she stripped down and climbed in. Pouring soap onto her hands, she ran them over her body, getting rid of the grime of the day. Then she ducked her head under the stream of water and let it take the tension from her shoulders.
She was finally relaxing when an arm shot through the shower curtain and pinned her to the wall. His forearm held her firm across the chest. Ren’s feet slid on the slick surface of the bathtub, and she fell to the side, her temple skimmed the faucet, dazing her. The man got tangled in the shower curtain, Ren had just enough time to regain her senses and spring over the edge of the tub, bolting for the door. The man grabbed at her ankles, the first one slid through his hands, but he got ahold of the other and pulled her back to the floor. Her side hit the counter and her head hit the floor with a crack. Ren fought for consciousness. She wouldn’t let him touch her.
She screamed, kicking at his face. “Let go you fucking asshole.”
The fact she was completely naked wasn’t lost to her, but she needed to get away and wasn’t going to call a time out so she could get dressed. Ren didn’t recognize this asshole. He wasn’t the last guy she’d seen, but she hadn’t seen anyone for the last few days and Mom could have easily picked up a new loser. He untangled himself from the shower curtain and threw himself onto her. Straddling her waist, he pinned her hands over her head. Ren bucked her hips, kicking and screaming bloody murder. Finally, her mom came to the door. Her clothes were disheveled, and her hair was a rats’ nest.
She started screaming. “Ren? What the fuck. Where are your clothes? You fucking whore. You’re always parading around trying to steal my men.”
She was nuts. The guy seemed just as confused by her mother’s rant as Ren was.
Then there was a thud, and her mom went flying into the hall. A splatter of blood sprayed across Ren’s face and the guy fell backward against the tub. Quill’s boot had made direct contact with his nose. Ren scrambled backward into the hall, then ran to her room, but not before she watched Quill step into the bathroom and start beating the shit out of the guy. The sound of his fist making contact with the man’s face made her sick. She covered her mouth with her hand, but threw up in the hall anyway. Her mom regained her balance and came after her, grabbing Ren by the back of her hair.
“I told you to get rid of this!” she screamed like a maniac, pulling at Ren’s hair. She smacked Ren’s head into the wall. Ren reached out to grab her mom’s legs and pulled her down, then attempted to crawl to her room again. Her mom came at her again, tackling Ren to the ground.
Ren’s face was smashed into the carpet, held there by her mom’s knee. “If you can’t take the time to do what I asked, I will take care of it for you.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Ren saw the flash of metal. Her mom wrapped Ren’s long hair around her fist and brought a shiny pair of pointy scissors toward her.
Holy fuck her mom was going to cut her hair. The sharp edge of the scissors ran across the strands, sticking to her mom’s fingers. Ren bucked her hips and knocked her mom to the side. Her scalp burned with the pull of her hair. Turning, Ren kicked her mother in the stomach and made it into her room. Slamming the door she pushed her back against it. She couldn’t breathe. Her chest heaved. She was hyperventilating. Sobs racked her body.
Ren tried to pull herself together, but the sound of Quill’s fist echoed in her head. Ren put her hands to her face. They came away covered in blood and loose strands of her sheered hair. Her mom started screaming again. Ren’s anger was overflowing. She wished her mom was dead. She wished she could kill her. The pain inside was too much. She dove forward, digging through her stuff to find the razor. She had to release the pain or she was going to explode. She ran the
sharp edge down her forearm and waited for the release… but it didn’t come. She lowered her head onto her knees and pushed in deeper until the blood flowed quickly from her arm.
It seemed like hours she sat there but it was only minutes before sirens filled the air and the police pounded on the door.
“My son. That’s him. He tried to kill my boyfriend. Arrest him,” Mom screamed.
Ren pulled herself out of her daze. Blood dripped from her fingertips, emptying from the deep cuts on her forearms. She found some shorts and a tank top to slip on and slowly opened the door. Quill was against the wall handcuffed. Mom screamed in his face and he screamed at the man sprawled in the bathroom.
“Mother fucker. Keep your God damn hands off my sister. You asshole prick.” Quill continued a string of profanity even though he was told to shut up. When the police loosened their grip, he tried to kick the man.
“He’s crazy!” the man yelled. “He was in the bathroom with his sister. I won’t stand for that behavior in my house.”
“Your house? This isn’t your house you ass. You fucking asshole.” Quill struggled against the police officer, trying to go after the man again. The man’s shirt was torn and bloody. His face was a mess and blood dripped from Quill’s knuckles.
Ren walked into the hallway.
“There she is—the little hussy,” Mom screamed and pointed at Ren. “She flaunts herself all over town. Sticks her ass in all the boys’ faces. Whore!” She yelled again, “Opening your legs for everyone. You disgust me trying to fuck your brother.”
Ren could tell from the fire in her eyes, she was high. She didn’t know what she was saying, but the words still hurt. Ren didn’t have any fight left. She retreated to her room and shut the door.
“Ma’am?” a police officer stuck her hand on the door, stopping it from closing. “Are you hurt?”
Ren shook her head. She didn’t really know if she was or not. She was numb.
“I think she’s in shock,” he said to his partner. “Get Abby up here to talk to her.”
The other police officer said something into a radio on his shoulder, then took her mom, who was still screaming about Ren being a whore, and moved her into her room. A woman police officer appeared and sat next to Ren on the mattress. She picked up a blanket and wrapped it around Ren’s shoulders.
“Hi, I’m Officer Reynolds. Abbey.” She had nice eyes. “What’s your name?”
Ren blinked at her, but didn’t say anything.
“Do you need an ambulance? Who did this to you?”
Ren shook her head. She should have felt the pain in her head…the pain of the cuts on her arms…but she felt nothing.
“Let’s get this covered.” She picked a T-shirt off the floor and wrapped it tightly around her arm.
Ren blinked at the officer, then looked at the front of her shirt. Blood soaked through the material of the tank top. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.
Quill’s voice rang through the hall. “I want to see my fucking sister. He was trying to rape her. Is she okay? Let me see her!”
The officer looked at the door, and then back at Ren.
“I want to press charges. He was trying to rape his sister, and I won’t have that. I want to press charges.” The boyfriend was yelling, Quill was yelling, and her mom was still yelling from down the hall. Ren covered her ears with her hands.
“Ren, tell them what happened.” Quill yelled, but his voice was moving farther down the hall. “I would never touch her like that! Ren God dammit tell them!” He was being arrested and taken out of the house. The man’s voice got louder, and then faded as well as he was led down the stairs after him.
“You’ll need to come with me. Do you need an ambulance? We’ll take you to the hospital. Do you have shoes to put on?” The officer was talking to Ren, but she couldn’t really understand what she was asking.
She moved around Ren’s room until she found her boots and slid them on her feet. Then she wrapped an arm around Ren’s shoulders and led her to a waiting police car.
The last time Ren found herself in the back of a police car was when her mom’s boyfriend had abused her and locked her in her room. She’d escaped, but the neighbors finally decided they’d heard enough and called the cops. They picked Quill and her up at school and placed them in foster care until Grams rescued them. She had a sinking feeling things might turn out the same way, only Grams wasn’t around to save them this time. Ren couldn’t stop her body from shaking. Or the hiccupping noise coming from her as she tried to suppress the hysterical crying fighting to come out. The cut on her arm soaked through the T-shirt already and was dripping bloody spots onto her shorts.
By the time they parked in the emergency lane, Ren had calmed down enough to know she wasn’t going to turn into a sniveling mess, but she couldn’t stop the shaking. Officer Abbey wrapped a thin blanket around her shoulders and led her into the emergency room.
“We’ll need a private room for possible questioning and probably some stitching,” Abbey told the lady behind the desk. She turned to Ren and gave her a sad smile. “I’ll stay with you until we can get all this straightened out.”
Abbey was true to her word, she stayed with Ren while they sat in the emergency room. Ren had a concussion and a lot of cuts and abrasions, ten stitches in her arm, but nothing life threatening.
“My name…” Ren’s voice cracked. She cleared her throat and tried again. “My name is Ren Diaz.”
Abbey nodded. “Nice to meet you, Ren.” Abbey settled in a chair to the side of the exam table.
A nurse came in with a tray of shiny, silver instruments. “I was told we needed a rape kit.”
“What? No!” Ren yelled looking at Abbey. “No!” She jumped off the exam table.
Abbey calmly walked to where Ren had jammed herself into a corner. “We need to do a rape kit on you. For evidence if this goes to trial.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t need one.”
“I know after everything that’s happened it seems invasive…”
“I don’t need one because I wasn’t raped.”
Abbey scowled at her.
“I wasn’t raped,” she repeated.
“Ren…”
“I’m not lying. I wasn’t raped. It was a misunderstanding.”
“We were told your brother…”
“No!” she screamed. “Quill was protecting me. He would never…don’t even say that.” She pointed at Abbey. Tears started to fall. “Don’t say that,” she choked out the words.
“Tell me what happened then.” Abbey had that cool and collected voice cops get when they are talking a jumper off the ledge.
“It was a misunderstanding.”
“Would you like to explain how the scenario played out?”
“Don’t you want to take me to the station?” Ren sniffed.
“We can do it now or later, whatever you want.”
“I want to get out of here.” Ren roughly wiped the tears from her cheeks then wrapped her arms tightly around her middle. Being here reminded her of the past. Being here reminded her that once more, she was alone.
Abbey glanced back at the nurse. “Are we good to go?”
“If you don’t need the kit there isn’t any reason she can’t go.”
“Then I’m out of here.” Ren brushed past Abbey and led the way back out to the emergency lane where the police car sat.
Abbey stepped around her to open the back door and get her settled before getting behind the wheel and driving them to the police station.
“You know the police are here to help. If you’re in any trouble, all you have to do is call,” Abbey started her counseling session.
Ren looked out the window. “It was a misunderstanding. Quill was just looking out for me.”
“Yeah. You said that already. Here,” She pushed a business card in Ren’s face. “You can call me any time. I’m available whenever.”
Ren took the card then leaned her head against the wi
ndow, her breath hitching as she tried to pull in the cool air. She wouldn’t call Abbey. She wouldn’t tell Abbey the truth either. Her mom and her boyfriend may be pathetic assholes, but her mom was the only thing keeping her and Quill out of the system. As ridiculous as it was they needed their mom to be their guardian and along with her came the revolving door of loser boyfriends. They couldn’t have one without the other.
It didn’t take long to get to the police station. The town they lived in was small, and it didn’t take long to get from one end to the other. Abbey released her from the automatic locks of the back of a squad car. Ren suppressed a small smile remembering how Jolin’s car constantly locked her in.
Abbey settled Ren in a chair next to a desk. Then she sat down. “Okay. How was this a misunderstanding?” Abbey pointed up and down at Ren’s blood soaked clothes.
Ren hadn’t expected her to be so sarcastic in her question. Were police allowed to be sarcastic? Obviously she didn’t believe Ren, and she hadn’t really started lying yet.
Ren rubbed her hands up and down her thighs. “I was taking a shower and my mother’s boyfriend…”
“Ben.”
“Who the hell is Ben?”
“Ben James. Your mom’s boyfriend?”
“I don’t learn their names.”
“Anyway.” Abbey waved her hand at Ren. “Go on.”
“I was taking a shower. Ben accidentally came into the room, and Quill thought something more was going on. He overreacted.”
“Your story is very different from both Ben’s and Quill’s”
“I’m not sure what you want me to say.”
“The truth.”
Ren locked her gaze to Abbey’s. She didn’t have the luxury of telling the truth. She had to look out for her and Quill’s future. They were too close to graduation to get split up or moved to a new school.
“Okay I can see this is the story you’re sticking to. Is there anyone you’d like me to call to come get you?”
“There isn’t anyone.”
